Today interviewed auntie imm, and had a great time talking and chatting.

She's my new ear haha, one that i would talk and talk non stop to =D
sometimes i really admire her, and inspire to be like her,
she had seen through so many problems in life,
monetary, fear, loneliness, deviance, family, marital, faith, work... all

she's so optimistic about life, so que sera sera,
always on the go, always ready to offer help and guidance
take pride n joy in everything she does...

So some conclusion I made, I think religious faith is important to happiness of one at the older age. At least we become more grateful, more empathy, more committed to fate, less resistant, reluctant, inertia to changes.

Daniel Tammet: Different ways of knowing | Video on TED.com

Daniel Tammet: Different ways of knowing | Video on TED.com

Consider you have the power to do something with a trolley which brakes have malfunctioned, it is gonna kill 10 miners, but you can somehow switch the track to kill 1 miner on the other lane but kill the 10, what would you do?

Now consider if you are the driver, you have 2 paths to take to 'kill' the miner(s), which road would you take, in this case assume there isnt any 'default' lane to go.

What if stealing a bread to save your family of 6?

What is the drive for us to make decisions, more specifically, make moral judgments?
Moral Absolutism?
Kant's Deontological Ethics
Consequentialism?
Utilitarianism?

To me, I would have preferences, where first would be fate, then benefit to society, then benefit to the 'victim', lastly whether there are alternatives to ease impact on the decision I made to the disadvantaged 'victim'.

Thus, fate would be what the 'victim' is destined for, which I should not try to alter, like final destination. Then it would be how my action would benefit society, or how the 'victim' action can benefit society. This is followed by how would it impact the 'victim', and lastly whether I have alternatives or solutions to help the negatively affected 'victim' in near future or whatsoever.

Damon Horowitz calls for a "moral operating system" | Video on TED.com

Damon Horowitz calls for a "moral operating system" | Video on TED.com

Had a great busy week.

Tuesday’s badminton cum basketball was awesome with TP mates, Jane’s family and Manjusri Guys, Wuluo Wuxuan, total 16 of us (Jordan, Faris, Siva, Meng Wai, Delia, Cherie, Jane, Rohn, Jane’s sis, Johann, Wei Nan, Tay Hwee, Bryan, Sheng Hui, Tai Fong). After few quick matches, we bballed with Rohn, wow he’s good haha, I was hardly half of his standard at his age, his grib and stamina was awesome, he just lacked some common skills, and confidence. While the TP mates are playing badminton for the last half an hour, the rest of us had an extremely exhausting and exciting match. Enjoyed the day thoroughly, hoped that all of them enjoyed it as much too =D

Wednesday crawled up and dragged myself to SCC for outing to Marina Barrage, prepared a set of clothes for the stayover at ShengHui’s house, yet it was used right after the outing haha. They all entered the water playground at the Barrage. Kite flying was tiring, helping them to lift up the kites and etc. Alvin was the best, had used up the strings. Had a couple of photos before running out of batt and had to use shishi’s camera, will get the photos from her someday =D

After such a tiring day, we went for a steamboat at ShengHui’s house, with 4 of us, weeseng and shixiong, had lots of fun, especially sharing chung cheng’s ghost stories and trying to freak out weeseng haha. After all of that I spent a couple of hours talking with Sheng’s family. We debated about lots of stuffs, and I must thank them for their perspectives and arguments, they’re indeed useful and thoughts invoking. Really amazed that his 2 sis are uninterested with comps, =) these are like the minorities in sg already, forced to live with the norms of the dominant groups… Strangely enough he used to agree that games are a waste of time, and guess what, they had an overnight gaming till 6am~!! And Johann was so moody in mahjong… -_-“ … he totally spoilt the mood yesterday lorh, oh I have to thank sheng hui for my few hours of fun because he was the one who persuaded them not to multitask mahjong with comp, if not I would have went home already lorh.

Mahjong had never been that fun, especially with the implementation of chips, the atmosphere is there, the feel and focus is there. We became more alert and smarter and more cunning lol haha, lots of fun, lots of fun…..

