Sat, the seemingly "boring" bible study has a new light. There was deeper issues than I thought. Mark 14 was about Judas Betrayal. Then, the topic went to whether it is pre-destined, and whether he was at fault. So the notion of satan entered into him could be figurative or literal, figurative in a sense that he allowed sin into his life. Jesus perhaps already know about the betrayal due to the prophesy, so deliberately chose this "black sheep" into his twelve. This proves that he is in control of time because he knew all that was gonna happened. So did he live only to fulfill this purpose? Perhaps no, he do have a choice to not allow sin into his life, perhaps if so, Jesus would picked another?

Then the issue came to the point where Jesus allowed Judas to sit with him and feast, which meant that Judas meant alot for Jesus, but though he knows he will betray him, he still gave him a sort of final choice, to repent, though he might already know its in vain. This kindda showed that even Jesus had this "pity" feeling, that his disciple would betray him after everything he had done. It's like the greatest grace ever. Here, the Youth Church was playing the song, Amazing Grace. So coincidental~!!! 

"Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me."

Sigh. So linnet casually posted a question, how good of a friend are we. I really dont know. With all the "rashness" in making close friends, I often think Im too emotional, to be easily closed with anyone, compared to sec sch. And yes alot of people come and go like CH and WD, and some I thought we could last long but didnt. =( 

Ive heard of stories where person A updates every single actions, quarrels, thoughts and feeling to person B even if it regards to the gf. Ive heard stories of people sharing all the problems and successes and go through together. Even the recent drama, Game Plan, the brothers reconciled, with the younger one tying the shoelace of the other just like how he did in his younger days. Really very touching. I wonder what are some of the things my current circle of friends would remember till their adult days. 

But anyway, really proud and happy to see someone with me, learning alot from me, and I gave him lots of life too. He remembered all the chinese phrases I used to spam him, 船到桥头自然直，天无绝人之路，飞机精华在于降落，etc etc, and I heard he often tell others what I told him. Really really glad. I mean, 18 years, I finally have one "disciple". Touched. Its really funny how people meet each other, I remember how I casually tell him about CCA stuffs, and about the wushu culture, and then asked whether he is serious about cell, and till date he is one of the few that really took the teachings seriously and many times when we talked he could even use verses to support his statements. Really cool. Again, dont wish to lose him, but then again, it is again a rushed friendship, and might be the same as all others, just close of a period, and distant again. Sigh.  

Then the next issue is what to do after witnessing how Jesus already know us better than we know ourselves. Judas chose to suicide after shocked that the prophesy was real and remorse  Peter on the other hand, went through the shame that he thought he wouldnt have, but became an important piece for His ministry. So is the suicide pre-destined too? I believe there must be some that are free will, and a infrastructure that might be predestined but might alter due to societal influence. Anyway, yea, its about picking up yourselves and giving yourselves another chance. 

Anyway, Fri BBQ turns out fine. I asked the girls to plan for games activity which they failed, I even took care of the food in hope there would be ice break. But then we just gotta simply push Jorgen into the pool and few of us to get wet and the fun kept rolling. The nice part is that the 94s just gotta make atmosphere and then have our nice catching up time at one corner. They told me a few things that I thought about it seriously and shall only reveal long time later.

But this had a big toll on me, there are ppl who are unhappy of the fee, I guess I might need to fork out a huge sum of money. Then today I left 20 from 75, I mean like OMG its too much. I shall not plan, organised or fork out anymore events already. I thought about it, the money I spend on people is too much, like easily 100 for people around me accumulated through the year, exclude presents and gifts and events, but expenses. I shall try to be a stingy guy for this sem and experiment how it would go.

And I gotta find a job soon cuz seriously parents are running out of money and jobless, I gotta produce results in these 5 years.

Oh btw I am reallllyyy realllly happppppiiiieeeee that Jorgen wore my full set I gave him, shirt, pants, shoes, when he waved I totally couldnt recognise him!!! He is sooooooo shhhuuuuaaaaiiiiii~!!!!! So happie I chose an awesome gift and he dont mind wearing it~!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooo hooooooo~~~~~~~!!!!!!!

