Had a tiring day cleaning up the wushu storeroom, it looked so much cleaner, yet i dont have a full satisfaction yet, why?? just because i didnt mop half of the area under that mat? dont know leh, felt not complete enough. Anyway except for the running part, wushu was fun, and i think the 6 people relay liu lu tan tui is super cool...

rest at tai house before making my way to tuition.. urgh so tired, now just finifhed chi homework, gonna owe eng homework once again sigh. as usual.

yesterday skipped pop excel tuition for debrief of reunion dinner 2010. no tio meh session so its quite cool. then supposed to study yet obviously we didnt do much, somemore got pissed by johann who was pissed by me. get it? right here's how it all happened: he was playing pokemon i called him, so he had to restart, after such a long time, i didnt expect him not to save, i called him again. i know i had part to blame but com'on larh just because of pokemon turn your back on your friend. I was shocked, then dissapointed, then angry, then sad, speechless. partly angry with tai too for adding oil to fire. i threw my hp though nothing happened, rv was rather stunned im really sorry. see how fast can 2 just part? Frankly what i did is a prank, not an insult, compared to how many insults have you all gave me, all the 'noob' and the 'loser' and the 'nub' plus the 'fail', all the 'bird brain' and 'pig', i did not, or even if i did a little, say such insults, i prank to try to liven up the atmosphere, you think i like that, being dao and left out without anything to do, do you ever put yourself in my shoes? how i pretended to be childish trying to spice up a dull atmosphere, to try to have a topic to be active in, to just hear some conversation that are not alien to me?

Sigh, im used to those actually, I spent that night thinking, and got my epiphany, nothing lasts... not happiness, not age, not friends... the world is just an illusion, an vast emptiness, and what matters last isnt what i got, i mustnt be selfish, is what i gave out, contributed, helped out. I come from nothing, I go back with nothing, why waste the process of this nothingness? I felt much better off now than when i tried previously to bottled up those 'im not surprised if you teach wrong' kind of remarks when i got such high hopes on a potential, or how one could joke and tease me when i tried to bestow some wisdom to them. I might be better off alone, what what would that make me?

Blues beneath the joker mask is a phrase for me. But I will never chicken out in any show.

I send out announcement/reminder. First few times I don't get reply, I continue sending. And say I spam. My fault.
That's their problem. Keep it up.

I send out announcement/reminder. I don't keep on sending anymore. They say they didn't receive. My fault.
Yes it is.

I send out announcement/reminder. I just send one time. When the time comes, they tell me they don't understand. My fault.
Their problem.

I send out announcement/reminder. I still decide to send just once. They last-minute say they can't make it. My fault.
Not your problem.

I send out announcement/reminder. I added a question, "Understand?". They think that I'm being fed-up. My fault.
Yes is your tone of speech.

I send out announcement/reminder. I ask a bit more. They say they're lost. My fault.
No one's fault but try to KISS (keep it short & sweet)

I send out announcement/reminder. They say I can't relay the message properly and clearly. My fault.
No one's fault, try to relay msg with speech instead then or you do yourself.

I don't send out announcement/reminder. They say they don't know what's going on. My fault.
Obviously

I don't send out announcement/reminder. They say I always use to remind and announce. And they say they didn't expect that I won't send. My fault.
If you are leader then is your fault, if not their fault.

I don't send out announcement/reminder. They blame me for not finalising. My fault.
Their fault for not caring.

I give opinion. They say anything. In the end, the outcome sucks. My fault.
No one said your fault lol is you think too much.

I give opinion. They think it's not good. They disagree. My fault.
Please larh accept other's opinion too.

I give opinion. I put in a lot of effort. I get discredit. My fault.
No one's fault lol, sometimes is just that way, like as if we never had that.

I give opinion. No one bothers. They say it's not attractive. My fault.
Please accept other's opinion too. No one said is crime to talk wth.

I give opinion. They agree. They don't even try to follow-up and progress. They say I should be the one doing it. My fault.
Their fault.

I don't give opinion. They say I don't care. My fault.
Say your no opinion larh, no one's fault, just that you coincidently 'no opinion'

I don't give opinion. They think that I'm not happy. Keep blaming me not to be so upset always. My fault.
I dont know about that cuz im not the one saying.

I don't give opinion. They say I don't give a damn. My fault.
Answered

I ask for more. They say I'm too strict. My fault.
Ask as in expectations, yes. Ask as in questions, no.

I ask a bit more. They say I'm crazy. My fault.
Answered

I said "A". But they insist I said "B". My fault.
Answered

I asked for "A". They got "B",. When other people ask. My fault.
Not your fault.

I work a bit faster. They keep complaining I'm rushing them. My fault.
Yes cuz people's pace are diff.

I work faster. I couldn't get my agenda. I ask them once. They say I cannot give them pressure. My fault.
Answered

I just ask to be a little faster/harder. They say I'm asking for too much. My fault.
Answered.

