So, started reading a book, that seems to coincide with the problems I am facing. 

Basically, the newest problem we have is that we started to have reviews from guests who had the date of our tours mixed up and wrote a 1 star that caused me to fumed up as in the industry, such a review would mean like 50 full stars down the drain. But what was more disappointing was when I team didnt felt we were maligned but took on their defense, further reinforcing the anchoring resolution that I am after all alone in this.

Well........ anyways, as Linkin Park said.....
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

Guess I am always too passionate, always working too hard, always taking everything too personally. I guess in the end, why should I let myself be affected so much, I should go with the flow, I should learn to let it go. Let it be... Let it be... probably the wisest words ever yet most neglected by me.

At the end of the day, it is all just as what was written in the book :

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH 

One day, you and everyone you love will die. And beyond a small group of people for an extremely brief period of time, little of what you say or do will ever matter. This is the Uncomfortable Truth of life. And everything you think or do is but an elaborate avoidance of it. We are inconsequential cosmic dust, bumping and milling about on a tiny blue speck. We imagine our own importance. We invent our purpose — we are nothing. 

Understand this, understanding the root of hopelessness, and then you will start to find hope. Accepting Nihilism of "Vanity of Vanity, All is Vanity", then you start to fill the gaps with hope and reasons. I guess, I am now in the state of going into Nihilism, where to opposite of Passion is Indifferent. I guess I should prioritize impacting my immediate guests, my way. Whatever the result is, is no longer my problem. 

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty.” — Mother Theresa

Well, after all, humans, me included, would start to make sense of the meaningless life, and split into our thinking brain and feeling brain. Among these, are our concept of "Emotion" molded similar to what Newton's Law of Motion states:

1) Your Identity will stay until a new Experience acts against it
2) Our Self Worth is the sum of our emotions over time 
3) For every Action, there is an Equal and Opposite Emotional Reaction

The book then explores how people measures self worth. Mark Manson used the ideology of Nietzsche classification of society to "Masters" and "slaves". Some people have a head start in life, having ascribed status in them that eventually cause a class divide. While these "Elites" would start to develop a "Master Morality" where they feel they end up a certain way because they deserve it because they earned it through hard work or ingenuity, (in short, they are righteous and virtuous because they were strong); conversely, the "Slaves" would also develop a "Slave Morality" where they believe they have suffered the most, most disadvantaged, most exploited, thus thus they should deserve the most respect and empathy, (in short, they are righteous and virtuous because of their weakness).   

We should work towards "Amor Fati" which means “love one’s fate.” It is a resolution about your Unconditional Acceptance of our Fate and learn beyond the realm of Good and Evil.

Moving on, the book continues to paint the picture of how the world is fucked up. And yes I feel it too all the time! With everyone being selfish, putting self interest above all else, lack of empathy and understanding, sense of self entitlement, false sense of superiority, and lots of these revolves around the subject of MONEY. By Immanuel Kant’s Theory of Humanity, we should act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in any other person, always at the same time as an end, never merely as a means. Basically, Ulterior Motives. Behind every actions, it's a step you MUST do in order to achieve what you are purposed to do to achieve a certain end goal. 

I like to think that way though, it really cast aside all the distractions of emotions and social debts, and all the trivial things of life. I should learn to be a little more selfish!

But then the book transits into breaking away from such "Social Exchange Theory" or "Transactional Mindset" where we always perform an action just to achieve a desired goal. But thats how society has always been. Thus it's nice at times to catch up with friends such as Tai who shares the same frequency as me. He is able to point out certain overlooked things and challenge my thinking instead of bluntly forcing opinions, yet at the same time supports me and share the sighs. Well, if the theory applies, he may be just carefully constructing his words to utter what I selectively wants to hear and reaffirm my words because he wants to maintain our friendship. Then again, on the times we had spent and the kind of non existence conversations when we "discuss" only the keywords to our own arguments, these kind of chemistry is hard to fake! 

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen Covey

Then again, times and again I do meet outside people who do allow me to think too.

A person once commented, "The world's greatest problems are not caused by a single person but by a collective systematic flaw in society.". Wow! liked it so much! I guess, as what the book says, EVERYTHING IS FUCKED! Call me escapist if you want, I'm not gonna care, at least not anymore, from now on, it's me, myself, and I, being at the centre of the universe!

