Hmm, sometimes, I feel that the few most powerful things in life are always double-edged. For example, knowledge. The reason of knowledge, of having knowledge, is to so that we know more about the world and the diversities around us, but there will always be people who use these knowledge to ruin the world. Another example is water. As a chinese saying, 水能载舟亦能覆舟, as much as water have the capability to float the boat, it can be the one who sink it as well.

Similarly, this is what happens, some person has been joining us and having fun for the past few church activities, and this person, I personally felt, has just began to open up to us and mingle with us. However, since this person would now have 4 cells, my own cell leader suggests that the person should just stick to one and sink the roots.

As such, I dont know, I really feel bad, I feel... cynical, doubtful.

Seriously, the very thing that had pulled people together, for a good cause, as ants sticking together to brace through floods and storms on the banyan leave, is the reason why some people will feel awkward together, the reason of a hindrance to social interaction, as we can see from another church where since i was "new", there are 2 cells in a tug of war of me. Either way told them I was just a visitor.

Sigh. So yea, I really feel the song: power of your name, as it shouts,

I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name

I saw some powerful changes in the lives of people by joining the xtianity movement, I saw powerful bonds forged like a piece of armor that could withstand the spears of a thousand armies. I saw hope of humanity, for it's able to harness up and save those clinging on the tip of the cliff with an index finger.

So why? why? why just because a member is from other church, or from other cell, or from somewhere else, to be restricted to join church activities, we are after all, one human race, serving the kingdom of heaven, not the church, we grow, through own relationship and connection with God, that cells are merely to help those without community to mingle around and have support as they grow, but the ones capable of having multiple cells shouldnt be restricted to have just one, for no one has decreed that an army of God, just like standard army, cannot join other platoons, we have a common goal, why choose to reach it own your own?

Pure dumb, pure ridicule. Who in the world knows best what the voice ask that armyboy to do? to go? Who decides the future? And if we were not meant to know, why make it awkward, treat every brothers and sisters well, for on this journey, you wont even know if there are Judases lurking around, for on this journey, we shall reach it hand in hand, why the need to "label" ourselves? through possessing identity, it builds walls around us, to be no longer reach out to lost lambs and helping them. As such, these poor people, will belong to nowhere, and unable to fully maximize the potential. Please larh, 20 or 30 years, in midst, I believe all cells, would have movement of cell members and faith.

We should really...... after all..... look beyond religion

Its past midnight again, 2am... Cant sleep as usual, ever since my body clock was screwed up. Oh well, tomorrow, as in tue, supposed to have a big plan to go eat burger since I have coupons. It would have been at toa payoh, 6 of us, KY would have joined us, then off to my house to eat log cakes. However, sadly, unfortunately, Ky was down with cough again. Sigh, so vulnerable, just like lin. Sigh.

So this would be the most complete xmas so far. I spent this festive season with lots of groups of friends, solid rock cell, pop cell, scc alumnis, cheuck, wx first class and potentially joel sim and zkzj and toasted group.

Well Jo mentioned once to me on, that we sort of ceased to talk anymore, but rather crap around. Thinking back how I used to find him to talk 50% of things out, now lesser and lesser. But thinking back, I also mentioned to Tai before, that the reason is that Jo had a personality change during o lvls, and a little "mr. know everything" attitude as he talk. Which now should no longer have, but previously this turns away people. Perhaps due to academy stress, also perhaps he rather not exposed to the world enough, also perhaps too many people in his life finding him for listener. So I also realized ofcoz our relationship was stagnant, so I told him frankly not to get jealous of my involvement with other people. I mean 4 of us had gone through much, had peak of our bonds, have gone through disputes and conflicts too, yet still remain close, thats how we lasted through the tests of time. So occasionally, I might expand my involvement, just as how Kaya spreads =) so dont mind me.

That was also the 2nd time I did not send KY home, as I was afraid to miss xmas with them. Sometimes, really, I wished I could be split into different parts to make my relationship with people around me complete, but that would defeat the purpose of relationship, since you can be everywhere everytime, there isnt any quality time anymore, and isnt any worthy sacrifice or wise decisions.

