Been helping my parents swipe their lucky draw at the MBS daily.

Besides that, worked for Bus Stop, Tuition and AdstraGold.

Today, as I cab to bus stop, I met this 68 years old taxi uncle, who turns out to be a BBTC member as well. He shared a lot of amazing testimonies during his ministry life, and then he mentioned he is going for missionary to Philippines. Really an amazing person, although not rich, he actually made time and offered volunteerism and finance for missionaries. So this time they are targeting 100 families outreached, impacted and transformed. GBU!

Yepp, these acts that made me have hope in humanity. =)

Thats basically all that happened so far.

Oh yes, for quite some time Ive been pondering, whether all is worth it?
In terms of wushu.

It's like I now have a very different styles of teaching, different sets of thinking. So now the question is whether what I am doing is even part of WushuHub. A friend commented that it is becoming like a division already. But that's not what I want, I would like like all of them to be under one big WushuHub family. Last time when we had several branches, there are also different styles of teaching anyway.

Well, the issue now is about me teaching a trainee staff.

Firstly, I thought that sx already said he will be teaching him, so in my perspective, why not start now? Since he interested, dont kill the interest.

Secondly, so even if I mention I will be teaching him, but sx says wait, then what for ask?

Thirdly, another trainee had voiced interest about staff, though I havent start anything, I wanted to let him try, see if he has natural talent in it. My perspective, I am monitoring, only one trainee, after class, shouldnt have much danger.

Forth, so the issue now is whether they are allowed to handle weapons, and if not that would be against rule, but is not like they touch weapon without permission, a trainer is there to see, permission is therefore approved.

Fifth, is about step by step, I know that there is a system to wushu cuz low skilled unable to handle advance routines, but if the person has interest, at least we are able to discover it, and isnt wushu supposed to let trainees discover the love of their personal suited style themselves? Ancient people could take anything, develop interest in using it as weapon, why not us?

Lastly, if let's say "permission" is only granted solely by sx, then what is the point of giving us the authority as assistant trainer? Just to have extra person, extra cheap fixed cost to generate greater profit? Arent we authorized enough to judge how should we nurture a trainee? This is not overlooking or disrespect to elders, but a simple trust of authority and judgement.

Nevertheless, I simply replied, "ok", less trouble, less problem, time will heal everything.
It's like since beginning, everything I do they not happy.
I late they not happy, etc etc,
but someone else similar or worst, they are okay with it,
simply he has better PR skills.
I bring ppl in got ppl not happy.
We were told we could study in room,
after a few days of studying then kpkb,
and perhaps more trivial things I have forgotten,
all in all, I feel I don't belong anymore.




 

http://www.upworthy.com/loneliness-illustrated-so-beautifully-you-will-need-to-tell-someone

Above is a really amazing illustration of Loneliness.
Briefly, our maximum capacity of intimately knowing people is 150 people,
and increasing tech innovation led us to lose conversations into connection.
We expect more from tech to "mask" or "adorn" a certain image of ourselves,
to share, because we think by sharing, we are "living".

Thus I commented once,
that I think social media is a sociological breakthrough,
that we can understand another person without actually knowing them.
And through different platforms, diff information could be extracted.
The most immediate one might be twitter, as tweets are least pruned.

Nowadays with increasing tech,
I guess true friendship is even harder to spot.
Meetings could be easily done by creating events,
that would not mean anything cuz as we meet,
we would probably be "PR-ing".
Dates no longer needed to be remembered, tech help us to do so.
Events people do could be seen via social media,
connections is easy, topics are plenty,
comments, well wishes and greetings are virtual,
so what makes a friend really a friend now?

Really thankful for people that went the extra mile for friendship.
Last sun I received home made dumplings from a friend!
It was amazingly nice! It's "shui jiao" dumplings,
12 of them! in a box! ran over to deliver it warm! amazing!!
the skin is thick enough,
ingredients are flavored and balanced,
not too dry not too soggy,

Well, a really rare friend indeed,
furthermore, we had little things in common.

Today, celebrated a great friend's bday,
which shared the same nric bday as me.
So coincidental.

Simple meal, talked,
helped him buy food due to his leg problem,
laughed, and thats all.
Simple, Warm, Sincere.

