Today had a short day,
then slacked at home.
Watched Jay Chou RoofTop,
the scene is really elaborated, very impressive!
yet the musical part is not as nice cuz it is only one scene, like disney,
but musical is more of a transition between scenes.
Some interesting concepts here and there yet not developed properly,
the script is quite cliche too.

But well, the script is soooo romantic haha!
Jay actually came up with the script during interview and stick to it,
"rooftop, closest to heaven, so better make more wishes"
"really?"
"yea, if not you wouldnt be here"....
hahhaas so original!
Yea anyway in movies, the kampong spirit seems always so fun,
ppl coming together to dance and play, and eat....
Such utopia........

One day, I must produce my own musical!!!
self composed songs, script and stage!!
Woohooo aug full of fun!
Sem is almost over! Hosann-AH is here! and free foods~!!

So sad going to intern soon~
feel like organising Science Cafe SG in AdstraGold,
but need to gather a team and much work to be done.....

Anyway, a friend reminded me of the upcoming sg version of Apple of my Eye,
Girl in Pinafore.
Hopefully brings back the sg xinyao culture!!
as well as revisiting sgrean stories, memories and jokes.

Supposed to talk about intelligence and wisdom,
shall leave it till monday ba........

Another week is almost over.
This week I worked almost everyday.

On Sat we had Amazing Race Singapore Challenge.
The tasks were easy, just that it was exhausting to travel around town.
This time, the tasks do not bring out the team spirit much,
more of delegation on tasks.

Sun, we ran the Run Against Cancer, 10km,
First marathon for Me and DQ,
Wonder how happy he is, but he didnt show too delighted... =(

Wanted to host a huge table dinner for Singapore Food Festival,
yet most people replied with "see who going first",
or simply reject, so my mood was down,
rejected all of them and went drinking myself.

Sometimes I really wonder why wouldnt my family be big,
that at least can sit in one table, 6 at least?
Sigh, 3 person, not even full for a standard seat,
most of the time 2 person anyway.
As much as some people preferred small concentrated gatherings,
I prefer huge gathering of at least a table,
The act of sharing the full table variety of food just makes me happy.
At least, food rationing for beggars achieved the essence too.

Monday, after doing a little work,
and resting whole day for my legs,
I went to Santouka Ramen, Singapore First Ramen.
The soup was thick and delicious,
The meat is tender and tasty,
just that the noodle itself loose to even Ajisen.
Then, went to Brewerkz.
All these with parents.

Tue work was lousy,
customers were giving trouble,
and colleague was not entertaining guests,
screwed up orders here and there due to first mistake.
Sigh.

That brings us to Wed, skipped school,
Redid my essay, and other projects,
Work is quiet.

Then Thur is normal long hours of school.
A little catch up with S and D.
Talked a lot, seriously wonder if he gets it.

Sigh, bad news, a kid I knew from SCC was reported missing for a week.
9-year-old Muhammad Muzzaqir Bin Salim
My impression of him is obedient playful cheerful boy. Really cute.
Sigh, I seriously hope it is not human trafficking.
These people are so ruthless and heartless!
I sincerely pray for safety and refuge for him,
and for his family and friends to cope with it.

It was the last episode for the drama too,
the whole show, the pioneers acted brilliantly.
In the end, we are all acting for one another,
all hidden in masks, writing our own story.

Some quotes:

再多么精彩，如果在自己葬礼，荒无人烟，生活真是没意义。
No matter how vibrant was your life,
If on my deathbed,
Noone sincere is there,
What a mundane life I had lived.......

人生无常，要用自己生命影响被人的生命
Nothing last in the lifetime,
Use this lifetime to make a difference in others as much.

吃得苦中苦方为人上人
All the problems in the world are meant to make us stronger - the shinier diamonds.

不要错过任何拥抱，不要宁可说声加油。
Don't miss the opportunity to offer hug of support by merely saying words of affirmation. 

