It had been a busy weekend, a crazy one, a lazy one, yet I would say it was all worth it. On Fri, we rushed our project through the evening, and at night I read up on Psychology, chapters on Social Influence an the various related experiments. I also read up and finished Vitamin part 1 for BNF, it was 4am when I finish them. On sat, I woke up to do a little touch up of my presentation and script, then when to meet the usual 3 to go Bowei's house, before heading to JiaoLian's place for a vegetarian steamboat dinner. Every year we had been doing this, it's really rather enjoyable, just simply being around and eat, the whole togetherness idea, is wonderful. As someone asked me, why do we chinese love steamboats, I replied, maybe it's the togetherness, the atmosphere where we share what we eat, from the same pot kindda thing.

So after that at 8pm, I rush over to Jorgen's place for night cycling. We went to Cathay for Viral Factor at 2am, then cycle back, sidetracking to Old Airport Road for sugar cane, and Aljunid for Chee Cheong Fun. Overall it was fun, yet Jorgen had a few scratches, sigh. So I did not slept a moment at all, since I got to rush over to Sheng's house at 9am for the annual group bai nian tradition. So the whole thing ended around 1pm at Shixiong house, where I slept a good hour or so, before having another half an hour sleep at Johann's place before heading to CHIJMES for the GateCrash event.

The event was awesome, though it was rather expensive for it. However I think the way they hide the clues and such is really interesting. Yet I was actually expecting much more. I was expecting that we are trapped in a room, then we have to search for clues manually, or have those Liar Game type of psychology activities, or stuck with Nash-Equilibrium dilemmas, then complete them stage by stage, to escape the castle.

Well, at least we had sort of fun. Definitely going for the second round, and rather hoping we might be able to find some opportunities of event management jobs too.

So after all these, I had only completed 1 of my assignments. I rushed one of them today at my break time, and gonna rush the other one at tomorrow's break too.

Really tiring, especially the project, rather killed me much. Oh well, gotta compromise to spice up my life. Anyway, was again handling the issue of "Why not die?".... the "Vanity of Vanities, All is Vanities" syndrome. But this time Im more sensitive, instead of bo chup like I previously was, about this because of all the recent suicide news. Seriously, what's the point of publicizing all these into headlines?? Only to contribute more negative energies. Sigh.

So after the whole thing I went back into Ecclesiastes again, and glance through, and saw these few verses that I think it's really great...

"And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God."

"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."

Precisely, the purpose of existing is to finish this journey of life, as fruitful and fun-tastic as possible, so hesitate to do something, and do with all our might, and in midst of it, have fun~!

Was observing an ice cream man, business was good, but I realized every customer would leave with a smile on their faces, and often had a few joyous guffaws just in that few sentences of conversation. Despite his hard work, he's able to serve with such high standard of customer service, really awesome~!! =D Everyday's hero.....

Oh right, I participated in a new journey, for experience and to "force" myself to understand this topic, since Im totally not interested in these virtual illusions. Good luck for me and my team~!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zslsJGwk13I&feature=related

So cool, as a performer, he should be feeling really elated! To have the whole audience grooving with you, so cool~

Was listening to the few acapella by Metro Vocal Group, man they rocks~!! Their canto pronunciation are perfect in my ears! Then I drifted into songs by Beyond, and the bass of 光辉岁月 really reverberated in my ears like some rock concert, and then finally to an Eason song, 爱是怀疑, that was covered by MetroV. I think its really a cool song because of the beat, the pace of the rap, the chorus, esp the part that alternated the fake and real voice. So cool~ The lyrics are rather unique too, unlike most love songs.

So Jorgen just touched down on sg, and QinDa already planned for night cycling tomorrow~ Oh gosh, gotta rush my assignments either now or wake up early tomorrow for them, 3 essays, 1 presentation... sigh, should had done it just now, but went out with Angel cuz she had never been to PP, like OMG she went to suntec and vivo, yet had never been to PP??? We challenged katong laksa, obviously she lost haha~!!

Actually before that wanted to ask Johann out to BBT shop, since its been long time since we sat there to talk and play chinese chess, but then that annoying "orh" just dampen my mood completely, like what the shit cant you write more? will it hurt for you to write more, elaborate more? chuck in random topics and dont fucking kill the conversation? these days I think his One Piece fucking screw him sia!

Wait..... hmm actually last time he also like that, his lol, and kk, and sigh.... then kept complaining I always find him, sigh... personality... personality...... Walao, actually kind of think of it, seriously I have issues with almost everyone, just didnt really say out, am I that hard to please? Urgh, it's weird kind of think of it, that we could stay on so long, compromise, giving in, I guess, that made us last, since I usually kept them within myself and this blog. It's CNY, shall not display these fed up attitude.

Anyway, today Ive reinforced my stand that parents nowadays dont know how to be parents. Sigh, but actually some of parents also a little too unreasonable, cant always vent their frustration on the kids right? And kept using hurtful words like "dump you" or something like that, and their treatments too. Sometimes, I think using law, though very superficial, had its benefits too, like for couples to go through a year of "training and practical exams" before their ROM and maybe "Registry For Sex",
that can reduce useless parents that only know how to enjoy and screw the future generations.

Thats basically all for today. JYJY~~ after this week, it would be one module down~!!!

As shared on fb, was doing a project on Toilet Paper Dispenser, suddenly thought of a scene in , the part where the teacher say: "When people think of rubbish, they will think of you, rubbish, you, you, rubbish"..... so applied in this scenario: "When people think of toilet, they will think of us, toilet, us, us, toilet"...... hahahhaa

But oh well, at last it was all done!

Oh right, these few days I realized my topics with parents are about business already, sigh, the realization that im getting old sucks, especially when I gotta feed 4 families in the near future, where my Ji Pa Ban~~~??? However so far no luck in all the small business Im trying to establish, neither any attractive opportunities that I could spot on. An old friend was suggesting on potential market, but after analyzing it, seems like not a right time to strike since it is too new, so the start up cost still a little too high, and awareness or marketing of the product requires huge effort. Shall wait longer, perhaps High Achievers would be my forte.

Tomorrow gotta visit Bowei, then JiaoLian, then night cycling, Sun would be Bedok Wushu Annual Bai Nian, then the GateCrash event at chijmes. 3 Exams coming next week, excluding presentation. Sigh.

So for CNY, first day we had a video call over to Indo to greet my grandma and uncle, then cousin came to seat awhile until another cousin came. That's practically all, oh yea we ordered pizza, the fortune bag pizza (it was shrimps) since the hawker are all closed. On the second day, we had lunch at QQ noodle house since it;s the only noodle stall opened at bugis, then proceed to thomson to visit that same and only cousin (as in with the whole family around). After that, we went back QQ for dinner before heading to the River HongBao. Along the way, we dropped by Mondial, a diamond shop, and had a little chat, since they're probably bored to death there haha. So yea we had gained knowledge about GIA number on the diamond belt, and the investment practices, and the grades of the diamond, which differs with its shape, having triple excellence the best in the world for rounded excellent, and double excellence the best for other shapes like heart, oval, etc. There's also the colour difference and the grade difference.

So basically my assignments are untouched, waiting to rush over them these few days. Today consultation was not very smooth. Oh well shall leave it to the group first since they're more familiar with it, and yea today I devoted into the CDS project. Completed the entire report, and gonna work on the presentation probably on fri or saturday. Gonna be busy this weekend, with all the assignments lining up, yet the bai nian tradition with wushu on sat and sun. Gonna look forward to it, I mean, well, despite being rather plain and simple, we tend to have endless topics to talk about when 4 of us are together haha, as JiaoLian says: Last time, the food we ate have extra ingredients, their tears or sweats, of all the hardwork making the food, nowadays also got extra ingredients, our saliva, hahahhahahaha, cuz we sang and talked as we bbq the food hahhahaa.

