learnt alot today:

1) Serendipity is when you find something that you were not expecting to find.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serendipity

2) Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is the theory behind: Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

3) Edward Thorndike has a puzzle box experiment where he used a trapped cat fighting for survival to demonstrate animal intelligence, adding on to Pavlov's experiments and preceding the Joshua Klein's crow vending machine.

=) fruitful day =)

Had the worst headache in history, i've never had a headache that last longer than an hour, more to say one that woke me up from sleep on the wee hours of monday, and lasted until now... sigh, went to the western doctor since sinsei is not recognized as a MC for my tutorials. Anyway, school was great, especially sociology, it's basically awareness of your society and challenge what others find common sense and social norms, we ask whether it is the most effective way, whether it is still relevant, etc, yet we respect different culture and would not enforce changes, just observation. Public speaking should be easy, and surprisingly today's lecturer was good, was engaging, was hilarious, i think it is some business module.

Besides that my life till now seemed to be having screw ups here and there, like incorrect registration for nationals competition, stuffs like that, hmm, maybe it's time for me to learn to say no from responsibilities haha. Comical, today I was walking through the tp cca fair, then all I ever signed up was squash, and the rest are 'non-commitment' ccas like nyaa, healthy living, toastmasters, ambassador, adventure, etc... basically they would email me when there's an activity and I can sign up for it or simply ignore.

I think I really love poly life, compared to sec sch life, despite ending lessons at 6 or 8, cuz there will be breaks in between modules, and tp has a great library of 10 stories for me too~ lecturers do not mind us not paying attention, there are lots of fun activities, projects, this is completely awesome, completely free.

Sadly, in SCC, things seems to not get any better, frequency of fights and conflicts is increasing. Even a casual game of hantam bola is turned into a platform to target on the few eye-sorers. Sigh, maybe it's just me, but our days used to be fun, at least as they gang up against me, and i fool around, joke around, stunt around, they have their laughs i have my entertainment, it was all perfect. Of course they are still close in contact with me, some called when I was sick, I'm really grateful and touched, some even nagged like a mother, 'dont do this', 'remember to do that', haha, life's fun.

Spoke with a new staff/volunteer today, she gave me feedback on a certain child. He seemed willing to study, yet he is just slow and stuck 2 or 3 grades behind others. Yes I do sympathize with him, however I always feel that there's nothing we can really do but to help whenever he needs it. I mean we cant give him goals and targets, I dont think giving pressure is beneficial to him, I believe he will excel in other things besides academy, though yes primary is the most fundamental education requirement to survive in perhaps singapore. Life will find a way larh, therefore actually I think that in time, I might propose a skill training too, but is musical, meaning a group each day or so will be brought to the piano or guitar or whatever instrument they are interested in, and will teach them slowly from scratch. This is because music can actually make you a better person, perhaps more high-classed, more civilized, more calm, more appreciative to the diversity around them. Perhaps, we might even have weekly line dance classes? or any activities that they can discover their ecstatics talents.

Anyway, some interesting sociology questions, why do people stare at the lights in lifts, and faced to door. I think it is because people are always awaiting for the next activity, the next thing, the next action, so they are ready to go out, since normally people are rushing. Also, the look at the lights cuz firstly personal space, it will feel awkward when we are facing each other nose to nose, thus we usually look up for sort of fresh air, it's like sort of personal space. An imaginary territory and you do not want the presence of others to be inside, not even breath. Singapore has fair personal space already, in other countries, I doubt it is possible, they would squeeze like sardine, to the last millimeter. Then next is we tend to look at something in motion, we do not like to stone, so we stare at the light.

Next, why is the bus designed to enter at the front, exit behind? the history is yes last time, the bus system would have you to pay bus ticket, thus we have to approach the bus driver. However now with the ezlink system, the bus driver will still need to monitor whether everyone taps, thus it is easier to monitor when we enter only at the front. =) cool, awaiting more questions on our daily life =)

Kay i started to feel a little headache now, should get some rest soon....

A touching story of an old father, son and a sparrow

SAM 0752

Humanities and Social Sciences (HSS) Freshmen Orientation (FO) is really awesome~!!

