uploaded the photos into facebook bit by bit. 3 days with them fly so fast compared to a whole year, 2 years in fact... since the last time i saw them. suddenly a fear builds up, fear of losing them, though not likely, but who knows, our topics are limited, our language is slightly passed the conversation line, if i dont brush up my indo scared cant even talk already, and who knows too, humans may change.. feeling like a was in such sweet dream until the alarm sound wakes me up, just like how i felt when i stepped into bds, also when ding hsuan left to taiwan... just cant believe the dream gone so fast, wonder when can it come again. anyway, speaking of sleeping, havent slept for such short period yet felt so alive after waking up. not in s'pore, not here, but there in puncak, mere 3 hours of sleep felt so fresh, like a same old brand new me.... that feeling of freedom and easiness... btw indo songs are easy to catch up, at most 1 time should be able to predict the tunes. sigh, so again, happiness is transient, time is cruel, memory is sorrowful... Happy Memories are addictive drugs that made us feel alive for just that brief moment yet had left me in such unbearable plight, yearning for more, and got no choice but to counter the eagerness by consuming more...

took the True Fear quiz again after almost a year... was totally astounished to be such a big change, well, my death fear had built up, so do the being alone and losing someone, it is again proving the fact that as you grow old, you're more coward, and also you met more people, which means u have to much people that you once got along well and you will start to fear that they will just vanish away, leaving nothing but memories. you will soon rather them to remain in the same state as they were once you met them, regardless how good or bad they've changed...

i will miss you both Christian and Yohanes, aku akan merindukanmu, btw they are also earning a little by rf online, they're audition are so pro, 8k 150bpm with crazy9, wow, not many guys i seen could do that... though ofcoz this is a layman saying it... was wondering if wanna propose a exchange programme between them + family and wuluowuxuan... they come singapore for a week and we'll go there for 2 weeks... 2 weeks coz indo is too big to be able to enjoy much in a week, at least 2 weeks... and i think they will be bored in singapore for 2 weeks... that would be cool.. well if they accept, they have approx 6 persons at least and might range up to 10, at least a 2 room flat and able to cook, dont mind family dwelling but must have 2 vacant rooms as they could sleep on the floor... can find, guess not, jy kaya... for us, houses here are so big, can easily cramp 20 people in a shalet such as the one i lived that 2 days, or my own house if possible, not as comfortable though, or hotels, their house if no choice, gotta sleep on the floor, wonder if wlwx will mind... haha... but it's alot easier that their temporary settlement in singapore...

now back to wlwx, a month of sickness and being confined at home doing nothing much bores me, bet im gonna lose out alot when i return, miss them much too, wonder if i could make it for countdown gathering... will reach home only at 10pm... sigh... last post for the year i guess, it's luck internet is good today, very very good...

Unexpectedly fun the last 2 days, thought i have to chance to go ktv and pools, couldnt eat to my harts delight... but turned out all was fulfilled. pool table 2k for a game, super cheap! ktv foc... wow, heaven, nice weather too except to my poor legs a night... went to places that i have never been before and doubted i would even go if not for them, thx so much... 

fri
woke at 4 due to the mosque prayers, went off by 5, reach puncak went to some nice garden and took a walk, vomited due to the 100m run-away-from-horse-shit... haha what a joke! after felling so much time had passed, it wasnt even noon, went swimming after lunch, again after feeling so much time had passed it was only 2... went ktv while they were sleeping. Time then flies till the next day…

sat
went to waterfall, took lotz of photos, will upload them when I go back to sg. Again the same feeling, it was noon, we went pool for 10 rounds before we went back home to rest and resume again at night, after some ktv again.. after the later 10 round pools went to a public ktv, haha scared off ALL the patrons, cool eh? That’s all for that day…

today
woke at 4 due to the prayers but slept again due to the buay tahan coldness that pokes be hard in my legs and hands, they were trembling… well, then off we go back to city… sian… it was so not enough lorh, wanted a whole lot more… then started blogging now…

oh, seiously everything here is so damn damn cheap... audiion a-cash 10k rupiah for 10k cash leh!! price of items are same somemore... lan shop 2k 1h.... sigh, to leave here for 4 bucks a day i would not need to owe $...