Wed tried double dutch jumping rope, first time in my lifetime!!! finally after so long!!! someone that knows that!!!!! woohoooo thank him alot alot alot alot!!!

Thur I was supposed to try clubbing. Yet due to lack of money, we decided to have night cycling instead. So that was with DQ, JL and WD. Started the day crawling up to bed, and just as I took a rest at BCC, the girls came in, and then decided to do something, which then made one of the clique to make a little fuss, disrupted my rest, oh well, kids.

So anyway, we went to Macpherson for carrot cake and chee cheeong fun, then Serangoon RK house. Today I tasted prata boom. Really interesting, and lastly slacked at concourse before heading to east coast for sunrise with only 1 survivor.

Well, as we waited for sunrise, it was 3 person, and then 1 went back first. Sad, always wanted to watch the sunrise with that person, never really had it. Then, the last person stayed, and we caught the nice sunrise. Figuratively, perhaps this arrangement/coincidence meant something?

While we chat, I mentioned about social support models. There's the hierarchical compensatory, means that there will be an order of priorities, of people that you will go to for any problem. Then, there is the task-specificity model, which means that the person they turn to depends on what the problem is, eg a neighbour for plumbing, friend for emotional, parents for financial.

The new era of social support model is probably the Convoy model. However, the original idea of it is just a set of close relationships, that will rotates and turns about after time. Adding on to this, I would like to imagine a big circle, and a small circle in it, in the way that the small circle has its diameter become the radius of the big circle.

So as we move on in life, the total social circle or connections is like a big circle, and in it, a small circle, the middle of the small circle is us, and the small circle circulates, in a random manner, probably with clusters of mutual connections here and there to determine the position of these connections in the big circle, so the closeness of the relationship is constantly changing from close to distant and perhaps to close again some time in life. 

This is why sometimes randomly we are suddenly close to a person we know, and suddenly it drifted and another person comes along. Sometimes you are so close that you share deep secrets or personal passwords but then as the relationship drifted, you change the password or do not speak about something in hope the person might forget one day. Well, such is a circle of life I guess.

This is why as much as I did not agreed, silently, with Grandma back then when she said that "people come easily go easily", guess Im too emotional and plunges myself into establishing relations too fast, and often after awhile drifted and feel a little hurt. Thank god I wasnt interested in romance or I would hurt even more.

Anyway really thankful for the person cuz he shared many personal stuffs, though to recall, I dont think I have one complete information due to my mind of sieve, at least as he blurts it out, it would sort of relief him of some kind of burden in his heart. Its good to talk things out, though I might not be a good choice I tend to mix up, forget or dont care haha.

Well, big day today, 2h slp, gonna be busy for the day till midnight again.  CIAO

The week is ending, with so many cancelled class, I still feel lethargic.

Mon we went to visit J and his new dog Benji!! =) cute dog. I noticed how the siblings interacted and mingled with the dog. Well, hopefully the dog could be the catalyst of their siblings relationship. He has always been quite a lone warrior, and obviously like many people, attitude at home is not very desirable  and communications with her is hindered. Furthermore, even the mum stepped in to help.

I guess this is a new season of life. Every season, my life seemed to have a drastic change, from academic fluctuations, to change in management, to new people dropping in and out of my life, there is nothing really constant. I guess its a new season of life, new sets of emotions. Whatever the case, I really hope the best for everyone around me. Well, gonna have a private meeting with lin soon, I gonna raise the issue of social bonds and spiritual growth, as well as trying to reach out to GO. As suspected, he comes from an incomplete family with loneliness in his life. His life is full of anime, and some few close classmates. Gonna bring life to this kid too.

