the week is done~!! wooo hooo~~!!!

 really happy, on thur night i rushed my bbfin assignment, then there comes the good news of the essays deadline extended to monday. however, bad news came on sat where johann say the medals were not ready so i rushed to do a certificate, and rushed to tampines to get them print. a night we prepared for the grading, then on sun we had grading. then, after the celebratory lunch sponsored largely by uncle ben, i went back to interview uncle shao guang for work project.

today after submission of essay, I stumbled across the shop where i saw the similar cups sx gave us.

some background info, long ago, sx gave 4 of us a cup each, with a phrase suited to our personality. 勤奋，难得糊涂，舍得 and 学无止境. So then I decided to buy another 4 for the next batch of 4 students, Edmund, Youlian, Wayne and Chen Lei, hmm, should call youlian scott and give another name to chen lei, sounds cooler haha. Anyway, so I decided the following:

家和万事兴 - hopefully he can find peace in his immediate family, and extend out to the different groups of people he have out there =) as much as he finds many faults and unfair treatments in this world, hopefully he can learn to let it go and accept the world as it it, seek loyalty, trust and dependability, and grow big in the families for the families along side with the families.

学海无涯 - 书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟 hopefully he can achieve greater understanding in the world of knowledge, may he find wisdom and insights of a higher level to the rest of the people, and to have a brain capacity to absorb all its richness for usage. He has known this phrase very well just as I have heard mine countless times, but it was long before I actually could relate to it and gain more understanding of it. Hopefully he will do the same. 

奋斗 - 无论是平地还是山尖，只要是鲜花盛开的地方，都是蜜蜂的领地 hopefully he can continue to endeavor and reach his potential, you can never know how far you can go until you have gone too far, he needs motivation, like bees, as long as there are fresh flowers, no matter where is it, it will go towards it, one may wonder why all these efforts? he shall venture, he shall discover, he shall understand.

拼搏 - 三分天注定，七分靠打拼，爱拼才会赢 hopefully he can remain competitive and strive to achieve what he wants, in terms of wushu and also his studies. Have outstanding performance and improvements, though started off with a harsh comment of him being naturally not capable of achieving great heights, he is hardworking and do not rest on his accomplishments. I hope we can continue to drill him instead of seeping the slack culture into him anymore.

I hope that they will cherish it as I have cherished the one sx gave me, and would keep them going in wushu and in life, I really look forward for them to take over wushu and bring it to a new kind of prosperity and achievements. I hope they could bond with each other well and stay on as the elite 4 of bedok. =)

Then my parents commented again, saying Im always doing extra things for nothing, not being appreciated, no signs of returns etc.... sigh, it kindda brainwashed me thinking it might be true, that i dont get much things back in return, even though i love almost anything and everything as long as it could be displayed and collected? preferably with some meaning or intention to it? but yea, its just that my expectation is too high, it just that I have the fetish to collect, but no place to display, so I shall give them out for people to take care of it for me =) at times I do feel disappointed though, maybe its because i feel i could do or give better?

From Yahoo:

The research demonstrates that a minimum of five friends and colleagues are now required to share out our problems and get useful advice from.

An agony aunt figure with whom we can share our problems, tops the list.

Secondly, we need some loved one who would put an arm around us and provide the quintessential emotional support.

The third most important friend is someone who can help us out with financial matters and advise us how to save money.

And fourth is a knowledgeable friend or family member we can turn to for advice on life's practical matters.

The fifth most important person one should have is a colleague we can look to for help and advice in the workplace, according to the study by Nationwide Building Society.

I guess due to the technological advancement,my Aunt Agony is facebook or blogging? Its like no one actually cares, and only those who cares matters, and probably some that just wanna throw a pinch of salt on agony-me. Ive been blogging ever since sec 1, the time where I still do not open up to people, and probably feel as much as now, just more naive. This is like a platform where I could reside in serenity, vomiting whatever I feel and thought, and do not need to be responsible for it? I guess whatever virtual is subjected to biasness and skewed perspectives, why bother?  