Oh, didn’t really get to see the redness of the moon though, sadly, but oh well, im rather satisfied with that brief moments of mahjong and chatting with his family. I seemed to clique with his mum rather well, as well as his sis’s, but its good too, for us to chat and the guys to be hooked in their own world. At least, though my bonds with them are weakening, I gain insights and increase my socialization targets. As I said, being in this age but had seen so much of the world, I’m really grateful, if not for each and everyone in my life, I wouldn’t be so.

Slept at 3am, woke up at 6am, and rejuvenated the entire day today because I didnt have to tutor maths tonight. =D

Came across an interesting question, why emoticons???

Socializing can now be established in virtual media, as technology rapidly advances, virtual communications depict actual communication too, thus perhaps the use of emoticons is introduced to mimic mood as a manifest function, so that the recipient can understand the tone of the message, decreasing chances of misinterpreting them. As such, there might be a latent function that since virtual communicating is less formal, it can be used as a platform to counsel or simply to seek a chatting companion that feedback emotions to make your day. Also, there could be a dysfunction that people lost the real skill of socializing in real life eventually...

So since that living is so drama nowadays, what is really the 'self'? Am image created through results of socializing? Then how does all these personality and stuffs like that come from at the first place? How is it that fortune telling can accurately read the self? If so, doesnt that mean that the 'self' is not a result of nurture but nature? Of innate instead of variable depends on the social circle??

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people. ~Tom Masson

This is true because since everyone has the ability and choice to be deviance, but it's the interactions and relationships with people that prevents many from doing so, by telling them to be themselves, they might deviate, since none of us is pure good, and if we accepts them to be themselves, there might be chaos, who really truly knows themselves anyway...

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine

This is true, because if we cant change anything, might as well play along and just go with it, with style and enjoyment, because in the end of the day, we could at leat leave behind a beautiful legacy, trail or tale...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Seuss

However under some circumstances, especially when we are fighting for a stand that benefits society, we should speak up, we should dare to challenge authorities and laws, which often diverts attention away from their own flaws...

Thus, there's the prayer, for SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, for COURAGE to change the things I can, for WISDOM to know the difference...

Today I had another awesome time at the ktv~!! It started off with a heavy rain the moment I stepped out of my house at 11.30, I was totally discouraged, I was already thinking of what to do if the atmosphere were cold, I thought of bringing cards and monopoly deals, and prepared to play chalet games and such, but I was totally wrong haha. Though many people flew kite on me, especially one that I thought he would definitely come, I was so afraid that it would turn out me solo in the room for a few hours, and that I would perhaps have no mood to sing but to join other random people. Oh well, all is well in the end =D

Ktv was uber fun~ especially when some violence came haha, there were slight pillow fights hahahaha. I especially remember the moment where Cecillia was sandwiched in between, and me and zhenghui hit her in turns using the pillows haha, she was absolutely owned~! Oh also there was this moment where yu qian used 2 pillows on zhenghui like swimming, hahahahahha, how i wished that i had took a video of her doing that haha~!!

After that went to eat and gossip, then played blind mice with the kids in the playground haha, had quite a lot of fun, before finally settled down in KFC for taiti. Awesome day =D Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, its not the end. =D Cant wait for the next few days and events! Visit to Samy tomorrow, then dental on monday, and badminton on tue, and SCC outing on friday~! bballing on sat and ktv again on sun~!! It's my life~! It's now or never~!!

Today was another awesome day, loved my life~! Went to SCC with an empty stomach and to my surprise, Auntie Imm reserved a MacDonald meal for me~!!! Auntie Imm FTW~!!

Today we spend the whole day rehearsing for the script I wrote for them for their talent quest on 24th. I wrote that this morning, for 2h, using the format I've learnt from the screenwriting workshop. I've included a trigger point for the story to start, some sort of problem. I managed to include some character personalities in it too, all except an emotional plot because generally the theme is singlish without foreign language and the outline of the story is rebellion against the stomach, then realized its worth, and then happily ever after. My effort paid off though, despite all the fret that they might find it lame and boring or kiddish. Alvin actually wanted to finish the skit first before enjoying their french fries tea break, Im really touched~!

