Time flies, Xmas this year was different. We, Me&JTS used to spend Xmas on sx attic, this year was so different. No one turn up at sx's house, and everything was last minute and not planned. At my side, I only managed to get a few of them over. So I decided to combine mine and sx, so we ate at sx house and then drank at my house. It started off quite standard, then slowly the ice is broken, to the point I think I let out all my secrets away. It's really scary thing, though there is this sense of freedom, like the chains are gone, free from the burden of things, but then at the same time, fear creep in as they all know me completely now. But the fear was managed by the thought that these are the people who will stay with me into the future.

Yet again, though the nice moment, it was not as cosy as the one at sx's attic, where it all left the few of us just chatting, I find that somehow chatting with tai one on one is really cosy and warmth, even better than J, though it could be because of maturity points of views and experience, or just that his language is more assuring and comforting. It's a sad feeling when 5 years of friendship and you know nothing about someone, at least in my opinion.

The next day, wanted to sleep after sending them off, but after breakfast with parents, surfed the web and watched dramas here and there, and then gotta go bedok point to hunt for present. I got a "mindless" one for the moment just to fill the atmosphere, I'm thinking of the Jacket at malaysia which cost 80 ringgit, gosh how am I gonna afford it.

Then, at night, the cell, nick, zh, J and S came over for the gathering. Started off awkward and nothing much to do, until we went for a huge Zhi Char dinner costing $88!!! Nice number~!!! And then back to my house for  snacks. Then we started singing some songs and then the gift exchange. We did it like the Secret Santa format. We all draw lots to buy a gift $10-$15 for our recipient. Then we exchange. I thought that they would open them on the spot thus I bought mine a jacket. If known earlier I would have bought underwear cuz it would be more practical because he lacks them hahahha! Then we had bball for the night. Again so nice to see a group of them playing the bball over the half court, makes the "electrons" more attracted to the core. Hahahas! Really liked to see people having fun together, especially in a rather big group.

People come, people go, this topic surfaced once more. I still couldnt accept this harsh changes.

Say for example, about T leaving wushu, midst of all the busy schedule, we totally forgot about planning one xmas gathering together, neither new year. I mean like its not about being in a group, but the friendship that we have forged over the years!  We not gonna lose someone just because the person walk out of a group. This is exactly my fear, whether there are such things as true friends, who could have nothing in common yet able to go the extra mile for one another and totally be yourselves and have fun together, achieving mutual understanding about priorities and commitments. 

I guess thats where the wall theory comes again, people build different walls between different groups, some higher some lower, and with different colours, and thats where they will realize some walls are matching or complimentary, thats where they have common identity. 

Then today, I rejected all 3 meetings because I wanted some time to sleep and alone time, REALLY SRY ~!!!!!!!! in the end woke up so early at 8! with 5h of sleep for 2 days, and a week of inadequate rest!! Cant believe it, so then I started to watch City Hunter, until I decided to watch miotv and realized the TV is spoilt. So instead of Gardens by the Bay, we decided to go Courts, and then tomorrow to Expo, Bugis and then MBS. So the day is peaceful, a Sabbath for me, nice being all alone and quiet once in a while. Wanted to visit wushu and sleep at J house but in the end I reached home 10pm on the news he is sending her home so lazy so over, though got nothing to do with sending her home, more of lazy and City Hunter. Anyway, watched 15 episodes today~

City Hunter made me think, why love when you know its gonna fail? A topic most guys thought and experience before. Also, would you sacrifice for a better future of your beloved? Alot of heroic stories I heard around me, really really really admired them. Would you risk to love then? Maybe my life is so that I could understand the feeling of people, and similar to that feeling, the feeling of forbidden love, where love is restrained by societal/family or external reasons, like the Werwolf Boy, Romeo Juliet, Homo, or internal reasons like afraid of your own mind??? Its across any genre, be it animal-human, girl-girl, boy-boy or girl-boy.

2012 is a hectic year, still prefer 2011 though, but oh well, look ahead, Sincerely hope for a happier future~~

‎"And man will live forevermore, because of Christmas Day!"