So far I havent found the 2nd person, probably its harder to find one as a guy, you know, easily mis-associated into homosexuals and such...... Touch and intimacy is something too touchy especially for a man, guess thats how society works, men supposed to be strong and all....... sigh, I find me so feminine.

Third person, perhaps I found him =) and 4th, I have many of them actually, but all appears as a senior, as someone to look up to, role models, not really as a friend kind. And ofcoz, its a gift to be someone's 4th person, and I hope I could be the one to certain people in my lives, perhaps this works in vice versa too, that the "giver' needed the "recipient" to be able to give. Giving is a joy. =) Fifth, hmm, probably not yet, but if sch is work, probably have a few, mostly contactable through fb too, or email directly to tutor.  

I guess I really needed someone to sing to me: 

Winter, spring, summer, or fall, 

all you have to do is call 
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
You've got a friend.


I have always wondered, how far would the people in my life go for me? Been analyzing, been predicting, been fantasizing. Anyone else wondered, why do people like us tend to put ourselves out of a setting, like in happy times, we tend to picture what would it be like if we were not there, and like instead dissociate us with any group, and observe their interaction, then feel bad because we feel we do not contribute to the laughter or joy or happiness or simply the dynamics enough. 


I think the notion of friend-zone and lonely-zone is really trending. Im thinking perhaps to make a song or poetry out of it. I guess this is the modern common feeling everyone has to a certain extent. The emptiness, the lost, the fear, the unsure, the weary.....


I suddenly thought of writing a script similar to Momento sequence, start from the end where couple got married, but face not seen, behavior and voice known only. There will be a voice over of him speaking, that the moment he closes his eyes, all his memories vanish, only left with events, and him inside, with the people around him remained only as silhouettes, cant even remember his wife image. Then start from beginning, of how 2 people, each different story line meets into 1 story line, then sequence jumps back and forth, keeping audience questions why is the behavior of bride different, why is the bride another person, etc etc. Then it turns out that the guy is a photographer, only could recall certain memories through pictures, and then the climax is when a 3rd party faked memories into him, and replaced his memory, with him living in oblivion. It would be cool!

Weekends passed again!

It was only Fri when all the hustles of the week just passed, with consultation going smoothly, essay submitted on time, broken sanjiegun problem was solved by borrowing from francis in rv, and then the competition on Sat and etc etc. Now its almost Mon!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, the competition was a disappointment, in terms of the organizing. However, it is still interesting. The organiser somehow actually arranged several people competing on the same carpet, eg nan quan 4 by 4, weapons 2 by 2, so its really interesting how some competitors react when knowing they need the space, or their routines clash, or simply how they complement each other or even "conquering" each others base esp Ba Gua Zhang haha. But yes, everything is over, I thank Jorgen especially for coming full day, to the extend we cycled from Tanah Merah to my house Eunos at midnight for that. To some extent, I really really really wouldnt want to lose this awesome friend. Normally I go the extra miles for others, he is one of the few that even surpasses the few close friends I have. But I find my actions at times too "unworthy" for him, like times where I felt I left him out in a group. Sat was one example. I thank Serb and Dequan too for coming down, be it to support me or Edmund haha. I think I had successful did the jump part, but due to the change of sanjiegun the rest of my routine is affected, and a knock on my head did me a 8.53 =) top 10% percentile of whole event I suppose. 

Today, I was so pissed because as me retrieve our certificates, there is lots of confusion because of wrong categories and wrong or missing names. Then, I was one of them, so I registered later than KY and CL, but I got the cert first. Then this bitch came out and asked everyone, who are doing things smoothly, to leave. I was so angry I wanted to find trouble. It was their fault for lousy organisation, then they just escape from problems. Sigh. Luckily sx managed to talk to some big shot people that could have access to their room and helped us sign. I see that gleam in CL face =) haha. 

Sigh. Well, it was all over, I went to visit BW and stroll along the lake there, catching nice shots of the sky and scenery.