Another thing is that Samantha came over and asked me about the results for marketing fundamentals because she saw me walking around with that thick book before my test that day. She told me that she had been praying for me for good results, she took me at my utterly vulnerable part, I was speechless, but came up with a reassuring line saying, I dont know the exact mark, but so far I am confident of an ace. Her gleaming face and that jump twist of her totally stunned me, it was heartwarming, and extremely touching, I had became a rather important person in her life at SCC besides Uncle Joe and Elizabeth Jie Jie. Actually in fact, besides probably my parents, no one was that jovial for my success than her, and that way she celebrate that, I had never experienced it before, it's definitely more sincere than anyone in my life, and that outburst of energy that not even my parents show me, or even worst, they would always feel 'not good enough' or simply they could not really show their joy because of their restriction being an adult.

This got me thinking, this was perhaps the reason I cried watching 'I not stupid', because of the very first line of the show, "When is the last time you applauded or congratulated your kids?" and followed by the lyrics "We can give ourselves the round of applause". In school, at home, there is just too much face-work and image consciousness that it deprives our chance to receive the outburst of energy and excitement to celebrate our victories.

Lastly, I played some real life counter-strike with the usual group before going to Tai's house to try out a home made game where we have to barter to win. Our objectives are to collect a certain number of unique goods, while food is consumed as family members increase, and the market supply and demand varies. When I'm free perhaps I would come up with a story with some scenarios to help aid the game and who knows, might be a possible game on the shelves of boardgaming cafes....

Anyway, some food for thoughts, using labelling theory, the court will not have the fairest judgement, because there are too many assumptions and stereotyping. For example, a man's business might be going down because of his wife's illness, but due to her death, he might be labelled as a murderer to kill her wife to solve his financial difficulties.

Words are like nets - we hope they'll cover what we mean, but we know they can't possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder.

Yeah~ tests are over. I would say I'm extremely satisfied with them, mostly because I didnt really study much, and lucky enough there are lots of application questions and leeway is given for definition questions. Especially today's geron, I NEVER studied that. Oh well, went to macd for a mini celebration, then head to SCC.

Sigh, lousy day with the p5s and 6s, best of friends taunting each other, hurling vulgarities and attacking their domestic-vulnerable areas. They are off the similar, if not same, boat, yet a small misunderstanding could led them scar ridden, scar on their friendship. Though in the end I think they patched back, not too sure about it since I went to play rounders with the p3s and 4s on requests. Either way, yea I especially feel the need to guide them, one is rather hard due to his temper and spoilt personality, but another totally needs care and attention, that I was rather fumed to hear his background. Now I have a new choice to answer the "If I won a million dollars" question, I would adopt him. =D I see a potential future for him, but sometimes the society turns a blind eye to those without colourful black and white... totally oxymoron.

Anyway, rounders with them (p3s and 4s) was a totally different experience, they cheered for other teams, they rejoice rationally, they had much more fun than what the older ones did at their march holidays. No tauntings, no booings, and most importantly more cheers directed at me... =D hahaha. The best moment was when I chased Xiu Wen from the 1st base, to the 3rd base, back to 1st base and then finally she gave up at the 2nd base. Someone laughed their chairs off... haha =D

It is really a nice place to work in, its exactly what the lyrics say, their heartwarming smiles would dissolve all the toils and hardwork we put in for them. Dissolve because they dont really disappear, just that we sort of spread them out and saturate them with those little wonders (their smiles). Sigh, but due to office politics and survival through monetary means, many awesome people left.

