uploaded the photos into facebook bit by bit. 3 days with them fly so fast compared to a whole year, 2 years in fact... since the last time i saw them. suddenly a fear builds up, fear of losing them, though not likely, but who knows, our topics are limited, our language is slightly passed the conversation line, if i dont brush up my indo scared cant even talk already, and who knows too, humans may change.. feeling like a was in such sweet dream until the alarm sound wakes me up, just like how i felt when i stepped into bds, also when ding hsuan left to taiwan... just cant believe the dream gone so fast, wonder when can it come again. anyway, speaking of sleeping, havent slept for such short period yet felt so alive after waking up. not in s'pore, not here, but there in puncak, mere 3 hours of sleep felt so fresh, like a same old brand new me.... that feeling of freedom and easiness... btw indo songs are easy to catch up, at most 1 time should be able to predict the tunes. sigh, so again, happiness is transient, time is cruel, memory is sorrowful... Happy Memories are addictive drugs that made us feel alive for just that brief moment yet had left me in such unbearable plight, yearning for more, and got no choice but to counter the eagerness by consuming more...

took the True Fear quiz again after almost a year... was totally astounished to be such a big change, well, my death fear had built up, so do the being alone and losing someone, it is again proving the fact that as you grow old, you're more coward, and also you met more people, which means u have to much people that you once got along well and you will start to fear that they will just vanish away, leaving nothing but memories. you will soon rather them to remain in the same state as they were once you met them, regardless how good or bad they've changed...

i will miss you both Christian and Yohanes, aku akan merindukanmu, btw they are also earning a little by rf online, they're audition are so pro, 8k 150bpm with crazy9, wow, not many guys i seen could do that... though ofcoz this is a layman saying it... was wondering if wanna propose a exchange programme between them + family and wuluowuxuan... they come singapore for a week and we'll go there for 2 weeks... 2 weeks coz indo is too big to be able to enjoy much in a week, at least 2 weeks... and i think they will be bored in singapore for 2 weeks... that would be cool.. well if they accept, they have approx 6 persons at least and might range up to 10, at least a 2 room flat and able to cook, dont mind family dwelling but must have 2 vacant rooms as they could sleep on the floor... can find, guess not, jy kaya... for us, houses here are so big, can easily cramp 20 people in a shalet such as the one i lived that 2 days, or my own house if possible, not as comfortable though, or hotels, their house if no choice, gotta sleep on the floor, wonder if wlwx will mind... haha... but it's alot easier that their temporary settlement in singapore...

now back to wlwx, a month of sickness and being confined at home doing nothing much bores me, bet im gonna lose out alot when i return, miss them much too, wonder if i could make it for countdown gathering... will reach home only at 10pm... sigh... last post for the year i guess, it's luck internet is good today, very very good...

Unexpectedly fun the last 2 days, thought i have to chance to go ktv and pools, couldnt eat to my harts delight... but turned out all was fulfilled. pool table 2k for a game, super cheap! ktv foc... wow, heaven, nice weather too except to my poor legs a night... went to places that i have never been before and doubted i would even go if not for them, thx so much... 

fri
woke at 4 due to the mosque prayers, went off by 5, reach puncak went to some nice garden and took a walk, vomited due to the 100m run-away-from-horse-shit... haha what a joke! after felling so much time had passed, it wasnt even noon, went swimming after lunch, again after feeling so much time had passed it was only 2... went ktv while they were sleeping. Time then flies till the next day…

sat
went to waterfall, took lotz of photos, will upload them when I go back to sg. Again the same feeling, it was noon, we went pool for 10 rounds before we went back home to rest and resume again at night, after some ktv again.. after the later 10 round pools went to a public ktv, haha scared off ALL the patrons, cool eh? That’s all for that day…

today
woke at 4 due to the prayers but slept again due to the buay tahan coldness that pokes be hard in my legs and hands, they were trembling… well, then off we go back to city… sian… it was so not enough lorh, wanted a whole lot more… then started blogging now…

oh, seiously everything here is so damn damn cheap... audiion a-cash 10k rupiah for 10k cash leh!! price of items are same somemore... lan shop 2k 1h.... sigh, to leave here for 4 bucks a day i would not need to owe $...

Merry x-mas to all~! finally going to puncak, though not as delicious food and comfortable spacious living but friends are there, in their houses now, christian and yohanes, internet speed is excellent, wow, met jiaolian on facebook texas poker, he's my lucky star, after he left i won a sit n go tournament. Right... homeworks, i have not started on it at all, all left in s'pore, sigh gonna be a tough time next year, but look at the bright side, at least i learnt more about chem, just browsing through helps, it was untouched until this dec holidays. Oh, i finished tuition compos too, thats a positive, and was let driving on the roads, manual is so troublesome lorh... 

Was having fun with photoshop until the uploading speed made it back to rockbottom...

EGGS-tra Knowledges:

红果蛋 (Red Fruit eggs) - made by hens that consume the flesh of red frits that was used by manufacturers that produce red fruit juice, contains 30% nutrients of the juice itself. Low cholesterol. Helps cancer.

皇帝蛋 (Royal eggs)- contains more than just omegas, further details was not enclosed by expert.

低胆固醇蛋 (Low-Cholesterol eggs) – contains mere 70 cholesterol which was slghtly lesser than required intake of cholesterol by human, which is 75. Normal eggs have cholesterol about 250 !

斋蛋 (Vegetarian eggs)– made by hens that consume nothing more than vegetarian meals, therefore not fed with meat powders that normal hens would consume.

维他命蛋 (Vitamin eggs)- made by hens that consume high concentration of the particular vitamin.

抗氧化蛋 (Antioxidant eggs) - Unknown methods of hens diet, experimented that can reduce cancer cells by half !!

杂蛋 (Rejected eggs) - To be sold to restaurants due to ugliness.

无壳蛋 (Broken eggs) - To be sold to bakeries.

How to identify sick chickens: By listening to their snoring at night, further actions were not disclosed by expert, but every single situation will have its buyer.

Lots of things happened today

first, about housing, why must people be so willing to pay interest just to pay in installments? why dont they want to remain in parents' house until they saved enough? if not, why isnt there any kind soul to buy the house under the name?

example, person a help person b buy a house, person b lives in it, person a doesnt need to care for the house, might collect little rental but much much smaller than interest of bank (for the amount of years b thinks he could save up the money), after some time person b got enough money to buy from person a. 

benefits:

if person a decided to sell due to the increase of housing price, he profit, person b got nothing to lose, furthermore person a had receieved additional income from rental

if person b doesnt want to buy that house, the house is most probably furnised and decorated well, both got nothing to lose, the house coud be rented or sold away again, person a had additional income from rental

anyway person a must be someone close, also can increase relative relationship....

another thing, about my third uncle, when he was just a teen, 初出茅庐, young and unexperienced, he wanted to lend $ from his 4th uncle, but was rejected COMPLETELY (NOT A CENT), now the 4th uncle had to rely on him on EVERYTHING (living cost, medical bill.. etc), with an unfilial son mia for decades, a unstable daughter with mental health problem, and one somewhat luckier daughter with a good daughter that was well off after marriage. 3rd uncle was benovelence, from my angle, i would turn a cold shoulder, thiat s e no matter the plight the other party was in, i treat them good at first, if they take it for granted, i will cut all connections with them.

tomorrow is the day one of a relative is gonna be cremated, grandma told my dad no need to fetch her, which was a big mistake coz of all, respect is VERY CRUCIAL, mum did not object grandma's opinion too, dad was obviously pissed... 

well green garden (my house) is now cleaned, remember, anyone wanna rent plz contact me... good enviornment, did my tuition homeworks while listening to the majestic music blasted from my neighbour, of bee gees and or chinese classics... was rather relaxing..

in my previous post forgot to mention one touching incident weide did for me, must thank him for that, he submitted my name to a temple, said to help recite the scriptures a certan number of times after a year, though we both forgot in the end, was realy touched and thankful, all i ever did to him was to submit his name for a anagram poem in china for 5 yuan, which turned out wet and wrong nae written, im such a failure....

Happy Birthday to my shi xiong, Kai Yu~!

