Stealling from the blind: What would you do?

Most important moment is now, for it’s the only available moment for us to direct.

Most important person is the one with you at that moment, for it’s the only person you can influence right away.

Most important thing is to provide happiness for the person at that moment, for it’s the reason why you exist.

quoted from a buddhist story

Havent blogged since my birthday week, alright lets start off on sat....

Amazing race sucked. I had a mentality of spending the 40 bucks allowance on food, and have 200 cam whore pictures, and lots of weird crazy funtatastic moments and stunts, yet all i had was rush here and there, mis-communications, and dont feel like a team at all since my opinions are not being processed, not even mention evaluated...

Worst, I felt so strongly to help an old lady push her bike, mounted with mountain load of cardboard, yet the back tire had punctured. Sigh, bunch of shit, should have helped, we are on a Singapore Challenge to display our singapore-ness, so are we implying that singaporeans are so goal-oriented that they dont even stop to help and show their kindness? Meaningless, Meaningless...

Cant blame anyone, even researched proved that even a great pastor might not stop to help a frail man on the steps of his church if he is rushing for his lecture.

Anyway, after such a long day, I went for Harry Potter since Jane's brother Rohn, refused to go, and I dont feel like wasting such a valuable ticket cuz i missed 2 chances already.... ohm the seat was brilliant, right in the middle of the middle row, Jane's Mum was awesome~!! haha =D

Oh I went to darryl's house to stay over, oh gosh~ climbed 11 storeys because something wrong with his lift bell, and my hp was out of batt alr.......

Yea my birthday~!!! had 17 different dishes of food~!! plus a surprise party by Sheng hui and Tai~!!!!!! Had a really fun time, even on our 17 dishes journey, we did lots of stupid stuffs like walking in alternatives, then cross over when we hear an incoming bicycle =D haha, or pointed at a random point to attract KPO citizens... haha~!! Thank especially to Zhigao, who came my house first at 2pm, and left last at 11pm or so~ and bought a cake for my family to celebrate with me =D best buddy~! since p1~! understands me most, and cared most~

Oh yea~ as for the week, will leave it on the next update, as for today, it started of moody and lousy, just as the rain came poring down, when im wearing the cloth wushu shoes!, but yea it ended well, 雨过晴天, like the clear sky after the rain, in the surface as well as symbolically because someone I know had a personality change, like the previous one long time ago, she got more cheerful and open minded about the world, and escaped from being sucked into the abyss of self-pity and self-mock for various dumb decisions that couldnt have the courage to restrain at first. Then, went to the SanDa workshop and had a great chat on my way back home with the pasir ris guys~

Midnight clock strikes, im not gonna write poetry dont worry haha. Well, its 15th today, 2 days more, Im predicting a usual one, not significant, not grand, nor even satisfied i guess. Lots of timing clashes, lots of problems. Im really gladful though, that sx cancelled wushu, but i really dont know how it would turn out, i want it joyous, i want it memorable, frankly I was thinking about this idea of birthday celebration, i was talking with Johann, when it dawned on me that I dont even remember how I celebrated last year's with them. Suddenly, I really think its pointless celebrating with them, no distinction between it and usual. I rmbed harry potter and soul garden though, thats where I saw how randy sacrificed by sitting at front of cinema (uncomfortable seat) for me. I was touched. On the other hand, I felt exploited, I felt that my birthdays are like where they come to 'ying chou' (put up show), and have a great feast, thats merely all. Where I actually bought sculptures, even if its small ones like doraemon and garfield, and a 20 bucks cake the year before, bbq party?? Whats for mine? The most memorable, ktv, mine cum nicole's party. My gift, 10 ppl sharing a 10 dollar gift, though it was most memorable of their gifts. I felt so sad, so pathetic, so... fucked. My parents were asking me of these years, "for so many things u did for them, planning, buying, making poems, do you receive good repays?" They're practical I know, they dont believe in birthday celebrations for they seldom have in olden days, but its true, and I had been so dumb to kept lying to myself, to comfort myself, to safe face, by making up stories of how grand was my party... perhaps Im expecting too much, but I really doubt so, not even 10 bucks of transport fee, cant even turn up for a food tour, that i most yearn for? FUCK! Though again this might yet be another misunderstanding, but I truly feel terrible now, fucking terrible. In comparison, church people are nicer, they celebrate my achievements, they celebrate my milestones, they celebrate wholeheartedly, they... are rather awesome. To think back the years, of my belief and stands, sigh.... an invisible drop of tear pierced the silence of the night, and had shrouded the moonlight, mocked on my life.......