When I ask something. They keep on playing. In the end, they say that I didn't say. My fault.
Their fault.

I want to do something. They don't give me support/ interest. My fault.
Not everyone would follow you, sometimes doing something is hard, gaining support even harder... or everyone would be in the streets protesting now...

Dear Kyanta Yap, you have finish taken The Clothes You Wear Personality Test.
The analysis: You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.

What others see from your style:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are artistic
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Confident
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Don't like to be controlled
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You enjoy traveling
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Dressing smartly helps you move around more efficiently

What your nightclothes reveal:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You're in need of love
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to be taken care of
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Panic easily
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have a strong wish for security in your life

What others see from your ties:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You enjoy being alone
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to life the simple but good life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You cherish your freedom
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are thoughtful
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Confident
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Uninterested in glamour

What others see from your belts:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a frank
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Assertive
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Sometimes flamboyant person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are friendly
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Want to be accepted by everybody
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to have fun
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : To be free
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : To live a comfortable lifestyle

What others see from your shoes:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a person who loves simplicity
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Is sincere
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Open
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are pleasant to be with
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Easygoing
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Always in a good mood
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don't care much about how you look
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important

What others see from your earrings:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are probably an independent
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Strong-willed person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Fairness is important to you
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You always stand up for what you believe in
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are friendly
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Get along well with people

After all the hustling and bustling of life, finally able to take a break and blog. Been extremely busy for the past few weekends and not to mention weekdays. Weekdays were infested with homeworks and overdued homeworks, that I finally completed them last friday.

Friday was Chinggay rehearsal, at least I was glad that our costumes are green instead of that pinkish thing.... anyway didnt knew that there was a preview on fri therefore that was already one actual performance before the one aired live on sat, dad was there to take video, but he couldnt stay on for too long and was asked to leave after a while, I mean after our performance and few others had passed. I must say everyone was brilliant that 2 days, I'll definitely go again next year if there is, oh we got 30 hours CIP!! though it didnt do much help to my 98 hours....

As usual after each gatherings with WuXuan people we would go to bedok inter to eat. We celebrated Johann's birthday on Fri night, the first that was celebrated with JiaoLian haha cool eh? Kenji and WanYan was there on sat's supper.

Sun we had our CNY visits to each others' hoouse, mine was not available sadly. The only few jokes that day were the one at Wee Seng's house when he called his father 'uncle' haha. Second was when Sin5 called home he overheard his mum speaking to his sister 'Dang, they're here' haha. And I think the best time of the day is when we gathered to sing 'kiss goodbye' with shixiong as the piano player. The rest of the days were rather boring with them mostly hooked to psp an itouch.

The most dissapointing was visit to JiaoLian house. Me and Jo was expecting to be more fun like playing some party games or such, yet turned out the RV people were also playing their electronic games. The atmosphere was pretty silent compared to those mad magazines and bang games we had played past years. For the first time, though only a total of 3 times, I felt dissapointed during CNY visits and was bored. It was rather tiring for me to start conversation that wouldnt sustain for more than 5 mins and thus had to change topic again and again. Though it might be a way to connect with them, but that's just one to one. Sigh. Anyway I had always thought 'river flows in you' by yiruma was hard but Kenji prooved me and probably us wrong that day. It wasnt as hard, I think Tai wants to learn it. Oh the food at JiaoLian's house was excellent! Scrumptious tom yam and tasty bbq-ed stuffs, even though we had been eating vegetarian for 3 days, it was superb.

Anyway was really glad didnt went to the Marife thing. On one hand those that went were saying that I will definitely regret for not going, that it was really wonderful and great and fun and fruitful and all along that line. But first thing in the morning Kow came in and kp us, I think she's rather biased, yes that there were complains of us, being litter-bugs and noisemakers, and yes we were the majority people, but I could guarantee that we couldnt make up 50% of the noise. From this I could see how hypocrite are people. Smiling and bare all these to yourself and then vent your anger in black and white, painting the paper nothing but complains. And I believe Kow is biased to our class, to speak in that way like as if we were completely wrong. So what if we are A, we're still humans! Any prooves that we made the most noise? No right, please larh for someone like me to even predict the situation, she had no fucking rights to accuse us like as if is our fault completely. She had always been boastful and biased against us, to the extend of being unkind. If I were there I would have quarelled with her. Thats humans rights, we cant just let the matter rest as what she said it.

got sick on 12mn of the chinese new year, bad omen? hope not... but earned a movie by being on the sick bed... sigh bad weather...

had rounds of laughter yesterday midnight....

first of all we sent tai off at the airport, then was planning to watch movie, su qi er, yet shixiong do not want. Therefore we followed him instead, he was meeting his friend, before that we went to old ariport hawker to drink.

then shixiong friends came in, it was hilarious, his car was full of heavy weights... at least 75 for each of the 6... that was awesome....

the journey to find a food place is also hilarious:

Friend: After the orange signboard turn in right
SX: which one, this one?
(drove passed signboard)
Friend: Yea it is.
SX: Brilliant...