Day one I had few hours of sleep, thus felt lethargic, and thus dragged my feet to TP... It was totally.. Zombie.... yepp zombie is the most suitable description... Time passes like snail in a gushing river... It was rather painful - to keep my eyes open and try to bond around, but I survived through it, and the amazing race which was not really conducted well, but their ideas are great. We lost everything for both teams, except for the one that we had to drink milo, both our teams won that game~!! haha. Furthermore we had worst luck than the other team, they had triple one on the dices, which means they would have to drink the least, and we had like 4, 5, 2 or something like that.... Cool.... then we had games like stuffin popcorns and do jumping jacks... haha I think if solo I would own, trained by wushu haha, but oh well, we have to do it as a team. Then we have few lousy games like going through a maze of number sequence blindfolded, and the human size table soccer was fun but our guys, especially me, were outnumbered and out-skilled, and a nice idea was the one that we had to use straws to suck or blow ping pong-balls through a maze....

Second day was crazy, we have dragon boating~!! first time in my life I went for it, and then we have wet activity~!! Some stations as usual is not well carnied out and organised, but the capture the flag + catch the donkey tail game was fun. we have to prevent opponent from stealing our balls by detaching their tails. Also, there's this 4 way dog and bone, but each number is a pair having one of each of their legs tied together, and one of them blindfolded! And instead of an object, we throw water bombs~!! The wheelbarrow transporting water idea is good but it was not carried out nicely, same as the one where we had to search mentos in a basin of water and flour without the use of hands.

And at the night of the second day~!! we had talent time~!! this is where I decided to participate int he enthusiasm. We came up with a simple skit about a summary of out FO days, including simulation of 3rd day, and at the finale, I will strike a split as they cheer to the song: On the floor, by Jennifer Lopez, that completely wowed the audiences plus the teachers. WOOHOO~!! Our item was 4mins, whereas the other groups have 10-20... which made the teachers bored, except for this singaporean that looked and spoke like a China man, and as super hilarious. The background was that he was a adventurer finding gamma ray, so he went to this tribal village with a king. Then as the king delivered a welcome speech,k he said: you think this is a game? then at the last part, because the king was carrying a broom stick and pounding it, he said: very dusty, stop playing it okay?... hahahhahaha~!! Oh his most prominent quote was "Mao Ze Tong!" Oh, there's like cross dresser too~ really awesome haha.... AND YEA~!!! WE WON~!!!!!!

Third day was the climax of everything. After the lympics games, the cheerleading, and the dragon boat, we gathered back for announcement of awards. At our victory, the audience requested for an encore, thus for the first time, I did a back roll and then a end pose split~!!! FIRST TIME~!! that wowed the whole audiences again~!!! Haha I feel like in some 'Got talent' show. Cool~! Then yea we had a jam and hop night, and the last 30mins was the greatest. We sang the tp song and the tp mass dance~!! woohoo~!! the mass dance is a great way to dance with and meet any random new girl and start getting to know each other. The tp song is simply 'bondable'~!!!

In a nutshell, HSS FO 2K11, especially my group Oxy, with the Group Leaders and 3 guys (Meng Wai, Bryan Wong, Tan Yi), is awesome~!!!!!!!!!!!! I realised that I must always initiate to hype up to enjoy myself and the whole camp more, as you can seem I was stoning at the first 1.5 days, until I lost my sanity~!!! Temasek Me~ Temasek You~ WA ARE A TEAM~ YO! YO! YO! YO!

Woots~ first go at dragonboat, first attempt to dance in front of so many audience, also first for performing full split in front of so many audience, best of all, first attempt to BACK ROLL AND END POSE WITH A FULL SPLIT~!!! HSS FO's awesome~!!

But seriously sad when I found out that Meng Wai is in my course yet different class, it was like the whole FO pointless cuz we have to be separated despite bonding for the past 3 days, and have to reborn with the classmates... maybe I should write in to the teacher-in-charge...

Oh oh~ one more thing, the group leaders are awesome dancers, and one of them looks like dong li huo che, and the other one looks like zhang yu~ hahahhahaha

Sigh, today I realized, despite walking through the emotions and problems of life, I still fall to what is common to man: pressure. Yes Life is full of CRAP, especially the P part, P for pressure, and perhaps the C part, Critisims, or maybe Assholes too, but yea, I felt so defeated. I was pissed, not because of the taunts I received, nor the humilations, or how of a failure am I not daring to 'gua mian tui', but the fucking efforts and time spent in vain to look through life like a glass, to be open and secluded from social norms... sigh...