Argh so hungry and tired now, just leaving a note or two, well, cant wish sx i person nor sms, thus created a ecard for him, wootz i photoshop editing not gone yet, still can bluff through for the eyes of Po in kung fu panda, took the scene where he was holding up a bowl of paos and was ooking down, so edited abit, and change the paos to a preset birthday cake, replaced background with a the shaolin temple an a faint mountain scenery too, all fro Kung Fu Panda, wanted xiaolin showdown but then internet too slow got pissed, i was thinking of omi doing a he zhang xing li, couldnt find in google images so had to stream and cut, which was taking  forever, nonetheless 1 hour of finding pics, 1 hour trying to stream the xiaolin showdown episode 1, 2 hours of editing coz i forgot lots of tools, another slightly less than 15mins just to upload !!!!! 

Fri aunt gonna go puncak, hope can tag along, been sick but still got great appetite, total torture!!! havent been to any leisures but just shopping for clothes, pray to my materal grands, cleaning up my house which was empty for half a year, btw if anyone wanna find a house to rent at jakarta call me!! very big very cheap... half-furnised newly decorated...

finally allergy had one off, rashes on neck, for the past 3 days, sick for the past... exactly a week!!!.... sian should be recovering soon, argh cant wait for martabaks, sian can foresee latergot objections pobably from grandma, sigh, for something i would always yearn for and must wait long before i could taste it yet kept getting hindrance, IM NOT FAT IF I COULD KILL !!!! trust me on that, i rather slaughter a human than an animal... 5 meals a day but low carbo, half full each meal, no exercises though, no energy... zzz, buay tahan liao, gud nite swt drmz.. 

Stupid internet so slow, bo bian, can only make use of what i have and try to be happy with it... 2 things im gonna mention in this post, is the 2 things i couldnt make it... both happens in 2 days time the 22nd dec. first is sx birthday and couldnt wish him in person nor sms, 2nd is to see zhigao appear on tv haha. he won the bai jia le thing, cool eh, free furnitures..

Well there are ofcoz a few people whom i want to thank, kinnda standard for lots of people out there to thank a few persons towars the end of the year...

Zhi Gao, met since p1, very cute and chubby, fun-loving and enjoyable person to be with, thanks for sponsor of food when im broke and hungry... bcoz of him everytme i have $ and not hungry i would treat whoever near me

Ding Hsuan, mia now probably in taiwan, pri sch mate till p5, bo bian had to throw away both shirt and pants he gave... rather stole from his roommate coz they do that all the time... anyway sobsob

Huang Kang, pri sch mate, enjoys being with him coz he always brightens me day, dont mnd juz tok whole day, hua xia zi

sec not much, no specific to mention,they're all fun though...

wx, those people are my 2nd family, friendly and outgoing.. well except for some... most importantly, and hopefully, shares similar interests... and a good listener for me to qing tu yi kao... ps all in pinyin and short form coz internet unstable nowadays....

这么多年了，也许已讲过，但我现在才知道原来婆婆曾帮老爸的表姐，后来她妨碍我们做生意还抢生意，他妈的！也许现在我会生活得更舒服把，哎，命运巴！搞不懂为什么有这么不知天高地厚的我会拥有个曾经是个羞答答的胆小鬼，现在他可是胆大包天的人了！可是命运是非常可怕的，差一点一生人的发生经过都可能被挖出来，查过算命书，老爸的命的确与书一模一样。我的命算好，希望事事如意巴！尤其为了让父母高兴的学业与让父母生活更舒服的职业，最重要的是武轩武术与能成为一个更完善的人。听说我来历不凡，那么又为什么当初要选择重新做人而冒着这巨大的险，如果不妙重新做人的目标没达成而反而误入歧途这么办？不是以前说辛辛苦苦修养道德白费？哇这人还真是大呢！又为什么是我呢，我又不是什么大人物，为何是我？说着，又为什么我会有我的想法儿他人有他的想法呢？如果有阴间的话，又能记起以前的事吗？做回人又重零开始吗？哎，世外万物真奇妙啊！

rewatched infernal affairs (无间道) trilogy, am still anchored to the thought that the ending for 3rd sequel is rubbish, how can such proffesional spy of a triad gone nuts, well can only be explaind by karma, that nothing can be more formidable than it, anyway a famour quite "我想做好人" suggests 身不由己.

another film i rewatched is "天下无贼", suggesting that even the so called 'bad' have their own principle and morality... 盗亦有道

oh also i watched "杀人犯" by Aaron Kwok, ending was a twist but quite absurb, suggesting 己所不欲，勿施于人, a phrase that shixiong once said to me when i lost my hp after returning 3-4 lost phones to its owner, then i felt myself being stupid to be such mr. nice guy, still after much talkings i will never again go an extra mile for a stranger, as 无间道 mentions that event can change men but men cannot change event, it was mention because the two main characters actually changed event therefore was praised.

"意外" taught me never to jump to conclusion and also 知人之面不知心. Sad ending where the killer wanted to prevent the staged accident but it was in vain, innocently killed the innocent which he first suspected him killing his counterpart.

GI Joe was okay, quite a standard storyline, same as B13 Ultimatum.

Well, went to huizhen blog cause it was the first to load among all the rest, saw one of her blog saying inferiority, well yea i remembered i felt that too long long long time ago. I used to be someone who loved to be praised, be it 拍马屁 or 锦上添花, therefore always when someone else was in the limelight i was rather envious and strived hard, therefore was sometimes depressed feeling im useless, that was long long long time ago, having a same selfish chldish mind. Actually sometimes i feel it that way too, if not for the little optimism i still have left with me, i would break down already, 与上不足，与下有余 so must 知足才能满足, coz for every one who gets to shine, a million more are left behind... like those nameless brave souls who died in the honor of a great general's name... sometimes i wonder what is my purpose of life, i think i mention it the third or fourth time in my entire blogging life already, one very recently early this year... i want to make a change... but can I??

love this song... melody and lyrics especially the chorus

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind? Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know 'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be That's Why I'm Starting With Me

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

one conclusion, time flies very slowly here, i just found out i couldnt live without internet, couldnt have music, couldnt youtube, couldnt search any random stuffs at all, and i would desperately sit in front of it for half an hour before loading up a blog, ofcoz some takes shorter time than others... msn hotmail is not so hopeless, at most 10mins...

life here got pros and cons too as usual, however more cons than previous years, there will be no puncak, no out-of-home leisure, more children selfishness and rants that i would eventually give in to them and more nags from parents....

at least i got some movies here to watch... 20 more days... hell....

right, i think most importantly, no friends, that emptiness, that empty hole in me that i wonder what could fill it up... actually, all i want is on 2 ends, either all the way adventures and surprises or worry free at all, i dont really like the middle, but ive got no choice, there will be balance in one way or another...

finally treated myself with a self cooked mee goreng and fried egg with a success flip in first try, cool.. first time trying to flip an egg haha, anyway today was starving real bad... whole day only a small tub of ice cream and a bubble tea... crazy... lucky got 3 slices of pizza at nite, which cost me 6 bucks! damn broke, owe a total of... 45 bucks?? crap... nx year not gonna buy anything at all....

these few days my comp had been not co-operative, will seldom blog, kept hang like crazy, couldnt even go to start page just now morning, reformatted now, still hangs once in a while...

... sigh...

well it's the last week before i bid farewell to singapore, gonna be bored back in indo. well hope i could still go puncak, at least there is karaoke there, 24/7 somemore, all by myself, though the songs there is quite old.. really old...

well, at least can kill some time watching movies on that huge screen...
and pool though the stick it kindda.. u know...
and the peaceful surrounding..
the fresh air...
and the scrumptious foods...
the 5-or-more meals a day...
the loneliness... sigh...

well its not my home, no matter how great it is, without kinship, as in father or mother, or brothers, it's just an empty mansion...

wushu is an exceptional ofcoz, through there i think im encouraged and learned to be a better being... note i use being not human.... humans are not a perfect beings nor kind beings... gonna miss wushu though it's only a month, next year gonna have a prison life... maybe a bull-in-prison life, bull because it is a busy year and i really want to get out of that confinement... just hope that i could survive that year, i dont think an l1r4 or 10 is achievable for my current plight... just jy anyway. then i swear im gonna take a not-so-well-deserve break..

wow so late le, so far so good, great life im enjoying, though my thighs are hurting like mad... it requires a significant amount of effort just to stand up from the chair.. hope it recovers tomorrow, poker was fun haha, won 10k from.. 200 chips!! haha, guess it was luck

Second day passed peacefully, went line dancing for the 2nd time in the morning, added 2 more dances to my memory, it's kindda easy when you got the hang of it, but it does requires a significant amount of concentration haha. As usual, praises from the uncles and aunties to see a youth in their kind of thing... I know im just different... though fun, the atmosphere just isnt there, it has to be a whole bunch of people dancing.