Thinking back, actually I do not remember much about the details of 2008 tuan bai, but somehow it's the most memorable, most smiles-provoking as I think of it, but not sure how fun was it, I only remember the bang game and the various chalet games we played at JiaoLian and SX house. Well, anyway, thats the group that despite all adversities, would always be there to put smiles onto my face, and would never leave. Im rather sure of it now. =D Despite all the joys I probably could get with other groups and all, they last only for that moment, and perhaps that all, whereas this is the group we can have constant joy =D weird personalities we have, perhaps we're really destined to be in such a pattern haha, fire, water, wood, metal.

Just watched episode 23 of Double Bonus, seemed like the drama ended, yet it ended on such a weird number, shouldnt it be 20, 30 or at least 25? But the last scene seemed to conclude everything already, having the whole family together for reunion dinner and the 2 good birth news. Sometimes I do wonder, how is it that possible to display such happiness in the filming scene, imagine smiling halfway then gotta cut and redo haha, then they still can have a time of their life as if they were their real family, and that bliss.... Hmm...

Anyway, an under rated, humble, low profile, random song I heard from the River Hong Bao. It has an easy-listening, folk song kindda thing, simple tune, like Dao Xiang.

《榜样》

用顽强去征服每一个困难
用顽强去感动所有的风浪
Using determination and resilience
To overcome all adversities and storms.

该种下星星时就种下星星
该收获星光时就收获星光
There's a time for everything
Including to raise a bright shining star

用智商去擦亮每一个笑脸
用智商去打磨每一个梦想
To put gloss in every smile
To polish every dream

该撒下豪情时就撒下豪情
该扬起欢畅时就扬起欢畅
At times, be humble
At times, gotta celebrate

Happy Chinese New Year~!!!! May the year of dragon be prosperous and bountiful in all your desired areas~!! =D

新年快乐~! 祝你龙年吉祥，身体健康，笑容常开~！

Its CNY, and Im doing the 守夜 tradition, well, had a pretty hard time going into every person that still in my heart, posting greetings on their walls, spent like 40mins on that just to get 60 plus returns, but well, thats rather alot alreeady, there are some who seemed really grateful about it, really thankful of them too~ its really great to see people acknowledging your efforts.

The china CNY countdown was cool, lots of news like people who saved her kid from 10storey drop, a father who helped the refugees kids that he lost his own kid, and many more awesome story of awesome man doing awesome deeds. So there was this song they sang, and I think it's really great, that says that good people are everywhere around us, no matter what role they have, major or minor, they all made a difference to the world, and really, who knows, we can be part of the good people team as well!

好人就在身边，也许是老张小李
好人就在身边，也许是大叔阿姨
好人就在身边，也许是同事邻里
好人就在身边，也许就是自己

你不认识我，我不认识你
互相牵牵手，旅途就有了伴侣

你不认识我，我不认识你
互相帮帮忙，生活就少了风雨

你不认识我，我不认识你
互相暖暖心，冬天就有了含义

你不认识我，我不认识你
互相加加油，心中就多了勇气

Next I would like to share a video I watched just before my reunion dinner after sending Angel, Shishi and Chang Hong off,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OqOHxwRy04&feature=share

my comment: true true, parents often are not able to express their love clearly enough for us to feel it, but then again, why did they work so hard? isnt it for the family? to support us? that their burden of finding money overwhelm them that they often neglect us............ =D HAPPY CNY EVE EVERYONE, PLEASE ENJOY THIS MEAL, AND TRY TO MAINTAIN SMILES THROUGHOUT THE MEAL, ENDURE, EMBRACE AS MUCH, LEAVE EVERY HISTORY EVERY WORRIES AWAY, JUST EAT, AT LEAST FOR THIS ONE MEAL.

And just after the dinner, I saw this post on fb who said that the relatives all went home already when the countdown isnt completed yet, so technically it was not CNY yet, and thus it was only the person, the brother, the cousin and the family left for the grandma.... Moved me, it was liek so sad! I could imagine the frail old lady just having the moment of bliss to see the house filled with family members, enjoying, thus would carry a hope, a life, that was so uplifting, that they CNY would be great, and then the relatives all left.... sigh...... shattered....

And also Ive come to know some families that didnt have the reunion dinner, worst still to eat without the person, or to not taking it seriosuly, sigh..... Come to think of it, though int he past I didnt really take it seriously, at least I ate together at home, though might not be on the same table top, but yea, its homecooked, and at home.

Well, today spring cleaning was pretty well done I guess, re-did the chores again since tomorrow onwards cant touch the broom. Thanks the 3 people who came, though I think it was a bore for them, but well I told them i was busy and might not have time to entertain them. But yea still grateful much!

Then yea, now, im alone, in the middle of the night, parents slept. 2 more hours to go~! Oh yea, was looking around for deals, and saw many beautiful v-day gifts, and rather affordable, aishhh another v-day with me myself and i =D one day, I shall plan the greatest v-day for the one and only lady of my life, actually I would want to have a full day, starting out with homemade breakfast for her, then going into a dance worshop or baking or something or the day, then the usual sunset, and then take a stroll along sg river, ending up at a supper place of cheesecakes. Haha, then its all complete, 5 language of love complete~ and best if there are photoshoot too of the day, made into an album =D

Watched We Not Naughty; just now, pretty awesome story I think, despite lots of negative comments among netizens.

After the successful hits of his I Not Stupid series and Home Run, Jack Neo finally released another movie tackling certain teenhood social issues in Singapore. Themes he explored includes cyber-bullying, where the point he was trying to make was that as we generate hate, be it virtually or physically, we would have our consequences.

So this brings me back to the point about criticisms on net, I used to agree that anything virtually shouldn’t be taken seriously and should not be involved into the physical world, but guess I was wrong, I think it do will have its effect. Nice phrase in the movie: “Last time, being out would lead children turning bad, nowadays, being in the house would turn the children bad instead.” Haha agreed, somehow, actually being out with curfew actually is more beneficial I guess, had more interactions and experience of the real world out there. Thus there are some people I believe had been rotting at home too long that their academic excellence doesn’t equate to their common sense of the world. Thus, these people often are ignorant and oblivious to the society around them, leading them thinking the world revolves around them, turning them into selfish prawns, “Otak Udang” as I label, means Brain of Prawn (No Brain). Right, I suddenly thought of the joke I broke to a friend who just dyed his hair, I told him: Now you will definitely survive zombie invasion (cuz zombie eats brains which he don’t have) hahahhahahahha.

The next theme he touched on was on education, as usual, specifically the polytechnic/ITE, cuz he used ITP, so not very sure which is he referring to. Anyway, so there was this very dedicated teacher that tried very hard to help them, that believed in them, that refused to give up on them. I think this part of the story was good, where the teacher actually stripped and ran the whole school on losing the bet with his student. Despite losing his job initially, he had gained his reputation as a man of his word. He then gained the approval and admiration of his students, for one who is dependable, and trustworthy. I think this should be a model, a yardstick for all teachers to aim for. It’s really hard to do such an embarrassing “punishment”. If it were to be me, I would at most run with underwear.

Furthermore, upon knowing that his students were running for loansharks, he decided to empty his savings for them. 60k~! That was a huge lump sum of money! And not being stereotype, but seriously, is it worth it? 60k for people who had such high probability to make the effort go in vain? That struck me again. So, saying that we don’t look down on them, we don’t give up on them, do we really feel that way. By thinking about cost-benefits and turnovers or return, that showed that I did not have such magnificent heart, rather a hypocrite. Sigh. Well, the thing is, that sum was almost 100% of that teachers, not 10%, personally, I wouldn’t give more than 50% of my everything to anyone be it in verge of death, seriously, sadly. For me, I would help solve every problem halfway, and leave the other half to their efforts or for them to find more “beneficiaries”.