Back to topic, really an awesome day, and then at 7.30-9 I tutor a sec 4 guy for his maths, thats all for the day =D

zzz... been a busy week, wonder where should i start...

alright lets start on last fri, went to bowl with the SCC kids, had a really awesome time, i got a great group who seemed to keep striking haha =D oh yea, oh Colin's mum was there too, she seemed nice, rather assertive in her decisions, but mostly for his good I could see, perhaps that was a great opportunity to get closer to him, since many staffs had agreed I should influence him more. After that went to Tai's house, he showed me this horoscope thing that I swear is super freaky~!! It literally narrates my whole personality like a crystal glass. It even wrote that I used to be very introverted and do not really share my insights and problems to other people, which I have changed now. It is accurate to the extent that I'm very sociable, and people like to approach me for help, but lack of really strong bonds. It described me as someone who loves receiving encouragement too, and that I often do not know myself and my personality. Hmm... one day I should summarize the whole thing here....

Anyway, sat was the dumpling day~!! wrapping 10,000 dumplings for the elderly and needys at jurong west~!! really grateful for Jane and Delia to come down, forsaking their studies, to come to help, I'm very touched.... Met Jane's brother, he was very unhappy about it since he was dragged into it involuntarily, poor guy, but couldnt do anything because I cant just play bball to avoid people gossiping and such, sigh... Well, he looked like someone with bright future though =) and OMG his scrabble is.. crazy....

Okay, dumpling making is fun, and hilarious, haha I had a total of 4 coaches, and at one instance, I had 2 coached both at my right and left, coaching me at the same time! The funny thing is, they two are completely ying and yang~!! One told me that due to the lousy leaves, we have to extend it using 3 leaves so that it is long enough for us to wrap, but another said that beginners should just use 2 and produce small dumplings. Then the former one also insisted that we should squeeze the rice for the shape to form, yet another frown at it because she claimed that it would take longer for it to steam and wouldnt taste as nice. Then she also said that we should wrap big dumplings to sell, and again the other one said that since it is for charity, people would be willing to pay for small dumplings.... real joke~!!!!! haha~!!! oh yea i heard at sx's side, an auntie picked up a huge uncut mushroom and commented, "wah~! you wanna choke the old folks~!!" hahahahaha, really awesome fellows.

Besides dumpling making, I learnt the whole process of making dumpling, from preparing ingredients, scrubbing leaves, washing rice, cooking, steaming, and QC-ing, and storage-ing, almost all the jobs there. And on sun, I learnt how to be the event coordinator, being in charge of solving impromptu problems like rearranging performance schedules, calming performers, making sure the show goes on despite everything in chaos, the only thing I was pissed is that the emcee allowed a small girl to sing while the audience are all focused on the flag off for the delivery car's to send the dumplings to the homes. A great weekend I must say, I learnt alot. =D

On monday, I went to SCC after my POM exam. The exam was not as tough as I thought, someone up there was really kind to me for not killing me through the paper, I should be able to do rather well, looks like doing good deeds does increase karma =) Anyway, yea SCC was shorthanded that day, so glad I went to help out, and easing Shi Hua's role, had a great chat with her too, and learnt some recurring flaws in the organization - a great insights of office politics. I must say generally all the staff in SCC are awesome people, Auntie Imm is flexible to changes and would carry out affirmative actions and suggestions on the spot without much delay, she could handle all kids from p1 to p6, and could manage the whole organization well despite her age. It is these people that had made SCC run-able and fun. Auntie Margaret is also a strong women, balancing work and her family problems under serious conditions. Frankie is able to guide the kids from young the right way, and Auntie Rita is able to balance 2 work as well, and can handle her class in an unique way - a great auntie to speak to too~ Shi Hua was admirable, since she's new and have such capability to solo her work and taking charge of lots of things, its a pity she decided to leave. Sigh, may someone up there bless SCC to continue having such awesome people, and may they be recognized and treated fairly.

At night, I came up with few application questions for my class to apply sociology, revised with them and taught them sociology. They appreciated it, which made me really happy, hope they do well in the paper just now, I had all the definitions and criteria of something questions screwed up since I did not bother to remember them as I thought the paper would emphasize more on application rather than bookish die-die-memorize questions.... Oh well, que sera sera...

