It's really pitiful that family is sometimes the catalyst in the reaction between unfortunate day and moody state of mind. Today is inauspicious, to add on from my previous post, I did not bring the phy notes which I had completed simply because on sun night I took it out, thinking that she had not gone through it for such long time maybe she treated it as self study or she had gone through it. Then it's the spa thing which I had no slightest clue what on earth is the experiment. Then the 2 dogs of bds appeared in the same lift as us, i swear if yimei was not there i would have punched them right in their face and spare them only when a few teeths are gone. they just couldnt know when to stop barking, sometimes i really wonder what do insulting people wiill benefit them. Last but not least, after a whole ill-fate day, mum nag me coz ms toh the pphy teacher called my parents regarding the previous homework case. i replied nicely twice, for some reason they just want me to break my patient and charge my rage bar to full. she my mistake. its really not my day, gonna skip my fruits and jump right to bed.

Dammit, today sucks, yea I know it's only 5 and today just sucked. Couldnt sleep until 3, kept rolling across the bed and going to toilet, the last time (5th) I went was 3.10am. Then Woke up just now at 5, sore throat, severe one, that I felt pain at the windpipe once i breathe. So I had only 2 hours of sleep and it's gonna be a long day today with almost all subjects tearing me apart.

Read about the PR policy changes, just some feedback:

I think the new changes definitely made PRs feel more insecure as we would start doubting what changes are there in future. We PRs do pay taxes and do NS too, we are somehow like semi-citizen, that explains the term Permanent Residents not Provisional Residents. Our reason to not convert into citizens is mainly because of the restrictions of dual citizenship. Although you could say Sg had raised us mainly, but it is still rather hard to just expatriate, after all it's our birth place, like a mother-child thing. We might still have relatives and properties there, that we felt too troublesome or not fit to be brought over Sg for its well known spaces available. Therefore I think by widening the gap for PR and citizen I would have to think twice whether to anchor my boat here or else where if somehow there's a better place. No doubt its benefits are pretty attractive, but because of these changes, possibility of PR being treated as same level as foreigners would remain ambiguous.

so tired... tomorrow might not turn up for wushu, got 2 tuitions after that...

Been dead for quite some time, not really feeling well, a little sick i guess. This year definitely not a good year for health. Lol yesterday a counceller came in, he gave a survey on stress, i think i would have more than 50% or them ticked, but i faked them ofcoz, i dont wanna be bothered with some random guy and teaching me to handle stress when im not stressed.

Looking back on changes of humans, really amused me. Humans are so unpredictable. Friends could just fall out into enemies just like that, normally due to a common lover. And I really hated to see a playperson ditching their 'partners' and messed up their lives. It was like walking in and leaving like nobody's business. Old songs really have their meanings: I will survive.

That reminds me of a statement rather inflicting quite a significant depth of cut on my heart. On not in, it was healed already since it was just some kind of skin surface wound. Someone said Im worst than someone I feel far worst than me. Well, in my pov he is, but not to eyes of others, i should accept that, though i have ample evidence to proof the false accusation. Sometimes it was just better to retreat.

Speaking of humanity. I was shock-stricken when I see Joseph being ignored by his brother. Joseph is the guy who was rather timid to even talk, and by this incident i am rather sure that his family plays a huge part of his timid behavior.

His brother is really handsome, yet beauty had it's balance and cost. His outer beauty had confiscated his inner beauty. He left Joseph behind when Joseph could not open his umbrella, he stared at him in a rather irritated manner and then leave him in the lurch. The distance at least a couple of hundred metres, he was on the other side of the path while Joseph was at this. Maybe it was the rain that had made me possess a preconceived notion where he was in a sorry plight. He stood there struggling to open his umbrella in the rain, with such submissive expression like as if his brother is right by doing so. His eyes showed subtle signs of fear of being left behind by someone close to him - nervousness. It was hard to describe fully in words, it was hard even for a movie to capture that scene.

However I hated Mario last time, I still have an affection and care towards his well being. I still have a faint memory of that dire situation where he went missing searching for me. I bet he must have felt that he was left out, sometimes feel like saying sorry to him, though it was not entirely my fault coz I asked my friend to help take care while I go nearly stadium for badminton training. Thus I could imagine how lu xun (famous author that wrote feng zheng) was feeling when you tried to apologies for a statement of forgiveness yet it was long forgotten by the other party. Sorry seems to be the hardest word as said. Anyway my point, at least there's a sense of responsibility and a little care for someone related to you. Yet that jerk, that beast, that inhuman, that whatever you could think of, ah, ccb, knn, fi, mf.... sigh, he is totally unsuitable to be called brother.