It's now a week to my 25th. 

It's a few more days to my big party.

What am I feeling?

Well, first thing first, ever since my last post....

I've squeezed into the Finalist of Singapore Tourism Award,
Truly a wonderful night.....

A testimony of persistence,
Affirmation of competence,
Display of effulgence,
Journey of excellence
Assessment of omnicompetence....
on this very day of significance.

Very humbled to be among the stars of customer service in various fields.
Made a few connections, and inspired by many stories from these amazing people.

Then I went for Diving in Bali.
I went for my Open Water Course and Advanced Open Water Course altogether.
And extended a few days for leisure.

At the pool sessions we did a few of the drills, which I thought we would never use,
eg Tired Diver Tow, Change Mask, Manual BCD Inflation.

Then first dive my mask too small every 5 mins full mask clearing.

Second dive my friend fins lost, so we Tired Diver Tow.

Third dive my mask snaps, Underwater Change Mask.

Fifth dive our friend air consumption abnormal so we did CESA.

Sixth dive my BCD auto inflate so I gotta do Manual Inflation.

By the end, I'm truly blessed that I have a very good Dive Instructor,
very earnest guy who takes care of us a lot yet after dive we are like long lost bros.
We extended our gratitude by offering to take him around nearby areas for a quick tour of scenery, and then throw a big feast.

Following that I checked off my list for a few more Michelin places,
then went to Indonesia Best Chef at Jakarta Nusa Gastronomy, Cheft Ragil.
Had a good fine dining experience with parents with detailed explanation on each course,
having the origin source, the process, the inspiration and the innovations.
We even had a kitchen tour at the end when everyone leaves! Back of house!

Then back to reality.

I guess every company will sooner or later face HR issues here and there,
And as I explained in earlier post, I'm still alone on this journey.
But I guess it's time for us to come together one more time,
To update everyone to be on a same page,
and to solve issues there and then,
an to delegate some ownerships here and there,
or to clear off weeds if there is.

At the end, its :

Price of Stability vs Price of Freedom

When the bigger things in life, housing, safety, healthcare, retirement, is taken care of, thats national stability; albeit may be loss of individuality, but compensated with niche subculture; like animals in zoo, in captivity, but with basic survival taken care of, there's allowance for appreciation of sub talents, and leisure activities..... May be delusional, l call that organised freedom ....

Sometimes, its better the abnegation for the best of national interest rather than to abrogate the need for progress and staying relevant and competitive in the world.

Same as life actually, was talking to a few students and concluded : choose the suffering you are willing to take. (reference to blog post October 15, 2018)

What every you choose, there is never an absolute smooth pathway,
It's just matter of perspective, choices, sacrifices.
There is always a way, as long as you dare to sacrifice.
(reference to blog post April 24, 2019)

Gone are the days where academic excellence its the only way to climb the ladder.
There are multiple ways in today's world.
And we moved on from labour intensive world
to a capital intensive one, to a skilled based,
to a knowledge and innovation based,
it's all about connections, opportunities, and time.

What do we really want to achieve?

In my 25 years,

I have achieved a position that provided me with
Comfortable Salary, Flexible Schedule, and Job Satisfaction

What more can I ask?

I wake up everyday to say "yes let's kick start the day",
I end everyday with "oh right today I learnt something new again",

What more can I ask?

Speaking of which,
I read into a greater deeper world of Beers,
and it's so fascinating about the origins, process and innovations of Beer,
and will be looking into getting a Certification.
The same with the realm of Tea,
It's just so amazing that all Tea comes from the same plant Camellia Sinesis,
only differs in Cultivation, Climate, and Process.
The history, the links, the catalyst, the influence, that shape the various culture.
 and thus planning on a Certification too.

Today I just did a One North : Silicon Valley of Singapore tour,
Stepped into the future of Singapore, of innovations and ideas,
From Bottom-Up Ideas Materialization and Fueling the Flames of the Future,
it's just simply amazing!

Life, is so much to learn, so much to discover,
and made colourful by each stories, each perspectives, each every-improving day.

I conclude.............

With Family, Friends, Career and Purpose..........

I have the greatest life anyone could ask for.