I remembered this song when I was a child, sleeping peacefully at the back seat of Mercedes, parents just had a argument or something, and then as this song was played, they stopped and then suddenly they were talking about something about me, which switched their focus to me, and they filled me with the love and greatness of their parenthood.

Next is that during the JB trip, was looking at someone who slept with his head against the bus window, and  thought back about the time where Dad actually put his arms around me and "cushioned" my head with his palm, having his palm on my head and his knuckles on the glass. And I longed for that warmth again.

He just came in my room suddenly and wished me a Merry Xmas. XD Awesome Dad.

This Christmas was probably not as well planned as last year, but actually, Xmas is all about love ad joy, I guess this year I might spend my Xmas day with my parents out anywhere, before the mini party at night, and gifts exchange day on 26th.

Right kindda recalled the Thanksgiving list for an awesome friend, made it into 12, fits the 12 days of xmas theme hahas XD:

Thanks giving:

  1) Frankness and Openneess
  2) Chilli Crab, Buffet and other Food
  3) Sending parents off
  4) Mutual Trust
  5) Friend
  6) Be there waiting for me (pri gathering, expo, etc)
  7) House and Hospitality
  8) The outings, kites, cycling, and to spend time in special days
  9) Make Snowskin Mooncakes and Tang Yuans
 10) Listening Ear and Feedback
 11) To wear the set I gave him =)
 12) Acceptance and Forgiveness

Well, sadly though, i heard no others wished him Merry Xmas, just as how some other person told me I was the only one that did so. 

Anyway, he is just awesome, I remembered when he go to Korea, he buy souvenirs mostly for friends, and only snacks for himself, and this time, he was so focused on presents for Secret Santa and his gf. Omg, sometimes his "sweetness" is really too sweet that I think its unhealthy to do so, like too much of a lavish love. Sigh, she's really lucky, oh well, other ppl stuffs.......

Back to topic, Xmas, yea, looking forward how this year would wrap up. =)

23rd: Went for Xmas service, they invited the orphans from Indo to come over for choir performance. They were so adorable!! But I think they look younger than what they are. They sang with much emotion and joy on their faces. =) Something they said in the vid was true, like its rather sad to conduct those interviews about their broken past, about their unhappiness that they tried so hard to leave behind. They lived with so much looking after one another and all, and they must go through the memory trips again. Sigh..... =(

Then Elder Jeffery spoke! He's so cute! He tends to clamp his hands together, grasping the mic, so cute! His main theme was God's love. He started off talking about Human Love and how they fail.

First was Self-Love, narcissistic behaviors, and all the benefit seeker. In a away, most of us is full of self-love, do we really seek opinions of others before deciding on their needs? This also includes the NIMBY attitude.

Second was Eros, the lustful nature of romantic love. Its sad when nowadays people no longer make love, but they make porn, they have been infested with much fantasy and delusion about the act. It's supposed to be a pristine and harmonious act when they are "vulnerable" to each other, and be made as one.

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Third was Friendship, can we really trust friends? Who are our friends? Due to the nature and personality of humans, sometimes I guess we do not mean to disappoint someone, but somehow or another we still fail to meet the expectation. Friends do disappoint. Sometimes I feel that too. Sometimes I do admit I have high expectations of the people around me, that I often felt disappointed. 

Forth was Kinship, who are our family? With the inadequacy of parental capabilities of modern parents and all, its really a big question as to make makes a family? What is an ideal family? One of strong bonds, gender equality in division of labour, sense of family responsibility, committed to strive for the best for the family... etc? Family fails too.

24th: Went to JB with Jor and DQ with Serb family. Thankful for J for being with me most nights this week. We chat alot this week, I even had a long list of thanksgiving for him on one of the nights, and some "follow up" listed at the following night haha. He is perhaps someone I can totally trust, no holding back, discuss anything and everything freely about. I asked him for a favour to perform academically too. Oh btw he could Jukebeat too!! Wow and can attain A at lvl 8 difficulty in that lousy machine, though he still consider himself rusty.