Oh well, appreciate what I still have, go for what I really enjoy...
No point further deceiving myself, Im better off in church, in ~

On the solid rock I stand~
All other ground is sinking sand~
all other ground is sinking sand~

and... I could sing of Your love forever~

http://leekottner.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/03/shermans_lagoon.gif

Super cute cartoon~!! haha =D its been a week since I blogged, omg getting busy =D Last wed skipped lecture for scc, like what im gonna do tomorrow too, just that tomorrow theres gonna be Eliz =D Fri I went down SCC too, Sat as usual, until there came an unexpected news~!! Linnet's got a bf... woohooo~ haha feel rather happy for her, finally got into a relationship hehe. They threw me a surprise birthday party, really surprising because I barged into the dark room unaware of their presence =p Appreciated it much, hope that the real one coming up meets my expectation... Though i totally have doubt now.

I mean like, going through so many years with each other, they have all seen all the joyous occasions, what's there left for them to be really delighted and happy and crazy about? this happens annually, nothing really big. On the other hand, Samantha's joy for my achievement was so real, so sincere, so jovial, I'd never seen anyone else happier than them. And linnet, YJ, they were happy for me, being at their age, they showed more 'celebration' that those I have been around with closely for 5 years...

What's worst? I see some people with that discerning glare, be it jealous or whatsoever with my surprising results, claiming how hardworking I must have been. Though on the positive side i motivate them to study, but must they at once treat me so? No congratulations or whatsoever? Guess 3 idiots are right, when ur friend do well, you'll feel worst.

Back to topic, them? They nice simply utter 'nice', 'well done' and perhaps accompanied by some laughter, sigh... seriously, what i wanted was to shout on top of our lungs and go woohoo, perhaps take out our tops and swing it like as if we scored a goal in soccer or something. Guess all I could do it to tip my hat like an albatross in golf... Speechless, though it was such an amazing moment, I simply felt not enough, perhaps this is why my appetite gone up and my food expenditure doubled?? I tried to treat myself with food....

Hmm, oh well, shall not let Cooley affect me... hmmph! Que sera sera....

Hmm, though with all the break ups and conflicts, though bgr in these ages probably wont last, I would want to have a process on that, someone that is not too clingy, share same interests, simply life would do =D even if incompatible at least have some memories on that? Rare, hard, impossible... haha

Oh yea baby first in Gerontology, 36/40, highest score for my worst subj?? seriously, at least for socio I read the textbook, 32.5?? Then POM all I did was listening attentively in tutorials and borrowed Jane's notes at the last 10mins before exams, 33... geron, I only touched the book after the exams to search for definition of dementia lol, 36??? Awesomely awesome, marketing fund would be the second I guess, I marked the pages Jordan asked me to mark haha, so its less study done than socio but more than POM =D

No one in the right mind would believe I didnt study for these exams, reading textbook is not considered studying, cuz its simply reading. The only thing i could say is that when we sacrifice ourselves for the promises we made to help others, we would have our rewards, dont know about Jane and Delia, hope they did well, they are the only ones who didnt leave me alone for the 10,000 dumpling event the 2 days before the exams, they are the only ones I admire to some extend in my class.

So now that I see my 'paycheck' has came, I'm really grateful for all the works im involved in, all the efforts and commitments and the extra miles ive driven for others. This would be an approval from the heaven that I cold put others before myself, that I could still survive through works like these. This is an appreciation of all the KPO-ing I've done, poking my nose into anything and everything, trying my best to make the world a better place for them and ofcoz myself. This is a prove that I'll still live happily and rather well off, that I dont have to keep focusing on my supposed role as a student, I can enjoy sightseeing too, that I do not need a full cup of water whole compromising the opportunities to see the world around me (reference to a story ive shared many posts ago.)