Merry x-mas to all~! finally going to puncak, though not as delicious food and comfortable spacious living but friends are there, in their houses now, christian and yohanes, internet speed is excellent, wow, met jiaolian on facebook texas poker, he's my lucky star, after he left i won a sit n go tournament. Right... homeworks, i have not started on it at all, all left in s'pore, sigh gonna be a tough time next year, but look at the bright side, at least i learnt more about chem, just browsing through helps, it was untouched until this dec holidays. Oh, i finished tuition compos too, thats a positive, and was let driving on the roads, manual is so troublesome lorh... 

Was having fun with photoshop until the uploading speed made it back to rockbottom...

EGGS-tra Knowledges:

红果蛋 (Red Fruit eggs) - made by hens that consume the flesh of red frits that was used by manufacturers that produce red fruit juice, contains 30% nutrients of the juice itself. Low cholesterol. Helps cancer.

皇帝蛋 (Royal eggs)- contains more than just omegas, further details was not enclosed by expert.

低胆固醇蛋 (Low-Cholesterol eggs) – contains mere 70 cholesterol which was slghtly lesser than required intake of cholesterol by human, which is 75. Normal eggs have cholesterol about 250 !

斋蛋 (Vegetarian eggs)– made by hens that consume nothing more than vegetarian meals, therefore not fed with meat powders that normal hens would consume.

维他命蛋 (Vitamin eggs)- made by hens that consume high concentration of the particular vitamin.

抗氧化蛋 (Antioxidant eggs) - Unknown methods of hens diet, experimented that can reduce cancer cells by half !!

杂蛋 (Rejected eggs) - To be sold to restaurants due to ugliness.

无壳蛋 (Broken eggs) - To be sold to bakeries.

How to identify sick chickens: By listening to their snoring at night, further actions were not disclosed by expert, but every single situation will have its buyer.

Lots of things happened today

first, about housing, why must people be so willing to pay interest just to pay in installments? why dont they want to remain in parents' house until they saved enough? if not, why isnt there any kind soul to buy the house under the name?

example, person a help person b buy a house, person b lives in it, person a doesnt need to care for the house, might collect little rental but much much smaller than interest of bank (for the amount of years b thinks he could save up the money), after some time person b got enough money to buy from person a. 

benefits:

if person a decided to sell due to the increase of housing price, he profit, person b got nothing to lose, furthermore person a had receieved additional income from rental

if person b doesnt want to buy that house, the house is most probably furnised and decorated well, both got nothing to lose, the house coud be rented or sold away again, person a had additional income from rental

anyway person a must be someone close, also can increase relative relationship....

another thing, about my third uncle, when he was just a teen, 初出茅庐, young and unexperienced, he wanted to lend $ from his 4th uncle, but was rejected COMPLETELY (NOT A CENT), now the 4th uncle had to rely on him on EVERYTHING (living cost, medical bill.. etc), with an unfilial son mia for decades, a unstable daughter with mental health problem, and one somewhat luckier daughter with a good daughter that was well off after marriage. 3rd uncle was benovelence, from my angle, i would turn a cold shoulder, thiat s e no matter the plight the other party was in, i treat them good at first, if they take it for granted, i will cut all connections with them.

tomorrow is the day one of a relative is gonna be cremated, grandma told my dad no need to fetch her, which was a big mistake coz of all, respect is VERY CRUCIAL, mum did not object grandma's opinion too, dad was obviously pissed... 

well green garden (my house) is now cleaned, remember, anyone wanna rent plz contact me... good enviornment, did my tuition homeworks while listening to the majestic music blasted from my neighbour, of bee gees and or chinese classics... was rather relaxing..

in my previous post forgot to mention one touching incident weide did for me, must thank him for that, he submitted my name to a temple, said to help recite the scriptures a certan number of times after a year, though we both forgot in the end, was realy touched and thankful, all i ever did to him was to submit his name for a anagram poem in china for 5 yuan, which turned out wet and wrong nae written, im such a failure....

Happy Birthday to my shi xiong, Kai Yu~!