I had always been bewildered by his fear to open his mouth, now I'm glad I could safely say that a huge factor is from his family.

Hmm, because of that incident I could conclude that literally I am thick-skined. I rushed to open my umbrella for Joseph therefore cut my finger, yet when I bathe then I realised it was a slight cut though my skin had been peeled off. So my flesh was not cut deeply haha.

Speaking of that, i left my umbrella on the bus, then i saw the driver using it to shelter his way to the station, made me further reassured myself that my actions do make an impact on others.

holiday is almost over, implying i had wasted a week of my time on earth again...

didnt do much in the holiday, especially the homework part, and nonetheless any much deeds. sigh sat was a tiring day, went tuition at 10 to 12, then ate at badok coz it rained therefore decided no need to go simalu, went church tuition after that at 1.30. Stayed awhile for the cell group, really glad to have fun and sing to my hearts delight. Left at 5 to meet wx and weide to visit jinee, omg her baby gurl sooooo cute larh. played few rounds of mahjong and had dinner, and the day ended.

struggled for 10mins on the bed today hesitating whether to go wushu or not since sx not around, dragged myself there in the end in case weisiang turn up. jiaolian was there, did some half-mabu, then the worst thing for me - high knee. that's all, then taught the 3 newcomer wu bu gong, i really think that zi xiang is super smart, just that he used it wrongly i guess. his brother on the other hand was rather slow, but oh well, diff ppl diff pace.

slept at tai house to replenish some energy for tuition, though it was cancelled in the end. played a little war-kings and yea basically did nothing. It always ended up in a waste in tai house, like some kind of force draining myself from doing anything in his house. Wanted to try on acapella in the end got carried away, sigh... should have left earlier, at least can go home do something... anything at all...

oh sin5 gave each of us a personal note, well, he said what matters is not what have i done but WHEN i done it. at least is what i interpreted it, he also signed of with 'look forward', to me rather random. anyway thanks.

sigh, i think i had been idling for too much, been 坐在这边看天空. kept feeling an emptiness in my life, like i had missing out something... definitely got gurl but something i myself do not know, like some kind of purpose... maybe form tmr i should start do my tys which had been feeding the dust for a bit too long, or any other random work ba. lets try a year being super anti-social for o levels.

Today was fun, I feel like a sinister mastermind behind a serial murder. Was rather pissed with albs cuz he I had to cover him for his irresponsible actions. Monday was suppose to be a deadline of a grouped essay, yet jaz send me the girls' part only at 9pm, therefore i only checked at 8am on tue. Then, just as I thought I played my part, Albs claimed that he had did 3 paragraphs, 2 which I had did yet the initial discussions were that he do the last few instead. He claimed to have send me his 3 wrong paragraphs in the morning, which I later found out he send only at 2pm! wtf! He even had mrs mah backing him by wanting me to help cover him for 1 of his 2 paragraphs. I said meet at 6pm on msn to send me over his part and I'll send him back right after I edit them. Yet at 6pm, he was not on, and at few minutes before 8 I sign off to eat my dinner. Tai told me that he online only at 8+. Then on the phone with tai, we 'complained' to jazreel and created tension between them. jaz was rather epic in her conversations, haha we had great laughs, oh, we were laughing at our classmates answers too, just for fun as not to mock them. He is hopeless man, yet somehow 'law' is always in his side. Sometimes I wonder why, like such a plain boring essay with no flow could get a mark higher than a brilliant story with vivid descriptions and full of suspense.... sigh, life's unfair, bo bian.

Anyway was listening to backstreet boy's songs, found that this line in shape of my heart is rather cool: You can save me from the man that I've become. Yea, maybe there is always a need for someone before a lycanthrope happens. Sometimes there is really a need of someone to hear out, even if it is a silent listener like a blog, to vent all angers and frustrations. Therefore I am always against the idea of being sued for something offensive written in a blog. After all a blog is just a advanced form of diary which is to keep archives or to record some thoughts. Maybe we could see pov of things from these blogs, or to learn from their foolish behavior and such, but not to the point to sue them for expressing their views.