Then appeared he is sick again. Sometimes he really reminds me of myself, how vulnerable was my body then too, towards virus and bacteria, and how much perseverance we had last time, where I was a yes man as long as my both legs are still in contact with ground. They say there are many mirrors in our lives, physical mirrors could let us see our appearances, history as mirrors, could teach us the future through our past, friends as our mirrors, could reflect on our character. 以銅為鏡， 可以正衣冠。 以古為鏡， 可以知興替。 以友為鏡， 可以明得失。 Perhaps, these are the few most important mirrors in my lives, though he is one under construction I suppose. I told my parents about the few log cakes I sponsored and etc, as usual they kindda frown upon the idea but well, this is a generation kind of thing I guess, as SX and KG used to subsidize and sponsor us last time, it's time where we assume their roles and pay it forward to the next generation, this is where social support came in, under emotional and financial support. As most seniors do, we really hope that the person we are cultivating will grow up strong one day, and bear fruits for the next and next generations. Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever. The culture prevails, hopefully. Sometimes, I wished I could have a bro that I could take care of, or a bigger one that could nag me. Sigh.

A song reached me that day at City Harvest, here's a verse I like:
If you have some questions
In the corners of your mind,
Traces of discouragement,
The peace you cannot find,
Reflections of your past,
Seem to face you everyday,
But this one thing I do know,
That Jesus is the way.

Sometimes, I believe the success of Christianity is to give believers confidence and trust in the Almighty one, that we have the courage and morale to go on. I came across this quote: There are times when you don't feel good yet you simply can't pin down what you don't feel good about. Yes it's so true, Ive been feeling weird lately but just couldnt really tell what was it. A sort of emptiness, yet unsure what is it, cant be friends, cant be material wealth, perhaps fear of future? perhaps lack of spiritual faith? Im just lost in the midst of lost.

Anyway, Im suspecting something in someone's life, gonna slowly figure out the puzzle again.

On 23rd Dec, I finally decided to have a day off, off from scc, for the 2 days in a row having to sleep few hours to meet them at 7am were really..... out of my ordinary mind (means not exactly out of my mind haha). So anyway, followed up a little on school work, and the project, then went to print 10 sets of the survey for auntie imm to snowball around. Halfway, had a brief chat and follow up at the block 123 bubble tea shop, and clear my debts. Then, I went to repair my bike, with an expensive fee of 15 bucks, before heading to scc to fetch them.

At the scc had a emotional farewell I guess, Im really regretful not being able to understand alvin's sorrow since he did not open up, hopefully not because of me cuz I wouldnt wanna get involved, just like previous incident lucky lele was okay in the end with me =D.

So yes Jorgen, Jewel, KY, Qin Da and I went to Bras Basah to fetch Amanda, and then we went to Lau Par Sat at Raffles for supper. Along the way we trolled Qin Da, it was sooooo fun~!

Basically we gave Qin Da a random friend's number to act as Girl A, so Qin Da was like trying to find out if Girl A likes him by acting as Qin Da's friend. So we puppet that guy to play along with him haha, in the end we twisted it to say that the Girl A was actually Girl B, having secret crush on Qin Da, and then embarrassed because she "did not know" Qin Da was smsing her. So then Girl B diverted to Girl A, which is actually Jewel, acted fumed with Qin Da, then I added on contacting that Girl B to forward me a sms to say: Eh kaya!! Eu go give that guy my number arh?! Walao i hate eu!! Go die make me paiseh only!!.... So I acted pointing finger at Qin Da saying he exposed Girl B's greatest Secret, made Girl A angry, and made Girl B angry with me, so 5 parties involved from the initial 2 (Qin Da and Girl A). That made him super stressed, until we revealed during the supper hahahha. Best is when Qi Da said it was private, but we knew since that Girl A was Jewel, then KY went over tricked him saying he screened his message. Like OMG~!! HHAHAHAHA really funneh~!!!

trololol day~ trololol day~ trolololololol ALL THE DAY~~ Oh WAD FUN ISIT TO TROL ON someones big bday! :p HEY~!! =D

After that we had a trolling part 2 to KY, acting it was a train crash down. Sort of pity him because he really thought it was real and prayed for us. He's really religious and a great friend, always concerned about everybody else but himself, he pushed me away to accompany the rest back and rather go home alone - the reason for the trololol ing haha.....

So after that we stayed at Jorgen's house. The next day I accompanied Johann to City Harvest. Really awkward to see so many familiar faces yet after all I went there for Johann, and actually ditched my whole cell because of that... sigh, oh well after that we went to set up for sx's surprise. I invited KY over too, grateful that he came too, but left early at 10 or so, he looked bored at times with me, which I really really really feel super bad about it.... Like I dont know, my fire starter bank is really limited, as well as my gas.....