Ok, tue had wushu as usual, dragged in DQ and WD, before that went to the bbt shop, when I arrived, saw this pri thin boy, pri fat boy squating down crying, sec sch thin boy, sec sch fat boy. So I thought they were brothers and friends, playing around and got into accident. The situation only came into the light when the bbt auntie told me the sec fat boy scared the crying one using fire when he wanted to go home. The pri thin boy is unrelated but dared to stand up for him. Sigh, due to his size, Im afraid the bully cycle continues, he grow up to be bullies as well. Dang, how naive of me. Then the sec thin boy asked for cigarrette and claimed that he is 18, wth, seow seow pu bo kia mai gei khiang hao lian.

雨一直下 风一直刮
谁与我煮酒论天下

Midst the strong gail
And the wind prevail
Full cup of Martini
Who is the one still with me?


漫天恩恩怨怨的变化
谁为我泡壶热茶?


Change is the only constant

Filled with much emotion
Which soul would brew me
A cup of tea?


A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Thankful for such friends in my life. XD

Yesterday, Fri, I went for Katong Laksa finally after sooooo long, and then met up with Jor and Serb. I asked Nick to come along. We went for squash, though initially I wanted Ice Skating, but budget wise, I chose squash. In the end, we managed to play for 30 mins only because we do not have the rackets, thus I was thinking to invest on 2 rackets for future purposes. Then some of them came to me with that pissed off look, seriously, I know its hard to go along with my behavior, attitude and activities, I warned you, so its your choice, dont spoil my mood! Cant everyone be more Nick, striking intelligent debates once in a while, carrying an open heart and welcomed learning and knowledge to everything and enjoys company.

Well, as I observed, for the past few days except that Bball day, he is really quiet. I knew something was wrong with them, so Serb told me. After hearing it I thought that it is a small matter, they should be able to handle it themselves, I told her that if it's big matter, then they should find a mutual party to decide, if they are sincere of resolving it, if not, then its just small couple fights, bickering, and these actually renews love, and assures love, very common and nothing to worry about. There isnt a perfect relationship, just that when a couple is together, they are both trying, and will stay as long as they can compromise each other due to love. She exaggerated and etc etc, sigh. So then I decided not to dance at esplanade but go to wushu, till midnight, and conduct sort of "sociological field research" in his house by having a stayover. Haha, turns out everything is fine, I am rather proud of them. I see their progress, and I guess my prediction of their "lifespan" as a couple might be broken haha. I felt as if Im some cupid or matchmaker, making people come together and establish a long term happy relationship. Next sem gonna be really busy, guess I will start from scratch again. It's a new sem, it's a new life.......

Anyway, still, I miss the times when he would just dump everything in my bag, and enjoy the time together, instead of fixating at his phone and only come back to reality once in a while, like a Meerkaat stare. Well, phones can be good to keep the relationship attached, but it really makes people take other people for granted. The perception of time is lost. They wont treasure the time together physically. And even to a couple, though able to talk alot, but it lacks that real tangible time in a sense that they have to ignore everything and treasure that moment, it makes every moment together more sincere and memorable.  

Really, maybe thats my purpose...... like the "Man who comes from Earth", to re create a new life, a new environment, a new social circle, a new image, a new identity every 10 or 20 years. 

That might just be my insecurity. Well anyway, as I said "the urge to want a dog comes during this thing (rs), thus Im guessing you harness a sense of insecurity that you wanted a stable long term companion. He did not disagree. XD

Okay, off to teachers meeting. 

Today supposed to go KTV with Weide, but due to the nice weather I took my parents to Garden By The Bay. It is a nice place, a little bit like Botanical Gardens but less natural. A nice peaceful feeling to be close to agriculture, and took a few photos for mum. Then, took them for dinner at Lau Pat Sat, thats where I met Weide. After that, went to stroll along Singapore River with him. Perhaps someday shall go in Avalon.

Interesting chat with him. I made him come to wushu every tue, and shall try to persuade the Ace Team to come as well to increase popularity of Eunos wushu. Well, when everywhere else is dying down, bedok has revived, thats cool! shall take it to a new level, eunos! haha. DQ is definitely interested, shall make him stay too. Alot of life philosophy could be derived from wushu principles. 