Well, yea they meant well and just kidding around, they are awesome and supporting people, yet I really think I cant handle the pressure, I'm a rather sensitive and fragile person, moreover I'm someone who thinks alot, so to prevent these thoughts to develop and mutate into anything worst, I should take flight from thinking these thoughts, and to not take a second 'glance' at these thoughts, so I think I should just simply quit. Yes, though I cannot quit now, I'll just meander around and just deliver my innate best. I dont mind considering myself a coward, cuz what is life without fun and happiness and joy? Life's too short to have so much goals, as much as we focus on goals, we should have time for sightseeing too. I wont be regretful or whatsoever, since I will never let anyone and anything that deprives me of my rightful share of happiness, and probably sanity, or delusion as what some might label me.

Why so? because I started to feel that wushu is no longer a major part of my life, firstly is because it really had died, no longer having the fun I had in sec 1 and 2, those days where we used wushu as a refuge, a retreat from then torturous, toil-ful, laborious school life. I no longer see efforts being paid off. I see members having conflicts with each other, I see new members not devoted to it, I see a sense of deadness in it.... I learn wushu, is for the culture, for the knowledge, for the ability to improve myself through fun, through team spirit. But afterall, I still failed the resilience part, the pressure part, the hard part.... I'm going for soft only, and only soft...

So yea, I think I should spend less time there, and more time in other places especially church and maybe Samy. Had a great time in Samy, met up with Beaunice, a classmate which we started off as facebook friends, and we had a really good time chatting and sharing and discussing. Oh, there's this Gerald, I think he's really 'cute', he makes the class lively =) Well, Samy is an awesome guy~

Oh, have I told you my cell group advisor/supervisor KG? He's really awesome too, a really disciplined and strong man. He actually refused orders from boss politely to do stuffs betraying his conscience, not a crime though, but it's just against his beliefs. So glad to have so much awesome people. =D

Dear Kyanta,

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain

Someday, one day, I hope to type you a note on a piece of paper instead of posting on your wall.
Cheers;)

B. (Beaunice)

I realized I have motivated more than one but two people significantly~!!!!
So happy, weird feeling, at first a sudden increase of heart beat, then a smile formed naturally, and a warm wave caressed and calmed the heart... finally a shiver ran UP my spine, somehow escaped through my head, the body and head felt lighter and the eyes opened wider and shone brighter for a second...

Great ending of a great period in my life, as I posted:
A nice recital with a beautifully hit cadence, awaiting for the encore =D

Had a bengawan solo coffee farewell cake =) thx SCC staffs~!! heard from YJ I'm the first volunteer to receive a cake besides Eliz since she's gonna be in Melbourne studying.

Played all the way with them. You should have seen how Alvin and Colin clinged on me. Well, had lots to say to them, will compose one long message for them perhaps next week.

On sat Alvin joined Pop Excel, mainly of me, and sat into maths foundation class. However he refused to join in the english class but preferred doing my maths on his own. Im rather surprised about his determination and willingness to learn. That was the greatest moment in my life, what I wrote to Alvin worked, that was the first time he didnt needed constant nudge to do his work. Hope that he will keep it up, and hope that Colin would not disrupt this. i think Colin lack of too much love so he is afraid to lose any love from anyone that he became a little too selfish, I do hope he would grow up. =)

http://1000awesomethings.com/2011/03/16/287-when-your-child-reads-you-a-bedtime-story/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2011/02/15/308-joking-with-the-staff/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2011/02/11/310-laughing-in-bed/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2011/02/03/316-grabbing-a-tissue-at-the-last-second-before-sneezing/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2010/10/26/388-when-a-stranger-laughs-at-a-joke-between-you-and-your-friends/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2010/11/18/371-seeing-old-people-holding-hands/
http://1000awesomethings.com/2010/11/17/372-umbrella-karma/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN CHUA & JACKIE CHAN~!!!!!

This is the day where 2 awesome people are born to rock my world~!!!

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/obama-answer-questions-facebook-hq-20110405-115804-230.html

funniest comment: Obama will be busy playing Mafia Wars or Farmville. - Nit

hahaha quite true.

Anyway, today had two fights in SCC, rather hilarious because this time it was Joshua, it took me and Alex to pin him down haha =D then Auntie Imm wrote on the record book, " Round 2, Joshua was pinned down by my bouncers." hahahaha~!! As usual the cause of the outbreak is their mouths.

In the morning wrote a long birthday note for Alvin, the longest I had ever wrote, then bought wrapping paper and ribbon to decorate it. Really cool that he loved the cap, and it was his favourite brand =)Bliss fills my heart =) All the efforts paid off =) he had sports meet, yet he still kept to his words and came SCC =) Awesome kid =)Oh he gave me his first hug~!! haha =D

Oh yea had lunch with Rocky and Frankie, the latter treated us coconut drink =) Oiishii~!