Played basketball with Alan after the dance, 2 friendly matches of 5 scores with a slippery ball similar to the one I used to own at p5.. those memories.. haha. Started a brief conversation with him since it's already the 3rd time we met.

Then went for dentures checkup, modeling or something like that... 3k will be gone next year... Moreover a couple of hundred a month for english tuition.... damn money wasted on a forlorn being like me, pitiful... Common, the internet is full of resources, as if im gonna use whatever is bestowed to me, furthermore the few thousands in university or higher degree of education. ABSOLUTE BIZARRE!!! SUCH FATUOUS PLAN !! PREPOSTEROUS EFFORTS ! If I'd set a path I want to take, by focusing on that route, could save a whole lot of money!! If the society do not need a certificate just to do a job that might not even require much academic excellence but common knowledge and street wisdom.... Sigh, yet again, work for what? MONEY MONEY MONEY !!! RELENTLESS PIECES OF SHIT !!! AT TIMES, SHEETS OF SHIT... though i would greatly need these shits to survive in the world....

been posting frequently these days haha, coz got more freedom, well it's a day passed peacefully, hope it would continue. My style of life had just begun, got up, go out, come back again, worry free, own time own target....

why the rush?
slow down and waltz with me...
a little sway and then you'll see...
the rapid world, the estasy...

when it stopped?
slow down and waltz with me..
a feather step, the music ceased..
the human beings, the main mischief..

how is it?
slow down and waltz with me.
just take the lead, and she will be.
to contradict? or let it be?

why not just slow down and waltz with me

1000 Years (Or More)

one of the 3 dances i learned today.. my fav so far

... totally worn-out..

...dead beat...

wootz survived through the night surprisingly without any fever acting up, yet injured a finger from the volleyball haha, damn my waist still hurts a little...

tmr line dancing, something i got interest in, and it's free! great haha, too bad all aunties, anyone care to join? 7am nia, or thur night... missed flash mob, but line dancing should be fun too i guess haha.

bbq today was great, though sometimes like out of place, soon blended in with some songs and jokes... and volleyball... their chalet no offence looks quite boring haha, well its always up to themselves to make it fun.. ofcoz my kind of fun is doing insane stuffs or being lame for a night hehe

wonders if can go down on fri, well dad's not around, a little more freedom haha, just have to finish up some hol hmwrks i guess...

Damn getting sick.. slight cough coupled with cold... nevertheless im still gonna go the rv bbq after seeing my dad off...

投名状 (Warlords) is a sad film... with casts like Jet Li as Pang Qing-Yun, Lau as Zhao Er-hu, Takeshi Kaneshiro as Jiang Wu-Yang. Their actings are excellent, and the props vividly displayed a battlefield, the storyline is rather standard and easy to predict but it's worth the show for the actings especially for their expressions.

You are 8% controlling/perfectionist!

 

You are not very controlling at all. You often do not like to be in a position of control, finding it to stressful, and as a result, you often get pushed around. You are not very judgmental towards other people, though you can be sometimes. You tend to go with the flow, and are often very submissive towards other people. You don't sweat the small stuff, and you usually aren't very stressed.

How controlling/perfectionist are you?
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Well, no doubt I'm getting more stressed up every year....  Sigh

You are 38% Suicidical

 

I think you're most of the time happy, but sometimes you just need a break from life. I don't mean that the break i'm talking about is death. NO WAY!! Cause there are to many happy moments in your life and people love you. Music is a great break, just sitting somewhere with music that just says what you feel! So take a deep breath and keep on living! LIFE IS GREAT! Bye and good luck, Karolien

How Suicidical Are You?
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At times living to death coz it's the safest way to heaven to die old

Below is my lit assignment which i sped 2h composing and analyzing, no offense whatsoever, it is just a homework!

Analyse and write your interpretation of the song "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine from Twillight soundtrack, hint: commenting on society in general.

In general, the song is commenting on America society, pointing out the dark side she have that had overwhelmed the justice and righteousness.

The first verse talks about America in her early stage. ‘Quick’ is used as America’s history is shorter than most countries. These founders of States strived hard to build up the nation, just as described, diving deep for coins. Then other countries started to grow interest on America, mainly because of the American Dream, where it is described as eyeing on the boy’s toys. Yet all these efforts of the States early settlers were in vain when laws and regulations established, forcing America to follow the society, leaving the past life behind; cut my long baby hair, where long again suggest the effort of States early settlers had put in building up the nation. Dog implies loyalty, and map implies direction, therefore by stealing a dog-eared map probably means that America had no choice but to follow the direction society wants her to follow, therefore using ‘stole’ as the direction is not hers. The last phrase ‘called for you everywhere’ suggests that America do not have her own mind already therefore needing the society.

The second verse talks about America in her current stage. She is now but a lazy, well-fed cat, treating her tongue that could attack painfully by being frank. This refers to all those scientists revealing defects of other countries hurting many hearts. Then again, ironically, she couldn’t manage her own internal problems such as the Federal and crime rates. This is expressed in the expression where she could only watch the "poison rats" that come through the "wide fence cracks". These ‘rats’ knew that the society is misleading therefore pissed on the magazine photos. Blood of Christ mountain stream symbolizes the pure living and spiritualism, and this is only a lure for the innocence, and true enough these magazine photos were thrown away later, indicating that the society debases religion and honest living. The mountain stream reinforces earlier expression of the wet boy diving for coins. Everything has been lost and flattened and is used as nothing more than advertisement and cast aside, and our basic humanity is lost in its pages.

In the first chorus America was uncertain if she had founded a nation by following the society as religion (flightless bird) had been lost to jealousy and war (when in war, Federal makes money but people would be deprived) and freedom of speech (American mouth) being threatened by the dark side (might be killed anytime).

In the first chorus America was uncertain if she had founded a nation by following the society as religion was confined and attacked (by sciences) and those daring souls that had spoke up dead (big pill=dangerous drug, going down=swallowed).
Therefore the whole song is commenting about the cruelty of America behind the scenes, after devastating the past and now masked by the potency, wealth and advancement of technology.

Here's the lyrics:

Flightless Bird, American Mouth
Iron & Wine

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys

And when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair

Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Bond - Victory

thanks to angus i found this song...

phew.. damn beat today....
yepp, tmr is olvl chem spa yet im still roaming the city...
well, must try to not miss any opportunity to experience new stuffs...
this world is cruel, time is vicious...
happineess is transient....
some may disagree, but it is best being a kid, at least for me...
to be so carefree, so curious and unafraid...
maybe the older i am, the more coward i've become
to always think about consequences and stuffs like that
to always consider my image to the public...

well... as said, just living to die...
nothing last, so just cherish, treasure, smile and move on...

well.. life is indeed meaningless
we are not history, so just live ba, let fate decide..
but ofcoz must give your best larh...

that day dont know why told my dad about my 'ambition'...
which is being entertainer, counseller, actor.. stuffs like that, his reaction was negative le, but seriously, i appreciate these people alot, it is a form of art, a form of entertainment...

mrs ma showed a video of a boy dressed up as a girl dancing to 'nothing but you', she condemned him so bitterly... for goodness sake he was just entertaining people larh, must give credit to these people who boldly gave abit of laughter into others'lives... just like a clown, ever wondered how hard is it to kept faking a smile regardless of your mood and be humiliated for the sake of the laughter of the audience?

why must men be so unkind, condemning others, to stereotype and discriminate... to turn a cold shoulder... to hurt others... be abit more kind ba, the world would be a better place. To be a little more selfless and open up your heart, no need full, half door okay le...