Everytime meeting him would really make me think,
What am I achieving in life?
Apart of wasting time exploring,
where do I really belong?
where should I settle?
what is the right path for me?
where could I get the resources from?
would I be able to put down all the commitments I have?

Heard stories of an awesome friendship of his,
where the 3 of them met for 3 days,
lasted for 30 years.
And during birth they were in the same ward!!
Simply amazing.

Anyway......
He got to celebrate it on a clinic bed hahas poor guy!!!

The entire sem is over. On Fri, seriously felt that great joy of relief, that euphoria.

Went for Martial Art Restaurant Feng Bo Zhuang once more, with the SJ clique.
I knew Im probably gonna be the odd one out,
but oh well, I was invited by one of them, so join lorh.

Besides eating gourmet, it's probably just another outing,
but it's great to feel the atmosphere ba.
A friend introduced the Hackathon,
so sad I could not join due to commitments and no interest in technology.
She is gonna pursue a phd for 4 years, and resume her 1 year left phd here.
She won the previous Hackathon and the ideas is still currently developing.
And why am I still rotting my life away????

Amazing that wushu groomed such a talent.
And then I thought back to my current situation.
Intern coming in sep, NS soon.....
How will my class survive?

I was hoping for Tai to takeover till dq is ready to take over,
I guess he is my last hope.
Probably the only one that had the same mentality of teaching.
I would not want to just loose this batch.
Really hoped that one day they would make us proud once more.

Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in a lifetime;

therefore we must be saved by hope.

- http://life-in-loneliness.blogspot.sg/2013/01/nothing-that-is-worth-doing-can-be.html

I really hoped for my students to precede us.
What I aim for my students,
Is to be disciplined without being disciplined
Self motivated to achieve their very best
Encouraging to one another, to foster a strong bond
Love of language and culture, and a moral character

What is character,
I think character is the state of comprehensive love,
only could be molded internally,
to achieve a greater good for all people.
eg, character, is when you leave a place better than it was before,
eg, to pick up a tissue left by strangers on your table at the hawker.

That day someone was telling me the system of governance in sg,
how people were forced to work whereas they get pension in other states,
I rebutted him,
saying that actually, it's really for our own good,
to give pension is like socialism,
people would get more than they worked,
that would discourage productivity,
hinders economic growth.
Then, saying about cpf,
it is enough to sustain the poor,
at least, their basic needs are met,
at least, the homeless had a better life here than any other country,
at least, they had avenues of help. 

In any system, Im sure the rich will get richer.
Thats the surplus value theory.
But without the rich the country will be poor,
then there would really be absolute poverty.

Yes, we had systems that forces "good deeds"
such as CIP hours and philanthropist awards,
but as much as it is superficial it is beneficial.

What can you then, offer? 
While you are complaining so much. 
Do you distribute to the homeless?
Do you distribute powdered milk for 4,000?
Do you donate masks during haze?
Do you organize mass distribution of dumplings?
Do you learn in order to help?
Do you help your next door grandma with her groceries?
Do you take some time off your schedule to volunteer?
Do you contribute????

Why wait for authorities to do things?
Wouldnt that be "forced" too?
Be the change you wanna see!

Anyway,
then was talking about my future,
talked a loooong chat with my parents.
Firstly NS, I really could foresee myself either "misfired" at life firing,
jailed, death sentenced, etc etc
or kena confinement, or facing other deviant issues
IF I would be maligned.
I dont mind doing anything,
if there is a reason,
But I loathed any shit you make me do
If the reason is simply "I said so" or "I see you not happy"

Then, is what to after that.
On one hand I like to do events,
I think it's challenging and fun
for the sleepless nights to do something unique every project with different team.
But that is not stable.

I remembered JL talked about the
 4 stable jobs that will guarantee your survival
- http://life-in-loneliness.blogspot.sg/2012/10/today-had-great-chat-with-jiaolian.html
I want to at least take one of them.
Becoming a boss is stress,
to groom a successor is stressed,
perhaps, I would want to be a teacher.

But seriously, throughout history,
I have failed being teachers,
be it in piano, in wushu, in academic,
my students all gave up halfway,
grew no interest,
incapable teacher.......

So what could I do??
Troubled by my future......
But then again, I came across this quote......
and it reverbrates throughout the weekend......

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
God saw you through it, why wont you trust in him again?