So we stayed over to sent SX off to China this morning, slept for 2h then went for the xmas service at BBTC, to find out that only me and KY turned up. Felt bad too because felt like I ditched them so they ditched me.... Sigh, KY felt disappointed too I guess, which made him sian again. So accompanied him home, then collect log cake, then rest for an hour at home uploading photos then off to Kok Guan's house.

Had fun at Kok Guan's house as well, loads of food and fun, and finally reached home now to again upload photos, charge batteries and blog. Oh well, thats all for just a weekend. Really amazing. Really surprised. Really had fun.

也许我一个人
不能成就一番大事业
但我尽力贡献一份微薄的力量
Though Im not the one with all the riches
But my contribution is enough to satisfy some

也许我自己
不能发出万丈光和亮
但我能为斗室带来足够的光芒
Though Im not the sun
At least im a candlelight that could provide warmth

我从来都不在乎
自己不是一个大人物
因为平凡也是一种幸福
看到名人总是忙忙碌碌
我的时间由我控制
平凡日子一样会充实

Conclusion: It's normally the ordinary that brings out the best in humanity.

Really, I really admired KY, Jorgen, Amanda and Qin da to go volunteering at SCC daily 7am-7pm, with much passion and enthusiasm. Besides me and Elizabeth I dont think there's other regular volunteers already. Somehow I think KY is like a magnet to attract awesome people. His presence always makes the place vibrant and welcoming. Really, on behalf of scc and the kids, i really would like to thank them much. I shall be frank that even myself cant make it going that far. Furthermore the bond I see he had with Adriel, haha can be his brother already!

Anyway today the seniors went to soul garden, I felt sad for KY and Yu Qian to be asked to stay in scc to help with the younger ones. Had a great time with them, but tomorrow shall be the last day I shall see them. Sigh. Time flies, one year has gone, shall write a long long letter for the grads tmr.

I really hope KY and Yu Quan could have their opportunities for outings and fun outside of scc, as appreciation for their passion and effort, of much sacrifice.

Anyway back to the song lyrics, I thought of this song, because i was speaking to someone, understanding the person's problems, and I found out alot that I never knew. As much as the person appears to be alright and complete, or idea, the person had lots of unspoken problems-to-be. SO anyway I thought of this song, that I'm really glad I could still use my limited financial power to help, to contribute to their growth. And I, just like tons other in the world, would always say: "just pay back the treat when you grow up and could work." But really, I'm prepared to down payment a heavy investment of my effort, time and money on this person. No matter the outcome, I just think that it's worth it. I shall discreetly (actually not very discreet either) hope that this person could grow up strong and successful.

Ofcoz until now Im really curious how others think of me, sometimes I really wish I could eavesdrop people's thoughts, like professor X, this way I would know best whats the best thing to do at the right time. Since I wouldnt know, lets jsut be ignorant and assume Im not a busybody nuisance that loves to KPO around and show off my ability, but someone just randomly like to help and contribute. =D

So yea enough with the person, back to scc, I saw how devoted is KY to volunteering, to some extend Im afraid that it might affect his other areas next year, mainly studies wise. If you're so good at a certain thing that I affects you to not do well in other areas, it would mean that you're doing too much. Though yes we will not know how far we can go until we reached too far, but as we reach too far in this situation, it might not be that easy to hold back. Im also at dilemma of what is best, I could only say, que sera sera, shall see how for the first month of next year.

Lots of things to blog about now. Wed 14th I went to MindCafe to study psychology alone, I studied Motivation, including Learning - the Reinforcement Schedules. It's a really interesting topic! It talks about how should be handle reinforcements for encouraging a certain desired behavior. Then, as I'm feeling a little emo, I called out Jorgen for night cycling, which halfway his bike tyre burst, leaving us going to gas station. There, I bought a bike from a China Dude for Weide. This is so that I would have two bikes to choose from in Bedok, and also two bikes would mean I could always call up people to night cycling with me after work in the future. So yea we went to Kungfu Cafe, then he called up another guy, where we went to 85 market and the last stop is Macdonald, after we roam arounf NTUC hugging the 25 bucks big bear around hunting for mashmallows hahahhaa~!!! And yea we played Chubby Bunny. That morning then, I was sooo touched that Tai waited for me till 3am, yet I came back only close to 5am. Sigh, then we HTHT till the next morning, which I went to SCC and even stayed on for water activities, thus having the need to call my mum to bring my work uniform. After work, I was dead tired, and got a 5h slp till the next day. Fri was exams, 2 exams, then I went to meet SX to discuss about wushu procedures and we were "promoted" to become assistant trainers. So yea additional responsibility.