Tomorrow gotta start on BBFin and Work project =) back to reality =( another week of madness before grading and still hesitating for the upcoming flashmob.......

So today I discussed the issue that sometimes we use each other for benefits, thats a harsh fact, but as much as we hate it, I guess if someone else were to be able to give your friend more happiness than you, then we should congrats them that they connect with each other better than we could. As long as the person is happy, everything else is secondary. =) Nice being the bridge too, 6 degrees of separation anyway, eventually we are all interconnected, like train stations along a train track, everything just keeps changing, the only constant is change, and perhaps photographs, to keep the memories, the moments, the time when we all are who we were then.  

Today was my birthday. Sch started at 9am due to consultation, it went lousy, but at least its constructive. So the day went on, chatting with group and doing work here and there, and read up n the essay to be dued this thur. Then I went home for a rest before meeting up with cell people. Ofcoz not all turn up. Then, they tagged along to wushu training. J was there too again, hmm, I do not know how to teach him butterfly kick..... I wished I could, I noticed he would always wait patiently for me. I was rarely treated this way. I think this year is where I realised these awesome people in my life that I almost missed, CH, JL, and perhaps KY for he msged me to meet up before the meet, but in the end I didnt. =(

Today I received 122 FB wishes, 11 smses. Really grateful for each and everyone of them, I actually took the pains to type the thanks one by one. Serb surprises me by an impromptu cake haha =)  Awesome people. Well, guess thats all for my 18? Really simple and plain. Grateful especially those that smsed, esp a sec sch mate, really took up the extra mile to do that. Though ofcoz, my usual critique mind would nag at me for being too simple, I shall be glad. Looking back, those memorables are perhaps the KTV with Nicole, Food Tour, and the Bash. Low cost, though fun, but well, not sure, it all dont seem "happy" enough. Perhaps nothing really makes me happy? So then I thought back, all those I have spent on them, are they really happy for what they have received? Do they still keep the cards? the poetry? the gifts? Suddenly I feel even such an important occasion such as birthdays are so superficial too. However, that wont stop me from planning and gifting, cuz its just who I am.

Competition coming, and yea Im so looking forward so KY's glory =) and CL's, these 2 are so promising! Ahh my heart literally beats for them, I want a qi kai de sheng, to penetrate into the wushu realm at first try. Tomorrow gonna have steamboat with Lin =)

Sun was unexpectedly fun today.

But first and foremost, gotta archive what I did for last week. SO son wed I was supposed to accompany Jo for the 5km run but due to the clashing timing of my class I asked DQ and J instead. Anyway, yea it was one whole crazy day, I was amazed I could pass through that 3km without stopping...... Uncle Old Liao......

Thur was test, didnt really studied for it so nothing to say about it, I got a feeling my concept is wrong, its BBFin. Oh Well.

Fri we had training, I wanted to skip, till I remembered that I have to teach Wayne and Youlian. Before that I went to rest at J house. Oh, that fateful training.... we were tempted to eat prata bcuz KY ate his instant noodles haha, so we stayed on to eat prata. So while happily eating and chatting, the boi from the cool family beside us suddenly commented that Tai ate too much sugar. So then we started off talking about how to cut down on sugar, and other kiddy stuffs, then ventured into more educational topics like how do you cool down a bottle of coke at a beach with no ice. Also, how to avoid being stung by jelly fish by bare hands. I really admired that family. They came back from Gardens by the Bay, and the mother was so educational and passionate on these educational and practical wisdom that she was explaining to the boi. Though ofcoz she did not touch in depth as to the extend of the theories of evaporation and mixed liquid lower heat capacity, but she would slowly explain how it works with simple terms. Suddenly I thought, yea, this would be the kind of wife I would like to get in the future, and how blessed are they to obtain such cute boi, full of creativity and curiosity. This is totally the opposite of those parents who condemn their children by comments such as "why ask stupid questions?".