Sometimes selfless to the point to go along with what others enjoy, dont give a gloomy face when friends take you to do something they like but you dont... well must be righteous ones larh.. I must give applause to sin5 to try to ice-skate though he got no interest at all... he do pick up fast, at least he didnt fell as much as me when i started to learn.. well my style larh, die die pia one.... but seriously now i could not learn a new skill as fast as last time.. as stated.. the older i am, the more coward i've become... ms hoori agrees too after sharing her experiences... damn i wonder what would i be in the future.. sigh...

wow, such a long post.. hehe i think i post more philosophical stuffs than francis... well enough thinking for today... bb... sharing about my horoscope:

此星座的人有坚韧的毅力，勤奋，遇难时有可自解厄的能力，亦可平安度过。缺点为有疑心，常会妨碍了命运。除了喜做善事，不问收获，不断付出，贡献，绝不可为贪小利而借钱给别人或借人钱财。
此星座的人易获得众人敬爱，也能蒙受长辈、上司的照顾和提携；个性恶嫉扬善，种善因得善果，有佛缘。有智慧和胆量，不怕吃苦，处事认真，能忍耐、天真幼稚，乐于助人，有“平稳”的潜能，具有稳定的行动力。

and the facebook :

PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY QUIZ

Dear Kyanta Yap, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.

You search for love... you’re a hopeless romantic and every time you enter a relationship, you give your all and believe “this is the One.”

You appreciate simple things in life... You hate complicating things that’s why you’re typically up-front in any aspect.

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.

You’re independent! You’re also risky just like the bajaken who sail in the vast and dangerous ocean to look for treasures!

Jinnai Tomonori - Driving School (eng subs)

What About Now OFFICIAL video

the first band i listened to.. is back again!

what now?
tuition....
venue: ang mo kio
fee: $300
insane...
crazy..
siao...

walao failed a stupid subject for 2 marks no need so kiasu can...
anyway like as if it would be a good use next time..

my ambition:
entertainer?
stuntman?
director?
clown?

does the above jobs requires academic excellence?? nope..
just need creativity and a heart that is willing to bring smiles joy and happiness to the dumb ruined world around... why cant everyone do what they like best and give all heart into it without the thing called 'human greed'..? stupid larh , then there wouldnt even have that murderer labelled 'money'... that weapon craved 'jealousy'... pity.. ashamed... speechless... hopefully breathless...

then what? the most painless death is old age... sigh.. just living to die lorh... if were to take out the 'human' factor, the world will prosper.. but vice versa is dooomed... what is this?? sigh..

Wushu Hub Reunion Dinner 2010 Teaser 1

A 2 hour production film for

Wushu Hub Reunion Dinner 2010 Teaser - 

for more details please visit the blog at www.thewushuhub.blogspot.com

30th Jan 2010, 6.30pm
Hotel Royal,

Directed/ Edited by Chen Kaiyu

Starring: ME as the person wants to get the Reunion dinner ticket,
Shenghui as the person who got the Reunion dinner ticket,
Johann as the person who don't know when is the Reunion Dinner date.
Wanyan as Fairy Godmother
Tai Fong as the ticket seller
Keming as the last person who gets the ticket.

Introducing Keming..... as the Chairman

well yesterday was whole loads of fun, though training was unusually tough for me, got muscle aches on the calves today... i think is the jumping part overstretch.. anyway got a new member, at least its secondary =) oh settled some stuffs in meeting for Reunion Dinner 2010, the video suppose to be done by rv and us -2 separate, but resulting to take the one supposedly trial run... wootz im the main character, was tired but pia-ed through haha... best meeting ever.. well if it is successful then it would be my best achievement so far coz i was only the sub-character in the infocomm promo video... not to mention passer by in the mediacorp drama... let see.. in gaming terms.... (kaya had gained 1 experience point) =) 

Crouching Tiger Hidden Entrance

哎，学习过程真累，尤其学业，是个漫长的道路，是个浪费时间，金钱，精神，睡眠与怒火的事业。为了学业，许多人身道路小小有趣的活动都必需抛开，为了学业，平添了许多不需要的伤感，增加了没相干的压力。。。说来说去也还是本本在绕着一个理由，我们人太愚蠢了，或许是上天最失败的作品啊！

right.. good things never last.. it was just yesterday night dad and i found a common topic to talk to.. some film name 雾里看花. Now what? 3 more hours and he had to see ms soon and retrieve that screwed up report card... kanasai stupid system language is to express oneself, so what if i fail english i could get my msg across, sigh... 

Math Call to 911

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do, and how we can do it better

Sir Ken Robinson: Do schools kill creativity?

brilliant

ELVIS - And I Love You So

Stand By Me (lyrics) - Ben E. King

明天會更好(約22年前的MV)

Monkey vs Dog

轉載影音原名為「好一對狗男女」, 但我認為應該叫「 狗的真情」

Banned Beer Commercial

The Non-blinking woman! Funny ad

wootz, survived first tok kong training of oishi, lesson learned: 2 sweets is not enough for his training haha... it's been long since training is tough to this extent, plus another 30 yuan di tiao for my nails, phew not 50... then badminton!! sian wrist pain since friday... oh, shixiong almost lost an eye coz he looked back to his teammate i think jiece zj... lesson learned: coach words are to be heed, dont care about what's behind haha. we played warkings after lunch, we used 14 cards excluding the 8 advisior cards, 2 lives and no terrain, haha sheng hui's quote: preparation phrase is longer than battling phrase haha... anyway it's been long since i posted, since i've been watching movies and singing using this comp, not much time online haha, zzz... sleepy liao go nap... hmm.. any homework?? guess not... hope not... time do fly, it's already eoy, much pia for eoy exams then party like crazy before we got no more time next year.. k thats all now

《站起来》

Argh srewed up big time for chem test yesterday, all the facts last min jumpled up... sian

school holidays are once again over.. sigh... bo bian, end of year coming, must focus studies liao. Looking forward once again to weekends... probably the best part of the holidays is JUMP! it was worth it the 40 bucks. Though repetitive, their stunts were amazing. Well, probably also it was because everyone was present, i mean the 5 of us. Reunion dinner sounds fun. I would be probably the program ic so kindda hoping would have a memorable dinner.

Rich son poor son

林志炫 庾澄慶 伍思凱 -「To Love Somebody」、「How Deep Is Your Love」

lkk (ling kong ki (jing)) mass version

cool eh?

小人物的心声-原版

omg i finally found this song!! heard when im young, cool !!!!

小人物的心声

也许我一个人
不能成就一番大事业
但我尽力贡献一份微薄的力量

也许我自己
不能发出万丈光和亮
但我能为斗室带来足够的光芒

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福
看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

it'a half an hour to teachers' day 1st sept, i did this dedication for wushuhub trainers:

我们又共同迎接到属于所有辛勤耕耘的老师们的节日. 在这个硕果累累、充满喜悦的金秋时节，我们用最真挚、最热忱的情感向所有的教练与助教、师兄们表示祝贺！教师节快乐！在此感谢他们一向以来对我们这些习武者的培育与 教导。就是因为他们的耐心指点与关怀，我们武轩才会有今日的成就。不但在武术方面或生活原理上，他们都尽心尽力教授我们，尤其强调“仁、义、礼、智、信、严、勇”这些武德，让我们不但学到中华武术的精髓，也拥有高尚的精神文明。因此，我再次的感谢所有的教练与助教、师兄们、教师节快乐！

梁文福 - 歷史考試前夕

wow today's wushu was rather tiring though it was suppose to be slack haha. Guess hercules would be just an ant when he's sick.. coupled with the rain, so sleepy. Had a feast in shixiong's house that lasted me probably till tmr. We helped him to fold the box for his upcoming game, warkings... we did 200 boxes in 3 hours, woohoo, 2 hours for the top, an hour for base... It was so cool, with air-con and background music, it's a luxury factory haha. Walked home with johann, half-walked... sigh, tomorrow teachers' day celebration, no relationship or whatsoever with sec teachers, just hope I could get to see pri teacher again haha. Probably couldnt catch them as my sch release at 3.. kns... probably teachers day would be for shixiongs ba, more worth it... that's about it...