Next, cell retreat~!! I went all the way to Changi Village to meet them, which Kok Guan was very impressed, though I thought it was a small feat. Retreat was great, playing games, having fun, everyone was rather high, including Chang Hong. Im glad he started to open up to us, and jingled and mingled with us. But unfortunately YongJie fell ill, which thus after 2h of sleep, I went out to his car with him to sleep. Everything happens for a reason, his cough made him come out since he did not want to disturb anybody else, which thus he could lent out his sleeping bag to the shivering Edmund curling on the chair, not sofa, its a one person chair! Sigh, that stubborn kid. Luckily something just urged me to buy Qing Re Pian before I went Changi Village. So I irrigated him with that, thus he's pretty alright on the next day =)

Time passes slowly. On the second day, since I am in charge of breakfast, I bought some Otahs to share and also decided to buy Liang Teh for YJ and Edmund, which Kok Guan acknowledged this trivial feat as well. Made me feel really great and motivated. Perhaps this is one different factor of church, I receive more compliments, which is a vital part of my Signs of Receiving Love. Water games are fun too~! The clues and the hiding places are really creative and interesting. Oh yea during the whole retreat i taught Chang Hong and Wei Chong lots of piano too. =) I felt I accomplished much.

Then, just nice as we finish our bible study about 'The storm will come', we had a power trip during steamboat. After much fret, we managed to get full stomach too before catching the midnight show in Downtown East Cathay: Mission Impossible. Finally we slept. I again slept for 2h, before waking up to cover blanket for the stubborn Edmund. Then I went to wushu with him. I thought I couldnt make it, but in the end managed to endure through training, Shi Jie's PE lecture, lunch, and even hunting for Adriel's birthday gifts and making the card. Really amazing. So yea these 5 days, I slept a total of 11h, over 108h. Im really amazed by the strength I had.

So yea, about Edmund, I dragged him into wushu too, and hope he would be the next generation of our Wu Xuan too. I would start to train him like how we were trained in sec 2 too. I just got a feeling he will be a great leader someday, doing great things. Either way, I really hope we could revive Wu Xuan. Anyway, somewhere long before I wrote I suspect he was hiding alot of problems from me, I found out them today. Sigh, so I wrote in fb: Sometimes as I envy, I would remind myself again, that I'm really really blessed, to be out of adversities and calamities, yet because of this, I'm too blessed that I would have to burden lots of responsibilities, so at least i wont waste my life. Sometimes Im really afraid of what my future holds, afraid that I will fail myself, and everyone around me. So I really hope i could invest in people in my life that can reap returns in my later age, so I would not need to brace through them myself - dan qiang pi ma.

Anyway, it's because of him I had more activities and vibrancy in my life I guess, and also for many people's life. Whenever he go, there are followers, wushu, scc, everywhere, and its good, because he can be a great leader, I shall watch this boy grow strong.

Yesterday in SCC we played captain's ball before i left, and I headr when i leave my team lost badly. But Im really curious if they are happy. When I was around, I do try my best for every member to participate and touch the ball. I made Gab the catcher because people say he's a bad catcher. I pass to the girls, which people normally stereotype as weak. Im glad I can do all these, because Im sure they dont mind losing as long they actually played. Same case today, I had a match with Gab, KaiSheng against a stranger, Alvin and Jorgen. I think KS and Gab enjoyed it, KaiSheng scored well, rather impressed, and Gab learnt fast too. John too I taught him to throw the ball the correct way. I really glad I could be the one that gave them the chance to pursuit knowledge or skills.

Today, I went to SCC the whole day, for the christmas party and hanging around with the alumni, before sending Edmund home. A really fun day, the kids are sooo blessed, the toys, the food, the programs, the facilities, the staffs. Sigh, sometimes, how I wished I could be a kid, being enrolled there, having access to all these fortunate things. Oh well, at the end of the day, Im blessed enough to have myself today. Then as I reached home I had a few talks with parents since we seldom talked, then helped my mum with a letter to her teacher, and then now blogging. After this shall finish up project perhaps taking an hour or so, then die die must sleep for tmr, Im gonna meet them at 6.45 at Tanah Merah........... Crazy people.......