Oh, about the jack neo scandal, really, it gets annoying to stir up such trivial matters, lets say he was just an ordinary nobody in your block, would you even care? I think we should not care of what they do in their private life, we should only look at the contribution they gave for us - his entertainment value in his movies. Furthermore, that helps singapore getting babies too.. haha...

Well, glad that mum had passed her exam with flying colours! she went for an english exam after learning english for a couple of years, she ace her exam, thats so great, gotten the highest level of class for further improvement. sometimes passion is what it takes, she is very hardworking, checking dictionary and trying to pronounced a new word as accurate as she can. If only I were that driven. She had a long way to go, but she is super, one of the best among her peers, so glad to have such mother!

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/329528/people_have_too_much_free_time_to_take_part.html#commentSection

I think these flash mobs are the ones who spices up singapore mundane life, especially for kids who couldnt go to pubs and with limited cash on hand. In a way these promoted arts too for these are dances just like other ballroom dances. It's not that hey are too free, they're too bored or streesed with their livestyle, so flash mob is something to paint some colours to their lives, it even involves teamspirit in it!

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/what_bugs_me/327714/girl_brags_about_leaving_restaurant_without_paying.html#commentSection

STOMPers have no life I agree, to blog hop on blogs that was suppose to be personal diaries to users. Thus I would not touch on these immoral acts and stuffs, hopeful they would realize their foolish behavior and compensate the restaurant for giving them a new experience. Its rather okay for the experience of it but please fix it up after the moment of bliss or accomplishment or whatever they felt after doing so. Anyway what I wanna touch on is the waiter that said 'have a nice day' after the chaos they had caused. This pleases me as I can see services in singapore had improved. I can still remember long time ago there was this aurora of hatred and irritant in sim lim where a question more would offend them somehow and they would be pissed. This jan im glad that these had dissipated to only few areas but generally the staffs are kind and helpful to tend to all my inquiries.

Last is ofcoz the Rony Tan mocks of other religion. These evangelical pastors made me think twice of christianity. True enough I have heard of christians believing that their god is alive and not staues. These angers me really, just like how the argued the necessity of temples if god could be anywhere. The statues doesnt substitute their gods, but a symbol of god, for them to worship with a clear picture of the reverence they are praying to. And any scientist could also rebut that air is anywhere yet we needed fan to feel it. I rather pity them for harboring hypocrisy in such wonderful religion. It is one of the biggest religion that has a bible to reach out to all ages, and comprehensible stories and guides to being a human. The worst is, he got away in all punishments just with a statement of apology, which triggers questions like 'how is he different than other offenders?'. Others would serve jail terms and such, why not him?

The term 'religion', in my point of view, had faded of its original purpose. Why dont sg has a subject call 'religion' like how indo have it as 'agama'. And this is regarded as a vital subject to pass. No matter what you believe in, religion helps to keep people to act humanly. Though when that happens, freethinkers like myself wouldnt be thinking this way now:

wouldnt think that the world is just simply balanced, with certain number of good and bad, life and death, pretty and ugly, it reflects tao, just as a medium once said, 'tao' is the true religion. something like that not very sure. It all makes sense to me, so there is a fix infrastructure to our life, just that the details could be altered and the 'elimination round' could be eased by good deeds. Just like taiji tuishou, after exerting force to certain extend, you should start to hear the opponent's moves, them when pressure is too much, know how to reflect it away and turn the table around. The way to do that is obviously optimism.

Again after so much posts... whats my purpose here on earth? maybe its better that i know it first so i could prepare for it, to not disappoint anyone or regret being too weak to help. at least then i know what exactly to do and to not fear and think so much.

Today cleaned the storeroom again, second time, omg looking at how the white cloth metamorphosed into a grey cloth really made me guilty about it. Each wipe with it meant a gash on my conscience, though there's a momentary sense of achievement to clean the object, but generally this farrago of feeling is an unbearable cocktail which I had swallow. Anyway that was foreshadowing the skies today, that it drenched me to my tuition class. Before that was killing time at the library reading a book or filial piety. Great verse I found:

树欲静而风不止，子欲孝而亲不待

Time waits for no man, not only for work, for trip, for success, but for him to repay a huge debt that is supposed to be easy to clear. "I will work hard for my parents to travel around the world, to have big house and big car and big wealth!" but when that time comes, will they still need them? Will they still want them?