Down with slight fever and heavy flue that cost me 3 packets of tissue in a day!!! i thought it would be total boredom at home but turns out rather not. Time flies.. esp when im singing haha... Doubt well enough for wushu ltr so probably skip, sunday then go, anyway oishi only comes on suns. Yesterday saw jo's class flag, was rather impressed he managed it almost alone. If it were to be me, I doubt i got the patience and calmness haha... Well, heard my class vc was throwing tantrum few days ago, not really surprising as she did not inform to do chores or such, anyway being vc like that one marh, bo bian... oh yea, tai's infocom club promo video finished (acting part), turn out a life cs gameplay. Not as proffesional I guess but definitely better than expected. Due to this I got a though of calling up mediacorp if there's any actor recruitings haha. Anyway in wushuhub blog jiaolian shared this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJr2BdUTYkU&feature=related haha yepp there're definitely better than us in terms of comedy, we must be better!! rofl, looking forward to jump and reunion dinner. Probably got more ideas of comical acts after the jump for the reunion dinner. Sounds like it's gonna be a hell lot of fun haha. The theme is 'live studio recording', so we're gonna dress up with stryofoam-bowl headphones and act as if it's a live recoding of a show. There will be an unique game (at least for me) where contestants will have to pick up prizes using 2 staffs, like the ufo catcher machine in arcades... hope the commitee and me could make it the ebst reunion dinner ever haha, well, may not be the best but memorable =D

黃小琥 - 不只是朋友

wootz today's minds cafe outing not bad, played a game where you're a famer trying to expand your field and bribing for water source to prevent drying up of it, was kindda biased against randy haha, juz game larh, he shoud be used to it haha, so evil, muahaha...

speaking of not so pissed off with weekdays, woots this weekdays are the best, monday no sch, after tue and wed, tmr e-learning day, fri sch till 12.30 though cca... cool fastest weekdays i ever experienced, went cca today too, beacame so guai now haha, slacked there lorh, aiya no matter how long i had not been training i could always catch up quickly, and then again same standard as last time... today tried to make a classmate jealous, haha he was dared or forced to tell a gurl he loves her, it took him more than 10mins to utter a word.. WORD !! thus i buay tahan went over there said 'watch and learn', then sing the last 2 lines of 'now and forever', gently touching her shoulder only, haha im good enough not to make her lean on my hands 45 degrees haha. hmm.. sunday no wushu again, sian, feel like going for another round of ktv... anyone wants?? haha.. oh yesterday went to meet sheng hui for late late lunch, and just when we were about to share a 2 bucks meal, zhi gao called... rejoice lol... went macd, haha he'd been always treating, so ps sia..

KTV on aug 9 was one hell of fun, especially during the last 1 min which we took advantage of the wont-cut-off-in-between system and chose a 13 min song, qing ge wang, videos are in youtube.com/kayaotah some that require editing were not uploaded yet.. songs sang that day was all high pitched unlike on july 17.

Tasted new dishes for dinner, and oh damn it's red bean soup again, something i struggled when grandma cooked long time ago, not as jialat lehh but yeah.. im not gobbling it up.. went pools till midnight, slept at 3.30 due to the slow uploading speed, which in the end failed 3 times....

woke at 6.30 today, was so bored that i asked johann to join shixiong for badminton with his friends. It's been long time since i had a sort-of-proper match, cca sucks, i can guarrentee a match with any badminton player could make me improve more than 3 hours in cca... it's so bored, and i dont really like the people there anyway..

sigh holidays are over again, jiayou ba, 4 more days before next, did majority of my homeworks,cool eh, except yip's, left in sch haha. this coming sunday no wushu, wonder if there are any plans, haha. Actualli im starting to feel not-so-pissed with weekdays, at least at the very basic level weekdays allow me to save up for weekends, and ofcoz the most usual one is to study hard for future, im kindda lucky to be in peace in class except yip's. but still nothing could change the fact that weekends are always faster... zoom.. bang.. argh... baika liao, thats why weekdays so slow.. haha i know it's lame

its approx 88 hours to KTV... yet life is tooo bored for me, one thing for sure is that I will strive to be stunt entertainer like jackie, it will make life more interesting by the thrills, men are young ones, so therefore when your physical ability has not worn off, anything is possible, at least have the experience of the thrill before handicapped or ded; and meaningful to bring smiles to people, it just takes a facial expression and action to create a smile that is rather worthwhile, well, at least better than seeing fucking chao bin face and those emo expressions. And I will remember to praise jiaolian if I kena golden horse award haha. KNS just now sms cheuck for chatting, topic is yip again, walao he revolves around our hatred sia. He punished a guy just because he off the air-con and that guy rolled up his pants, walao eh, c'mon larh why cant teachers not find trouble, if student didnt create trouble or disturb lesson then dont care larh, not ur children also, so KPO... argh.. cant wait so grown up, though more stress but when it is holiday, it's FREEDOM... sigh bo bian... jy ba..

Today rushed to school, couldnt get up haha, anyway went well through the day, peaceful until yip came at our FREE PERIOD !! lol haha walao I gave him wrong worksheet then he said I irresponsible and wanna call parent, lol call ba, sometimes when something is done repetitively it will reverse the effect, anyway was writing lyrics in class with sheng hui help by sms-ing haha, kns kept forgetting lyrics of songs, oh, SaD is at my blog!! must refrain using three letter poem (san zi jing) le, haha good news today, KTV is open on 9 Aug !! yippee.. sheng hui challenged to not look at the screen while singing blue pocelain (qing hua ci) like we did last time for Yuan Zhou Gao Fei, I'm not challenging with him though, though I should be can de. Muahaha they will suffer once more under my horrifying voice, hope it's better than last time ba, i will improve in 10 years time dont worry... It's just 10 short years

wakao i realise the only problem im facing in school is amaths, yip class, knn larh so much homework how to do finish, who got mood do sia other subjects homework at most drag a week hand up, amaths will drag months lorh, wapiang lehh from start of year parent nag me on amaths onli, suay sia kena this yip, yap decendance got this type of think-he-good-guy fella is a disgrace sia, so kpo ppl never disturb his lesson also kao pei kao bu, i not like ryan marcus mikhail albertus right? somemore got a few times is i miracly keen to listen, then he buay song me say i lean on the wall too relax, f him sia what's his prob, then that time talk talk nicely suddenly shout, think his voice great arh? is i dont wanna shout onli lorh, stupid fag why had i say good things about him last time, i was a dumb asshole lorh, i was thinking lehh, im not the most jialat one, there are more people in the world more jialat, but why god never help them or something, must bare so much trouble then maybe someday finally something good appear, then i think the world has change, so many unfairness and crap. Human to human conversations are containing more and more pricks in the ear stuffs, and the punishment of laws are sometimes too extreme. sigh... still wondering.. am i the odd one out in the world...

wlao now friday nid go cca, stupid sia knn 12.30 to 3.30 cant do much, then 3 hours of sitting stare blank just so they say u are there for training, sibei sian wad screw up system is that sia, buay tahan, then parent so kiasu must get the 2 points for o level thing, wpiang lehh, friday suppose to be high de lorh, wkao fking cca...

wah sibei sian, kena yip-ed, this time dad not so flared, but come on larh im just sleeping in class for the first time in half a year unlike when in sec 1 & 2, understood the test paper he gave, did not disturb his lessons, walao so kao pei kao bu lorh, ka ni na then mentioned about cca he remembered me, eh, where got people join cca but cant play wholeheartedly, everytime court kena taken, then do boring drills, sibei sian lehh, jiak pa eng bo tai ji zuo come find trouble. alot of time he say me i give him face never talk back liao lehh, ccb think he lao tse then ll very shuang larh, unlucky me still said he is a good teacher, like must make my family tear into pieces then content. Sigh nvm liao larh complain so much also can do nothing

不要认为自己没有用

sigh, bo bian, the sky seem so mesmorising in school

Karaoke Birthday Party 2009 - peng you

yesterday had lots of fun in karaoke. it's only 5 bucks for 5 hours! I bought come 1.5 coke there, and that lasted whole day. My best birthday party I think, since probably young, it is fun, memorable, cheap. Oh I just found out how great sx voice is, when I stepped into the room I thought it was the MV but turn out it was sx, super beautiful. Followed by the 2 vegetarian girl chenxi and huizhen, ans sin5 with some songs. Damn I forgot lyrics for yuan zou gao fei, sian disgraced... Had a challenge to not see TV to sing whole song, I lost out haha.. Anyway there was a cake surprisingly again, and present from all of them, drunken master original copy!! I never thought that is still available on Earth lol... Oh most ironicly failed song is ji pa ban, noone knows how to sing, I thought there's experts.... 