真爱是付出不是拥有
True love is to offer, not to gain. 

Sometimes I really think if I were to die, who would attend my funeral, what would their reactions be, what memories did I leave behind for each of them, do I have any confirmed attendant other than family?

The feeling of missing someone badly,
I can seriously remember a scene long time ago,
where a relative whom I met only once,
was crying to go home as he will miss me,
yet at that point of time I miss his older brother more,
it must have hurt him much! I was such an asshole!

Then, it was my turn to miss someone a lot,
yet that person is indifferent to anything.
Sigh. Must not get too emotional with people,
for nothing last........ everything is constantly changing.

Sigh......... shall not think so much,
tomorrow shall update on Intelligence and Wisdom. =)

3 more weeks.......... to freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, had 3 awkward moments, which made me rather stunned.
Then, sent 25 ppl, to come out for a dinner on sun,
Only 2 replied a yes. Guess it would be a small one again.
Oh well. Guess in the end, the only few times I could have big table dinner,
is xmas and after events.
CNY, Mooncake Fest, Bday, is often just me, and my mum and dad.
Sometimes I really wonder what would like like with siblings.
Would it be a more vibrant dynamic family?
I would want family of 5 or 6,
to avoid cold war with sibling as most of the people having 1 sibling is cold towards each other.

Oh well my fate.
Perhaps im too full of worry and ruminations.
Rumination is the opposite of worry,
Rumination is to feel distress of something in the past,
Worry is to feel distress of something in the future.

I think I have that sort of disorder,
I tend to ruminate alot,
and often need to reflect and rationalize,
and to constantly remind myself not to judge things
on my emotions and selfishness.  

To the point I suddenly thought,
that could some ppl choose to fall into a rs,
due to reliance, companion, so that you are sure that
wherever you wanna go there will be companion?
And perhaps these ppl do not have a gung ho group of friends??
Thus some rs broke down due to no time for each other.

I was wondering if I could go for some check up or something,
like the movie "Kind of a Funny Story",
the kid enrolled himself into a mental institution,
made friends there, made difference there,
found his own happiness in the end.......

《团圆》　
主唱：巫启贤　
作词：木子　
作曲：巫启贤

一个人　孤孤单单　走到海角天边　
偶尔想从前　回味成长的　酸和甜　
多希望　有一天　能再轻抚你的脸　
再多的辛苦　披星戴月　心甘情愿　

全世界　走一遍　不枉来人间兜一圈　
梦可以　很遥远　狂风暴雨都不改变　
全世界　心相连　用爱围一个大圈圈　
梦就算　再遥远　心里有家就会团圆

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffn0CgqKHFs

1）老王辛苦了一年，年终奖拿了1万，左 右一打听，办公室其他人年终奖却只有1 千。老王按捺不住心中狂喜，偷偷用手机 打电话给老婆：亲爱的，晚上别做饭了， 年终奖发下来了，晚上咱们去你一直惦记 着的那家西餐厅，好好庆祝一下！

2）老王辛苦了一年，年终奖拿了1万，左 右一打听，办公室其他人年终奖也是1 万，心头不免掠过一丝失望。快下班的时 候，老王给老婆发了条短信：晚上别做饭 了，年终奖发下来了，晚上咱们去家门口 的那家川菜馆吃吧。 

3）老王辛苦了一年，年终奖拿了1万，左 右一打听，办公室其他人年终奖都拿了1.2 万。老王心中郁闷，一整天都感觉像压着 一块石头，闷闷不乐的。下班到家，见老 婆正在做饭，嘟嘟囔囔地发了一通牢骚， 老婆好说歹说劝了半天，老王才想开了 些，哎，聊胜于无吧。把正在玩电脑的儿 子叫过来，摸给他一百块：去，到门口川 菜馆买两个菜回来，晚饭咱们加两个菜。 