And lastly!!!!

Soooooo happie my parents sent me a Xmas video~~ while im at malaysia cuz they thought they could not stay up to 12mn...... MERRY XMAS MUM DAD!!!!!! They seldom sent greetings~~

It's not the longevity, but the quality of life, which is most important. - Luther King

Agreed. As Gerontologist Ive totally broaden my mind to see the different sides of ageing. It shatters all the stereotypes the world has put on ageing. Few days back, I actually met Mr Koh, yes, KNS, Koh Nai Siew, my P5 higher chinese teacher. A real bliss of seeing him again. He has been a great teacher kept narrating chinese cultural stories and moral lectures. He is perhaps one of my first medium into a early maturity level.

Today I thought back about how funny and haphazard I met people in my life. Some actually changed me as much as I change others too. I think I had a great Quality of Life for the past few years. Really thankful for a special someone. This person has a weird friendship with me, frankly, I would never be as worked out to other people's problem as his. Like sometimes, I would feel worry, feel angry, feel on cloud nine, or even tear for him. It's weird but I think he proved the theory of "people come easily go easily" wrong.

Except perhaps as much as he hated lies, I think I lie alot to him, like at times I lied about certain situation so he wont feel too angry, and made up stories for him to feel not too bad, etc, even his concession I actually managed to bluff him that it cost 5, like what the hell which concession cost 5 bucks! haha! Logic would easily expose that, but guess his trust to me was so great it didnt cross his mind to doubt. And there was times I secretly put dollar coins or small notes in his coin drawers he never noticed them haha!!

Well, its past midnight, guess the world did not end, how boring......

Well, back to reality, with much to look forward to. I really pray hard for a smooth sailing life for him the next year, due to his poor academic results, his persistence on piano and the NS thing. Seriously, I really would like to co-habitat with him in the future like Ted in How I Met Your Mother. I wish to see his growth. Oh well, these are beyond control, moreover, its gonna be his final year in that house next year. =((

Anyway, to share a really sad song, and I think the song its great to express that sadness feeling, that forceful sigh.

我難過 (I'm Sad)

那一年默默無言 只能選擇離開 
無邪的笑容已經 不再精彩 
你害怕結局所以 拼命傷害 
說是我擋住你的 美好未來 

That year, silently, we could only part our ways
The flawless smile isnt that attractive anymore
You're afraid of the ending so you tried to hurt me
Telling me I'm a hindrance for your better future

你堅決 不希望我等待 
我便默默的讓你走開 
如今你 受了傷回來 
叫我如何接受這安排 

You insisted that I should not wait
I silently let you go away
Now, you came back from hurt
How can I take this arrangements

我難過的是 放棄你 放棄愛 
放棄的夢被打碎 忍住悲哀 
我以為 是成全 
你卻說你更不愉快 

I'm sad that I gave you up, I gave up on love
Gave up dream and take the pain
I thought it was to your wish
But you said you became more unhappy

我難過的是 忘了你 忘了愛 
盡全力忘記我們 真心相愛 
也忘了告訴你 失去的不能重來 

I'm sad that I forgot about you, forgot about love
Gave my effort in forgetting our past loving memories
And I also forget to tell you that 
A bucket of water that is poured out can't be collected back again 

Wanna share some quotes from Francois de La Rochefouch, a great writer.

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires."

So true, inaction and status quo for long will cause the small determination to disappear, but it will be an irritant for people with great aspirations to change something, and they will not be happy with the inaction.

"One forgives to the degree that one loves."

Yea, its easy to forgive someone you love, especially parents, they will always forgive times and again, because of their unconditional love. There's this fitting image of a strict dad, unable to express his love language, thus after reprimanding the kid he do minor actions to mean that he still loves the kid.

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

Sometimes, that's the problem with liars, they deceive too much that they are lost in their own construction of illusion, then they live in their delusional world.

"Jealousy springs more from love of self than from love of another."