2nd post of the day, nothing to do, still kindda reluctant to accpet the fact that weekend passed too quickly, haha anyway, listening to 弯弯的月亮, one of my childhood. Just noticed that I forgot everything and anything about my life before primary 3 except for musics, the tunes are vivid in my head, just that I couldnt remember a word in the lyrics nor title... Feel rather blissful listening to these songs, went to a tagging spree on rv blog with shen hui, haha for a while only, scared later hurt relationship, then also went to sheng hui blog, tagged too, he mentioned about real happiness, haha, no such thing, it differ for different people, came to think of it I also wondering whats mine... haha, coz I have not felt a very gratifying joy, but it is probably greed that amde me want to have more fun haha... but rather music probably stands the most probability of my true happiness rather than others... bored... nothing to do le, thats all folks...

argh... so fast weekend had flung, it was just Friday when I was on cloud nine, elated that weekdays had passed, time had went too fast for me to even enjoy the weekend, just a tuition, pools and usual wushu and 3 days had passed, arghhh… would be again counting down to next friday, sigh, 为什么甜蜜的梦容易醒? The moment the word school haunts my head mood just went sibei sian, it isnt traumatizing nor devastating but I seriously hated school, in school, 多少的日子里总是一个人面对着天空发呆? almost allt he time leh, only sometimes miracle happened and I listened attentively to those lullaby experts haha.... Sigh, anyway sat after tuition went pools with weiliang, jiece zhu jiao and sx, we played a nothing-else-to-do game, jc zj and sx think of a number 1-15, and the player who scored in that gets 5 points, however if you scored other balls instead of the number minus 1 point and obtain a clue... I won the last game haha... Interesting eh? Today kena yuan di tiao 50=35, I actually did it all, surprisingly, long long time ago I used to always slacked at least 5-10 of them, got the camp pics and vids from sx by tai's hard drive... sx also showed his overseas trip video, made me wanna grow up soon so could have more freedom haha, then there would be no more nags of getting home early or such... sigh... 盼望着假期, 盼望着明天, 盼望着长大的童年

This is just for fun joy laughter, no offence to anyone...
Parody of pretty woman - roy orbison, done by me:

Scary woman, walking down the street
Scary woman, is gonna hunt for me
Scary woman, I’m afraid of you
You’re not the truth
No one could aim as good as you….

Mercy…

Scary woman, wont you pardon be
Scary woman, point it away from me
Scary woman, the knife is as sharp as it can be
And the Tommy and DE

Brr….

Scary woman, stop a while
Scary woman, talk a while
Scary woman give your arms to me

Scary woman nonono
Scary woman look else where
Scary woman please stop hunting me

Cause I’m tired
I couldn’t hide
Go prey on others
They’re worth a try….

Scary woman, please say goodbye
Scary woman, I don’t want to die
Scary woman, please go away
If you would just say ok…
Guess I’ll be save for the day
Then I will zao far far
But wait, what do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Nooo!! She’s walking back to me!!
Ohhh nooo, scary woman…

Nothing much going on even since the performance, no events nor activities coming up except of ofcoz my birthday on 17/7, planned a karaoke party since we had never tried, hoping more people to come to ensure at least 2 singers every song. By ten rules are simple, just have fun regardless sing well or not =) It would be my best birthday party ever if everyone cooperate to sing =) Was discussing about the reunion dinner, I kindda keen to take up the task, but I dont want be chairman coz scared screwed up or something, so promised that if sheng hui take up the post I'll be part of commitee no matter what post they want me to be. First reason for me to challenge is that I never organised any big events before, secondly it has been few years without reunion dinner, lastly I'm bored and want to have a not-so-easy, not-so-hard mission to accomplish haha...

these few days are lots of fun. Tue we were suppose to train sanjiegun but huizhen qiteng couldnt make it, it turned out us playing twister with 9 squares made by our sanjiegun. Wed went down bedok cc to finally train, friday too but at elias park cc. After the training on friday we went to eat supper with sx and weisiang sx, first time trying sambal kangkong, not bad lehh, we shared an 8 bucks fried rice. It was close to midnight, mrt service had ended, so as the bus, so we sat 17 to bedok instead, then me and johann walked home, singing in our way till 3, supper fun. Woke at 9.30 the next day, I though I was the latest but the many woke up 11-12... wah can sleep so much... ate a fast regretted lunch and met up with johann go tai house slacked till meeting time 2 at bedok cc. Helped out with loading the platform into the lorry, they sat lorry for the first time therefore excited haha, that made my leg suan. Slacked quite alot till pur performance, dinner was lousy compared to the few other times we went to. Thats why regretted eating the quick lunch, should eat till bloated. So again supper at kfc and went home by bus.... Performance time my sanjiegun didnt hit me at all, everything is good but the hot jacket that drained my energy away, hand and leg pain though used to it, a part where I did not grab my sanjiegun fast enough and the ending part which memory failed me... Heard that many said we were good so.... yepps good job me and the rest of the group... Feel like continue on sanjiegun and go for next year's nationals...

Though I might not have such a great future, it will not be devoured by darkness alone, I dont think you should care much about my life, despite my own good, your son will have his own luck, or bad luck, I might not even have to inherrit your properties, I believe in myself that I can still survive with children of my own, with achievements and fruitful life though not as great. 

First day of camp Wushu Hub photo

First arrangement of tents

It's time for Wushu Hub Idol Group!!

Although it's some kind of training, we had fun

'Please teach my mantis fist!'

SLAMMED !! Ouch that hurts !

Jiao Lian, Jie Ce ZJ, Xiang Qi ZJ as judges

Paula, Simon, Randy

Sad for MJ who died yesterday at the age of 50, of cardiac attack, rest in peace. As many should agree too, he had too much operations, i prefer his former looks... Anyway, yesterday went bbq with rv people, quite as dead, in the end me and sheng hui entertained them, with brief sparring and old songs, just sitting around and sing is my style, though it gets boring when u dont know some of the songs haha, i think today night training, or maybe not if sheng hui cant

martial arts performance "JUMP"

lol suddenly all the childhood songs flooded my head.. again, this time chinese...

妹妹背着洋娃娃
走到花园来看花
娃娃哭了叫妈妈
树上小鸟笑哈哈

蓝蓝的天空银河里
有只小白船
船上有棵桂花树
白兔在游玩
浆儿浆儿看不见
船上也没帆
飘呀飘呀飘向西天

三轮车跑的快
上面坐个老太太
要五毛
给一块
你说奇怪不奇怪

Haha, feeling young again?? lol... sigh, san jie gun performance coming, must jiayou, lol wushuhub blog so lively, especially because of oishi fan club haha, i saw 'jump' the advertisement, not bad sia I wanna watch...