One really awesome quote from him, “能怪父母没教好你，能怪社会不理清， 可是未来掌握在自己的手中，自己的未来自己决定自己负责。你能怪父母和社会，但他们能替你坐牢，打偏吗?”

It translates into: You can blame your parents who did not govern you well, who didn’t show enough concern for you, or the society, the disparity, the biasness, the elitism, the inequality, that crippled you, that crushes you with all the obstacles, but in the end, your future is in your hands, the future is decided by your every actions and decisions you have made. You can blame everything under the sun, but can they replace you if you were to end up in jail or to be stroke?

And then, the next theme was parents, the examples parents showed to a child. I would say the script was good from the point of view that the way Wei Jie hit his sister was exactly like his dad, so there was this concept of learning. But there was this speech I think at the end where they say, sometimes, as parents, they could not express their love clear enough, but a lot of times, it is us who didn’t gave us a chance to, like these few years I have been occasionally buy them breakfast, chat with them, and I found out hey, they weren’t so bad after all, partly because of the scholarship perhaps, just like Samy said, “to shut their mouths up with your achievements”, but also because I initiated to start the bond. After all, they are probably the most willing to help me in times of trouble. However, in this society, ive seen many who do not. Sigh. Especially for mothers, seriously, don’t you love your kid after so much pain you’ve gone through during birth? It’s like at the scene where the 2 kids helped deliver the baby, it reminds me of the psychology lecture where they say men probably faint when seeing the birth process haha, which thus in some ways, women are superior in handling pain and stress.

The movie had a few nose-sour-ing part, like when the mom kept believing in “think positive”, when the small kid was framed for things he didn’t do, when the mother faint upon her husband’s violence, when the teacher tried to put sense into the 2 kids, when the teacher decided to run naked and asked for his wife’s support, when the daughter got her hair cut by her mum, when the brother bought a cap for his sister as he wanted her to study hard, etc……. I think the mood throughout the film is pretty well done, nice transition between funny and sad or serious, though in the middle a few boring parts. I do think that it was pretty well done for a movie to infuse in so many social issues. Though I think there are more issues to that. Oh I love the “foreign talent” part hahahahha~!

The pay-it-forward concept was there again, that the teacher had tried to help the kids, thus in the end, it was them who had helped his wife deliver the kid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6bbOonyxq8&feature=share

Above is a short clip on CNY reunion dinner. Msg is straightforward and clear, so Jorgen went to Korea an hour ago, till then. Hmm, since yesterday stayed over at his house, this morning I packet nasi lemak and dumpling for family. I was home at 9.30am already, like wow so early... So spent time talking to them, about psychology, and various random topics and etc. It was a nice 3h, sort of bonding kindda thing.

So after that, since I didnt had anything else to do nor anywhere else to go, so I stayed at home watching movies and came across the above video. It's really cool, due to an Act of Random Kindness, the old guy got his family together for CNY. SO heartwarming.

(spoiler alert to 9pm show! and movie "Courageous")

So I watched miotv for the 9pm show, double bonus, and there was this scene whereby the "uncle" was found out to be an imposer, and the family was raged. Yet actually to my point of view, he didnt do anything real bad in the family, he had been good towards the "sister", so he's simply trying to give that "sister" a chance to care for a "brother". I think it's better this way being ignorant than knowing everything and make yourself so unhappy.

Well, though it might be freeloading, but to give a person an opportunity to care for someone close is really a big sacrifice, a big good deed. Not everyone is able to care for another one that they can be sure that their efforts would be worth it, and that the person is trustworthy enough to give your 120%.

So anyway, watched Courageous yesterday. The beginning was rather boring, until there was this part where that Javier was posing as the "Snake King". Haha, but overall, yea life works in an interesting way, that out of the sudden that Adam called Javier, mistaken him from another guy of the same first name. And a few nice parts, like how Javier stood upright against cheating, and that got him the promotion for the employers were testing his integrity. Speaking of which, I dont think I can ever par with that level of integrity, and perhaps so I often knew people who hide things from me big or small too, but it's alright, better this way, not too much of doubts and mistrusts.

One point I took back from the movie, is the ceremony where they signed the Resolution to be a good father, not good-enough, good. So these guys really cool, it was like the childhood perception of superman dads, and yea, wow that is loads of commitments and efforts. But the thing is, no matter how small is it, I think its good to have that concept of having a ceremony for it. Like wedding, like Xmas, like CNY, these are occasions that would remind us what our commitments are, and how serious are we into it, that there are these occasions, reserved to commemorate the purpose of these days. So IMO this is a great point to take away. Often we have the flame at the beginning, yet dies down fast, because we do not have grand visuals that could remind us of these decisions. Thats why Adam Khoo has loads of posters and etc.

Pretty cool, well the movie I watched today are "Our Family Marriage" and "Lottery Ticket". Our Family Marriage is cool too, talks about how 2 cultures of parents came together and plan a wedding for their kids, "Our marriage, their wedding" concept haha. This is a reinforcement of the "parents live vicariously through their children" concept. "Lottery Ticket" was lame actually, just a little sociology theory thats it, nothing much about life and all, and more of leading people into the delusion that we can strike rich by lottery.

Haha oh yea, today the 7m prize, sigh, weird numbers came out, and I found out that I had 5 of the numbers, just in 4 separated entries haha. Oh well, better luck next time. Seriously, if I were to strike, I would spent at least 50% of the 7m into others, perhaps supporting a family, or things like that, and others most probably for my parents, and I would just be contented with the 1m... Ji Pa Ban wish =D ofcoz if family allow, I would like to distribute them to some of the kids I know of. Though the sum isnt much, but it is a great start up for social mobility and opportunities in life of anyone's life.

Sigh, money is the source of all problems in society........... a constant worry for all......

Today in LAW we learnt about the Grey Nomads, and several travel choices, and thus led us to think whether caravan travelling is possible in sg. After enlightenment by Terence and Mala, it got me thinking that it is really possible, for despite the ridiculously high priced COE, there are a relatively high number of car ownership. Thus, we see that it is in our nature to drive, to speed, to enjoy the empty road, to enjoy the night streets. That encourages people to actually drive to JB just for a meal, and stuffs like that, and then we link to the idea that sg isnt spacial limited, in fact, most of our ancestors would agree that because they are very much connected to their roots, thus sg is connected to the neighbouring countries, that we can link all the way to Europe from sg. SO that brings me to a relative too that would bike across Indonesia just for the fun of it, despite their Silver age.

So anyway, there was this topic on foreign workers in sg. So I was sharing how pinoys foreigner have very high perseverance and great hospitality. I was buying food and had a little chat, which allow me to know that he worked 12h a night, 9pm-9am, everyday full time. So I was like "arent you tired", and he shrugged, "well, I've got no choice". So then I compared to the few previous pinoys I knew, and I said, well, they are all of the same build, and facial features, and a certain kind of expression. They're really awesome magnificent people. Then my friend mentioned about how he used to have a maid that served them 8years, and now she's doing well as an experienced maid, serving angmohs, which fetches her big money. So his family changed her life. Yet then the sad thing is that her son passed away just before her contract end. It was so sad, I conversed with many maids before, and it's really heartwarming to see them mentioning about their children in their hometown, and they share the photographs with you, "this is my kid"....

Then he went on saying these people are so sad, they torture themselves living in this environment, just to sent money back to their hometown, and usually a large portion of it, at least 50%. However there are many cases of their husbands using the money to feed other women, and stuffs like that, and also cases where they were looking forward to see their kids, prepared with sea of toys, yet the bad news broke. Sigh. How is it possible for these people to go through all these, where some people just spend money in the arcade like running tap.

As I walked home, 1am, on the empty streets, again the song came.....

And I will live
To carry your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be your hand and feet....

And I will give
With the life that I've been given
To go beyond religion
To see the world be changed.....

So I was thinking, I know ive been spending tremendous amount of energy and time on random people that I feel "worth" helping, as much as I can, so what if 10years down the road, I couldnt devote that much time anymore... how? This kind of thing cant pass the baton.