Argh so hungry and tired now, just leaving a note or two, well, cant wish sx i person nor sms, thus created a ecard for him, wootz i photoshop editing not gone yet, still can bluff through for the eyes of Po in kung fu panda, took the scene where he was holding up a bowl of paos and was ooking down, so edited abit, and change the paos to a preset birthday cake, replaced background with a the shaolin temple an a faint mountain scenery too, all fro Kung Fu Panda, wanted xiaolin showdown but then internet too slow got pissed, i was thinking of omi doing a he zhang xing li, couldnt find in google images so had to stream and cut, which was taking  forever, nonetheless 1 hour of finding pics, 1 hour trying to stream the xiaolin showdown episode 1, 2 hours of editing coz i forgot lots of tools, another slightly less than 15mins just to upload !!!!! 

Fri aunt gonna go puncak, hope can tag along, been sick but still got great appetite, total torture!!! havent been to any leisures but just shopping for clothes, pray to my materal grands, cleaning up my house which was empty for half a year, btw if anyone wanna find a house to rent at jakarta call me!! very big very cheap... half-furnised newly decorated...

finally allergy had one off, rashes on neck, for the past 3 days, sick for the past... exactly a week!!!.... sian should be recovering soon, argh cant wait for martabaks, sian can foresee latergot objections pobably from grandma, sigh, for something i would always yearn for and must wait long before i could taste it yet kept getting hindrance, IM NOT FAT IF I COULD KILL !!!! trust me on that, i rather slaughter a human than an animal... 5 meals a day but low carbo, half full each meal, no exercises though, no energy... zzz, buay tahan liao, gud nite swt drmz.. 

Stupid internet so slow, bo bian, can only make use of what i have and try to be happy with it... 2 things im gonna mention in this post, is the 2 things i couldnt make it... both happens in 2 days time the 22nd dec. first is sx birthday and couldnt wish him in person nor sms, 2nd is to see zhigao appear on tv haha. he won the bai jia le thing, cool eh, free furnitures..

Well there are ofcoz a few people whom i want to thank, kinnda standard for lots of people out there to thank a few persons towars the end of the year...

Zhi Gao, met since p1, very cute and chubby, fun-loving and enjoyable person to be with, thanks for sponsor of food when im broke and hungry... bcoz of him everytme i have $ and not hungry i would treat whoever near me

Ding Hsuan, mia now probably in taiwan, pri sch mate till p5, bo bian had to throw away both shirt and pants he gave... rather stole from his roommate coz they do that all the time... anyway sobsob

Huang Kang, pri sch mate, enjoys being with him coz he always brightens me day, dont mnd juz tok whole day, hua xia zi

sec not much, no specific to mention,they're all fun though...

wx, those people are my 2nd family, friendly and outgoing.. well except for some... most importantly, and hopefully, shares similar interests... and a good listener for me to qing tu yi kao... ps all in pinyin and short form coz internet unstable nowadays....

这么多年了，也许已讲过，但我现在才知道原来婆婆曾帮老爸的表姐，后来她妨碍我们做生意还抢生意，他妈的！也许现在我会生活得更舒服把，哎，命运巴！搞不懂为什么有这么不知天高地厚的我会拥有个曾经是个羞答答的胆小鬼，现在他可是胆大包天的人了！可是命运是非常可怕的，差一点一生人的发生经过都可能被挖出来，查过算命书，老爸的命的确与书一模一样。我的命算好，希望事事如意巴！尤其为了让父母高兴的学业与让父母生活更舒服的职业，最重要的是武轩武术与能成为一个更完善的人。听说我来历不凡，那么又为什么当初要选择重新做人而冒着这巨大的险，如果不妙重新做人的目标没达成而反而误入歧途这么办？不是以前说辛辛苦苦修养道德白费？哇这人还真是大呢！又为什么是我呢，我又不是什么大人物，为何是我？说着，又为什么我会有我的想法儿他人有他的想法呢？如果有阴间的话，又能记起以前的事吗？做回人又重零开始吗？哎，世外万物真奇妙啊！

rewatched infernal affairs (无间道) trilogy, am still anchored to the thought that the ending for 3rd sequel is rubbish, how can such proffesional spy of a triad gone nuts, well can only be explaind by karma, that nothing can be more formidable than it, anyway a famour quite "我想做好人" suggests 身不由己.