4）老王辛苦了一年，年终奖拿了1万，左 右一打听，办公室其他人年终奖都拿了5 万。老王一听，肺都要气炸了，立马冲到 经理室，理论了半天，无果。老王强忍着 怒气，在办公室憋了一整天。回到家，一 声不吭地生闷气，瞥见儿子在玩电脑，突 然大发雷霆：你个没出息的东西，马上要 考试了，还不赶紧去看书，再让我看到你 玩电脑，老子打烂你的屁股！

同样数目的年终奖，在不同的环境下却给 人造成了截然不同的感受。因为很多人的 快乐，在很多时候，并不在于自己有多 好，而在于比别人好多少。很多的人痛 苦，在很多时候，并不在于自己有多不 幸，而在于比别人更加不幸。这种无谓的 快乐和不幸，不仅浪费了自己的精力与感 情，也使自己变得卑微与渺小。 正所谓，世上本无事，庸人自扰之。
有没有痛苦，源于你是不是计较，你快不 快乐，在于你能不能宽容。

生活有多少计较，就有多少痛苦，计较越 多，痛苦越多。计较，总是占据了心的许 多位置，堵塞了气的正常出入。 人生有几 分宽容，就有几分欢欣，宽容越多，快乐 越多。宽容总是平息着愤怒的火焰，畅通 着全身的血液，包容最好。

心若改变，你的态度跟著改变； 态度改变，你的习惯跟著改变； 习惯改变，你的性格跟著改变； 性格改变，你的人生跟著改变。
你开着奔驰宝马，肚子却顶着方向盘； （累不累） 你挂着LV包，包里装着胰岛素降压药； （苦不苦）， 你拥有百万的豪华床，却天天失眠； （气不气） 你蹲几十万的马桶，却拉不出来； （难不难） 穿着阿玛尼出门，效果不如淘宝地摊货； （冤不冤） 你虽有很多钱，却要跟医生去分享； （恨不恨） 好好爱自己，我们才是世界上，最昂贵的 产品！

1)三样东西一去不复返： 时间 生命 青春
2)三样东西毁掉一个人： 怒气 傲气 小气
3)三样东西永不放弃： 童真 理想 希望
4)三样东西最无价： 爱情 善良 友谊
5)三样东西最无常： 成功 财富 梦想
6)三样东西成就人： 天时 地利 人和
7)三样东西要珍惜： 父母 孩子 眼前人
8)三样东西做事情： 目标 方法 改善
9)三样东西交朋友： 诚信 奉献 无私
10)三样东西把握好： 机会 人生 婚姻 在顺境中感恩，在逆境中依旧心存喜乐， 认真地活在当下。不必攀比，做好自己

Bday this year was great.
Some of the notable surprise was Lyn whom I known from working at AdstraGold,
she actually remembered my bday~!! First one to whatsapp me bday wishes.
Sharon, and DQ for their gifts, muffins and chocs,
Dorothy, for editing a pic of me~~
Tai for the first who called right on the dot, hahas!
And ofcoz, to Cheuck with that Cheuck-ily msg as usual ahahs!
Together, a record breaking, 97 bday wishes,
I thank every single one that wished me,
for my life will not be complete if not for each and everyone of you~~

Then, is SS whom which I went to Phantom of the Opera.
She had the greatest gift so far,
It was non-edible, which makes it hard to satisfy my expectation,
and yet, with no social media at all she is able to hit the nail of something suited for me.
She got soaps and shampoo just nice when mine was about to finished,
and then sleeping essence as she figured I often slp late and have insomnia,
gonna try one of it right away ltr =) hahas......
So happy yet sad,
for I kow noting about her life and etc,
and she went broke for the gifts =((
never did anyone did that to me =(((
and have no idea how to spy on her too,
dont know how to surprise her,
dont know how to make her happy,
dont even know if she was ever feeling sad.....
and have very little topics to chat when with her........
=(((

Anyway, Phantom of the Opera was really great~!!!!!!!!!!
The props is really awesome!!
Esp the big chandelier!! and the Lair~!!!! the boat!! the candles!!!
The masquerade!!! the magic in the end where Phantom vanishes!!!
Arhhhh soooo coooool!!! Hoped they had a marathon to link to Love Never Dies......