Anyway, so was chatting with him about life ba I guess, updating each other. Strange, met him in sec 1, as classmate, its funny how I befriended a guai-lan-kia last time, and was not very close, but eventually came into wushu, came into church, then now in city harvest, and we live a different kind of life. When we get together, its like a new lesson every meeting. Sadly, he remembered more words from me than I from him. Today we were chatting about the world today.

Definitely, there would be a higher being. From the Jurassic era, there are carnivores, but the herbivores has shells and spikes to defend themselves. Fishes, as much as they are easily eaten, they produce a lot of eggs, and vice versa, those dangerous animals have limited population. Grasses too, grow back easily after swept cleaned by locusts. Everything seems to have a balance, except humans.

So one theory I heard, is that whoever on top are growing too, started off with physical conflicts, then into this generations of deceptions and laws, and to technology next. So definitely, if there were to be a second coming, He would most likely be sitting with the confused people and the blinded people.

Well, sometimes we wonder why the income disparity, it is probably due to culture. Certain culture saves a lot, while others spend on luxuries and expresses their happiness through celebrations. Thus, the disparity starts. Then, is the resources, the richer gets better teachers, educations, connections, facilities, and the poor gets under-qualified volunteers. Then, for a nation to grow, the citizens got to "pia", got to strive harder. This encourages competition to have breakthroughs. Every winner has a loser, but society advances. If we were to be a welfare state, we wouldnt have much inventions and achievements, because of our lazy nature. So, disparity is sure to exist for society to advance. Without advancement, society could really be boring.

Then, government cant tax the rich to give to the poor, because that will turn off the rich to come to singapore and spend, by spending, they increase consumer spending, gdp goes up, they helped economy, they give survival to goods and service providers, they invest in new businesses.

Oh speaking of investing, a friend was thinking how to utilize his 5k savings, (because leaving in bank is devalue-ing, due to high inflation rate and pathetic interest rate) after researching, I think its hard. Unless physical investment like gold, because at least the value goes along with the "value" of that physical asset instead of money, which is virtual and easily manipulated. To invest into companies without IPO, have to have lawyers, and agreements, and deal directly with founder, will require large amount of money. This amount can only play stocks, which then will require time, which he doesnt have. So, why not start a small entrepreneur  blogshop, pasar malam, carts? or even a couple of month trial of a small cafe? Or can even realize another friend's dream of turning the card game into a marketable game. Hmm....  But I strongly lean on small cafe, so mum could help, and could publicize her cooking skills, and can have a start her 30 years or so career.  

Today I brought Jor and Joh for bball with Alvin, and then Malcolm and DQ came along. I had the first awesome match with Malcolm and Alvin. We actually won 10-5 first match but lost 10-6 second cuz the arrogant fuck came along. As much as I am angry of such arrogant bastard, I really admired the clique cuz they seemed to be nice people, yet have to stand such pain in the ass. 


Anyway, then we took refuge from the torrential rain at bedok cc, taught them bridge, and slacked around playing chess. Lastly we had KFC which got me diarrhea till now. Well, not surprising, the biggest meal I had ever had, 1 ultimate box plus 2 pc meal, for me only. 

So at night, I listened and consulted a friend. He observed our cell clique, and commented that they might not last, just as I thought. In my opinion, it is only Lin and YJ holding it together. Some of the members are obvious. Another one of the member I dont consider "cliqued" but that person actually enjoyed our company and the friend says that this person would appreciate and give time for us. Then, another member seemed to be the one most probably to last. However, lets say the core is disrupted, meaning, Lin, YJ, Me, were to leave, they wouldnt be together soon. That got me rather disappointed though I know this fact silently myself.  

Well, as what I said to another friend. I admired olden days workers, loyal factory workers, and students. 一日为师终身为父, once a teacher, forever a father. I admired Jiaolian and his bunch of ZhuJiaos, and ofcoz Shixiong, to have the 4 of us always there. Well, I do hoped to have just one student, that I can part every bit of me, and carry on my legacy, but guess im just not the ingredient. 