Oh then, we had some torturous times trying to gobble down the coke as we just had curry in our stomach. Haha. Oh and due to these, we actually missed Jo's last 45 to his home. SO we walked to reservoir for him to take 21. and then I went back to Bedok to get Tai's bike to go J house. He actually waited till 1.20am for me.... really touched and really appreciative.

On sat, I went to the teachers meeting of pop excel. Ive learnt more about our church, as well as about myself, and other stuffs. P Jac hit the nail right on with her every unintentional comments and prayers. She mentioned about the role of a social butterfly to link people together, and then leave to them to form that in depth relationship and friendship. Which is true, like currently, I see DQ and J on the piano, really brings joy to my heart. She also mentioned ofcoz, that I have little friends I can fully trust upon, and that I should be feeling lonely inside. Then yea, I told her about a friend who suddenly gave me bracelet, invite me to event, etc. So its like that, these are the ones who really cared about me, who bothered to initiated to meet up without me organizing it. Ofcoz, some people in my life are doing that. =) im really glad, means they did put an effort to maintain a friendship. So yes, as I withdrew more from the one initiating, I think Ive gained quite some insights and truth in life.

Then yea, I proceed to rush for wushu committee meeting. Damn joke, at the last part of the meeting Jo was like for the next meeting, try not be punctual, try not to have stomach ache, then I added, "like trying to eat curry with coke"... haha =) though we are still the earliest 4. =p

Ok, so then I went over to chat with cell members, then joined them for dinner at Bedok Point. Right after that, I went to the Bond n Bike event with Jorgen, not knowing about all the blacknwhite stuffs, indemnity forms and audio consent, etc, and not allowing extra participants due to the overwhelming response, and safety, and not above 21... etc....

SIgh. So I took the shirt and just hang around and withdrew from it. We went around east side to eat and etc until it was 2am, and we are stuck outside his house cuz he didnt bring his wallet, we got to resort to sleep beside pool again haha. Oh then sun.........

Nice surprise, everything happens for a reason, I was surprised HZ came, so I passed my camera to Tai for her to take photos, which then just nice they used it for my bday surprise on the roof. Woah, though the actions are not video-ed down, I shall right a exaggerated and detailed essay of that. It was totally dramatic, got parts where tai threw a high pass to sx to smash on me, and how Jo hulk smashed on me, and tai assasinated me........ ahha =) It was all fun. JiaoLian seemed to be in good mood today. =) After that we crafted Sheng's and Jo's spears. Oh, for the surprise, I gotta especially thank KY, for surprisingly be the one who chose the cool bday gift of the watergun. Also, nick for appearing surprisingly and did all the tying of the water balloons. HZ ofcoz for coming down for me~!!!!!!!!! and yes, the B4 ppl hahahahha =) =)

What a tiring weekend, as usual. I think I had loads of fun, back to reality again on Mon. =( well, all the best, gotta focus both on sch and on competition, I really have a lot of faith in KY to excel in his fanzi =) other than that, shall stay tuned for all the upcoming surprises and miracles coming. One thing sadly though, is that the dinner was canceled. But yes, I loved this weekend. =) simple and fun. Well, this was the most exp gift I had so far. They say you would feel disappointed cuz you could do it better, but then, I think im already on cloud nine for such a "class" of gift already. =) right, for the best to come! ciao!!

indeed another week.

well that last week after the malaysia trip, I was emailed by mala about the absence in lecture. But in the end I told her about flashmob and malaysia, apologized to her, yet sadly to say, today, due to catching Alvin's bball match, I broke my promise again. Sigh. double appointment. I thought that well Alvin should be looking forward to see me there, as if a son hoping that the father would make time to see his achievement just for a moment despite the busy schedule. I thought of the I not Stupid scene: "Dad, how much do you earn an hour? I wish to buy an hour of your time to see my performance"

I was procrastinating the last week, pushing things here and there, until sunday then I started to chiong again, and I prioritized these 2 days to stay at home until completion of all my assignments.

Looks like another week has passed.