Although a self bday treat, had a great time experience Phantom with SS.... =)

It was lousy week to begin week.
On Mon, my event flopped,
I screwed up on stage,
everything was changed, ruined,
my jokes had little effect,
I simply blew it all........

On Tue,
was so unhappy,
whole day mood was very bad,
reached home at 3 and slp till 7,
in fact today slp for the whole day too.

Was extremely disappointed that the thought of shutting it down can so easily cross your mind.
I knew this day would come, never expecting it would come from her.
It's like that's something I am so against of,
just like how I hated couples saying "break up" or spouses saying "divorce" so easily,
like the idea of that so taken for granted, as if no ties were made no consequences would come,
Though might not have the real intention,
but still I so loathed it, LOATHED,
for I wont say something that absolute unless I really mean it.....

Worst than fuck or any other vulgarities.
What is worst? Of no priority from members?
Or the idea, the parasite, the yeast, of such preposterous thought
could surface??.... esp after the effort and all.......
And I was just about to shift my focus into it,
for I have thought of trying to give it a shot,
that it might be something that will stay by my side
20 years down the road,
I dont mind if there are restructuring,
but to completely dissolve.....
Utter-less!

Sigh....... anyway, its resolved.........
yet a nail nailed into a wooden door,
could not be undone,
I think, it's time I find myself again.......
for the room might soon be gone...

Where do I truly belongs?
Where could I dwell long?
Where would I find that song?
Where might I not be wrong?

Today test was easy, I actually "studied" the test on the test itself hahas, read through the pages word by word, and somehow confident to score for it! hahas.

Well, that's all I guess, this week gonna be busy for the next few days, with visit to JL, race pack collections and running man event.

Today halfway through the lesson, Samy posted something that caught my attention so much!

"It happens like this. One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else - closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel - one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them - even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering - the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.

Though here is a word of warning - you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn’t to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more."

Yes I totally agree. Sometimes, strangers are no stranger than closed friends that one day become strangers, in fact, strangers might be friends yet to know. The difference, is the awkwardness, and all the great memories shared, and those seemingly-ever-lasting conversations that one day ran out and fell into the abyss of silence.

Was watching The Voice videos, linked from listening to season 2 US the Voice where Adam Levine and coaches sang "Time Of Your Life". The song is so fitting as it was the last episode, and the song goes like "I hope you had a time of your life". It's like the "angels" are going away after fulfilling the purpose. It's like its another fork road, and time to go separate ways, and thus thankful for all the times we had. At the very least, I hope you had the best times with me.

Then it was the UK version where it covered the Beatles song, "With a Little Help From My Friends"

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
 Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.

What do I do when my love is away
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day,
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

These few days ate my meals by myself, either that or the person with me had restrictions to join me eating, and thus no matter how great was the food, it just seems like something good enough to fill the stomach, and loses all its taste, presentation and aroma.

Well, that day had a great lunch with Mum at Canton Paradise, I got her to roam around as she had not been there. Beside us was a huge family of 8, eating on one table. Sometimes, these scenes kindda made me envy such big family. I remembered the family portrait of my relative years ago, 30+ of them across 4 generations. I was mesmerized, and was reflecting why arent we close to our relatives, why do we have conflicts even among our own people, why is it that people have huge reunions, and we only had 3 people, with a simple meal, because it's not worth a huge table, and my dad is still as prudent as ever. I planned, to have all 4 of our family, Bedok Wushu, to have a big feast, 15 people, if all could make it, plus SX, to have a reunion dinner on Jo's 21st bday cum cny.