Friend: Turn right after traffic light (pointing to right)
SX: (kept to the left lane)
Friend: Right leh lao da
SX: (giggles) I thought you pointed left coz ur hand is moving more to the left.

(finding a u turn)
SX: Let's turn in here
Friend: Ok
SX: (few seconds later) wah one way leh
Friend: Just turn larh there will be no car (reverse is dangerous)
SX: Now what? (another one way linking from the current)
Friend: Go larh one way then one way all the way
(saw a driver turning in)
Friend: Quick turn to the path we went in just now and meet him again
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)we did do that, and luckily found a parking slot.
Apparently a taxi was seemingly in front waiting for the space yet did not show signal, then the passenger walked out, but went in again as we coincidently walked out too. (all big sizes).....

The dinner topic was the climax of laughter, but I'm not disclosing it in blog.

Then after dinner, or rather supper, silie(?) mentiooned about his proposal plan to his girlfriend, when asked wen he said this coming week, we were shocked since we need to search for 18 helpers to each carry an umbrella with a leeter which would form "will you marry me?"... then we were saying that we cannot find stupid people or they might call the target and say "eh xxx, I cant make it today for your proposal"... haha just like last year on shixiong's birthday, "kaiyu arh? heard there will be a surprise party for u, sorry ah i cant make it, have fun!".....

had the worst nightmare last night. I dreamt that I became mad, a completely changed person though can't seemed to remember how inhuman I became but the irony is that I was talking about dreams and mind to Jo on sat night after chingay. And also the fact that I wanted to be a psychology doctor...

seriously i find it hard to really sleep well, that i could woke up energized and fresh. It was like something of a burden squashed me beneath it. then even like now i feel like a beast trapped inside of me, in naruto terms, sealed, and i really would like to face that thing, like im trying to struggle to be hold it back, and that thing is like me... maybe it is just freud's theory of the super ego, ego, id.... and yea maybe is i think too much therefore my brain could not stop thinking of stuffs even if i forced myself not to... like sub consciously larh...

then the last thing gonna mention is i seriously wonder what is the purpose of cheering someone out when crying, crying in an art not all humans can do, and it has benefits of crying, able to 'let out' and even live longer... crying is good... but ofcoz after that just snap and get on with life like nothing had ever happen before... this is better than holding tears and add chores to yourself....

anyway chingay was a total waste of time as usual, food was not nice.. tio meh coz was sick on friday... thats why today didnt went training, but went to old folk's home perf, was slip short (not sure how spell) due to the slippery floor.... glad to see some youngsters helping out there, and here's one smu student that decided to own a cheesecake carreer.... wish him success, his cheesecakes are marvelous... best of luck, i admire him for his courage to pursuit what he enjoys.... god bless...

argh it will be monday again tmr.. gud nite swt drms

lion

sigh ended the week in the bed, ill, above video is super cool, hope there will be more love in the world

2 more sch days for the week... seriously, why must fridays be so close to mondays yet mondays are so far from fridays.... right, recap from last thur

pe play javelin, guess was the one dragging the team down or would emerge 1st, sigh.... hope tmr would be better then...

friday... got my braces... lousy dentist made a scar near my right lip... who cares, as long as job is done...

sat... BIG DAY !!! WushuHub Reunion Dinner 2010 was successful that day, except the fact that I didnt get to sing!!! damnit i had stir up the atmosphere abit... after this event im not taking up anymore projects. Kept kena suan when coaching... Oh, in bttc I was a trainee games leader, such bliss in seeing their heartfelt smiles, like they are able to tame the beast deep in me... this was more gratifying to any other things i did to help people... wasted efforts as said... cant even get a simple ppt slides right....

Well, it was still a success, francis was superb being the mc with claire, and i heart nicole from far !!!!!!! oh oishi was caught on camera with middle finger haha.... and yea we bedok had fun... lorenzo won a printer...

oh after that suppose to go cousin house, then i missed stop therefore met oishi and tingsheng zj oh way back, decided to go for a movie, cool my record leh 12mn movie haha... slept at 3am

woke at 6am, swam at noon, had fun thinking of forfeits for my cousin and friends haha.

mon.. cant think anything much, super tired in sch, and just when i was going to sleep mrs mah saw me... sad... oh taught yimei canon, she progress fast... wonder if this time it would be gratifying... everytime tio suan fucking pissed... at least let her learn a song so she can show off right, then teach the rest of the basics... why never teach this why never teach that, u think i super coach she super student arh, talk only nia, so good u teach larh, kpkb blp do...

tue... nothing much

wed... first time went cca, nth to do there, super bored...