On Fri went to "surprise" wei chong, but yea it was rather obvious, anyway yea had a mini celebration. =D Spend the morning hunting for gifts with ky, bought a friendship note and a photo frame for him, it was raining thus we spend time in the library to craft it, and met qianhui there. It has been so long time talking to her, like I sort of remembered sec 1 when I met her, she was like damn cute like movie, except im not in front but behind, kept annoying her with funny songs haha. "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, and got shot down by the FBI, but I havent die, I go macdonalds buy some fries, dont know how I got the grand prize, oh I believe I wont die, I dont want to die...." haha.......

So yea, time flies, I miss all those good times annoying people with my singing haha. Then I saved her contacts as "qian zhou" haha, so yea, good younger days. Then... well we split, and sec 3 sec 4, never talked much too.

Sat went for caroling with pop excel. Dragged ch along, felt so uneasy like daoing him, he must have felt damn left out, solo piano-ing and guitar-ing in the room. But yea ever since he gave me the tickets to the concert he started talking to me already. I decided to subsidize him for the retreat. He can be a very high and enthu guy as I seen as we go home, and his shuffling haha. Cool. Ive seen him enjoying himself and having fun with his friends once on my way to church.

Sun wushu as normal. After that went to watch beautiful sunday concert at esplanade, I thought I saw boon yang but he was with some juniors? so didnt approach him. Which reminds me of some good younger days too, when everything was so simple and fine. Funny how life can flip 180 in the matter of days. Anyway, yea went home early wanted to study, yet realized my notes were left at the caroling, so spent 3h singing haha.

Today, went to sch thinking it was BNF thus checked out the web for last min digestion tables to cramp, but turned out to be ASR, which I thought of spending my break to study, so yea, unlucky. I had all the answers, forgot them. For BNF, it was rather good since I had lots of time studying, yet it was just 10%. Sigh. Tmr LAW, should be rather confident. Oh well. Bird shit on me at the canteen, what a bad omen, a bad day, so I went home after test, to get the day over and done with, by sleeping and singing. Oh right it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life~!! And Im feeling good~~

Planned to visit scc before exam, then after exam find ky to talk about something. Sigh, I handled some sensitive info badly, lead to misleadings and misunderstandings, I think I ruined his reputation abit, really sorry about that. I'll try to make up for that, hope he wont take it too hard, damn myself for kpo-ing, I felt I might ruin his friendship with certain people and his impression.

Anyway recalled back an old song, which again reminded me of some childhood incident, enjoyable moments of life, and also since I only know this song in sec 1 at the bbt shop, it reminded me about those fun times again.

天空突然下起了一场大雨
我该不该现在送你回去
不想打断你给的甜蜜
干脆就让我陪你淋雨

So yea was talking to people these few days, about some awesome moments of our lifes, when we caught up the bus at the moment it was about to close its door, which thus made lots of other people able to catch up too. Also childhood days when we can have lots of conflicts one day, the next day resume as per normal, or that can be two parties fighting, yet as teacher questions we would say "Nah we're just playing" when we have bruises and scratches. Awesome childhood days. Ofcoz there are those irritating people who loves to gang up against someone better than them, out of jealousy or envy. They would throw erasers, kick chairs, verbal abuse, etc, haha childhood conflicts in their small small society. Those were the days, when our world is so small, yet mimics the exact situations in our complicated world as well. This is why the bible loves kids, and ted talks had used kids to solve world problems. Parts and parcel of life - how many of them do you still remember??

Anyway, some psychology questions, I know I tend to nag alot when im concern about friend or people, esp when sick or something, so I dont know myself either, would I actually want to find a life partner who would nag me back too? It would be Freud's theory where we tend to look in the qualities of our spouse, the qualities our mothers have. This is why some cases there are taboos and such. This rather amuse me. Looks like Im the only one who likes to nag at even friends, and that as much as I hate naggings from parents, I would yearn to be nagged once in a while, like once a few days? To have the kind of feeling that someone cares about me. Sometimes nagging is a form of love too, its expression of concern, that parents often do, thus will everyone nags too when they're parents, how about being nagged? anyone want that? as in not only parents, to have a spouse that nags? Reminds me of the "seatbelt design' sexist joke on fb, also the forum on tv where teens do want their parents to nag at them once in a while to feel their parenthood.