So reminds me of what my dad used to say when I was young, that he hoped for me to be a big boss, to be able to feed so many families, by giving them jobs and taking care of their well-being, and yet have income to enjoy life as well.

Sigh. Big stress. I've started the moving blue project, trying to commission at a low rate of a buck per piece sold, and see if we can make this business grow, and if possible, get companies to invest on it for corporate tee or event tee, and publicize it, and could even open a branch here, by licensing it.

As for others, yea, just step by step, have faith in whatever I do now, the rest is all up to nature how it want to liven my life story. Soon, I should be starting to send resumes in to high achievers and try to get jobs there, and perhaps one day I could be one of the trainers too, making money with saliva like Adam Khoo, one of my biggest dream in secondary school.

Today I only had consultation.

Weird feeling, felt that Siva was rather pissed, dont know about what, hoped its not of me... one way or another, but its like I didnt do much though my part was one of the biggest portion, but yea it didnt take me as much effort. Grateful for Jordan to be there cheering the atmosphere, like always, very optimistic, often helped me to not think too much as well, like how I did a typo error and was rather down then he was like "who cares, its all over, look at the bright side". He's awesome =D

Anyway yea no one was at church, so I went to the library after snacking at bedok. Noticed as I sat to eat my dumplings, around me were single old folks too, some with headphones, others with newspapers, just like last wed when I noticed as I package food for my family back, I saw this folk carrying 2 packets of chicken rice (i think), and kopi o on another, with the same slipper I had, tee and shorts. So cool...

Anyway, at the library, I noticed some interesting behaviors too. There is this guy reading and studying, but after a while kept flipping back like go stun to read again. This is perhaps he lost the stamina to focus after a few pages, and thus as he read something that caught his attention, he gotta refer back to previous pages to link them up again for the transition probably. So I became a little self conscious and realized I do that too often. Johann on the other hand was completely different, he cant skip at all, not books nor movies. He gotta read every detail, and thus perhaps thats why it was a struggle for him to read Games At Twilight by Anita Desai.

Then there was this woman, she was smiling to herself, yet that kind of smile sort of gave me a warmth feeling, a friendly, angelic feeling, full of graciousness and greatness. However her behavior was weird, she would walk a few rounds to the back of the library, then came back to put on her slippers, then walk a few rounds to the other end of the library, and then sit back and have some time on her own closing her eyes as if thinking, praying or meditating. Really interesting person. She seems to ignore yet not ignorant about her surroundings. I noticed that first because many people were irritated by some school kids on the comp, but she smiled. It was a "adult" smile, like uttering "kids are kids...".

Anyway, just had a thought, the lyrics to Sometimes When We Touch, it's about a broke up couple, perhaps 两个对的人，再错的时候, like 2 right people yet wrong timing.This is read as a one person speech instead of a duet like I had always thought so due to the Dolly and Kenny version of the song. The couple probably broke up and the speaker still loves the other party, and hoped that they can still remain in contact, yet the flame is too overwhelming for the speaker that causes the suffering, and the fact that they were together and now they were apart.

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Thats why when this party had intimacy with the ex, the speaker would think about all their pasts, and then would understand that the speaker needs the other person, that the speaker still loves the person, but broke up for some reasons, thus would have this dying need to burst out with tears and shout "I love you" and go back to the person and never part again. The fear of parting, the fear of not in contact with the person anymore, yet with contact comes all the memories and pasts.

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

The speaker do not want to lose face, and also perhaps have other reasons not to patch up, but there's this inevitable feeling of like "begging", like "surrender" kid of feeling. It's like a romance story, but couldnt continue the story, blocked by the incident. The speaker is also someone who is competitive, perhaps the other party initiated the indication to break up, so the speaker is hurt with the first 'failure" in life. Still very childish attitude.

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

Sometimes the speaker felt that there's a need to make the other party put in more effort into that past relationship, that instead of the speaker feeling pathetic now, she would want the other party the one who was so deeply in love to be willing to do so, since it is blissful to be loved. But then again, what the speaker ultimately wants and needs is the other party to be around, to be in possession.

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by


Being together, at times the speaker thinks that the speaker knows the other party, as the person would had seen and known when the other party did great feats for the speaker, but yet the speaker self would know that the speaker had did things that the other party hates and loathes, and a little alternate meaning might imply that the other party had realized that the other party had missed out other kinds of love because of this romantic love.

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

Maybe the speaker would think that they are not suitable for serious relationships yet, and its better to remain as friends, yet it is rather impossible to do so, for the speaker is hopelessly inclined and devoted to loving the other party only.

Today I served in Church,

Today was full force. Tired due to sleeping at 2pm, but well, Made it through the day. The whole event ended 3pm++, went to Jorgen's house till 6pm or so, then went for dinner at KFC for the promotion thing. Should have ate at hawker... sianz... Next few days gotta save up alot alot for the pizza =D its been long since I ate pizza, hope by sore throat and dry cough be healed soon.

Interesting things Ive learnt today, the rest was repeats and are rather bore, was expecting more, but anyway, yes, sometimes, when we fall short of our plans, look forward to the next, dont be discouraged. Just like as we are busy in our lives, we often skipped meals, but that doesnt mean we dont eat anymore, we simply look forward to the next meal and enjoy it more. Same principle applies.

Next was the Parable of Toilet Paper haha cute uh? When the toilet paper was brand new, we pull a few sheets, it turned a bit, but as time goes by, when we pull that same number of sheets, it would turn revolutions. So cool... haha.

So yea thats basically all... Oh saw this challenge Naomi posted on chat for Yin Kei, give few words then lump them into a poetry so as I see these words I have some ideas here and there and... ta-da~!!

horses, war, wild, wind, gates of hades,
swords, shields, tears, freedom

The Gates of Hades flung open.
For as the Trojan horses broke,
And the war commences,
And the silent wind went wild,
Swords slashes, shields clashes
At last, tickling down their cheeks,
Tears of Freedom.

The poetry can be read from top to bottom for the perspective that the enemies are those in the city, and as they entered the city, they ambushed them, for the freedom, perhaps after years of suppression or subjugation, and they fought for freedom.

Read from bottom to up, it seems like they wanted to be free from these "unwelcomed" and "unexpected" guests, and thus the fought to drive these people in the Trojan Horses back, to annihilate them, to protect their city.

Oh no, weekends are burning fast. Fri planned to cut hair, play games, then rest already. However, due to MOUSEHUNT~!! I joined the tournament on thur that made me discard every tasks im supposed to do for that. So yea, it snowballed to fri where I got to stay in sch 11 to 3 to finish up the BNF and LAW projects. Sigh. So I ditched Jorgen at scc haha. When I reached, he was teaching Gerome. So it really surprised me but Im really glad he was arranged to do so. As his background, he should have seen several slow learners in his life too, so its great to train him in this field so he might one way or another help other people in his life too. I believe he got the ability to excel much, and help much.

So yea so I went there, chat a little here and there, so great seeing Alvin and Chalmers, and also Le Le too, and Javier haha, he hugged me and said: "You stink, but I dont care..." soooo sweet......

So then we went with Angel and called Chang Hong for basketball. We played till 6pm, then had dinner and went to Jorgen's house. I helped him downloaded utorrents and various applications while installing Need For Speed The Run. Woah he got an awesome comp and an awesome internet. Razor, made for gaming. So he was revising Customer Service. We went through the first 2 chapters and concluded it was rather crap, so much personal impressions than customers service, so I advised him to skip to chapter 8, Customer Retention. So there are certain new terms he learnt, and certain small details in customers service many would miss out, like the "Serve customer certain coloured cups or straw if applicable, when we "guess" what customer would like, and address their needs and wants before they even request". And shared with him the POM projects and learning points.