Compared to the other classes, my results are insignificant, their highest was 39s.... What's my marks compared to theirs? Mere borderline. But oh well, this only disheartened me. Yes it was a long time since I top a class for a subject, not to mention 3 or 4 now, however how could my class, with that much vibrancy and bonds, lose that badly in the race of education? What cards priority? Bullshit! I'll make sure they would have one day where we gather to study, pure study. I'm not concerned about high marks, at least have a 100% pass rate for subjects that common sense and experience in real world

Getting first in class in Sociology, first in class in Principles of Management, Top few in class for Public Speaking.... seems like this week is all time high on luck~! Especially on POM, cuz frankly I did not study much, not as much as Sociology, which is apparently the only one I really studied. Thus, hmm, the last 2 modules I might screw up, oh well, prepared for the worst. Well whatever the future, would like to thank whoever up there for these scores. Moving on, SCC was peaceful on sat, as well as pop excel, not much stresses, oh and so is wushu today. Im starting on BaGuaZhang now, not as easy as it seems, interesting though =D Chinese culture never fails to amaze me. Also, breakthrough in FB poker, attaining highest chip level of 1m, having long conversation with Auntie Imm and Auntie Rita, having good news that Eliz will return next week and the following week. Great week =D

Heard lots of internal wars within a culture, really widens my horizon of the culture. Though with same roots and sources, one can twist facts and play with it such that it would quaver the faith of its followers, sad case, sad case. The power struggle is subtle and innocent, thought one party had lost, its influence is so great that many 'renowned' and 'reverent' leaders were affected too. However despite all these, they seemed to still co-exist in the same community, just because one party believed that those differences in interpretations, they are all under one, under the same family.

This is not uncommon, in fact its how society works. This, along with messages brought across by Xmen series and such, is a right time to be exposed to me, such that I could relate it immediately with what I have just learned in Sociology - culture. There will be different cultures in any society, and there will be a dominant culture that set the norms and etc, and there will be the counter culture that disapproves the former, as such eventually when the counter culture gain in power and become the dominant one, there will still be splits due to ideological differences, and the end of alliance due to achieving their common goal. This cycle will never end, so as JieCe ZJ questioned: Will you choose to have 1 war after another (revolution) or enjoy yourself in the evolution?

My answer would be, well yea depends on where am I at and who am I =D As someone who loves challenges, I would most probably join in =D

X Men : First Class
SPOILER ALERT: PROCEED ON YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Lots of sociology theories inside, on minority and dominant group issues.

Professor Charles Xavier: We have it in us to be the better men.
Erik Lehnsherr: We already are.

This converstaion tells us that in Magneto's point of view, the mutants are the dominant group, though they might not triumph in numbers. However X still thinks that the norms belongs to the humans, that they should be in conformity with them, a believe of peaceful co-existence.

Professor Charles Xavier: Erik, you said yourself - we're the better men. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships, good, honest, innocent men. They're just following orders!
Erik Lehnsherr: I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... never again!

Here should be where the Milgram experiment steps in, where people simply obeys the orders of the higher authority, having complete obedience and discarded their own opinions just because all responsibilities would be held by that higher authorization. However, after going through years of discrimination and being slaved, Magneto refused to stay under humans, and sort of become a deviant.

Professor Charles Xavier: You know, I believe the true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity.

Nice verse from X, but after years of being tortured by life, I doubt anyone can really forgive and forget....

Thus in conclusion, if I were to be a mutant, I would join Magneto. Humans frankly are dumb creatures that reject anything out-of-ordinary of their norms. And the cruelty of humans are so extreme, implementing their supremacy through oppression. The higher, the more power they have, the lesser empathy they have, the more evil they become. Thus Magneto is a great leader with great heart to empower mutants to have their free wills and not be under condemnation and discrimination of humankind. As I wouldnt want anyone to accept 'us' out of fear, I rather kill them all, maybe just leave the kids, kids as in babies, those without much memory, to prevent them from rebellion or grudges that we would have killed their parents...