Truly agreed, jealousy is the fear of losing something, because of the insecurity one has that one has to possess the thing so tightly, it often stifle it and lose it.

"Many people are able to get along or sustain relationship because they are talking about themselves, its a challenge to do the otherwise"

This is an interesting concept I never thought of, its rather interesting because its true that you will have no problem if we are updating our lives to one another, but the challenging part is when you point out certain things in the person that should be changed. Just like parents again, seldom teens get along with parents because there is just so much expectations the parents give.

Watched Cradle to Grave Criminal Minds, so touching when the parent gave up the custody of granddaughter when they realized their daughter gave birth to a girl and was adopted by some other parent. Then, the parent thought that it is not good to give custody back to them because it will impact the girl, so they agreed to just be acknowledged, but in the end, they also realized their daughter got a boy and they were given the custody. So cool.

Then the next episode had a cool quote, "Scars reminds us of where we've been, but it wont have to dictate where we are going"

Anyway, review for Werewolf Boy was really great, the actor is superb! Really different than himself in Running Man. Just that I think it's really unfair for him at the ending. Some spoiler, he waited 47 of his life waiting for her and in the end she gave him 3 pats and left him again without a word. Seriously?

Some problems to think about tonight, and the pile of projects I gotta finish by thur, hopefully done by tmr midnight.

Companionship is a foreign concept to some people, they fear it as much as others fear isolation and loneliness.

I tend to belong to the later group. But ofcoz, as a busy guy, who is always on the go to ra-ra and have fun, I really like a simple meal with someone just talking about anything and everything.

Anyway I guess Ive been to busybody about stuffs, thinking of ways to help and etc, when all the other person might think is that I am being a  KPO.

I cant help it either, though I could use a little techniques here and there to probe and open up, but that is like trying to break an ice. As much as I want to help, I couldn’t do so when the recipient would not open up. Ofcoz then you would say its my job to help open up, but well, guess Im just too tired and lazy to do so, Im not someone who would be okay when after some counselling the client became somebody I used to know, and then close up the channel of expression.  

People are weird, and people grows, me too, but at this point in time and understanding, I think there is no greater cowardice in the world than that of people who dont voice out their opinions.

Introverts, actually I dont find any goodness in this. What is life if it is just a straight line, what is there greater than life itself? What virtual threats would drive you to suicide? So what if you are vulnerable, there will be hope. There are many people in life that really cares, and a lot of times, we fail to see these aids. When the aids come, then you will understand the importance.

What is hard about voicing out?

We all face difficult times that make us want to shelter our hearts.

When people we love hurt us, it is a natural reaction to want to shield ourselves, and put protection around our hearts, to keep pain from entering.

A shut down heart makes it impossible to open up and allow in happiness, great opportunities, and good people. However, when you open your heart, you have room for growth, forgiveness, and change. Most of all, you can let love in, again.

I think there are no greater storm out there to whatever is common to men, whatever we face, it wont be something new, then what could be so big so catastrophic, nothing unprecedented, what so big so impactful that your life could crumble because you open up a vulnerable spot to others?  

Ofcoz, I understand that with all the social pressures, one could really be driven to suicides, but seriously, Peter walked out of remorse and became a key pillar, whilst Judas committed suicide, how lowly. There are always people with worst situation.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

As we go through more problems, we stand out from the others that give in to these problems. We become a better person through every falls.

Today did nothing at home, Sabbath for me, a great break to recap whatever has happened the past few days and realised I had a long list for thanksgiving this year. Looking back at all these years, generally I have loads of people by my side, and though I often complain that some of them so many years detest doing certain stuffs with me such as ktv and so on, some afraid to be exposed to new skills, some cant seem to remember what I told them, but after all, these are the imperfections that made my life rather perfect. And I concluded that Im a very event and party person with occasion break needs to be in isolation and reflect. I think community singing sessions such as the SingFest should be held more, to bond community together with songs. The year is coming to an end, I do enjoy my life as a single, I realised how many things I could have missed to be attached, and how much money that could be spend on many more people would be spend on one person if I were to be attached. So I guess I still prefer to be the Cai Shen Ye to people around me, give them life.