【一半一半】 痛苦的原因，一半是執著，一半是強求。 快樂的因子，一半是知足，一半是喜捨。 不幸的原因，一半是因果，一半是逆道。 幸福的泉源，一半是珍惜，一半是感恩。 殘缺的心態，一半是計較，一半是怨恨。 溫柔的慈悲，一半是尊重，一半是關愛。 蹉跎的光陰，一半是懶惰，一半是自棄。 生活的意義，一半是領悟，一半是把握。 失敗的原因，一半是際遇，一半是不足。 成功的訣竅，一半是學習，一半是努力。 人生的取捨，一半是承擔，一半是放下。 自在的心靈，一半是簡單，一半是隨緣。

Another week is over, means 1 more week to go!!!!!!!!!!

However, have been struggling from work and studies.
This long weekend is really a good rest.
Did not do much except resting and working at night.
Well, it's just one more week!!!

Till then........
Tomorrow if no one going, I will be going yck,
Sun is Kranji Countryside Run and Competition,
Mon is pro meeting,
Tue consult,
Thur 2 last presentations and thats it!!!!!!!

The past week,
I went for Hossan-AH 20 Leong Years Anniversary
midst of all the exams and presentations.

It was worth it though.
Initially, wanted to give it to a good friend W,
as his bday was on Mon.
Yet he didnt reply my msg and thus went with DQ.
Understand,
probably everyone has their hierarchy of friends,
and sometimes, you would like to spend your special day
with those closest to you currently.
Appreciated DQ though, really really alot.

Anyway, Hossan is really entertaining!!!
Audience of all ages, all nationalities and all gender were laughing.
He was talking about the Mamjo Jambo days,
and showcase of his musicals he did,
and ofcoz, his piano.

Tue, after work,
I went to watch Girl in Pinafore, alone
I must say I prefer this over to Apple of Eye.
I think it brings out the Xinyao culture nicely,
and I like the ending.
I is something more real rather than all the standard happy ending.
It's totally as if it was a memory from a local citizen in Singapore.

That day brings the end of the awesome project group we had.
The only regret in the 3 years is to not know them earlier.
I guess they had a great time as well,
just that at the last minute,
I totally forget about informing them about the changes,
thus some of them were unhappy. =(
Sigh, it was almost perfect,
why did I forget that???

岁月的细水慢慢流~
Memories, I think the older I get, the harder I am able to detach emotions from memories, and the harder it gets to let it go. To think that at my primary school days, social is really just social, simply playing with friends. I didnt think I had any "close friends", just "more familiar friends", that was the time where I were still happy living that moment for that moment. Now, in every moment, I would think of stuffs like "what if 20 years down the road such fun times were forgotten", or "will this person still be in contact 20 years from now". It's natural, that people that were once closed to me, will one day be so aloof, that we do not even know what to talk about when we meet again. Then, it is hard to detach the emotions away from it, as if that when that memory fades, part of the happiness or other emotions in me fades as well, leaving an empty space behind.

Well, then was trying to play that song at home, but was not musically talented. Sigh.
If only I could like just pick up instrument, compose a song, sing......
Oh that night, was the day my family let an opportunity go.
Sigh, trust issue, status quo issue, worry-too-much issue,
oh well, I concluded, a friend is right,
perhaps its not good to drag parents into own business,
cuz first not my money, second it gets complicated.
Thus, I suddenly have a financial goal........
Then, I can really do what I like to do without restriction.

Then ofcoz, would like to go for some singing courses or something,
but then again, I dont even like my natural voice in the first place,
so even with good skills the base is still undesirable....
Urgh irritating, bobian ascribed characteristics.

Then is the looong weekend!!
Thur CH came to my house, then tgt with S and DQ,
we went for a food tour!!!
CH bought a whole box of macaroons for me,
omygosh!!!!!!! that is more expensive than that chilli crab larh!!!!!!!
Really amazed by friends like these........
This time, I will stay in touch with this friend slowly,
cuz 细水长流! To last a longer friendship,
dont be so close so fast!! hahas.

First we went to the martial arts themed restaurant, Feng Bo Zhuang
where the ambiance is wuxia,
and the food dishes are named after kungfu moves,
and they talk in fantasies like "your chi will increase in 2h"
or "what skill would you like to master, sir"
hahas! Then we strolled to Santouka Ramen,
it was 16 for 3 bowls of ramen until they charged 8 bucks for 2 drinks!!!!
Sianz.... pocket one hole,
no idea what lies would I come up for my mum again.