Parents take their children successes and failures personally as they live vicariously through children, therefore a second mistake we made is a big issue to them since they had gone through the walks of life, even if it might be a brand new experience to us. After all, they had lived to see us surpass them in all aspects.

Yet when they had completed their mission, their only wish is companion of their children although they often had a ready mindset of not getting back their well deserved compensation. So as children of the epitome of goddess, could we just surrender to filial piety when we still have the time to tend to the magnanimous parents?

A few stories are especially explicit in bringing out the warmth of home.

First is the chinese new year message advertisement where a bunch of aunties were bragging about their successful children (in overseas to pursuit their carreer) while playing mahjong, only one of them didnt utter a word. In the end a car drove by and found out to be the family of that auntie, and the short clip ended with a silent mahjong table as a sense of emptiness had oozed out from their hearts - a hole too big to be covered with tangible possessions.

Then is the song 'fragrant rice' (dao xiang) by jay chou. The song is filled with a rustic atmosphere and the sound of nature pulled us back to the 'home sweet home' times. I personally feel that the verse '童年的纸飞机现在终於飞回我手里' is so beautiful. Paper planes are often suggesting dreams of a young kid, and these planes are thrust into the air, and would swirl with grace, danced and glided, before it is pulled down by the earthly laws. This is also reinforced in the phrase '追蜻蜓追到累了' as reference to 'Red Dragonfly' (hong qing ting), a song speaking of childhood. Ofcoz, my favourite verse is '珍惜一切就算没有拥有'. I had explained this lone time ago, basically treasure variety and diversity, as well as quality because the bad will bring out the good, just like you can make a line seemed longer without touching it by drawing a shorter one beside.

Last is ofcoz Devoted Son by Anita Desai, the protagonist was a too-good-to-be-true man where he had heed his parents words rigidly to the point that although he was a successful doctor in a prestigious hospital in US because he won scholarship for topping the nation, he seemed to be comfortable going back to his own town and tradition. Yet his parents were now nothing but burden to him, and conflict arouse as the father is suffocated by his son. His diet was all monitored and was treated like a patient instead of a father. I really sympathize with the father, this shows that a glamorous showcased being put up too long will cease to dazzle, eventually backfires, and that nothing in the world is perfect. So for parents, have some leeway for kids larh. It's good enough to have a harmonious home that broken bonds. 家和万事兴。

Well in a nutshell, humans do change, and humans arent perfect, so the 'burden' you would most willing to carry is ofcoz family, right? 家是我最甘心的负担

So being the parent also abit more understanding larh, speaking of this i remember a beautiful carved situation in anita desai's pineapple cake. The protagonist was trying to hold his mother's hand, yet was shocked to find that she had worn a glove, therefore he couldnt feel the flesh since separated by that thin layer of cloth. Worst thing is that the mother did not understand him and though he wanted to pee.

After such a long post, actually frankly i think my family is not harmonious and happy, yet family is like utensils and plate, they bound to clash when you're eating, cling, clang, phiang. So appreciate what I have as there are others who do not have such privilege.

PTM was not as bad though with 3 fails. The more I feel the urge to do well for chinese, not for me, but for tanbb, and parents ofcoz, and probably mr koh too. They are nice teachers, much like mrs lee of pri 3. Especially tanbb, to express concern for her students despite having to tend to her own form class. Maybe we had disappointed her a bit too much, to the point that she felt as if we had collapsed under her hands, which obviously not true. Her open-heart and graciousness that gained most of my sympathy, therefore I'll definitely achieve something for her.

Yet bo bian too, need slowly, i am now like a bottle of ice, that had substance yet frozen. Therefore need to slowly add more water to transfer energy for the ice to melt and merge with the water poured in. Therefore ofcoz it is not possible to fill the 50ml cup with 50ml of water in a go, the ice takes time to melt.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1042960/1/.html


SMRT adds 150 extra train trips from March 22

Wootz~! love this, yea I often felt that during peak hours there are simply too little trains to put up with the horde of kiasu passengers. Thus i often see people desperate to get into a train no matter how packed it was, and ofcoz it applies to buses too. I am one of the guilty one because the next one is really too long. Therefore I was glad to chance upon this news. Yet I believe can improve further, to decrease intervals to around 2-3 mins. Even Indo had a 2 min interval busway. Yet because Singapore had not so much people, I think she still have long way to go. I'll be looking forward to see the MRT covered Singapore, where people will be willing to take public transports. Then the roads would be mostly for motorcycles and public buses, so there could be a lane specially for bikes...