Perhaps some of my regrets are not finding time to get close to certain few people, but I think, I hope I still have time to do so next year.

Lastly, communication is important, gotta know how to understand motives and usage of suitable vocab.

Sat was full of event to me.

Woke up early to plan for Running Man, and slept late to watch the episodes for ideas. We incorporated the bells hide and seek, the photo jump shot, face scissors paper stones and fill in lyrics in it. I think generally it's successful because my cell had loads of fun and most of all Fabian had fun!! He made me feel all the effort worth it, unlike one other people who claimed it was lame, boring, unwilling to participate, comment on anything and everything, cant keep mouth shut.

Then nothing much, I went to send CH home and then went to shop at Ikea before going home.

Sun was eventful too. Started of raining, but right after that, collect BBQ items, got deals from Vegetarian stall and Jiaolian Shijie was happy about the food. Then, I met Nickolas for SingFest~!!!! I had loads of fun twisting and shouting haha. Really really fun, like a party!!!

Then cabbed back BBQ, waste of money, frankly though the moment I reached had a little fun singing with guitars, but thats all ba, learn nothing from jiaolian this time =( not much chatting, just eat lorh.

Ltr that night, settled a problem, I thought it was over and good.

This morning, supposed to go for Movie with long lost friend and J, but in the end conflict solved, so I went alone with the long lost friend. That feeling... =( oh well, at least everything is fine, dont wish to see anything happen, after all the effort time and money. Again that jelly feeling.  Must control.

Movie was great, great actor for a Werewolf. So excellent, the behavior, the stare, the primal and raw energy. Then DQ, S, YQ met up with me, we had loads of laughter and fun haha thanks to YQ being the fire starter kept chaining jokes combo haha. It's been really really long since we talk craps on whatsapp, met up and chill and be crazy, and eat and have fun. I really dont mind the 100 bucks spend on them, thought I got back 50. Thankful of all these friends, these are people that treasure me, that dont mind me intruding some of their personal lives, and not afraid to voice their comments, and bother to look for me in midst of my busy schedule, and their own respective commitments, still not forgetting friends.

Edited this post because I was too tired last night that my points dont link, so I reorganized the points for the next post
Lastly, undertsanding intentions of people is really really important.

We all have needs and wants, be it if you base on Maslow Hierachy of Needs, Leisure Ladder, or William's Trio. I would like to give attention to William's Trio, the Need for Affection, Need for Inclusion, Need for Control.



Humans are after all humans, we speak a generally common language of love. Need for Love. We desire love, love from the 5 languages of love, Acts of Services, Gifts, Words of Encouragement, Intimacy and Quality Time. To make time for each other is also a language of love, but too much of it might be a little stilling.

Then, is the Need of Inclusion, though we build walls from each other, these walls marks what holds dear to us, and thus some people may overlap their walls with another person, which thus gives us a common interest or identity. Sometimes, it's good to allow people to walk into your life.

The last is Need for Control. I think generally we need to assert some form of authority to feel superiority to have a better self concept. This must be controlled if not arrogance and conflicts will arise.



Self Concept is affected by Direct Definitions, Reflected Appraisals, Attachment Styles and Identity Scripts. Direct Definitions are straightforward direct comments  whereas Reflected Appraisals is linked to Cooley's Looking Glass Theory as I mentioned 2011 sem 1. Attachment Styles have been covered in Psychology in sem 2, and of course Identity Scripts when people have stereoptypes and biased labeling due to social expectation.



Then, we have conflicts, there are a few ways to manage conflicts, Exit Voice Neglect Loyalty.

Exit has the active and deconstructive role where you just hold the argument and walk out of it without solving it. Sometimes though, we need to do this to allow the other party to have space to cool down and rationalise.

Voice is basically to voice out expectations and understanding of the situation, then misconceptions could be identified and problems could be solved constructively.