Im gonna be active in SCC for the next 3 weeks, hope I will continue to make differences. Oh yea, I took up the 'project' to have a sales-boost for the bubble tea shop. Hope I can get hand on experience and may I accomplish it with success and serenity with generous and sincere aids from people around me~!! jyjy KayaOtah~!!!

天越高，心越小

puzzled about this phrase, shouldnt our heart be more open (bigger) as we expand our horizon? what does the '小' here mean? 小 as in petty-ness, 小胸狭窄, or 小 as in emotionless? 天越高 definitely means the bigger our horizon is or understanding of the world is, does this phrase mean that they more knowledge we know the more we lost track of our initial goal of learning in this field and got carried away by other people's interpretation and theories that we have lost ourselves in the process? Or does it mean that the more we understand the world, the more we got emotionless and felt no pinch of the less fortunate, because one mountain is shorter than another? Or that the more we are aware about how big is the world, the more we are afraid to show off and we tend to be more cowardly and retreat back into our shells? Or simply means that the more we are aware of how big is the world, the more we are aware that we are rather small? hmm.... now i dont even know what 心 refers to.... -_-"....

Anyway, been addicted to 'Undercover Boss', I think it's really awesome to see that there are still out there in the world that are dedicated about their work, contented about their situation, and have not much moaning but stayed optimist and endured their living condition. Through them I'm more determined and convinced that the world is still rather beautiful, that people are still generally awesome.

They have reassured me that our dedication and love and passion in whatever we are doing will pay off one day, and that would be really wonderful, yes I'm still keen of working in the student care field especially those in the upper primary and lower secondary, where there are most cases of deviance and rebellion, and thus is precisely what we are for, to help and guide this kids, even if we let it be, we can at least prevent them from straying off too far.

I think it's really great for those bosses to step down for a week and be one with those in the entry level jobs of their companies, and experience what the company really needs, what the customers really need, who the company really needs. This way also the monetary distribution would be more fair in terms of dedication and hardwork, and will definitely boost the worker's morale.

However I do think that there is a need for those int he entry level job to have a little experience of the stresses and job scope for the higher position, about what they must manage, how to think ahead, how to deal with situations, this way they would feel more dedicated to work hard too after seeing how dedicated are their bosses.

天若有情天亦老, in utopia, there will be no emotion, no empathy, no connections, no boundaries, no life..... What a wonderful world it still is.....

Oh yea, forgot to mention... It turns out that all is but a misinterpretation =) silly me....

Today in geron we were learning about wise people and lonely people.

That brings me thinking... who would I be when I reach that age?

Below are some likely cases in my life:

When I was young,
I never needed anyone.
Makin' love was just for fun.
Those days are gone.

Livin' alone,
I think of all the friends I've known.
But when I dial the telephone,
Nobody's home.

Hard to be sure,
Some times I feel so insecure.
And love so distant and obscure,
Remains the cure.

All by myself,
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore.
All by myself,
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore....

Oh well, it would be the scenario if my expectation of quality of life is not on par with my current quality of life, what is the result? loneliness.... as this blog suggested, perhaps as a foreshadowing technique, I might end up feeling lonely despite having lived such fun life of ups and downs, filled with personal and vicarious experience from others. Since I'm a rather sensitive person, today someone I knew had a heartbreak again, on one hand this had been happening throughout my life, but on another I felt rather sad most probably due to empathy, sigh...

It seems to me that
There are more hearts
Broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again... naturally....

Lines of a song that would reached deep to the trigger for the nose to swell and made the tears fell... Seeing much social interactions and so many similar incidents, how ridiculous is life? led me thinking too...

2 right people at the wrong time
2 wrong people at the right time

both would result in heartbreaks...

the former would be in cases like external disapproval, or each party busy with their own work that they have to be separated, or that they have other close ones to worry enough that they neglected each other and resulted in conflicts, etc etc...

the latter would be in common cases where it all seems fine and neither willing to accept their ignorance that they might not be suitable for each other, or simply out of rashness that they got together and result in ugly endings.

brilliant lyrics of retro... retro ftw~!! ciao