Always wanted to blog, but too much to blog, so gotta postpone till im free. The next few posts gonna be reviews on (Stranger Than Fiction), and a few law concepts and stuffs Ive learnt in tmr's psychology. That should cover a few thousands words I suppose.... haha, nah gonna summarize into average language. Work today was awesome as usual. Boss came again, woah stalker, the last time he came was when I worked too, it had been a month or so, then he came again today, the moment I started my schedule.... Scary.... Anyway, something strange happened last night. The folders on my shelves fell and scattered on the floor, along with those on my chair, but the strange thing was that it was put tightly thus unless a strong force pushed it, it will never drop, not even shaking would drop them, must be a violent force or some sort. As we suspect it was just that I slept-kicked it, its impossible because I hadnt have such incidents since long time ago, and even if so, the ornaments on top of the shelves, which would drop upon little force such as the wind, would drop too, yet they didnt, and the rest of the shelves are completely fine. Dad said one of the files had my name "Kyanta" written in big and obvious font and colour. Scary? Then as I took noticed of my remaining value of my ezlink, it was, $6.66. Sigh, superstitious or not? Hope everything's gonna be fine tonight. The thing is that I sort of woke up right after the folders drop last night, but went back to sleep thinking it was wind or something, and only logically thought through this morning, and it freaked me out a bit. Anyways, ciao.......

Yesterday competition was a total fluke haha. I had confidence since I was expecting the results for me to emerge last, so I was having fun, and my confidence got a gold medal! haha. Many thanks ofcoz to shixiong for such dedication for me to try this style, and KY for the thought to come to support me (though no one else cared). So yea thankful of such a great friend. I went to visit him for he was sick, even bought the qing re pian for him. Waited an hour for him to reply, but no reply, so I thought he might be in bad shape so I visited him, only to find him playing comp and seemingly well.

I was wrong, today he didnt turn up for training. He was sick, shivering when wake up, feverish. I think actually basing on logic, fever got 2 ways, one is to surpress, another is to let it out, normally for me is let it out, in that case actually shouldnt use 2 blankets, wear lightweight clothes drink warm water to let it sweat it off, but then u woke up shivering so thats weird, so lets say if fever is coz of body thermometer disfunction, and body generate more heat by shivering to achieve the malfunctioned thermometer standard, then drink lots of warm water should help?? So I so think it's coz of his lack of hot fluid intake.

But he sleeping in storeroom, sigh always think of this quite heartache, no comfy bed for him to rest well. Very alien what to do in his current situation, the least i could do is the pray and hope for the best. Maybe if have time I shall visit him again on tue after sch.

Wushu today was whole day of fun. Basketballing and catching. Basketball was okay, fun as usual, I think they all enjoyed it, but I think by abruptly stop the game very weird, like dont have the sense of finishing a last score or something. Psychology point of view, like some may have the competitive spirit to score next goal but just ended like that, momentum disrupt. Then catching, I dont know, unexpectedly 2 kids was turned off when the runner came up with stunts for them to imitate, and they would have to jump 2 frog jumps if unable to imitate. Then they just black face and sulk, like seriously WTF? Generations now so weak? its not like asking them to run whole basketball court or something, then we kept giving in, its like...... sigh.... play game nia complain so much, then sit one side diam larh, dont affect the rest of the atmosphere lehh, people having fun got crime arh? Thats why at times kids really irritating. Cant handle much nevermind, so "king" attitude, with the "far" prefix, rude somemore....... Well shall not care much, i wouldnt wanna be involved much, and certainly not the best baby sitter. =D oh well at least some kids do like me haha =D

Anyway, I think the rest enjoyed it, so oh well. Hmm, I think wushu is reviving! Plus the upcoming drama is about wushu too, might attract more people here. =D Hope soon we can have another camp =D would be super fun! Looking forward =D Was looking at archive on these fun times, really nostalgic haha.

So anyway went to BGSS band concert thing, was expecting like the anglican band concert but turns out like bds open house nia, oh well at least it's free. Rather surprising CH invited me, but just now I see everyone has someone to visit them and talk to, but he has none, not even his family and bro, I feel so sad, and so glad I turned up despite the rest of the church not free or cant make it, and despite ppl asking me not to go since no one else going, but I replied, imagine I was the performer and wants to invite 10 ppl, yet none turned up? Yepp so glad Ive put myself in his shoes, after all he's considered my student =D which teacher wouldnt be proud of his own student? haha. Shy boy as usual, but yea, awesome.