Was looking back at old photos, at least, I'm happy enough, to have big feasts on Xmas, with cell and wushu and BDS. Ofcoz, it all boils down to myself, whether I am even willing to make things happen. For this, I think a friend of mine is still more successful than me, he is able to manipulate with effort, for things to happen in his way.

Yet then again, quoting the drama with Chen Li Ping and Zhen Hui Yu, 2 successful women, no matter how hard they fight in life, how much they try to control their lives, with calculations, predictions and plannings, in the end, there are still accidents in life, and things often dont work out as they planned.

As we go through life we'll see
There is so much that we
Dont understand.

And the only things we know
Is things dont always go
The way we planned. 

C'est La Vie~~ 
Epistemically, Wisdom is a balance between certainly and doubt. 
It is the knowledge between truth and beliefs, 
that distinguished between things we cannot change and things we can,
and that decides whether we should approach them with serenity or courage. 

This week, I skipped school on Mon as usual, accompanied CH, JL and WK to swim, apparently they all do not know how to swim, not to mention DQ too, but he was grounded. For all these while, I think this is the only time I brought some knowledge of some sort into his life, and I got a huge feeling he is someone that will take a big part of my life in the next one year. As for the previous, shall leave it for other people to carry on "nurturing", for there is always something new to be learnt from each and every person.

Sometimes, I think life for me is like education system, after we "graduate" from a person, it's like a level, we would then be promoted to more complicated level (person), but sometimes we have extra compulsory waste time courses here and there to make life more interesting and de-stress (fillers). Hahas. Either that or being a teacher in the system, to take on different batch of students with different levels of absorption. Then the principal will throw us into some upgrading courses (meeting adults or wise experienced people).

Then on Tue, after work, I drank with a patron. So we were happily chatting, and she mentioned, "Sometimes you are blessed with certain advantages because there are more problems for you to solve". I couldnt sleep that night. Great power great responsibility. What would a life of normal people would be? Could I had been a normal person instead? What made me different? Some are inert characteristics that changed my life situation, some are learnt, some are due to environmental causes, some due to other people's choices or influence. Normal people could grow in tough environment, but tough environment could change to be better by "better" people.... So does the environment shapes character or the character shapes environment? I thought through my life, all the happenings that brought me in this state all the regrets, all the stories. Could I be like normal teens, hanging out with popular kids, partying all night, spending money over entertainments and celebrities, care about rs and studies, nothing more? Less worried about the future, about the burden?

Some people believed that our responsibility towards closed ones are just ensuring shelter and survival, and perhaps to inspire them to do great in life, and nothing more, but after awhile, the emotional attachment would cause one to start lavishing love on them, and starts spoiling them, and leads to increased burden, increase liability, and etc. Yet, especially when they are older, when they are starting to learn to be independent, your heart aches to see the struggle or the incapability, and you start carrying everything on your shoulders again. Seriously, teach a man to fish and he could feed himself for a lifetime.

"Sometimes we are so attached to our own way of lives that return down wonderful opportunities just simply because we do not know what to do with it" - Paulo Coelho

Especially in later age, to find comfort in status quo and the reluctant or fear of learning is the cause of deteriorating form of ageing process. They no longer have the drive and passion to venture already. Sometimes it's hard to talk to them, yet incapable to provide anything for them nonetheless. After all, I'm still dependent.

So anyway, skipped work for Samy to watch Despicable Me 2!! Wondering if I should queue for the toys at Macs tmr.....

Then, on my way home, helped a random stranger translated her msg from chinese to english, looks like there are innocent naive girls being conned into being PR guarantors of expensive stalls that the predator could use their names to loan money and run away, leaving debts under the responsibilities of these names. Careful out there!! Despicable scheme!! again, it's funny how some things even a child could spot, but adults couldnt? Often leads me to think what are all these people for? We are here to help people,  what are other people here for? I have no idea. It's really like what the chinese believed, bystanders sees the clearest, the player will be trapped in the labyrinth of illusion.