Was watching "Big Fish" the other day, about exaggerated fairytale based on account of the grandfather, which towards the end of the story, the father realized that everyone has a story, most men, they'll tell you a story straight through. It won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either. So sometimes, these elaborated tales are their legacy, that as it is passed down, the dead became alive, seemingly immortal, being that "Big Fish"

Then I watched Ice Age 4. Some cool quotes are: "I lost a pack, but I gained something more, Ive gained a herd, a family, that got each other's back." and also, besides all the friendship theme, there is a sub plot of greed, that a squirrel's greed caused so much destruction to the world and the "scratlantis". 

I was crapping, but I thought it's rather cool, like Nasi Lemak, life needs additional stuffs liek the chicken, the ikan bilis, or the egg and chili, however, the nicest Nasi Lemak is determined by the fragrance of the rice that comes from the coconut milk and the pandan leaves, which skillful cookery skills and the quality of the rice itself to absorb it. 

Life is really funny, people come and go, happiness come and go, nothing last........ shall enjoy as much. As Grandma always say, be neutral, so we wont be too affected, but I insist to ride the roller coaster instead of sitting back with the popcorn. Yet sometimes I find I reveal too much that what if they become a threat one day, well, who knows anyone might turn to the dark side one day. Sigh.

A poem I thought of, after thinking much about the theme of secrets and shameful things that people might have done and are private and personal. 

Shame, are perhaps things, to be kept out of 
Everyone, yet sometimes you just cant
Control, and leaves you feeling
Regretful, or puzzled why so, that
Everything, might soon be out with
Time, being its accomplice. 
Such shame.

Today had a great chat with JiaoLian. He was sharing to us about theories. He started off giving the analogy of why certain table arrangement. he explained that everything has its reason. Then, he go to the normal topics about studies, and then to business. This interesting part is the business part.

He explained that long time ago, factory is a symbolism of wealth and riches. However, nowadays, people wouldnt like fixed assets because it would become liabilities when economy is bad. Then, he went on talking about workers attitude. He mentioned about part-timers. He gave us an interesting chain reaction scenario about a part-timer in a restaurant acquiring the skills and then jump job for further self improvement, which then lead to the drop of quality. Part-timers are easily replaced.

Then he explained the positive impact of foreign talent to increase sales and consumer spending. This I believe is related to the Aggregate Demand formula, that affected economy.

He also mentioned about learning the ropes as an employee first before being the employer. This is just like how from breaking ice in the BBT shop, I eventually learnt the recipe, opening and closing shops, cooking pearls and ordering the raw ingredient. Johann and Me did that too, suggesting ideas for our supervisor and accepting any tasks given to us even though it is not in our job scope.

He finally mentioned about fee, so that people would appreciate what was taught. Similar to the consultation fee theory I spoke in blogs ago. Anyway, really thankful for JL to lecture. I think what most strike me is the 4 stable jobs that will guarantee your survival. Survival means to not be eliminated in the society, to be able to enjoy basic necessities, food and minimal luxuries. One, is teacher, because knowledge is forever, and the passion of a teacher would draw students to come forward and free word of mouth marketing. Two, is doctor, because no matter how bad is the economy, there will be illness, and be an honest doctor, that dont scam, to earn hearts and loyalty, to be able to eat 3 meals a day even if there is no riches. Three, is lawyer, though the dark world of politics, be the just lawyer that is able to earn enough money to survive without compromising any of your conscience. Lastly, is boss, because your ideas will never run out.

This got me thinking if I should go to the education sphere or the business sphere. I dont think Im a good teacher, sometimes passion is not enough.

Anyway, then we met up with the TCM auntie, who is 80, and similar to my grandma, religiously doing squats and various exercise to keep the body fit. It really takes them a great deal of self discipline to crawl out of bed every morning.

Then, we planned a surprise homecoming for Sheng, though not sure how surprised he is.....

JB tmr XD

Was watching summarized Econs videos.

To summarize them again, there are 6 videos:

The first is about the free market theory, micro econs, where the market will play itself with people in it. The equilibrium of demand and supply.