Ok ciao, lots of things to do tomorrow, especially PST, sigh headache sia. I shall do it during tmr break.

Another week has passed. Basically the focus of the week is at these few days, as usual. Wed I had training at Tai's carpark. For the first time ever in my wushu years, I was complimented. I felt really great, really really great. As their culture is one that likes to criticize, to the point it was overwhelming at one point in time, this compliment really uplifted me. Im very thankful for that, since im sort of immune to critique from them already, after learning sociology and such. Ofcoz, except a few of them larh which will never suan people. Anyway, so Oishii was picking on my laid-back attitude, which actually I would disagree. I mean ofcoz I know Im always the que sera sera style, but actually, in certain aspects I do believe Im a determined person. As Samy said, I might look laid back, but in the long run, actually im doing fine too. Ofcoz Im lazy, but at least I think I have progression, just that others progress faster so it always seems Im stagnant, status quo. I do have many commitments and many things to deal with, basically my juggling skills is lousy, so gotta prioritize them some way or another, resulting in many compromises.

So anyway, thur was a blast, it felt like a century worth of fun haha. Psychology lecture was about emotions and motivations, which Sharon actually disagrees about Maslow. So curious about her arguments, gotta ask next week. I still do think that it is accurate, because without first level, you wont think of anything else. But knowing her awesomeness, I'll be looking forward for it.

Today I attended a Love forum which I find is quite crap, I didnt learn anything significant much, except a nice take away that one have to embrace who are we inside, in order to really love from the inside, if not it would be nothing but a pursuit of recognition from others. Other than that questions are lame, no matured questions like "What do you think about clingy relationships?" or "What if the other party have no confidence in future?" or "Long distance relationships" etc....

Anyway, Thur was still best, organised a MindCafe outing, which KY invited his clique down too, those people who stayed over at their class chalet. Other than them, Nickolas (Tai's friend), Jo and his 2 twin friends, WeeSeng and Jorgen.

Those long hours were tiring, but overall, the atmosphere kept building on, constant laughter, constant smiles, and I hope they enjoyed themselves thoroughly. Managed to capture few genuine happiness on camera, which made me sooo happy, not gay, but its just that as I see people producing genuine smiles with my company really lifts me up.

After that, Jorgen, WS, Nick and me went for supper at Simpang Bedok, slacked and talk cock, really great, we had satays and chendols and taught them how to play Bridge haha, surprisingly Jorgen didnt knew how to play Tai-Ti, just like Siva in the beginning on the year. They picked up fast, as what these types of people usually do. I think these are the people who have not much friends in their secondary schools and rather homeboy, such that they seldom mingle with nonsense we do when we are bored, so they only play sports and things that normally people take pains to organize due to their rare participation. Then I walked them home, and that's the day, slept at 4am, woke up at 10 today to do project, then went for lunch and then rushed to that forum.

So anyway, was talking to someone today, and this concept of friendship came up. The person said that trying to keep update with friendships and KPO-ing about them might be in vain, like it was not the effort since life is like cohort, where there's always a cohort to move along as we live our lives.

So I agreed, sometimes, life is like a train, friends and cliques come and go as we go on with life, sometimes its not really worth the effort, such as me sending friends all the day to doorsteps, treating bubble tea, and many things Im proud that I did for my friends, even silly things like running with ice kacang melting on hand all the way to friend's house, stayed up whole night to counsel, agreed to KPO into friend's stuffs when I have tons of other things to do, research and help with sch works I dont even know about, etc etc, but Im really glad and touched by some friends who had went great miles for me as well, or at least the thought they had for me.

Namely WeiDe, that long ago incident where of all friends, he picked mine and another's to be "blessed" in his religion. Other than that, I think I would credit to KY, as he's like a optimism magnet, Cheuck's optimism vibrant up my life directly, but his is different, obviously he not as kiddish and high energy as Cheuck, he's rather serious, but his efforts bring interesting people into my life and made my life more vibrant, more full of activities and happiness. He's down with fever now, I really hope and pray he will be well tomorrow evening for the cell because I think he enjoyed it much, and wouldnt want to skip, so as his character he would embrace his fever to go. SO I wont ask him to come to support me tomorrow, as he wanted to do so rather badly, that got me touched, and tried convince the whole cell too! This is not extra miles, extra lightyears already! His thoughts enough for me to be glad I have such friend, do hope I will stay contact with him for the rest of my life, and may our friendship stay strong. After all, it all boils down to "How far are you willing to go?"