 first.. lets post first day of camp

Jo came met in my place at 9, when to pasir ris macd to meet the rest. Bought drinks then bad news came, the bunks are out of bounds, so we decided to stay until sports shop opened at 11, yepp, all of us, wx plus yuan yun and weeseng. Wah shuang sia the feeling, all tua pai walked in. Anyway when we reached they havent even start any programme. Then we gathered to play wacho for ice breaking, I kena forfeit with 3 others including jo. In the end sang 'you are my sunshine' with me leading muahaha. Then broke up into our camp groups, decided my group name to be 'toast', then the rest were 'nameless', 'cj7', 'number 3' and 'what'. After that have lunch, shift camp site, wah hiong arh walked at least 2km under the hot sun with so many things to carry, lucky a trolley came, i offered to push coz pushing better than carrying. So what's the first activity?? I think it's water bomb, my group allianced with munber 3 so can all out bombing each other so we ciould have more water bombs, aiya all so keen to throw in the end being the last group obviously have the lessest water collected haha. Oh ya psps before that was pitch tent, bedok cc members helped carrying them from jiaolian's car. Back to the water bomb, last part changed orders, everyone is free to throw water bombs to ting sheng zhu jiao, wah, everyone were into it. Ting sheng hid in the pavallion as it is out of bounds for wet activities. Climax came when jie ce zhu jiao said 'when im wet i can do anything!!', and he suicided with ting sheng haha, super funny. Oh, first deduction of points came when me and guo dong both threw water bomb to ting sheng after when they say stop activity ahha, im actually okay with it, but my group members so buay song de, sian bo bian, anyway i had fun haha, camp if for u to have fun not to win lol. Then it is training part, kindda slack, watch video and guess the tao lu.  Due to night blindness and myopic eyes couldnt really see properly, then when im in front couldnt catch the weapon the demonstrator is holding, sian haha, there's a dog fist, no one was able to answer so I anyhow shout out crab, lobster, elephant haha... Oh, another fun part, wushu hub idol, we were taught 3 moves from mantis fist and we were suppose to come out with a story with few keywords as the guiding story line. my group was the first to finish planning, coz it's all depending on the actors, me as main protagonist, haha I think my group was the most entertaining besides number 3 when the person really went to knock down the guy. But we got last larh coz only me talking, 2 rocks, 2 trees, a narrator which only said one line, a praying mantis... haha. Jiaolian, xinag qi zhu jao and jie ce zhu jiao were acting simon paula randy, very entertaining too. Oh, before that was dinner, and after that was supper, followed my night guard duty. We were the 3rd shift, 3am-4am - the most tiring one as we have to wake and then sleep again. What's worst? After our shift they cancelled the thing... anyway, couldnt really sleep coz it was hot inside the tent, so when tai went for duty me and jo slept with out heads sticking out the tent. When it was my duty I noticed something, first 5 mins for the lights out, all tents were closed, but in the middle of the night all but 1 were open. So.. not only I couldnt handle the heat, almost everyone else couldnt too. Haha the commitees closed one eyes de, coz me and jo kept going toilet, obviously to hang out and talk... our reason if always the same, 'he wanna shit then I wanna shit'... lol..  Well, that first day...

Back from Wushu Camp, now with sleepy eyes resting to have a shower before going to sleep. Slept quite little at the camp due to the change of camp venue. The bunks are ofb due to the h1n1 thing, sian. To we were sleeping in tents under the stars... walao freaking hot!!!! First night couldn't sleep, until I decided to stick our heads out for the tent, second night slept at the pavallion under weisiang shixiong's hammock. Overall the camp was memorable and enjoyalble, well, at least the sparring session. I think this camp strenghten our organisation bonding rather than bonding with other organisation, I can savely say 80% for the talks are to members of our BCC. Oh, got the most entertaining boy trainee award haha. I just wanna have fun =D which then led my team to minus 50 marks coz I splashed a water bomb on tingsheng zhujiao with guodong. Frankly, my team was dead, all so reluctant to be hyper and have fun. Well, if only heaven allow bcc to be in same group, we'll turn the camp upside down haha!! with me deducting our score and sheng hui trying to make it back to 0. Further detals to be blogger when have time. Anyway even though reluctant, our group get things done pretty afst, esp the skit, our team is all based on own creativity, little planned, few rehearsed. Training part of the camp, limbs are pretty much seasoned haha.  

OFF to my first wushu camp... in 1 hour's!!

wow, packed all the wushu camp things in a 50*20*20 bag plus my usual slingbag, except the 1L bottle which im gonna buy tomorrow. Below is the list:

2 Wushu Tee
Wristband
Belt
2 Dark colored Tee
Set of sleeping clothes
¾ pants
2 track pants
4 shorts
Slipper
Torchlight
2 Towels (bath+sweat)
4 Undies
4 Socks
Specs
Insect Repellent
Metal plate + Utensils
Thermometer

Well, if not enough will just have to result in beg steal or borrow, so heck care about those sleeping bags rags etc...  anyway life will always find a way. Let's hope it would be a cool and enjoyable camp!! 

Were heading for something~
Somewhere Ive never been~
Sometimes I am frightened
But Im ready to learn~
Of the power of love!

I like the music, and the emotion of the way celine sang, felt so strong, so much gusto. Well, still karaoke-ing alone haha, wondering how is it possible for someone to dislike singing haha, guess humans are different. Suddenly a thought emerged, what would my girl be like. Someone that loves singing and dont mind mine, probably someone oldies. So rare haha, someone like me so rare to find, follow trend is a good path for finding a girl now haha, but still 10 years' business so... enjoy while you can, I mean 'I'. Besides this song was listening to kiddie songs god knows why, from 'raindrps keep falling' to 'small world' then 'sing' and 'i'd liek to teach the world to sing'. Again bored today, yesterday training was so slack, talked to an ex-san jie gun girl, I like her keeping style, I cant seem to keept the san jie gun haha. Learnt that from wu hua could turn into helicopter without stopping, thanks to jo. Now looking forward to cooller moves, hope wei siang sx come tmr. Btw yesterday was miracle, due to yin qi getting rashes, jiao lian released us early, VERY EARLY,we had time to go white sands venture and eat before going home. Oh yea, at the 7-11 at eunos mrt, we bought a big gulp thinking that we could pay using ez-link, but the new ez-link was not accepted and we are cashless, haha so embarrassing. Well, these are probably all, stay tuned for god knows what coming up next....

I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing

I'd like to teach the world to sing

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow-white turtle doves

Chorus:
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

I'd like to see the world for once
(Let the world sing today)
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land

That's the song I hear
(That's the song I hear)
Let the world sing today
(Let the whole wide world keep singing)
A song of peace that echoes on
And never goes away

Imagine

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Yo blog!... 

nothing to do so decided to blog, let's start on Friday, Amaths in the morning, was late half an hour yet nothing happened, there was a queue to say sorry to mr yip, lol, i just cut all the way in front bowed to him and that's it. Furthermore, guess what, lesson has not started! Spent the next half an hour scolding, haha as usual. 

Sunday, wushu as usual, then went to tai's house, we played monopoly, and something amazing happened, 3 of us in the later game ganged tai, he had to go through half board of horror and is almost impossible for him to not lose any money, yet he did it, gaining money instead! unbelievable! then basketball awhile and go home.

Monday went badminton with them, at night train with jo at his carpark. 

Tue went to dentist, checking for braces, well, the dentist said braces might not be the best option for my teeth so might result in his method, the one overlaping my teeth with fake teeth so that it would look better.

Wed watched the Monster vs Aliens 3D, not worth the $10 but quite okay, although not as good as spy kids 3D, then me and jo went back to the carpark again. He is one who I could feel comfortable complaining my life to haha. As listeners, both me and him normally just shut up and listen to people, we seldom talk heart to heart to others. Thanks Jo for being a great listener haha. 

Yesterday Sheng hui came as he got nothing to do, Tai followed by too, we played risk.. using coins, shells and papers as I only have the board. Will post up the photos if time allows me to, anyway probably tai win, it was quite fun, at least to me as I had never played my risk board before haha. Finally used!

Today Amaths in the morning, this time late by an hour, nothing hapopened again miraculously, luckily did my homework, although not all, I school reopen then see my mood haha, skipped CCA, seriously no point going, no court to play, even if have it would probably be shared with alot of people. Going training tonight as I dont really feel right to keep skipping, there are no plans for any outings and I would be bored at home anyway. Nothing to do now, karaoke-ing through haha. Speaking of this, Tai asked if someday we were to karaoke will each of us accept, I was amazed Tai asked this, Sin5 said no, Jo... I thought he would, but the moment my name is mentioned he said no, felt no fucked, lol just smsed him asking if he want to come, nothing to do I joked to join me singing, he said he rather die of boredom, fuck larh just hope he's kidding. Argh drop the topic, made me feel agitated, disapointed, heart broken and fumed... Resume in singing... da-da

bored these days, slacking through except for san jie gun, i wanna master those cool moves. installed monopoly pc, risk2 pc and game of life pc coz not addictive + small space + offline games. have to wait for friday before hanging out with wx again, 3A blog have been created, cool haha, made a promise to mum that i would write an essay a week so i dont have to sign up for the tuition, waste of money time energy and chance, yepp, chance coz who knows in those hours i might be doing something great. lazy post last weekend's event so stay tuned...

sian, past few days revolves around my failed english for MYE, mum kept asking around for tuition and nagging to study english, dad kept nagging to read newspaper, sian lehh, esp mum, everytime mention back english is important, cannot fail, isnt it indirectly kaopei my failure, yesterday suppose to go down to the multistory carpark beside jo's house to train three section staff but mum forbid coz monday train until very late, sian, they both kindda disagree with learning it, what's their problem sia, they got nothing to say, I bought it my own. wound still hurts upon big pressure, just have to bandage it if I were to train. I think I use too much cash, 3 day streak of mind's cafe, 2 days streak of fast food lunch, owed $ like crazy, 20 to sx, 10 to tai, 5 to alvin tan, but still got people owe me total of 10, sigh, if i were a rich man....