Then comes the sigh part haha. NFS was installed, and we tried, and frankly it was a great thriller. The stages are hard to clear, party because we never knew the acceleration button haha so we were playing without accelerating but pure nitrous haha. Anyway, yea so we played till 2pm.

Then we talked a little here and there about songs and music. Then we decided to sleep. It was 3pm then~! and downloads were done at close to 4pm.

We woke up at 8am then, planned for breakfast which obviously couldnt, which cost him a 7 bucks cuz he needed passport sized photos fast, which could have saved that money if he were to say that days in advance. So we had breakfast at Ya Kun, I had the french toast. Wow, speaking of that my stomach is grumbling now.

So just nice I enquireed about TCC solutions too, and cool, nice job for him. Maybe I would join too for a while just to adorn my portfolio and get that iphone plan benefit. Everything seemed to fall so nicely, we were studying about customer service, and he had to go to work today at last minute call due to manpower shortage. So I think he's still there now till 2 midnight. Really hoped he's alright!

Oh yea, because of that, he went home between 2 to 3 to put down his stuffs, which thus I tabaoed food for him and therefore late for the teachers meeting for half an hour. I thought it would be a very formal and serious meeting, so was rather kanchiong and all that, event thinking that if my 'attitude' was questioned, I would say that I didnt think my reason for latecoming would be justified yet I would repeat the same decision if there is a second time. Woah liek so "the oath" that show haha. Yea cuz I didnt drew money, thus he lent me 50, which made him pennyless, and no time to eat, and if he dont eat, his 4h of sleep wouldnt guarantee the energy needed to last through his work, so I made that decision.

So of coz, everything falls in place so perfectly, shortly after I reached, then they started the meeting, and bible study, and everything ended as usual. Cool~!! Amazing at lots of times how God works~! So during bible study, I was amazed my their deep and wise interpretation of the study verses. Impressed! Immediately as I read, I have lots of questions and doubts and all the whys, but they cleared it all without me uttering a word! Lots of it are simply because I did not read enough, or missed the point. But still, awesome because a certain verse was so trivial to me yet it was liek the crucial part of the study verses!

So A.Jacq was sharing about the ministry, and that till date there are 800 ex students out there, and how she hoped that each of them would find their way to the connection with God, but we shall focus one by one, liek the Parable of Lost Sheep. She mentioned Jorgen too, and about that day where we "昔日重逢" (met again after years). Im rather proud though, that I am still in contact with people liek WeiDe and Jorgen, and with KY's help, reached to Amanda, Jewel, Qinda and the rest. And she shared something so cool, that sometimes, we never knew if we are that crucial move in chess that would affect the whole game board, that would cost a huge advance or failure into the game. And the thing is that we dont have to know what is it, we dont need to move nations, we just need to do our best in whatever we are doing, and the rest will follow along.

Then, I met up with Chang Hong as he passed me old books for the scc, then went to Bedok Point for lunch and arcade, and Gong Cha~! and then finally back home. Hmm, 3 more hours to Jorgen's off, doubt I have the energy to last through though, oh well....

Arh yea, tomorrow is the Tribe Meeting. Seriously, I thought there was no wushu, when they asked me I was liek "only if I dont have wushu, if have I would be late and attend the gathering only" But dont know why got the image that last week was last week already, so I said okay I will turn up at 9am, and yea k I was just blur all the way.... So yea, was a little irritated when someone said to me: "More liek you agreed without thinking, more like you"..... Sigh, like for pass few events either I went after wushu or I skipped totally for wushu, can cross reference though this blog archive itself somemore, oh well, lazy to sort of "proof" myself, I always have a certain bad reputation in wushu anyway. First impression are anchored deep, hard to be changed. And also the Orh reply... oh well, personality.....

Right... Ciao~!

Today in LAW we touched on financial issues on the Older Persons. Terence started off writing the three words: $$, Families, Older Persons, and then asked us to bombard him with our first impressions, and whatever we can think off, onto the board, then link them to the three words.

Now, here's the interesting findings, most of us would put the words "burden" and "dependent" under "Older Persons" and "Sandwiched Generation" under "Families". Then he questions us, how many of us are financially independent, and how many of us actually fix broken appliances, pay the electricity bills and all these stuffs. So what he is basically trying to point out is that nowadays, it is normally the other way around, where those baby boomers, even up to perhaps 60, are the Sandwiched Generation. They are the ones who would take care of us as well as their parents.

So the next part of the tutorial, he made us divide our time spent into a pie chart. And categorize them, as well as rank them. So after much categorizations and etc, I ranked them, and calculated them, and for the next step, he asked us to think of two Older Person, one male, one female, and do the same thing. So then I compared my pie chart and their pie charts. One finding is that, generally, females tend to have more category, and thus look more interesting, and for the males, work and family tend to be the top most priority, yet the rank of work might be one of the lowest, simply that it's now their chores, their responsibility, their duty to work, thus compromising time to be spent with the other higher ranked priorities in life.

Then, there's a vast difference between our pie charts and theirs. We have lots more categories than them, at least I do, and work is one of the lowest rank as well as portion. So as usual, he asked us how do we think our 3 pie charts would differ in the next 5 years and 10 years. Probably, we see that the older males or even females would start to have more categories now, since their can focus more on whatever they had missed out like gathering back their friends, pursue hobbies and interests, upgrade personal skills, etc, and for us, sadly, our categories get lesser and lesser, and more time will be devoted to work. So yes, I do feel that social network is really important.

Social Network is defined as simply the belonging in some kind of group or club by a certain membership by labeling or religious practice. This would then lead to Social Integration, whereby it is defined as how close the group is, how high the sense of belonging, how much we feel as a part of the group, or how useful, how recognized. Then it is Social Capital, defined as the opportunities and benefits we reap from being part of the group.

He gave us a economist pov of overseas cip, which cost around a thousand for a person, thus lets say 50k per trip, doing probably amateur standards of work, for the self contentment of the students such that they would feel good about their effort put in, thus felt benefited. Also, these students are most likely to want to repeat the act if given chances, as they formed a certain type of bond. Yet practically, the 50k would be better optimized if the money was sent there, assuming it would be trusted and etc, and would minimize wasted expenses on aircrafts and other stuffs like that. This is interesting, because I personally am strongly against sending money, but rather go there and contribute my effort. It wouldnt shake my stand though, but yea this is sociology.

So he was sharing about job opportunities and stuffs like that.

Then the last thing is that he said that you wont know that you are lacking of Social Network until it is already lost. Which is really true, sometimes we are too focused into our "ranked" priorities and even those low ranked but its a "needed" kind of priorities, that we slowly lose our Social Network, only to realize and dawn upon it when we retire, when there is a transition to life stages, a disrupt in lifestyle. As for myself, I sort of understand the shrinking of the categories, and sort of hoped that somehow or another, the bonds we forged would be resistant to time. Ofcoz I know its rather impossible, but Im really grateful for facebook, for it will somehow keep us updated, and thus years down the road, we wont be too awkward.


Shela Solita: As we grow older, we'll come to realise that we have lesser and lesser friends. But on a positive note, at least we don't waste our time on those fake friends anymore.

Weilun Ng: Life's about love & friends, & $$$. Although friends won't be there for us forever but i am sure we can't live without friends. (:

Both are really nice quotes, but look, fake friends are meant to be there, if not our categories can be really boring, and our Social Network would be small, so as Social Capital, and life could be really mundane then. For myself, I even have a small category devoted to "Misc", means random strangers I meet like Bubble Tea Shop Aunties, Helpees, stall owners, customers, etc....

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DkqTc5snEtC4%26feature%3Dshare&h=MAQERrstWAQF7VfaCQ2VFPgpiR465m2KEIfd9CdUOb7491A

My once cent worth after watching the above video, basically the video is a series of interviews regarding monetary ability and marriage or love. I especially like the last guy who said that if women are so practical, why should men be so devoted into "love", the "love" which the hollywood framed as the ideal happily-ever-after criteria. It's seriously an unfair statement to say that men without capability of earning a certain amount of money is rubbish, is worthless scum, its like saying that women that couldnt bear child is like sex toys. Unfair? Totally.