Neglect is to passively exit the problem, ignoring it. This is the worst kind to handle conflicts as the bad seed could grow. Of course, in some instances, it actually allows more understanding and acceptance that the conflict vanish,

Loyalty is the hardest to do, is to gulp and settle with differences on the intention to stay committed in the relationship. We all have to learn to do it. For example, my relative's driver constantly lied to his wife that her culinary skills are good to avoid making her upset, avoid having to cook himself after work and to compromise in the relationship.



Next, we have the Triangular of Love, its the Commitment, Passion and Intimacy. Its ideal to have all 3 for a stable consumable relationship. Commitment is found in many in later stages or in arranged marriage. But In my opinion its still alright because as long as there is commitment, they dont expect too much from each other and many times simple innovative acts could make a nice romantic atmosphere. Intimacy is the liking of a person, and Passion is of course the excitement lust and arousal.

Commitment and Intimacy results in Companionship Love, where love arises after a period of time together, as both feels comfortable with each other. This might be a reason for LGBT behaviors, because of the misconception of Love. Intimacy and Passion is

Intimacy and Passion results in Romantic Love, emotionally and physically bonded. They feel comfortable with each other but not secure for long term.

Passion and Commitment results in Fatuous Love, where marriage is decided before they are intimate, just based on the confidence that their passion and commitment will take them far.



After knowing the levels of love in each of the 3 areas, we shall see the type of lover we are.

Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once
Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity (kindred to Philia)

Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative, very practical, concern about future and marriage, these lovers would like to specify their desired traits first before trying on a relationship
Mania – obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers, they are Eros with Ludus attitude
Agape – selfless altruistic love, loving others without expectation of personal gains or returns, putting others' happiness first before them, a really rare lover nowadays, more in arranged marriage with loyal wives.

So knowing all these, many we can understand how conflicts might arise, and have better understanding of how we can keep the flames ignited.

Sources from Wiki.

12/12/12, 12:12 am, well its a cool date, while everyone else enjoying this special date, here I am in midst of exams and many planning stuffs, wonder how the day is going to turn out like, and with who? 

Gonna spam the post with FB updates recently.

"Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false naming of real events."

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

我有你放在心上 生命就有了重量
风来也不会飘荡
一起看海枯石烂 一起等地老天荒
慢慢爱 不慌不忙

so nice the imagery....... 
as if because of the spouse, the speaker's heart is "weighed"
weighed as in tied down with responsibilities
but also with stability of love
and thus the speaker would not wander by the wind
and they will see till the end of the world 

slowly, romantically.......

我有你守在身旁 眼睛就可以勇敢
看岁月怎么漫长
就算真海枯石烂 就算已地老天荒
还相爱 就没遗憾(不遗憾)

then the next imagery....
with the spouse along with the speaker
there isnt the need to fear time
as they would age together gracefully
with no regrets with love

side by side.......

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars

For your heart on me, my California king 

Wanted to wake up earlier but couldnt, so here I am waking up at 10 plus thanks to Nick consistent sms.

Just to add on to yesterday post, Ageing is not homogeneous as there are gender, race and status difference as well. For example, women tend to have older husband, cope better in death of spouse, but because they are less likely to remarry, they might have difficulty to finance themselves independently. Men after retire, would feel empty and unable to cope with the lifestyle fast, also when it comes to death of spouse, they would withdraw from social activities, unless they remarry, so are seen as less resilient emotionally. Generally speaking.

Well the next part of Contem is how society view Older Person. There are basically 2 perspective, one of it which view them as hazards and burden, the other view them as consumer and assets.

So when we look at them as Human Capital, we have to look at different groups of people. For example the business owners have to come out with products that appeals to them, that cater to their needs to enhance their Quality of Life instead of ageist product. The employers have to start accommodating elder friendly workplace concept. Workplace will then have to redesign to favour the old such as part time, flexitime and shifts options. They cannot be ageist when hiring employees, practice fair employment practices. The older employees have the experience to compensate their decrease in speed and are usually loyal despite demand for high wages but at least they are satisfied with most jobs.