The second video is about the paradox of thrift - whether to spend of not? Early economist believed it’s better to save so that people have more buying power, and banks can use the money to invest on technology to increase efficiency. However this might result in lost of jobs due to replaceable workers and low wages, so unemployment goes up. Similarly, if we should spend and invest, we have lesser spending power, thus goods and businesses would have lesser and lesser buyers or investors, and might increase unemployment too.

The third talks about Phillips curve of high employment, high wages, increasing inflation. But because people can see the curve too, they started to demand higher wages when employment is high because of foreseen inflation, which would cause unemployment to go up while inflation goes up too.  Then both when down.

The forth is about Principle of Comparative Advantage. It is about countries specializing to a certain product for all nation to mutually growth instead of imposing taxes to prevent imports.   Yet again it is a slow way for countries to prosper, so people start to move to where the money is, which cause imbalance and defeats the initial intention of it.

The fifth is about the Impossible Trinity. Exchange rate, Interest Rate or Capital Flow. Exchange Rate Stability would ensure stable export and import rates. Interest Rate is to keep borrowers happy without upsetting savers because low interest rates would cause more people to borrow and more cash flows. Capital Flow is to keep money coming in and going out of the country.

However, the trinity could not work all at the same time.

If Exchange Rate is fixed and Capital Flow is free, Interest rates will variant (like China today)

If Capital Flow is Free, and Interest Rates are fixed, the Exchange Rate will fluctuate (like Britain – or Canada)

If Exchange Rate is fixed, Interest Rates are not touched to fight inflation or recession, then there is no control of the Capital Flow (like Argentina today)

The last video is about social influence. 

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life~

Mastering the art of anger is not easy, if using it wrongly, its like grasping hot coal with the intent of throwing it to someone else, you burn your hand first, so anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

Today was talking about family. Then a friend expresses that he hated quarrels, and that adults often vent in on children. Well, sadly thats a fact of life, its a primitive nature for us to display our masculinity, to show our dominance, to feel superior, so often parents come on on a load of anger and frustrations from work, then load it onto the innocent children. Sigh. 

So it reminds me on my days in indo, swarmed with mosquitoes. Initially, I ignored it until the bite gets too much and too big, then I kill them. But after the first few kills, there's this uncontrollable reflex that tends to clap on the mosquitoes the moment I see another appear. Similarly, I think the feeling would be the same for bullying and abuse, or even murders. Same as boxing too, thats why there needs to be a mediator in friendly match, to prevent it turning unfriendly. In these cases, the thrill and dominance escalates. 

Luckily for me, my parents are like the cartoon Ive seen, a couple quarreling, then the rain came, the husband sheltered the wife from the rain, but continued quarreling. Haha, it still shows he cared, thus they are trying to solve a problem. In a relationship, its not about not getting conflict, but how to solve them, and the post effects. 

Sometimes, when people is anger, that anger is momentary, because he cared, because he wants you to improve, because he has expectations on you.  However, his favour, his mercy, his grace, his love, is forever, eternal. 

Today I spent the day catching up the new drama, and then watched Bucket List, about 2 old ppl with less than a year left, fulfilling their bucket list before they die, and found happiness, joy, and excitement in life. It's really inspiring, to see how complete stranger cliques on and the rich one even sponsored the poor for all the adventures. Would I have such companion in the future? 

Speaking of companion, in my opinion, people sometimes keep dogs because they want a companion, because of insecurity, but it might also means he demands obedience too. I chose to think that a friend of mine wanted to have one due to the first reason. 

Okay back to the movie, I just love this following quote, Morgan Freeman always have this kind of voice that makes everything seems wise. This quote is saying that a successful or meaningful life is determined by how much influence or help have you made to the people around you. 

You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you. 
- Morgan Freeman at Bucket List

I saw this mom with 2 kids on an overhead bridge recently, the kids are naked due to lack of money for clothes, so the mother used the baby carrier as a blanket for them. They slept soundly, and the look in their eyes are as if they are contented in that state, with mother's love. Kindda strike a thought on me that we should be contented in life, with simple gifts of love and life.