Sigh, I just had to ruin the day with a wrong decision. I left early to meet up with friends, which made Colin really mad, I think his eyes swelled up, yet I still left him in the end. Couldnt stay since I lied to him that it was important, that I had to meet for SGC and enrollment forms, sigh, also when I arrived to Tai house they were playing maple -_-" ~!! Sigh, I remember vividly in p2 that once I refused to accompany my mum to somwhere just because I wanted to have fun in the playground at Swan Lake Avenue with a few neighbours. However as I reached there, they decided to play swing, which to me was boring and thus disappointing and felt so guilty to left my mum. My scooter wheels screeched on the rough road to catch up with my mum. This was how I was feeling just now, with “认错” the song reverberating in my head, banging against my skull and twisting my nerves, banging with full of hatred and remorse. Sigh. I was again... late....

Sigh... that's life...

Tomorrow would be my last day in SCC, I hope I would leave a good impression and not make any mistake anymore.

Oh yea, a nurse was complaining about the bus driver takign his time to start the bus... was rather shocked since nurse should have lots of patience... oh well, the world's getting screwed up...

Went back to BDS today, had a chat with Ms Hoori about Lit, gave her some of my insights =) And ofcoz Mrs Mah, she used my oral presentation for lesson haha =) great memories of my oral presentation. Went for a food spree, then bookshop spree. Decided to order a sheet of personalized stickers for her.

Went back to SCC, oh no~!! Missed Alvin's birthday party =( sob sob =( I thought he would celebrate tomorrow so that can take photos and to add on to the high atmosphere... sigh... worst, Colin broke into a fight with Michael because in his eyes Michael was trying to make me lose in Monopoly Deal.... sigh.. as usual he has his good intention, but just too hot-tempered. Tried rather hard to talk to him, to advice him to 'let go', to 'just stand aside and watch the drama', to have peace and serenity....

Anyway, I went to the playground with the p4s, got greeted by them, and they want me to play too haha =) then right after that went to join the p5 and above at the playground the other side. The swarmed towards me and again insisted me to play. Haha, I was like being 'priority contract-ed' by them, haha miss that awesome game (family business). So at a point of time I sang 'I dream' by Taufik while panting, especially the line 'I dream, I can run like the wind~'... Really awesome feeling to be there, beats anything and everything else.. perhaps sometimes even my own family, I dont really feel the trust, the freedom, the love, the closeness, the understanding.... but yes, this is just a temporary heaven, they would grow up and change... sigh, really miss this batch of p6s... esp Colin, Alvin, Chalmers... for p5s I still have a year, Vanessa, John Tan, Jon Lim, Kai Sheng, Joshua...

Then went to eat desert with Tai... oh no used a lot of money today =(

Oh, fb-talked with Beaunice and saw the Ngee Ann Poly 30h famine movement....

Actually I dont see the point of these movements, their aims to to spread awareness of the cause, which in this case is poverty and hunger, however those who are willing to participate have already know about it thus willing to participate, and those who arent aware would not care about it.... unless dragged in by friends...

Haha not being heartless, just lots of thoughts into anything and everything, i dont disgust anything, just questions them. =)some I found great answers by awesome people like sx =)

Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear~
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen
And waste its sweetness on the desert air~

Like a precious stone unmined at the bottom of the ocean or a beautiful flower blooming in the deep woods, there are extraordinary feats by ordinary faces too~

Next week would be my last week at SCC already... gonna miss them, especially a group, more specifically a particular kid. He is really respectful to me. There is still goodness in him, that's for sure. Other than his anger management, he is teachable, he is awesome~!

Today I went back to walk him home. I noticed his goodness through trivial things like he would say sorry if he accidentally hit me too hard or similar to that while playing. He would not allow other kids to hurt me too. He would nudge me to a side to prevent me stepping on litter on the floor. He would talk to me about anything and everything, he rather trusts me. He would share with me his snacks and drinks, or in fact he insisted me to do so, he even initiated to treat me once when I told a lie to say I have no money. He is also honest to me, he would return everything he took to play or prank, there's a few times he returned me a 10 dollar note that I didn't realize he took, and even a 10 cent coin, and other random stuffs. Furthermore, I realized his eternal grudge against another kid is due to one incident where that other kid made his friend angry, this is really awesome~!

I think he is the only one I will really miss, but well at least can see him in Pop Excel. I just learnt that he is actually residing in a rented room with his sister, while his mother and grandparents live in another unit in that block. Sigh, if only I was still living in 735 or 554, I would invite him over instead...