First of all, the society now is consist of men and women in the working population, why must the men always be the one expected to be working and earning? By using the capability of earning as a yardstick as to how suitable or ready the man is, it showed how materialistic are women in the video.

As such, now to think of it, in the olden days, couples come together may not necessarily because of romantic love, could be matchmade, could be due to some culture or as a solution to other problems. Yet alot of them could sustain the family unlike nowadays. Why? It's the commitment, it is the commitment that they are recognised as husband and wife, thus gotta support each other to survive and live on and gave rise to the future generations.

So hollywood love is fake, so fake that I have seen many 'un-virgins" people in my social circle already. They simply just play around. However, there are also those who did a little thinking and took some responsibility to decide to raise family at such young age. They seemed to have happy families, as all worked together with effort put in by both parties, to compromise and support each other.

So even without money, the couple could think of ways to survive, after all, life will find a way!

Women with materialistic mind is rather pathetic, its like they are marrying to money instead of the man. With this mindset, when disaster comes, I really doubt they will last, especially that lady that wanted 5M yuan!! Seriously, I wonder if she will marry.

Ofcoz, men, in my opinion, are worthless only when they do not wish to upgrade their personal goals and fulfillment. If not, I'm sure, due to face problems, men will definitely try to be the main breadwinner of the household.

So they also point out about Social Exchange Theory, where social change and stability is a process of negotiated exchanges between parties. Social exchange theory posits that all human relationships are formed by the use of a subjective cost-benefit analysis and the comparison of alternatives. SO it's like trading, like economy. Women will go to men with a certain condition, and vice versa, does this call love then? But really, I think this is how the society goes now, there is no hollywood love at all. Maybe there will be staged hollywood love for the beginning, or the dramatized effect, but it will fade after some time, and then it is all up to the couple whether or not to stay to their commitment, of just "update" their goods.

Ofcoz, this is mainly sg i guess, first world country with big income disparity that led to social problems. In other fell behind countries, love is more feeling than brains, imho. This is because their needs are much lesser, their criteria as such are lesser too, which thus they have more room to find the "perfect love". They are simpler, married to a common goal, lesser complexities, more commitments and efforts made.

So yea, I think thats all I gotta say for the video clip. But last but not least, I find it ridiculous when 2 couples treat each other like mutual enemies with eternal grudges after they break up. Cant you be like FRIENDS or HIMYM or dramas, remaining as close friends after breaking up. It's like hey its all about practicality, no harsh feelings.... After all even the true definition of love is a one-sided willingness to commit to make and give the best out of the other party. So things will fail, no rights and wrongs in love, just treat as nothing happened, and remain as friends? Majority Ive seen broke up sour, but there are a handful still in contact, becoming best of friends.

Alright, 4h to sleep left...... zzz.... ciao

Today wushu was rather dead, but those training days feeling was there, which is really good, not so slack, more disciplined. So yes as I discussed with First Class, I think what we are doing now is merely taking over the baton form the senior circle, we arent thinking of progression yet, as such, at least for the "activities" part, we had came up with several "games" that could train certain areas of skills or physical training. I do term this as "games", but looks like the definition for First Class is different, though clearer. So the next step I think I would like to improvise the warm up part to inject in some life in it.

So then me and sheng went for lunch, then waited for Johann, and we proceeded to play bball, and then we talked... and talked... and talked... wow first time lasted so long in conversation with sheng so cool~! Haha. Yea, so then I was mentioning about the wheelchair bound lady, and then for a casual remark I remembered during childhood, while watching "Xi You Ji" (Journey to the West), I asked, why must heaven aid only when one is really in deep shit, great pains, so when life graph d2ydx2 is more than 0 (amaths differentiation terms means the minimum point). So sheng replied something sx mentioned long time ago, that perhaps the person up there had already a fixed number of "sufferings" that is just being distributed or concentrated to make the intensity of "blessings" increase or decrease, long run short run thingy. I remembered I thought of whether we have a huge "misfortune" that every deeds are to decipitate it.

So then not long ago, after watching the channel 5 show about confessions of crime, which is rather boring and common, so while im googling for jobs, I uttered unconsciously, amen, after thinking about the many unfortunate people Ive came across, stranger or not. So then this passage of Job in the bible showed up, wow speaking of hearing the voice. So I read up a little, get a summary of it, and cool, looks like a relevant source to read up, though its rather long, just take it as another literature text I guess, heard of the story, but now shall look deeper into the words.

Oh yea, during wushu jiaolian was telling about the olden days lion head, about the centipedes, clouds, bat, pearls, teeth, and the eyes that swivel left right and not fixed on the front like modern crap lions, which even included a snake on the head, with no logic haha. He mentioned about the olden days disputes settled on lion dance as well, the fighting lion, which includes spear heads on horns and tails, blades on the rim of mouth and leggings, thus the fierce and widespread leg patterns.

Cool culture, liek its a lost tradition that will never surface anymore. And I think these cultures gotta use the snowball research techniques to find out, which the internet cant reach out that far. Asian culture, usually passed on verbally, no publicized journals or whatsoever, thus often lost very fast, just like how hours long ceremony of lion dance could be shortened to an hour or so, with limited knowledge, if not complete ignorance, on the traditional zhen formation and to cai the veg.

Then there's this youtube video, om Feeds Family On $4 Dollars a Week, really cool, I was expecting someone that uses debts and such tricks to circulate and somehow end up with 4 bucks expenditure, yet the lady merely uses coupons that she have searched for hours, and able to pay off 267.23 bucks worth of shopping goods for a cent~!!!! Wow, only available in US, here in sg, everything will have terms and conditions, even first customer will need to purchase to enjoy privileges. Though US had quite a complicated society and lifestyle, but these "policies" and such made people liek these possible, ultimate saver~!!! Feeding a family of 6 spending $4 a week~!! And the one previously having 10s of kids with age gaps of 20 years old or something, surviving on benefits from government only~!!! Really crazy! In sg, its either donation or charity, connections, community, cuz nothing is free in singapore. As we always joked with Marco, in sg, even gettign a girlfriend needs first and foremost, MONEY, no MONEY no HONEY, dont even care how pretty or charming, or kind or intelligient or patient or romantic.

Right, thats all, only possible regret is that I supposed to plan to take my family to Alexander Road, yet was talking till I forgot the time, so we didnt go in the end, and also that the laksa I cooked dried up so they couldnt really taste the laksa soup but just noodles with laksa flavouring....... sigh.....

Woke up 8.30am today, to collect my bike at Tanah Merah, and then met WC, Alan and Jackson for breakfast, then cycled to TM to search for Birthday Gifts for YJ, and then went to Ikea to search for nice frames or stands cuz we were thinking of getting him a basketball for display. So After that parked the bike at church before heading home, did a last minute card since I was afraid that the mass card might fail. Oh well, guess I worry too much? Not my style though.

Anyway, yea then I went back to meet them at Manhattan Fish Market, and went with them to search for gifts, which due to my previous trip I made up my mind to buy the basketball and the sculpture from precious tots, the sculpture was a shepherd sculpture looking up on the sky. I think it's very suitable, because he had been a shepherd to us, herding us, and used his life as a great example of God's works. And his hunger for God is just like that sculpture, so faithful, so sincere. It's his 21st birthday, I really hope he can grow up strong in Christ and everything else too, and fulfilled all the emptiness he had in his heart, including being a good father, for he had not a chance to experience one himself, he shall live vicariously through his children.