Test tomorrow, I have no idea what it is about, gonna whack and rely on luck!
Fri there will be 2 long essay due, I have no idea how to get over it, but oh well....
Hakuna Matata!! All is Well!!!! The boat will be naturally straight at the habour!!!

The week passed.
Sat sun nothing much happened.
Fri we had a cell movie outing,
Monster University.

Quite a great day spent, everything was good.

Well, today...... Gordon Ramsey challenge!!!
My prediction were right, that he most probably would beat the chilli crab,
but laksa is hard to beat since he isnt asian, and chicken rice is impossible to beat.

Well, spent really really much these days,
I seriously do not know what to do for my remaining days.

Anyway, yea,
thinking back, before I left for home today,
the last phrase I said to a friend is, "我该走了", "Time for my departure"
Hmm, in literature sense this is a big sign of foreshadow?
The cycle repeats, close, very close,
interfere studies, tease, rs, ta-da.......
Hmmm........

Though it will not be too soon,
he's gonna focus on his N,
I told him wait till next year
he got half a year......
But till then would he be affected for O?
But till then would anyone change?
But till then would my prediction be right?
GASP

Watched the Dating show on TV,
there are those that put exaggerated efforts for a girl,
yet the girl is apathetic.
But again, if one is so crazy about someone they havent even interact with,
is it really love? and in the end he held hands with one random girl.
Then to the girl who claimed that in a date all expenses should be on the guy,
thats not really fair? I cant imagine the financial ratio in her future.

Watched Romeo Juliet that day for Leonardo Di Caprio,
I seriously think thats the very beginning of all modern romance,
all the mushy stuffs and blind infatuations.
Then watched the channel 8 drama,
a girl was happy that at the time she needed her bf, he is not there,
though I have yet to see the details,
but my first impression is that is it possible?
By social support model under task-specificity,
proximity, long term commitment and experience should be considered.
Thus not everything must rely on the spouse,
that will greatly shut a major arc of the view span.

To the point I think we should first find a perfect spouse that fits all criteria,
then set your mind straight to love the spouse wholeheartedly,
place the spouse priority, but not shutting off the others,
then, be honest, and brace through the journey..........

To find that is really a haystack needle,
and many times, through emptiness,
we tend to be agitated and bashful,
resulting in failed rs,
and thus im soooo flabbergasted by someone
who took an oath of not going into rs,
despite her age (30+).

It's really a form of putting fate in His hands,
and show respect and surrender to Him.

Plenty of thoughts going on in my head, 
shall not think of anything less than great,
it will just be another day and night,
discard everything until the morning light........

A new term, a whole new journey in front of me.

The week started with working at AdstraGold Microbrewey.
I had a good start.

However, as time passes, I messed up things here and there. =(

Well, gonna do something big in my job now, gonna start proposing ideas and getting them rolled out. Supposed to look into an investment opportunity on the site at East Coast, 40m x 17m space!!!!!! Sigh.... no money, no investor.

School projects are coming as well. School is a real big barrier now, since nothing much new knowledge is gained, rather expand my horizons on field. Zumba proposal had no reply. This week kindda sucked.

Well, tmr is fri again, time passes not too slow this week.
Hmm, well in wushu I think there are some problems here and there,
one of them I would like to highlight is the response towards a trainee.
Basically, this trainee is irregular, and now last minute want to go competition.

Weird, I was expecting positive reaction,
but they seemed fed up and irritated.
Shouldnt we should be encouraging them participating instead?
Werent that your goal in the first place?
Werent that an objective?

I dont know,
I think, it's really time for this to have a closure for me.
I will just be focusing on the Fri class,
and shall not enter any other responsibilities anymore.

Though revived Bedok CC,
but I guess in the end I see no passion in the next generation.
I find it no point struggling like fish on shore dog in water,
attendance is by "force" or "dutiful",
no passion, no bond,
just like any other social groups around me.