As what I have always felt... 欲行善，钱必余...

Went back for BDS night study reluctantly, chatted with TanBB, found out that she kept thinking I hated her a lot, but it was actually the direct opposite... and also thanked Peter Tan for the sec 2 fun. I would say at least I have cleaned up the leftover debris and polished my impression plaque =)

風雨無阻:

给你我的全部 你是我今生唯一的赌注
只留下一段岁月 让我无怨无悔全心的付出
怕你忧伤 怕你哭 怕你孤单 怕你糊涂
红尘千山万里路 我可以朝朝暮暮

给你一条我的路 你是我一生不停的脚步
让我走出一片天空 让你尽情飞舞 放心的追逐
爱是漫长的旅途 梦有快乐 梦有痛苦
悲欢离合人间路 我可以缝缝补补

提着昨日种种千辛万苦 向明天换一些美满和幸福
爱你够不够多 对你够不够好 可以要求 不要不在乎
不愿让你看见 我的伤处 是曾经无悔的风雨无阻
拥有够不够多 梦得够不够好 可以追求 不认输

Unblocked by Wind and Rain (Emil Chau):

I'll give you my everything
You are my only stake in this life
I only have what's left of my life
So I'll give all my heart with no complaints and no regrets
I fear you'll be hurt,
I fear that you'll cry
I fear you'll be lonely,
I fear that you'll be confused
In the myriad of paths in this world
I can be your day and night

I'll give you me to be your road
And for all my life, you'll be the nonstop footsteps
Let me lead you to a patch of clear sky
And let you dance in the breeze, chasing it without worry
Love is an endless journey
Dreams have happiness, dreams have suffering
Joys and sorrows are a part of human life
But I can mend them for you

Carrying all kinds of hardships from yesterday
Exchange some of them with tomorrow's happiness
Do I love you enough? Am I good enough to you?
You can demand more of me, but you can't not care

I don't want you to see my wounds
From my past, when I had no regrets, unblocked by wind and rain
Do you have enough? Is your dream good enough?
You can chase them, don't give up

"And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.
When you're rich, they think you really know~!"

Great quote from a long lost movie: Fiddler on the Roof. Thanks to Sophia I found this song again. OMGosh I realised I could follow half of the song. "Lord who made the lion and the lamb, you decreed I should be what I am, would it spoil some vast eternal plan? If I were a wealthy man." Is exactly how I feel, with $, I can do lots of things, fulfill lots of needs, gift lots of gifts..... sigh....

Anyway, today was a sad day for me. I promised a kid to come back for him at 7pm to have a little chat with him on his way home, yet I was late by 4mins. I couldn't find him in SCC so I actually went all the way to his block, and even up to each stories and strolled. He must be feeling betrayed, left out, ignored now.... sigh...

Auntie Imm was sharing about the 3 generations cooperation, we have to keep monitoring the kids, to keep them from being astray. She shared that some churches have a team to visit 20 kids' homes to monitor weekly. I think this is an awesome movement. I think everyone with the heart to make a difference should commit to at least make a difference to one kid. Ofcoz this should start by removing the segregation of responsibilities, we are all old enough to know rights and wrongs, and what to do in certain situations, we should be more open to each other, and less on the 'It's not your responsibility' excuses.

Uncle Joe served his last day today, yet I forgot to bring the Cool Joe plush I wanted to give him =( so fail... oh well, maybe its just a sign telling me that a plush might be unsuitable for him. I took an hour to make a simple card with simple designs, using own printer to print out. He is an awesome guy =)

Back to the kid, I think the more the kids are in these single parent situation where they are already deprived of half if not 80% of the love due to the parent trying to make ends meet, the more the parent should give some leeways, communicate with the child by maybe writing journals, a day off to have lunch and dinner together...etc. The mutual trust must be there. As I was speaking to Auntie Rita, most of the time we really is 心有余力不足. It is always all the black and white restrictions that turned us into angels with pinioned wings. Also I noticed there are some kids keeping problems to themselves, and neglecting studies as usual, I really hope I could help, maybe I could suggest the 'freedom writers' method or if possible some home visits along with Auntie Imm, and might call in Samy for help.... =) sigh... 谋事在人，成事在天...

Sigh, that kid is actually rather sensible, and knows his limits, just that he is hot-tempered, yet respectful to most staffs unless angered. Sigh... although my presence has not made a big impact, at least I made a little difference. =)Anyway, Uncle Joe's shirt wrote 'Making a Difference' today~!!!