The Invisible Killer

BAN DUHYDROGEN MONOXIDE

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted
thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental
inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of it do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage.
Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and
possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance.
For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

  - is the major component of acid rain.
  -contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
  -may cause severe burns.
  -contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  -accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  -may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
  -has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream,
lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global,
and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has
caused millions of dollars of property damage in the US.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

  -as an industrial solvent and coolant.
  -in nuclear power plants.
  -in the production of styrofoam.
  --as a fire retardant.
  -in many forms of cruel animal research.
  -in the distribution of pesticides.
-Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
  -as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done
to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is
extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Above was a prize winning project by a student at Eagle Rock Junior High at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. In his project, he urged people to sigh the petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical.

His results out of 50:

43 signed
6 unsure
only 1 knew that it was water...

This project showed how gullible are people. Why are we go gullible the, that we are so quick to swalloe half-truths, false premises, and outlandish claims? Why are we so credulous, so easily deceived?

One reason is modern man's loss of religious faith. This creates a vaccuum ready to suck in whatever we are exposed to. The worst is, when man losses his religious belief, he sucks in any random beliefs as he is willing to sacrifice the truth whenever it makes him feel uncomfortable since he couldnt face the truth.

Therefore instead of climbing mountains of wisdom, when we're gullible, we trip over half-truths, falsehoods, and deceptions, therefore stunting our intellectual growth. Thus we had to avoid falling into the trap by accepting things rather than what we wished things will be.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Fact.
Go away, I'm busy looking for truth.

*adapted from wiki, www, and jiang education centre.*

nothing much, the only sense of achievement i had was when i solved an emaths question that quite alot classmates couldnt. haha lame. anyway browsed through my archives, found lots of memorable events, just as jinnee mcd prank, and how KT was so kind to allow me walk out of class when she want whole class stay back. haha, see, its proven that nags make me frustrated, thats a reason why i kindda buay tahan ms soon nagging too. bo bian, they mean good, but i just hate naggings.

I found myself so funny last time, rather amazed of my thinking when im young. But my world used to be so vibrant, so much laughter, so much songs. Partly is ofcoz the bubble tea period, kindda miss the auntie, totally lost contact now. Last time there was still freedom of singing, unlike now lol, as if its a crime. Sigh, for now, im better off alone since it hurts so much to be heard.

Anyway was honoured to go to ______ house today, since somehow ______ had never let anyone stepped into his house. Knew more about _____ family. Was surprised actually, my impression had proven a distant from truth. But not as bad as another guy that his father was a gambler. Not very sure how is situation now. At least now I knew more of the people around me, these interest me, to KPO their lives, so I could see life in many different perspective, hopefully could help out someday. Sigh, still disappointed that i failed my best subject.. maths... frankly prefer yip, coz he gave difficult homework so i must copy others, and whenn i copy, i understand, i learn. Now all do my own, learn nothing much. Must depend on own motivation now, maybe after march ba....

totally not a good day these few days. the only thing worthy to feel happy is i got 11/12 for a seq that i screwed up the exact terms. so total got 17/25, furthermore CA marks will count ONLY this test. wootz my lit isnt as expected because the 2nd question pulled me down a lot, 10/25, whereas first question got 15/25. Sad, but oh well i did well for humans at least, im glad. will focus on chi and maths after march.

pissed by the first sentence ms soon said to me 'you sing!', what the fuck i swear i had stopped singing out loud and continuously in class, i had slowly disassociated with the class yet im pulled out as one of the handful of 'trouble-maker', seriously pissed, no matter how trivia is the matter, whoever knew me should know that i had quarreled and pointed middle finger at teachers for accusing me of wrong reasons even though they are good teachers. though understands and pity them, i still give priority for fairness in the top of the list. anyway she was lecturing about leaders in class must help chairman to discipline the class. lol totally not for me, i had gave up ever since 1D said i did NOTHING when i actually did alot for the class. So from then on i had decided to push 'responsibility as a leader' all the way to bottom of the list. and ofcoz randy had to add salt more to say we're noisy, knn...

yesterday too, so pissed with albs when i tried to help in his compo and he got distracted just after a SECOND !!! he would look away and engage in all sorts of thing then didnt catch a single word i said,  hopeless being lol

sigh, still the same question, what in the fucking problem of singing?! one of these days i must go ktv again to vent my anger, probably swimming pool too in search of the absolute peace venue. seriously larh, i felt my heart gonna force its way out of its position, to bend and crush my ribcage, tear open my skin, and scream its blood out, and then dehydrate until motionless, no more pump, no more live, no more me.... something like the pink floyde the wall cover above this post... 

the worst and most unbearable part is... not a single teardrop could flow out....