The Tripartite and the Re-Employment legislation is set up in 2012 where they increase the age to draw the CFP Min Sum Draw-Down Age. Workforce Supplement is also increased for older low wage employees. Retirement age is also raised to 65 and then to 67.


There is also the ADVANTAGE! incentive scheme which helps companies recruit, retain or re-employ mature workers. Companies can also participate in PREPARE - Programme for Re-Employment Practices: A Roadmap for Employers - which provides them with guidance in implementing re-employment as an integral part of their HR system, and Flexi-Works!, which helps them hire new workers on part-time or flexible work arrangements.

At the same time, older workers themselves have to take responsibility to remain employable by staying current and having the right mindset to learn and adapt with the ever changing economic environment. In this regard, they can turn to programmes like Re-employment: Equipping And Developing Yourself (READY), which was developed by Centre For Seniors.

Re-Employment should be based on Performance not Seniority to promote productivity among senior employees.Companies should prepare their employees for re-employment by constantly updating their skill set and offer one off employment assistance payment to retired employees, and have to prepare and notice them in advance.

These are vital, because there are loads of opportunities when looking these Older Persons as consumers. For example, 100mil have been pumped into Health Programmes. 60% of the elder population put leisure as one of their priorities in life, and 74% travel at least once or twice in a year. However this is a Asian geographically concentrated phenomenon, again this explains why ageing is not homogeneous. In finance, Life Insurance sales went up by 17% to $1.125 Bil. Ageing Asia came up with a list of lucrative business for the older population, in Healthcare, Properties, Tourism, Older Women products, Insurance and Tech for the old.

As you can see, not all older persons are frail fragile and sick, but of course we must acknowledge this group of people too, thats why HealthCare spending control is important. There is a lack in limit for this. Moreover, there are inflation, and higher number of chronic & disability. As such, we can see that generally, healthcare expenses increases as people age, so as medical technology and services more expensive as society advances, not forgetting the high admin costs die to decentralized insurance.Thus there are 3 important areas to control this, which are Revenue Collection, Pooling (combine and manage revenues collectively), and Purchasing.

Sat we met early to do the cards, surprisingly YQ was early, so we did her card last min at the time span when she went to buy bbt. Well Lin love the vid and the card yk made, sacrificing her sleep. Its a great feeling where we can all eat together, except that we missed out DQ. Looking at the laughter, I really feel like a family, like for the first time, its like a huge family thanksgiving dinner, 10 ppl dining together.

These days I have that "family guy" feel again, where I start wondering how would life be with spouse and kids, how do I train up my child, how would I response to his/her actions, would my kid enjoy the moment, and then all the same thing goes over and over, like what if it turns out the other way,  what if i bring up an ungrateful kid, burden to society, etc etc.

Hmm, well I revised Contem Issues, really dont wish to disappoint my tutors, who were graceful and hopeful of me, every session I talked to them I feel as if I would burst out to tears. Is like how a child would feel so guilty of betraying their expectations. Sigh.

So throughout the Sentosa Marine Life Park trip, Ive been running the notes in my head, about how Ageing is not homogeneous, because everyone has different motivation, needs, desire, work choices and wealth. There are the Discerning, Grafting, Assisted and Dependent. 

The first is where they have financial security, probably enjoying demographic dividend, where they have lesser young dependent due to low fertility in new generation and lesser older dependent due to high mortality in older generations, thus more people in workforce comes more productivity and disposable income and spending power. Many of their needs were not met by the business sector.

The second is where they are old before they are rich, the hardworking group where they would spend on external leisure but within their means, or value for money. These are probably leisure as time, to have a break from their working life.

The third is where they are in poorer health but wealthy thus needs care products or tech innovations to have independence.

Lastly, its the poor wealth and poor health people who are dependent on people, where people stereotyped as a burden to society. They needed tech innovations to assist their Instrumental/Activities of Daily Living and improve their workplace environment for them to be integrated in.

These phenomenon however is universal, as society shift through the Demographic Transition.