Oh yea, joke, so I actually bought the "shuang xi" wedding wrapper for him~!!! It was totally not on purpose, time was running out, and precious tots had no nice designs for the cheapest 1.20 bucks wrappers, so I picked this since it was red, and from far it looked like ordinary present wrapper, until we took it out!!! Hahahaha super joke~!! Oh right, his mum was so cool, he refused when we shouted for him to kiss PY at the party, until his mum said so~ "qin yi ge!" hahahahahah~!!!!

Oh, then Pop Cell have him a set of jersey, which coincidentally matches well~!! It was red top black bottom, just like the ball we gave him~!!! =D so cool, we took few shots of him, one was especially nice~!! =D

The whole party was like celebrity meet, so cool~! Just like on news, with many reporters flashing the camera haha. Cake was awesome, sad I dont really eat durian, esp Mao Shan Wang~!! So strong durian, even the Udders Ice Cream of it I cant finish it. KY was emo-ing whole day, I think its just that he's tired from his medicine effect, hope it was like that, yet you-know-who messaged me, so...... hmm..... (link link, think think)

So yea, that day before the badminton, there was this Wheelchair Bound Lady whom I helped her to CC, along the way I chat with her, as usual, she was complaining about her state, and that she could do much due to her condition, yet there are people gossiping behind her back, labeling her as useless and lazy due to her size, and even her children refused to raise her anymore, and so she's a lonely widow now. Sigh. Dont know about the whole background, and though not surprising, not the first time I see, still, many times I feel, did He who made the lamb make thee? How is it possible to make 2 powerful creatures be of predator-prey relations? Dont it hurt to see your creations fighting another of your creations?

So then as I turned to desktop, this wallpaper appeared to me, something I did long ago. It wrote: Though with disparities, we share the same road n destination, on the walk of life. So yes, be it worrying about 3 meals a day or how to meet quota, after all, we still have our own individual exclusive problems in life, so somehow or another, life is still fair.

Today I drew closer to few persons, shall keep it up. Sometimes I feel more and more lazy about social relations, at times really, I took a shortcut to not think of pick up lines and try to search for common topic, I just ask straight what they are interested in. Sounds weird, but even to the extent of asking, how to cheer you up? haha. I missed the times where I used to skip stones at the reservoir when Im feeling down.

Life is just mot that simple, because if it were to be simple, there wont be any ups and downs, no roller coasters, then there's no need to sieve the strong and the weak in mind, then there wont be films and books that could attract many, there wont be fun at all.

The storm will come, so we shall embrace it, we should tell it how great God is, that we will get to the "yu guo qing tian", that everything will be okay in the end. Though many times Im really wondering, if everything was a part of a great plan, is every decisions made predestined? So wouldnt everything falls in place like a movie? So no matter how we tried to change the world or some sort it will all be futile because is either planned for you or not? And whatever planned to have will have, not will not?

But I dont believe so, because I do believe I have a great purpose here, and I shall fulfill it! Though might not seem very clear now. Anyway, Im still enjoying life, not much big troubles and difficulties.

Been popping by this chatbox, Solid Pop's, not all though, so I once in a while make some noise........

The people there really mingled well, liek so surprising, better than I can ever imagine. =D Their jokes so funny, free entertainment, just leave the chat open and see wha are they saying, while doing other stuffs, works best especially when listening to TED talks, sch works or just surfing youtube. If they were to be on stage, their impromtu can last the audience 3 meals already...... (full because of the air they suck in while laughing) and free workout too (abs are used while laughing).So cool, and they actually are meeting as early as 8am~!!! Woah Im just gonna pop by and cycle and jaga their barang barang...

anyway yesterday just after my blog post, I came by this classic song,

The world is closing in
Did you ever think?
That we could be so close..... like brothers

The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change~~

It's by scorpions, and it really speaks into me, exactly what I was feeling. So today I had work, and sigh, there are some things that I wish I could do better if I were to be a boss one day. And yea Rose is gonna be transferred, so there goes one money source. Nice working with her really, but I never knew how she felt about me, as in work wise. Shall send Johann to spy on her hahahha nah larh shall use Johann to find out how she think about me, and also to find out about the new manager, so I can decide whether to continue or to find yet another work environment. Actually, this isnt a bad thing after all, since last year I started to feel like changing environment already. This is an indirect way to open up a chance for me to jump again.

Regardless the future, I should think Ive done my best, broke lots of rules, learnt lots of things, Im satisfied enough. Yepp, I learnt about how trivial stuffs like throwing potato chips container could be noticed as a potential case and etc. I overall enjoyed my working experience, though I know some who dont, but comparing their attitude with mine, I can safely say I deserve to feel good. Guess this is what the oldies kept emphasizing on, do it with your heart, and "we" can see it.

And so tmr is YJ 21st, gonna wake up early to meet the boys and a girl to run..... then I should be going to tm to look for bball for him, then we can sign and give to him =D and then his party at night....

So 2012 is here, economy doesnt seem too good, and maybe changes are taking place, places like 123 bubble tea shop, mindcafe safra tampines, scc bbtc, bedok wushu... oh well shall have new lifestyle....... oh right, now then remember sx might have part time job for us as instructors =D

Then yea I might work with Tai for all the possible games to put in some education values and fun in it, to be proposed to workshops like MoneySense and other such workshop companies, and from there could make extra $$. And I shall start finding companies that often do events and shall write in to ask to be involved or to see or anything that I might help, even doing sai kang will do. And ofcoz eldercare, though this would be volunteering.

So 2012, shall look forward to Jack Neo's film, hope can have a good laugh though the trailer looks rather dumb, sigh, actually got several funny things from scc, these small cute incidents can be used for movies also, like the remixes of songs by the kids haha, and yea always thought of having a movie of teenage relationships, but kena chope by Apple of Eye already, on newspaper it said to even outshine Kung Fu and other Stephen Chow's shows.......

Wed I went for badminton with Chang Hong, Angel, Jorgen and Qinda....
Surprised, cuz I was expecting Qinda most skilled, yet the opposite, skill wise they're all better. o.O wow! haha.

So a sudden decision urge me to go for night cycling with Jorgen. And so we went. Our first stop was Udders Ice Cream, then I12 Katong, and finally Old Airport Road. The trip was enjoyable I guess, I got to visit I12 which i had yearned to go since dont know when. Throughout the trip chat alot with him, though most of the time Im the one to start topic, almost exhausted of topic already. Well, yea 9 Jan..... where new chapters of life begins, may existing chapters be remembered and never be devoured by dust.

So as I was talking with him, environment is really important. He's one of the decent NT I have met, I really hope this can continue despite the complexity of the future. Though our time spent was so little, I grew a bond with him too, somehow I find him rather loner too. After hearing about his cliques, and his lifestyles, and how his life revolves around me and the SCC volunteers, and his self discipline and self concept to not be influenced by the "mainstream" ppl of his society, he's so cool.

So yea, some of the topics was about business too. So he's wondering where to go to after his first year, so I was suggesting either Event Management or Service. Cuz I think that Singapore is going to become a hub for Meetings, Incentives, Conventions and Exhibitions, (MICE), thus will definitely involved in many foreign investments here to set up events big or small. As such, the market for this should be really big in the near future.

So yea, it doesnt really require lots of capital too, but might need a diverse bank of social connections. Service, on the other hand, should be good too, though I think that it would be a waste of time? Since like you can learn it from workplace. Oh well, hope he will find his most suited area next year =D and perhaps, ten years down the road, we will meet again, perhaps becoming partners or something of that sort? Since looking at his current background, he should be capable to doing big stuffs with his big capital. This made me think of someone who told me some time ago, about him and his sister, being "sweet and adorable kids, but with challenging background". So far, I still dont see that yet. "Yet", because many thorns are not noticed as we glance through the surface of the field of red radiant roses. But anyway, not very important, whats important is to not waste whatever he is blessed with.

I sort of have a new dream to work to, is that 20 years down the road, the 4 of us (WuXuan) will come together often, to meet at a cafe, with our families, having great time bonding the 3 generations. And 4 of us would be successful people, whether together in partnership business or not.