There are actually may things in life we wanna possess of, due to our selfish nature, but that would result in so many "losers", because with the limited resource, one either have it all or have it none, wouldnt it be nicer to be contented with the things you can afford to possess, and enjoy the things that others possess through building friendship and social connections. Then, we could actually have it all by sharing what we have and be shared of what we lack. As I write this, an old lady came into the LAN shop selling cakes, I bought 2 only, she was delighted, on cloud nine. So contented. =,( 

 Actually, the true simple miracle in life is to be patient with those who loves you - family n friends, give and take. We tend to be very different ppl outside and at home, why cant we control ourselves at home as much as we do outside?

 There are more stories but abit more personal, but this trip home re-assured that adversities could be conquered, with a contented heart. Contented. Contented.

Speaking words of wisdom~ Let it be~~

Then another scene is a dog barking at the mother cat but playing and caring for the kittens, so cute lorh, kindda reminds me of that quote, "no matter how evil one can be, he will still answer the fake telephone a child give to him". LAN was closed so I gotta resort in paying lots for this slow like snail internet.

I heard more stories of people as I interacted, some ppl are just so rich that they can just buy plots of lands for each of their children to do business, even fail he also dont mind. Buying luxury cars for son in US which in the end havent even complete uni sell back assets and come back indo. Sometimes born into a silver spoon not good, gotta start from scratch, then slowly move up. 

My trip back here im reminded of all these ppl with problems, yet contented with life, easily satisfied, what more our normal sch stress, not even financially debt-ridden yet..... We are really blessed in sg, I hope all of you will appreciate what you have. 

Grandma had a few inspiring quotes, one of it goes like "Friends come easily goes easily"". Someone asked me what if we purposely make it hard, I replied, then it wouldnt be natural, its instead easy too, cuz its easily manipulated. Well, she is always a very diplomatic kind of person, her philosophy is more of she and herself against the world, in a sense she is neutral to all relation. She often advice to not have too good or too bad relationship with ppl around, to avoid being hurt. Its hard for me to do that now. All I know is im starting to feel insecure. but he holds one of my deepest secret. Hmm.

Thats when I was reminded of a quote my friend wrote not long ago, Sin Fai: 

 Sometimes we can't trust those whom we trusted, and we should have trusted those whom we don't. Sometimes we trusted ourselves to not trust those whom we don't and trusted those we thought we should. After all, it's all down to trusting your very own trust, whether or not to trust those we do and those we do not. In the end, we end up not trusting our very own trust, concluding not to trust anyone. We then come to realise, we can't just simply not trusting everyone, and there goes again, the Trusting Loop, or maybe the Distrusting Loop...

So after dwelling on that and watching some movies, I thought: 

 You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough. After all, trust and honesty is an investment you put in people and yourselves. As we open up, as we trust, we are actually liberated of the cotton wool stuffed in our lungs, that stifled us before. Then, its a matter of hope that the investment grows. Trust is a risky business. The inability to trust your own trust to trust, is the foe of courage and love.

"I can't stop thinking about the others out there, all those mind that I touched. I could feel them, their isolation, their hopes, their ambitions. I tell you we can start something incredible, Erik. We can help them. " - Charles Xaxier

Sometimes, I think superhero movies exist because we all have a wish, a hope, a fantasy that could only be realized in fiction.

And then a hero comes along~ 
 with the strength to carry on~ 
 and you cast your fears aside~ 
 and you know you can survive~ 

And when you feel like hope is gone~
 look inside you and be strong~ 
 and you finally see the truth~ 
 that a hero lies in you~~~

It's amazing to realize that living in simplicity gives true contentment. We go as we come to this world. In the end, nothing is ours to keep. So let's share what we have, smile, knowledge, hugs, kind words, and most of all, "LOVE".