another film i rewatched is "天下无贼", suggesting that even the so called 'bad' have their own principle and morality... 盗亦有道

oh also i watched "杀人犯" by Aaron Kwok, ending was a twist but quite absurb, suggesting 己所不欲，勿施于人, a phrase that shixiong once said to me when i lost my hp after returning 3-4 lost phones to its owner, then i felt myself being stupid to be such mr. nice guy, still after much talkings i will never again go an extra mile for a stranger, as 无间道 mentions that event can change men but men cannot change event, it was mention because the two main characters actually changed event therefore was praised.

"意外" taught me never to jump to conclusion and also 知人之面不知心. Sad ending where the killer wanted to prevent the staged accident but it was in vain, innocently killed the innocent which he first suspected him killing his counterpart.

GI Joe was okay, quite a standard storyline, same as B13 Ultimatum.

Well, went to huizhen blog cause it was the first to load among all the rest, saw one of her blog saying inferiority, well yea i remembered i felt that too long long long time ago. I used to be someone who loved to be praised, be it 拍马屁 or 锦上添花, therefore always when someone else was in the limelight i was rather envious and strived hard, therefore was sometimes depressed feeling im useless, that was long long long time ago, having a same selfish chldish mind. Actually sometimes i feel it that way too, if not for the little optimism i still have left with me, i would break down already, 与上不足，与下有余 so must 知足才能满足, coz for every one who gets to shine, a million more are left behind... like those nameless brave souls who died in the honor of a great general's name... sometimes i wonder what is my purpose of life, i think i mention it the third or fourth time in my entire blogging life already, one very recently early this year... i want to make a change... but can I??

love this song... melody and lyrics especially the chorus

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind? Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know 'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be That's Why I'm Starting With Me

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

one conclusion, time flies very slowly here, i just found out i couldnt live without internet, couldnt have music, couldnt youtube, couldnt search any random stuffs at all, and i would desperately sit in front of it for half an hour before loading up a blog, ofcoz some takes shorter time than others... msn hotmail is not so hopeless, at most 10mins...

life here got pros and cons too as usual, however more cons than previous years, there will be no puncak, no out-of-home leisure, more children selfishness and rants that i would eventually give in to them and more nags from parents....

at least i got some movies here to watch... 20 more days... hell....

right, i think most importantly, no friends, that emptiness, that empty hole in me that i wonder what could fill it up... actually, all i want is on 2 ends, either all the way adventures and surprises or worry free at all, i dont really like the middle, but ive got no choice, there will be balance in one way or another...

finally treated myself with a self cooked mee goreng and fried egg with a success flip in first try, cool.. first time trying to flip an egg haha, anyway today was starving real bad... whole day only a small tub of ice cream and a bubble tea... crazy... lucky got 3 slices of pizza at nite, which cost me 6 bucks! damn broke, owe a total of... 45 bucks?? crap... nx year not gonna buy anything at all....

these few days my comp had been not co-operative, will seldom blog, kept hang like crazy, couldnt even go to start page just now morning, reformatted now, still hangs once in a while...

... sigh...

well it's the last week before i bid farewell to singapore, gonna be bored back in indo. well hope i could still go puncak, at least there is karaoke there, 24/7 somemore, all by myself, though the songs there is quite old.. really old...

well, at least can kill some time watching movies on that huge screen...
and pool though the stick it kindda.. u know...
and the peaceful surrounding..
the fresh air...
and the scrumptious foods...
the 5-or-more meals a day...
the loneliness... sigh...

well its not my home, no matter how great it is, without kinship, as in father or mother, or brothers, it's just an empty mansion...

wushu is an exceptional ofcoz, through there i think im encouraged and learned to be a better being... note i use being not human.... humans are not a perfect beings nor kind beings... gonna miss wushu though it's only a month, next year gonna have a prison life... maybe a bull-in-prison life, bull because it is a busy year and i really want to get out of that confinement... just hope that i could survive that year, i dont think an l1r4 or 10 is achievable for my current plight... just jy anyway. then i swear im gonna take a not-so-well-deserve break..