The mediacorp show had this line,
"better to find someone that loves you more than you love the person."
I guess it does not apply onto to love.
Sometimes, if you love too much, your expectation is greater,
then, you wont feel happy.
When it is time, the last love, is to let go~

Well, though having soooo many social groups in my life,
In the end, I do think being me myself and I is kindda cool,
can do what I like, sing when I can,
no rejection no haters no judgers,
full freedom, me and me, and freedom......
Hakuna Matata~ 

Guess I might be the next~~~ lone ranger~~~ Johnny Yap hahahs ! =)

Watched the new drama series, Dream Makers. Basically is about the celebrity circle, and all the problems they faced. What I particularly like is the acting of Chen Li Ping and Zheng Hui Yu, I think they both portrayed the characters really well. 2 strong women in the light of the public, both have to maintain their image, status, and thus put up a strong front all the time. They have a kind of healthy rivalry yet in the end cared for each other. They really act well. Supporting them are Guo Liang, I liked the part where he acted normally and lovingly in front of KangLi despite him having affair. Reminds me of someone. Then, ofcoz, Chen Han Wei, as much as I hated his acting, I think he fits the role of a happy free person hiding his past.

That's rather true for fame, people often wears too much masks that they lost their sense of identity.

In the mundane world, everyone wears a mask in his life. What is more tragic is not the inability to pull off one’s mask but forgetting that one is still wearing it. How many people have lost themselves, yet do not have the courage to seek their original self? - Wiki

I told a friend the other day, I told him that I think my whole life is a lie. I lied to anyone everyone so casually to hide stuffs or to find benefits, or simply to engage in conversations. Often so, I cant remember what I said, and dont recall what they said either, as they might be weaving up tales as well.

I also often lie to my parents, especially about my expenses. I often give them the image that I and a great money spender, a spendthrift, but in actual fact I think 30%-40% of my expenses are not for myself. Ofcoz, lately, I have been indulging in luxury lifestyle, due to the cutting down on social commitments.

I do admire someone's frankness. To be honest, I bridged into his privacy a few times, and realized he has been very frank with me, and thus I stopped, he earned my trust, though I adopted a malicious way, but then again, he might be the one knowing everything, acting as a fool, like "Now You See Me", yet I choose to trust him. He is still very naive and angelic. I told him the other day though, that when it comes to business, dont even ask me to partner along, because it's better to keep friends out of business, money can lure people into evil, and the one that could hurt the most, is the very best friend.

Anyway, some time back, I came across a great answer as to why is it that only when we are really in a dire state would some divine intervention would show some miracle.

The answer is : Wait.

Wait is hebrews is Quwah, alternatively means weaving the threads of a rope.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

So what are the threads, the threads consist of all the relationships we have. Be it broken and tied with knots, or weak and thin threads, when we intertwine all these together, it could accomplish great things. Thats social network. With the increasing use of technology, we are more and more interconnected, and things are done more efficiently and with more participation.

Wait also means to Abide, to Hold On and Observe, to Tarry.

Sometimes, heaven waits,

so that we could learn the futility of our toils,

that we surrender to faith in the end,

and realized who we really are,

where we really belong at.

Therefore, we increase our Bandwidth,

to hear clearly with the right frequency,

to download fast and be fruitful,

to efficiently distribute our time and increase our capacity of task.

Something strikes me, again in line with everything I did last week and the prayer from a friend,

"Even youths grow tired and weary, 

 and young men stumble and fall."

So we gotta renew our strengths.... then

"They will soar on wings like eagles; 

 they will run and not grow weary, 

 they will walk and not be faint."

My strength is renewed by the result of my toils, the smiles of gratitude, the witness of my impact. 

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another. The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in one another. - Thomas Merton

Well, another week passed.
It was a week of transition from holiday to school.