Perhaps its the routine boring life ever since poly life started and mum left for indo that I did not have the inspiration or modd to blog. However there are highlights of the week. The first was ofcoz the BayBeats 2012 at Esplanade, where it is a 3 day events where local bands showcase their talents and hope to gain support from public. The genre range from acoustic to rock, and even to hardcore rock at the end, by some HK band. We went for the first 3 shows and the last 3. I actually bought an album from Rachael Teo, as I felt her lyrics do speaks into my heart. It was exactly how I felt, at times or more. Shall post up the lyrics probably few days later.

Then, it was Flashmob on Sat. Before that, had a great time chatting with classmate after discussing project related stuffs. Flashmob was really awesome. Initially I was hesitant to go, since there is no one accompanying me. However then since I have been alone at home for a week, I actually felt a need for a great time to change an environment. Perhaps to prevent burnout from happening again.  So this is a really fun group, we were so high that day especially after the first major success of flashmob. In the end I joined in all the fun doing the "Sexy and I Know It" too, we even did it to hawker audiences and street passer bys. Some times, we climbed onto structures to dance too haha. It was a moment like in those dance movies, where dance is a form of free expression, like birds chirping or sun shining, totally unrestricted to show off what they are. Anyway, there was a cosplay march too, and then I actually caught Jayesslee concert there~!! and managed to took a few brilliant shots =)

On Sun, I went to Heart of God Church for Jayesslee 2nd round =) then to BayBeats. It was rather an interesting experience to be on the first row of such crazy concerts, with high pitched dragging notes and hardcore rock, and even people being tossed up and etc. Really wild, never seen before. But luckily that was juz for that moment, my ears felt like being clamped by Muthu. 

And so monday came.......... monday blues as usual? CH came in the morning, then after school I went home to prepare for Malaysia trip.

Today, malaysia trip was fun and enjoyable. Due to the rain, we cancelled our initial plan to go Desaru, so we went for a shopping spree, we started off with the usual City Square, then to KSL, then Holiday, and lastly Jusco. Along the way we met lots of funny and cute people. We started off from the bus stop on way to KSL. where a sgrean auntie offered to share a cab since the rain is beyond walking possibility. Thus, we caught this taxi in the middle of a jammed road. So the uncle was initially pissed, but then the auntie was like, 氺带財....... and lots of other jokes, that the taxi was flooded with laughter and swept away the anger and tense atmosphere. 

Next, it was the sales aunties, I bargained to this 2 students, probably grads, and had a fun time haha. Then after that we asked directions, only to find a good auntie from some car repair centre, offering us drinks and direction, and even offered to call cab for us which we rejected to save cost. Anyway, the last auntie was the cross stitch auntie. I took some time to prob questions, and just have a chat, since her shop was really remote, and the sight of her alone stitching is like the 慈母手中线 feeling. 

Anyway, in total, I think Ive spent close to 400 RM for all my shopping items. Again, gotta thank J for accompany me to this crazy journey to malaysia by our ownselves. Haha, along the way everyone was saying how blessed is his fit body shape, and etc........ then yea, after we returned, I was feeling abit sad since no one actually bothered to sms me and all that, and most of my sms i gotta initiate, except Alvin, really thankful for him too! Then again, perhaps its my fault too since to think about it, I dont think I could sustain conversation, looking at the style of normal "teen conversation"......... too.... dont know how to say.......

So thats for today, briefly, tasted lots of awesome food too, now gota sleep and come back to reality. I really enjoyed these times sort-of-alone, in few getaways to the world =) venture and have fun, we different. Mooncake festival is coming, normally thats the loneliest moment I could ever feel in a year, probably cuz of the poetry, and the bright shining moon. However, shall not think too far yet, looking forward what could happen in my bday. I shall try something different, I shall just go around nearby drinking coffee and and eating and see if people bothered to give me surprise etc........ =) after all its my 18th =) like yes though last year was quite fun, but then, to accumulate what I had for my bday, I think its not very costly nor taxing..... But okay, maybe its just me again. Haha I think Im more envious and jealous nowadays compared to last year and onwards, I think this year had lots of major changes in me.