1. Put iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! Unless karaoke song (no words) or intrumental

Q.How does the world see me?
Together Forever – Rick Asley

Q.Will i have a happy life?
I’ve been waiting for you – Guys Next Door… so if you don’t show up I’d be in sorrow forever?!?!

Q.What do my friends really think of me?
Ray of light - Madona

Q.Do people secretly lust after you?
Try again - Westlife… no link

Q.How can i make myself happy?
Reason – Hoobastank… 

Q.What can i do with my life?
Reach – S Club 7… reach for what??

Q.Will I ever have children?
Hotel California – Eagles… 2nd time appear on quiz

Q.What is some good advice for me?
Before he cheats – Carie Underwood… Im gonna get a girlfriend so heck care

Q.How will I be remembered?
Seasons in the sun - Westlife

Q.What is my signature dancing song?
Billie Jean – MJ… I cant even Moonwalk lol

Q.What do i think my current theme song is?
Endless Love – Lionel Richie & Diana Rose… I don’t have one to start with sob sob

Q.What does everyone think my current theme song is?
I am your angel – Celine Dion… sure I am!

Q.What song will play at my funeral
Emotion – Barry Gibb & Samatha… 

Q.What sort of men/women do i like?
Hero – Erique… Superwoman?? That would be cool

Q.What is my day going to be like?
Right here waiting – Richard

Aww Susan lost her first place to diversity, I must admit that diversity and flawless does really have telent, but I think Susan should get the chance to be the winner, anyway, not really like Hollie, I dont really like her voice, prefer connie from previous bgt. By the way, I think Susan audition is better than the final one, she should continue practising and maybe she could take over elian page or  actresses for fantine.

Yesterday went minds cafe 3rd in the row, Friday went with tai, boon yang and yimei, some games could be more fun if they could be more enthu, Sat went with shixiong, jie ce zhu jiao, sheng hui and qi teng, very fun, especially the last saboteur games where qi teng trusted 2 wrong people, and jie ce which semmed to be helping shixiong turns out to be shixiong's rival haha. Yesterday went playing almost the same few games we played,  there's a game where if your number is rolled by the dice, u win the amount of gold, then sheng hui got a card which could steal 4 golds whenever i could earn, was quite pissed off, so dorminating lorh, but I emerge winner surprisingly. Played extension of Citadel, as usual kindda sucked at that game, managed to be not last, good achievement rofl.

Yesterday morning wushu received my three section staff, first training on it, the shixiong was known for his fierce training and vulgarity but he seemed fine on first meet. Handling it was something at first but kindda get hang of it though it scaped off a bit of my skin. Gonna train today night too, hopefully advances quick and learn some cool moves with it. 

Sigh gonna go polyclinic check up for braces I think, somewhere 2pm, after that probably hunt presents for sheng hui to his friend, then to Johann's house for the three section staff training.

couldnt sleep, or should i say no mood to sleep, drankly, i cried, 2nd consecutive day, dont know why tears just soaked my eyes. it's about studies again, i think, cant really remember how it started, was watching tv happily then mentioned english again. didnt really catch his words but the word 'childish' kindda triggered the beast inside me. yesterday too was the same problem. he said i played too much games, i felt deeply hurt as compared to others, i am like half of them, many had comlained the devoid house i have, not much online gamesnor board games. i felt insulted when they said those words, and have always hoped for someone to cheer me up, since i dont know when. well, he said because of games i write fantasy stories, unrealistic. i must admit i dont read alot of books thus unable to come up with nice stories, but, sigh, to me his words are like saying im not realistic at all, which is crap, who do he think am i? today did not wish to quarel, but seriously, the constant mentioning of past mistakes mkaes me so pissed and therefre flared up. as a human, not dogs or cats (which i believe they will too), we feel guilty of our mistakes, so why mentioning repetively, like as if purposely wanna create quarel. so i said that he had never congratulate me for anything this year, all i remember was the time he said my improvement at piano was good, i was so hoping they would congrts we when i got 82 for emaths as 3D had only 1 passes, but yet they did not, therefore decided not to tell them the rest of the marks. then on parents teacher meet, my life is doomed. i do appreciate how to improve on my studies, but not critisising old mistakes. until now, i think i've lost quite a number of valuables, but think again, each time i lost, it would be an apoclayspe, so the next time lost something it would be like, so what, sooner or later also kena. i dont believe small bad lucks would lessen the huge misfortune lies ahead, shixiong is wrong. im weird i know, i yearn for a family time where there is a common topic besides stocks and studies, maybe family games and such, or picnic etc. this would probably sound insane to most haha. sigh, hope my own family would be a better place. i dont know, my parents seemed to have hih expectations, im just not up to the challenge, cant blame me, and he said it himself, all this is for my future, to earn big $$. seriously, $ had deprived children. example, for many, because of the good for child's future, some parents give ever-going tuition, for the rich, endless toys, spoiling them. are they really happy? society is shit, i just could not take it anymore, i dont really know how to explain, but i had this suffocation in me, like i want to release all my strength, and become violent and brutal, weird and scary feeling... sigh, well, blame my luck, i've got nothing to say.  someties i really feel like trying what is life without home, the door is always open as he said. blame me for a big stomach, doubt i can survive a day. maybe family isnt a good choice, maybe 'home' is a better description, get the meaning? in family, there are bonds, communications and faith, in home, there is only shelter, place to sleep and food. i really doubt my life would have a purpose, but suicidal isnt a wise way to find out, sadly...

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!

exams are over, yet I got nothing to do still, school's back to normal except for the study part, rot through the days Im bored. My poker was confiscated by a bitch, wth I lent to a friend, they played so long didnt get caught, I was just playing my first round she came and confiscated them, fuck larh blinded bitch no one told me cannot play. 

got bored and pissed, that was yesterday, monday released results and got quite disapointed, failed eng yet do well in chinese, opposite of CA, my sciences are borderline, should be dropping soon ba, try my best for next half year lorh, but prefer to drop now if they offer, then get good grades and be happy and work hard happily ever after lol. I dont know, if eoy screwed then no mood to study lehh... I work for reward, reward for work, well at least thats one of the guiding principle of govenance. SS was glad I passed as I never study at all, all I study was sciences. Lit still sucked, 30/50.  Interesting subject, stupid student haha, really lorh learn about people, can take psychological course in TP, although future job kindda.. erm... limited... Anyway emaths get 82 when 3C highest 74, 3D 1 passes only, yet parents still not pleased with the results, siao... amaths did not get A as expected, stupid signs lost me my As. 

Well, today... no PE, slacked in class, as usual singing and feeling damn bored, reccess, then chem lesson broke a chair, and sang more, chi lesson went over next door played dou di zu with ben and ming xin, lol but yea got nothing to do. Then went back to class, split my PE pants while jumping across legs and under legs, then assembly, apparently all eyes were on few of us who were late, few sec of the centre-of-attention feeling, it feels good... haha, combine humans, ss and lit in our class only me and Evelyn, screwed the average score badly as I got a C5 but she got an A2, lowering the average score to 3.5, just nice school's target, haha. Sigh, work harder lorh. 

Was gonna swim at 5 today but gambled at alvin's house instead, 10 bucks lost, probably biggest loss ever but well, no harsh feelings they are just for the sake of fun joy laughter. In the end due to rushing kindda rash and all-in with triples, lost to an straight sadly, furthermore, decided not to swim in the end. Do not want zijian to get into trouble with his strict parents. well, sometimes swimming could help kill time, and the feeling of it is great, floating like in heaven, somewhat free, diving here and there, and kindda calm too despite the crowd. But seriously, the water IS SO FREAKING HOT !!!! anyway hope we going to minds cafe, with shixiong ofcoz or would be somewhat unenjoyable... thats all folks

ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry wanted to vent fustration