Before the transition, society is balanced in a sense the population is direct proportionate to the economy. Positive checks are when famine and war disease causes more infant mortality thus increased birth rate but low wages. Preventive checks is where the depressive wages causes delay in marriage due to instability of survival and increase in prostitution and so leads to low fertility rates.

Then comes the stage 1 where Mortality decreases as society comes with better hygiene and technology advancement. Then stage 2 is where Fertility Transition, of decreasing Birth Rate due to increase women literacy and job opportunities, as well as convenience of birth control. Finally comes stage 3 of population ageing as there results in a sudden increase in dependency ratio because of rectangularization of ageing and also due to low replacement level ratio (no. children needed for a female to give birth to another female). Here, population do not stop growing unlike the population equilibrium before the transition.

Thus ageing is unprecedented, pervasive, enduring and irreversible and have profound implication on all facets of society. It would impact the Law for pension and other income security or healthcare problems, and manpower for labour and consumption.

Today ILP was the last day before the break. Time really flies, I do start to miss the Seniors (Elderly). One of them actually gave me an early xmas present, I was really really really touched. I felt that all the efforts of talking, and sharing, and buying of coffee do pay off. I had a few awesome contacts. They had a long sharing on how they keep maintaining optimism. One of them had 6 children and a spouse passed away just 2 years back, one of them complimented our passion for them and our energy, compared to the toddlers generation. Another shared about quitting a job you hate, some say to keep yourself busy, Handful volunteered in community projects for the at-risk youths, entrepreneurs, orphans, christian ministries, having peace of mind, being open minded, able to accept and understand things. Some find companions, if not go out alone, and really just doing what they like.

Young dreams
Should be dreamed together,
Young hearts 
shouldn't be afraid.

And some day when the years have flown
Darling, this will teach the young ones of our own.

Really an awesome bunch of people, change a lot of our perception of seniors, and most importantly saw the great number of opportunity in this field, to discover their extraordinarily that are in our lives, just invisible. I really hope for a Christmas party but a number of them have company retreats and other parties. Guess have to be in touch once in a while next year. I think I gotta plan a gathering every 2 months or so, to mindcafe or some attraction, to educate and take part in leisure and recreation,.

Then I met up with YQ and DQ, we went to 18 Chefs. Great food there, and have a great time chatting and walking from Simei to YQ's house haha. Im really guilty of not bringing the group together to bond, but guess Ive got no choice, and also suddenly I feel extreme let down for alot of my tutors who had high expectations and given great quantity of grace to me. I will perform!

Last Fri ILP was really successful in my opinion. There was no complains, and the elderly seemed to have a good time, especially at the exercise part. They were gleaming with joy. I really liked that atmosphere.

Then on Mon I was really sick, so I returned school only today, Thur. Just nice there was a field trip, and Ive seen sociology of work in my own eyes. When asked, the auntie did not even know the name of the product she was doing, and have to read from the cardbox.

Anyway Jay Chou released a new album! I love him, I remember spending the whole night promoting him to my parents haha, about his talents to blend tradition chinese musical instruments with R&B, and later on to Techno, Blues, Country, Bossanova, Spanish, Mexican, Mystery, and more....

《红尘客栈》 

天涯 的尽头是风沙 
红尘 的故事叫牵挂 
封刀隐没在寻常人家 东篱下 
闲云 野鹤 古刹

快马 在江湖里厮杀
无非 是名跟利放不下
心中有江山的人岂能快意潇洒
我只求与你共 华发


剑出鞘 恩怨了 谁笑
我只求今朝 拥你入 怀抱
红尘客栈风似刀 
骤雨落 宿命敲

任武林谁领风骚
我却 只为你 折腰
过荒村野桥 寻世外 古道 
远离人间尘嚣 
柳絮飘 执子之手逍遥
 
檐下 窗棂斜映枝桠 
与你 席地对座饮茶
我以工笔画 将你牢牢的记下
提笔 不为风雅

灯下 叹红颜近晚霞
我说缘份 一如参禅不说话
你泪如梨花 洒满了纸上的天下
爱恨如写意 山水画