Reedited a really old work:

The splendid sunset will soon be gone,
As I listened to the smooth tone alone,
I shouted, “Goodbye sun, see you tomorrow!”
I shouted it with sigh and sorrow,

The breeze is blowing cold and slowly,
So I watched the sky evolving closely,

There are elks by the lake,
It was very cold but they seemed to not shake,
When I returned to see the sky, it was already dark,
Oh, no! it was pitch dark that I couldn’t see the ark,
So then I went back in the foothills of the land,
Still, I could see everything, yes, I can,
All except what is in plan.
 
Life is sorrow, life is pain,
Some say heaven is waiting at the end,
Yet where and what is heaven?  
I no longer yearn to know,
‘Cause there might just be layers of cold winter snow......

Some comments I came by in facebook.

"I use to say as we grow older, we learn to avert falls and fall down much lesser. However, we'll hurt more each time when we fall and take a lot more effort to pick ourselves up. Does anyone have that type of feeling that you're falling although you have not fall, and it seems impossible to pick yourself up because you've not fall in the first place?"

Yea, absolutely true, this is because society had taught us form young to not to fall and just blindly follow rules. Therefore we are so afraid to fall, be it in terms of physical, academically or life case.

想到这里,胸口涌上一股暖流,泪水不尽意的往下流了一滴. 是我对自己的生命决得不满,或是对好友的思念,或是感慨的心情已不能跟这位好友倾诉,我也分不清. 可能全都有吧.

This description is brilliant. Form this sentence alone we could infer that the speaker had flashback a series of sorrowful event that had made him regret. Yet his confusion of the root of his teardrops explicitly suggests that he had went through so much pain that he was not sure of the pain anymore, that all these painful memories had flooded and numbed him.

Next, an opinion on ABSURDISM:

In absurdist philosophy, the Absurd arises out of the fundamental disharmony between the individual's search for meaning and the apparent meaninglessness of the universe. As beings looking for meaning in a meaningless world, humans have three ways of resolving the dilemma : Suicide, Religious, Acceptance.

Above is a wiki abstract. And I think I will soon fall into the acceptance category. Since I had always in conquest of finding true meaning to my life, of how can I impact another being. I had always been thinking what if I dont exist, will everything still goes on. From fate and destiny, I knew I was born for something, yet I still couldnt find a definite answer that is big enough to impact a being (hopefully to the better).

Firstly, who am I? Im just a ordinary kid that has limited knowledge and logic, so what could I offer? Im not a genius to offer my knowledge nor a rich man son that could benefit the needy. Im a level-headed man that would understand, forgive but never forget - such petty asshole that never treated any situation without the HISTORY-colored glasses. Further im a lazy pig that would be shunned off by the though of school every morning. What could I do? One thing for sure, I wont change.

Then, society had its routine all ready, just like a game, level 1-10, each representing the different stages in life. And therefore so does fate. Since fate could determine those major milestones of your life, what you could only do is to be optimistic about things, then why not tell me who could I help along my return path to emptiness or beginning of the cycle. At least I could get myself prepared for what would be coming and not absorb each and everything and then had to search my folders (compartments in my brain) for the necessary things.

Therefore I think I'll most probably find myself in the 'Acceptance of absurd' category and lead a easy-going life. As long as my parents are not neglected it should be okay, they're the ones that bo-bian had to bear with their flaws and changes - at least ones that I most willing to have problems with. Cuz as I had said, nothing last, not victory, not happiness, not memories, not physical things, not friends, nothing...

Today was cool, and jiaolian was totally random haha, last minute, or rather second, summon performers up stage to perform haha. I was unfortunately first random kia to be called lol, zero preparation at all, was so stiff and foolish haha. Anyway sin5 was super zai, perform halfway answered jiaolian question coz jiaolian forgot a type of martial art. Also that day CNY visit he went ask jiaolian to return money hahahahahahahaha.... super zai....