On Mon, I met with a senior, and had lots of information and inspirations, for that I decided to come out with a Zumba class myself. So some time this week I am submitting the proposal to the CC for the approval. This is where program planning knowledge helped me a lot for Needs Analysis and Market Research, as well as Evaluation of Past Programs. That previous night, we were called for last minute mask distribution to neighbours. Despite the rule of "only distribute to PEOPLE WITH DIFFICULTY", I have all the residents that wanted the mask, even if they are as fit as bull. Seriously, if do not give to people who can walk, then what is the point of distributing? Oh yes, that sun morning, went to Mummy's Exhibition at Art Science museum, hahas, to fulfill the wishes of those 2.

On Tue, wushu as usual, before that met a group of skilled badminton players, DQ's friends, would like to play often. Sadly I skipped class.

Wed I went school finally, for Event Planning. Then, find him for Bak Kut Teh and Pork Belly. Hahas, then spend the day there. That night, we went to queue for the Hello Kitty. Then, a thought came across that the left over meals can be distributed to the homeless around my area. WD and DQ helped, it was pass midnight. This lifted me so much! I remembered buying milo for one of them, now is distributing McDonald's for them! I think they hit jackpots hahas! Though disturbed their sleep, they received the food with open arms. Really really happy that half of the food is distributed, should had given them 2 portions each! Sigh. This encouraged me to actually think of buying chicken rice for them every month, or any other variety that they might not try before in their lifetime.

Thur, school as usual, dreadful, that halfway through I went to DQ house to settle eBay stuffs, and had a loooong loooong nap, and then entertained the girls, singing the night away.

Fri was usual again, wushu was okay, before that CH came to support me of my audition for Jack Neo's Lion Man. Just go there for fun, then had a sort of buffet at YaYoiKen due to its free flow rice. Oh yes we met with YQ too, like finally after a month!

Sat is Lin's house gathering, then church, then Thio Li Ann talk about Pan-sexuality.
Sun its home all day, and work at Microbrewery.
After that supper with family since they refused to go Taste Paradise for lunch and mum insisted me stay home taste her spaghetti.

Somehow my programs seems to be in lined. 

First, a friend commented that I am filled with poor people in my life.
Then, I was reminded about Love Mercy, giving to poor and the YWAM movement.
Then, I was reminded He who gives to the poor lends to the Lord.
Then, it's the joy of giving to poor.
Then, the song, "Love dares you to care for the people on the EDGE OF NIGHT", Under Pressure
Then, it's profiting from sales, though till date only earned back the cost.
Then, I was reminded to Wait.
Then, I was reminded that He will complete what he began.
And then the song, "complete the work you started", Reaching for you

Then, in Lin's house, someone prayed, "may all that habour unhappy feelings towards each other learn to love". hmm..... talking about me? I mean, dont know why, kindda gave up in this group too, not a strong pillar. As I last year predicted, in the end will left few of us only. But anyway, they seems fine, still enjoying, laughing, catching up, after a long status quo. But dont know leh, if in a cell, people hides stuffs, refuse to face problems together, what is the point? I see no point, thus I'm just physically there, nothing more than that. Rather, with no ties, I am able to do whatever I want freely, caring for the streets and more. Then again, thin water runs longer, who knows........ who knows....... but always envying other groups' friendships, and etc, how they do things together, understand each other well, bracing through difficulties together... etc.... Oh well, hermit, hermits unite! hahas, once in a while gather seems to be fine to me already, I stopped having that stubborn mindset of having to catching up anyone everyone all the time, to the point I am often lazy to do so. But I missed Nick's bday!!!!!!!!

Ofcoz, not all is bad, someone prayed for strength that I could continue doing what I do and not burnout. That through all the rejects and futile efforts i am able to hold on. Well, true I cant help everyone, but at least I made a difference. I am happy enough that way, I think my energy time and resources could be better spent blessing random people, a there wont be any ties made.

Then again, academically, I failed repeatedly towards someone............. sigh.........
couldnt find anyone to have enough impact and motivation and willingness to be disciplined,
to help him in his focus in his academic, when his N lvls is coming...........