But seriously, at this age,
they still have to check on every of my transactions,
so embarrassing.
Then being as stingy as ever,
they loathed my habit to treat people,
then forces me to lie to them every single time.
They don't even know that I still owe 300!!
I seriously wonder what to do with it.
Sigh............ if I were a rich man..............
Nevertheless, I believed one of my purpose in life
is to give life and adventure to less privileged ppl around me.
There's a reason why most of ppl around me is
either lower income or challenging family.

Today, the couple came over to cook fried rice hahas!
Dont know if they really like it,
I always think this style of friend rice is unbeatable!
But that may be a biased source, so whatever.......
Someday must learn the Yi Zhang Gong friend rice!!!
That one best! spicy and yellow and fragrant!!!!!!!!

Then, was too tired, slept all the way till work,
and watched NDP on TV.
and watched the movie "13 going to 30",
something takeaways of the movie is that,

"I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes."

Yes, society changes, that does not mean that the past is over, there is always the attractive portion of the past that had once made us attracted to it. 

Looks like the week passed.
Not a very good week.
Rushing projects here and there.

However, very proud of working with tourism group.
I think they are most effective and productive.
One of the only regrets for this 3 years is not knowing them earlier.
Each of them are able to produce their work before due date,
and with quality, really quality.
Also, they did all these in midst of work and personal lives.
And they trust me to compile everything.
They trusted me to deliver.

invi text continued at bottom

Then, on fri, in midst of so many things....... I fell sick...
really really sick, vomitting and diarrhea,
doctor say is I overburnt my body.
Had to skip wushu so sad!!!!!!
I remember the last time I was sick they were so concerned.
Sigh, if I kept falling sick Im not a good example.
Had to fly kite to someone again........
felt so bad cuz 3rd time fly kite le........
Sigh.... mon must make it!!!!!!!
Had to skip sch and I guess my team would talk things again.......
No choice.......

I guess we were too forced into groups that
we loss the essence of group work. 
A friend said that.
I totally agree.

Then tomorrow,
promised to take over tuition class,
got cell group......
Sun got wushu and Hossan-Leong,
Mon test, and the project rush again..........

Sigh. If only got injection to prevent fever forever... Dun mind spending hundred for that... Cough flu is alright, fever is irritating I can't do anything. Felt so weak so useless.....

Anyway, a friend commented, 人生最大的财富是健康, hahahas!! so touched!! that ppl actually remembered what I taught. Things like this really cheers me up. Well, it's sad though, that often potentials and passionate ppl couldnt do what they want due to restrictions. Though ofcoz, actually there is a way for her to get approval, I just had to talk to her mum since I had good impression. But then again, I dont want another case of overburnt, like another friend who had 3 days archery, 3 days wushu and 1 day driving. He had so much problem juggling that he ended up feeling inferior in all aspects in his life.

Sigh sometimes I felt that way too. That I had juggle so many things that in the end all come crashing. Thus I'm cutting everything now. But then I was just about to start something big at work, and internship come. Then NS.... sigh, so many things all crashing....

Anyway, OneOK rock start its sales ystd, so I was thinking if I should buy 5 tix, mark it up to sell at a later date when publicity is viral, then I could have one tix "free" due to the profit, and fulfill a friend's little wish. Risky though. But then again, no risk, nothing will be done. I shall think it thoroughly till wed and decide again.

However, good things comes with something bad,
the itinerary group was totally different.
They didnt have work to do,
I had to do almost everything myself.
I mean, one of them was good enough to lump all the researches without filtering.
The other made initiative to try to understand what is going on but too slow.
The last one was hell, got time to go karaoke till 2am while I am doing the proj myself overnight.
Do simple stuffs her best friend covered for her,
Verbally so vulgar,
Up to date did 0% work literally.

No choice, I guess she is not even ready to take on life,
still stuck in whatever fantasies she have,
all the little worries of life, making it big fuss,
searching for a purpose in life,
yet procrastinating and being fruitless....
like someone else I know,
just that this one seems to be an older version of it.

Sigh, what to do,
for records, nothing of her goes well,
and she often blames everything everyone for it.
Oh well, her best friend kept covering for her.
I only hope they could at least deliver the last item.