Quoted by a facebook friend:
yeah, happens to me at times too as I may think too much at times (but am working on getting rid of this habit) :P If we analyse deeper, actually everything around us is 'emptiness' and nothing is permanent. Once we understand this, we will not be too attached to the things around us and am more likely to be grateful for all that we have :) After all, simplicity is bliss :)

Sometimes, I think I really talked too much. Was chatting my feelings out to someone, and made the person kindda disappointed because the person thought I was always contented and happy. Sigh, should have just shut up. Anyway, gonna turn in early, tmr planned to cycle to Jor house, gym, bugis shopping, dinner, and possibly wushu, before flying tmr.....

Well, life is funny, it always deems that there are no endless banquets, all feasts comes to an end, but then again, we are so used to predicting, noticing trends and patterns, but perhaps life isnt always like that?

Anyway, the end of something might always be a start of something new.....

More progress in conversation with some friends =)

Ok another drama concluded. This time, the ending was rather satisfied, the 2 main characters got together some side characters too, all have a happy ending, the girl fought hard for that lawyer and succeeded haha, and that extra ex went out of the picture too, everything is okay except that the "3rd party" girl became single, though she thanked him for changing her as they went into the relationship. Sad for her, Luo Ling, I mean initially I do dislike her cuz its simply the main guy character, Zheng Ye,got her to share her problems, so they became together because of one night. But she so demanding, unlike that girl which took care of the lawyer dad. So Luo Ling only trusted Zheng Ye since she was such an introvert, thus she mistook that as love, but it was not,  it stifled Zheng Ye cuz he always the one giving in. Anyway, sort of happy ending for her too, she changed for the better in personality, and is free again, happy with her family, sometimes at the end of relationship, just be glad it started and lasted, and aim for a better one, no need weep and cry father cry mother.  

Oh was speaking of Bruce n Evan Almighty that got me recalling back the awesome quotes:

God: Let me ask you something... If some one prays for patience, you think god gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does god gives them courage? Or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If some one prayed for the family to be closer, you think god zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce, it's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want Me to do everything for them, but what they don't realize is, they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

=Distant Moon= Mid Autumn Series - Kyanta Yap, 2012

When will the moon shine bright again?
Why such distant, why so faint?
View from afar, will it be same?
For all creatures, madam and dame?

The lonesome night, caressing breeze
Where you may be, I toast to thee
The moon bleary, but longeth you see
That I’m alone, and c’est la vie

Engulfed by darkness, vast abyss
Where’s your companion, where’s your bliss
Are you not cold, where you reside
Do you too wish, for one beside

Gaze on the earth, only at night
Watch us sleep, your only delight
Ever changing, no constancy
I wonder what year could it be?

When will the moon shine bright again?

Where you may be, I toast to thee 

Are you not cold, where you reside

I wonder what year could it be?

Last year on this very day, was the saddest day of my life, I felt a great deal of emptiness without any reason. This year I had an empty house, I thought it would be worst, but no. Though I was thinking to build candles, play sparkles, carry lanterns, just like kids do, with a group of people like Wushu or Cell, but then there are schedule clashes and exams for them. So anyway, I went to eat a large meal at Han's, Lamp Shank, with a cider. Then, I went for the Geyland Serai Community Singing, followed by Eunos Mid Autumn Celebration, both with the GOH Fatimah Lateef. Then Dequan came for dinner, and coincidentally, as I reach Jo's carpark, he just came back from his Grandma's house, so he joined me for a while too, to enjoy the moon. 

The moon gave light for us every night, yet our cameras normally could capture that raw beauty, the translucent texture, that glaring glow, so we gotta take some time to enjoy it. Well, its a worth it effort. =)

Su Dong Po wrote the poem that inspired me to produce the one above

 明月幾時有
 把酒問青天
 不知天上宮闕
 今夕是何年

 人有悲歡離合
 月有陰晴圓缺
 此事古難全
 但願人長久
 千里共嬋娟

I recently I thought that he wished for Longevity for mankind, because it only so, then we have more time opportunity to meet up with friends far apart, but for now, lets enjoy the same moon on the same sky, no matter where you are...... Thats really true, time is so limited, yet everything is changing, we really yearn that we have more time to appreciate each and every one around us.