So tired of life..........

Don't get me wrong, I dont have a terrible life,
In fact, I have the best of life anyone can get,
But thats all.... and maybe thats why famous people suicide.

I'm tired of being strong,
I'm tired of pressing on,
I'm tired of not being able to break free from life.

It's all about choices,
To what extent you change yourself to suit others?
To what extent you can press on but to destination unknown?
To what extent you choosing living over dead?

Adele - Chasing Pavement

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere....

You see, your life doesnt belongs to you,
You belong to parents, society, friends, and everyone else around you.
Maybe it's Generational Nihilism,
But what good would I bring to society for being a weak person?
Perhaps our problems of society now isnt physical suffering,
But an internal struggle to respond to the situations we face.
It's always an easy way out - death, maybe not me, but whoeever who angers me,
But law and order exist, and it will drag everyone around me into it,
Then why not me? Because only few accepts death as a liberation.

Being Hedonistic, why not death?
It's selfish, but it's liberation.
But, what beyond death?
This is perhaps where religion exist,
Will there be heaven? Will there be an eternal punishment? For being weak?
A fear, a uncertainty, and humans hates that, humans hate uncertainty.

And temper, I have temper, I have a terrible temper,
Not say I can't surpress it, but what good will that bring me?
I've had enough having to swallow my temper to please people,
I know countless ways of service recovery,
But I aint willing,
But it inconvenient people,
Then why should I make people inconvenient?
Too much inter-connected-ness,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all~~ Carry on..... Carry on....... 

So yea no I cant,
I cant leave them in a lurch,
I cant forgo my diving trip,
I havent fulfilled my bucket list,
I can't be knocked down as long as my parents are alive........