Waiting On The World To Change

one of my favorite songs

Howie Day- Collide- With Lyrics

Had a great walk with bryan and joel... yepp joel surprisingly cuz he wasnt feelin good... completely effortless, well, think im gonna sleep, the hot weather's suffocating me... zzz... i think i'll cancel mahjong today

Found this on net, cool eh? Haha, cross country in an hour's time... lazy to run leh, just competing for the sake of filling positions. wondering what will happen on next fri. Eng, which i had quite a confident to do well, summary got 14, loss 2 points to the word 'fear' therefore strayed away from the question. vocab got 1/5.. pathetic.. sigh, once again i've given up... lol said too many times but still... sigh... others are screwed no doubt, except lit but i got a feeling the test marks will torture me more... sigh

If I ever go to hell, I'll go with a full passport of envy.

Not the envy of fame or glory or position, but the envy for a talent, in fact, all of the talents... There is just so much other interesting stuffs than the ones I know, not that they are not interesting, just that anything interesting will be buried by the responsibility of a student and expectations of society. One can't be rigidly abide to a thing, it will only become a burden, and you will only treat is as a duty.

Some stuffs that seduced my curiosity:

Singing (obviously for years haha)
Musical Instruments
Ventriloquism
Acting
Human Psychology
Martial Arts
Culture
Languages
Painting
Animation
Cinematography

Anyway some of the most beautiful lyrics to me I'm listening this week:

"Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please" - Tears in Heaven

Very emotional and tear-jerking especially from the efficacious voice of the singer.

"It's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away" - Words

"I'm not an actor I'm not the star
And I don't even have my own car" - The Actor

Both cases stating the sincerity of a man without bribes of luxury.

"It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face." - Wind Beneath My Wings

For someone who willingly used lots of effort for you. Especially parents.

"Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"

Self explanatory

"Have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?" - Have you ever seen the rain

In my opinion implying that the speaker was crying due to some unknown reason, but by referring to the whole lyrics, it is coherent that he was coping with the ups and downs in life. He seemed to already know that, yet he was still unable to accept this phenomenon. Rather reflects a little of myself, though not much to huge extend.

"You're riding high in April,
Shot down in May" - That's life

As the title says, that's life. Anything glamorous that was showcased for too long will ceased to dazzle, what's more common stuffs, it will turn 180 in matter of days... Nothing lasts, that's what I believe...

wootz~! last day of week for studies (since fri cross country) and last day for CA !!!!!!!!!!!!! well, no big deal, too many tests will lose its respect...

To be frank, I didnt touch on anything, and the only tests I'm conident is lit and english. I think getting back english so hope it dont backfire me, and lit, I'm sure I wrote well enough =) As for sciences, phy as usual nothing much to study, for chem lets just hope for the best.

edit: http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_466165.html It seems that my mum had misheard/misinterpretted the news. The only thing is that cyclists will be fined if seen to have reckless behavior.

I heard sg had implemented or reinforced the law that bicycle must not share the pavement with pedestrian. This rather struck me hard, how can this be fair? Below are my views:

First of all, lets consider the safety issues. As many of cyclists are aunties that bike for groceries or to go to the park for their morning activities, I believe that making them cycle on the roads are extremely dangerous. Who knows what might happen to the bike that might cause hazards such as flat tire or broken brakes. Furthermore, there is always the possibility of amateurs biker that might lose control.

Next, how many cyclists are there in sg? I would say only a handful compared to vehicles. sg is already such a small country, it cant afford to have special lanes for cyclist like china, therefore allowing cyclists to share the roads, what would the pavements used for? Purely humans? Cant be, or the pavements would be useless when there are no pedestrians, especially at the afternoon where most people were busy at work.

Although some people might consider bicycle as a form of vehicle and thus had to travel on roads, bicycle are actually just a naked traveling tool. Compared to a armored cars or trucks, i believe that accident that cyclists might encounter on roads would most probably be fatal. I'm sure that small cuts and bruises are safer than fatal injuries.

Finally, by having this law, many frequent cyclist might be turned down due to its safety issues. Therefore this discourages people to use bikes, which is ironic because global warming has been a hot topic, so as carbon emission, traffic congestions and so on...Bike believe it or not, is a solution to many problem, not only these useful tools helps prolong the fate of the world, it helps people to be more active in fitness, especially for the elderly. Therefore it is extremely foolish and unreasonable to forbid cyclist to share the pavement.