Anyway had some chat with family too, about other companies, and how handful of companies, like Shu Dynasty, fall under the reign of their offsprings, which sort of include our family? Sigh, looking at their lack of guts to pia another career, and their stagnation of at least ten years, and their lack of interest to find opportunities in their hobbies, and their inertia....

I sort of have a self imposed stress to make them proud, to prove to them that everything isnt as complex as they think. With this mindset, I grow more and more afraid each day, that I wont succeed, and trace back their steps again. I notice my strong level of trust lately, and scared that history repeats itself and allowed betrayals to affect or rather to bankrupt a prospering business. Therefore, I really hope to establish good relation with potential partners, to minimize the trust issues and such. I also really hope that people around me can do well and not waste whatever they are blessed with now, for I will definitely need some of them in the future, and hopefully I wont be despised upon, since Im rather pessimist about my capabilities, and my status in the future. So yea, STRESSED..... STRESSED... STRESSED.....

KTV-ed today, some of the nice lyrics:

1)

爱的痛了 痛的哭了
哭的累了 日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好 像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我

爱的痛了 痛的哭了
哭的累了 矛盾心里总是强求
劝自己要放手 闭上眼让你走
烧掉日记重新来过

2)

宁可空白了手　等候一次　真心的拥抱
我相信在这个世界上　
一定会遇到对的人出现在眼角

After a great December, January first few days were more or less used for rest and family time. Since New Year where I went Orchard with family and cousins, Monday invited First Class over for the meeting because I wanted to stay at home, Today I invited Tai's mum too for the Manhattan Fish Market deal =D

Was planning, if possible, to complete all necessarily works to be free on Fri to bring family for the Alexander Road Bak Kut Teh too, and the Serangoon Prawn Mee perhaps some other time. Fri, well, if smooth, I might be able to meet First Class again for SP open house, then drop by Alexander Road before meeting Shixiong for our planned training plans for the first 2 months of wushu classes. I had included in many skills components which I think it might be useful for them outside wushu as well. I had also incorporated the schedule to match NAFTA times too, at least they will sort of train up for their school NAFTA too. =D

For future training, Im planning to include activities that is fun, that can help them learn some sports skills, with some wushu essence inside. Sports skills include ball skills, fielding or batting skills, and other interesting sports like tchoukball. We would also plan to train their reactions and mind too, and if possible, chinese culture, the chinese language itself, perhaps not to extent of tang poems, at least basic characters?

So then I had this idea to set up this committee to help people plan for ice breaking or amazing race games, that we would host them, like the laser tag team. Thus, we gotta come out with many interesting unique games, which we could pilot with Bedok Wushu first. =D As sx said, this is a platform where we could test our leadership, management and creativity without affecting much to anyone, since there isnt report book sor such things that would get parents complaining and questioning.

Next, I would like to bring Moving Blue over to sg, but sigh since starting of the year I only get limited photos of their products, website not updated, samples not sent.... How to do?

And so, hmm, over these few days, I got more insights to social problems in sg, especially in teens. Really, many of them were shocking, and some more common problems are ofcoz bgr. So I see that the recent few cases I see, it can really be a good thing, that love can change one person from head to toe, but there isnt really right and wrong, and what comes around goes around, so...... hmm, shall see how these episodes turn out in years to come. That got me curious, do people last time have all these problems too? Are they really that conservative? Or just that we assume they are more old fashion, or that they kept in to themselves. But one thing for sure, bgr is taking place at very young age now. Ofcoz, as I discover more about a person through another, it could be that the information provider is trying to use me to change the person's view of the information provider instead.

It's not a bad thing I personally thing, it teaches them to care, to manage, to plan, to love, to handle failures, to have responsibilities, to stick to commitments, to deal with social problems.

Anyway, had this talk by some random guy, Im inspired. He had a strong and interesting point, he said that giving allowances would discreetly condition the young to be employees, to work hard, in order to receive a fixed pay, determined by someone of higher authority. As such, he gave no allowances to them, but to let them look around and find things to do, then negotiate with him the incentives. Though this might give rise to money face people, but it actually encourages them to take the initiative to change things they can, to find opportunities themselves, to look at the diversity around them in one more perspective - money prospect. It also train their negotiation skills, their tact, their public speaking, their creativity.

So, a year passed so fast. However looking back on 2011, especially while I write my Lengthy Note on FB, I realized other than 2008, 2011 was my most memorable year! Lots of ups and downs too, from the feeling of crushed as I was almost got rejected to volunteer in SCC, to my academic, to some other problems, and to the opposite scale, to receive standing ovation of hundreds of people, to win my first medal, and first gold medal in wushu, to achieve academic excellence, to receive appreciation from Samy and church leaders, to make new friends.

The year ended and a new year started with me working OT in MindCafe, simply because they are unable to find part timers for the night, and Rose and Marco was on the verge of collapse. Oh yea sent them 2 gifts, Marco was especially happy since I was the only one to sent him a gift. =D gleeful =D But weird too, 2011 ended weird.

So a sudden request from Rose to work got me to burn the midnight for that Lengthy note till 2am, and that night I actually gave a friend a mashed up verse, which Im surprised I could remember exact wordings for the first part despite not paying much attention to it in the bible study days, as I used to think I wouldn’t need it since I believed my self control is great. I realized at times like these, these words, these apt words are crucial, for I might be the only medium to reach to. I said:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

So hope that the person could grow strong too. And then somehow someone almost complete stranger, who used to dislike me, jealous of me, came to find me at work. It was about bgr, well at least the person felt better after that, yet it kindda spoilt my reputation in MindCafe a little. It all started with me throwing the chips with leftovers broken crumbs which I knew it would be thrown and not served so since I’m going to the toilet I ate them. That caught boss’s attention and perhaps grew suspicion on me? Then as I talk to the person, I think boss was monitoring the camera and disliked me talking. Ofcoz all these gotta thank Johann a lot a lot for covering me. He was exhausted I think.

After these many years of friendship, this was one example that I could rely on them completely, with complete trust. He was understanding enough to help me. Also on the same day, as I need to book tickets using credit card yet Im at work, I actually for once gave away my credit card number to Tai, I completely trusted him, for he had trusted me with his house keys once too. Though this might be a bigger issue and even bigger when my parents find out, I don’t know, maybe this would be a test of our friendship, and sure enough he is completely trustworthy.

So the year ended with many weird decisions, from accepting the work, to the buying of tickets, and meeting of the unexpected person, to OT, and such.
Anyway after that we went to 85 Market for supper, and then talked till 6am, knew more about a friend, which I find his character is really good, the environment that kills it.

Sigh, again we touched on commitments and etc. So first is ofcoz bgr, so I was like asking him that is he really serious, or still looking around to find the type of lifelong partner he have, but then I notice signs of love, really love, one that is one sided, basically to hope for the best for the other party, that he would speak sense to when the other party is wrong or something like that. However, yea as many men do he did quite a lot of things too. So his intention of love is good, but too much lust? Sigh. And his choice of partners of far are like…… But anyway more girls with looks are that way, until they decided to find a serious relationship, they started to change, but will eventually end up crushed, because party it should be the first time experienced being rejected.

Then we were saying about friendship too. I mean for myself, and for Johann too, we have this automatic reaction that for major events like New Year or Xmas, our first reaction to appointments are always “no we are sure we will have something on”, no matter how many people asked us out. So this time round, yea, we didn’t feel complete, it was like someone was replaced with another, don’t have that feel of the past few years. I don’t know, it’s a trivial thing though, not a bad thing too because the person I believe is trustworthy and dependable too, just that the person wore many hats, that gotta change time to time, and as he wears one, he’s focused on that one. Few years of friendship, I don’t know, a dilemma question struck me, if it would be a time to choose them or church which would I pick, I said them, because the number of years and bonds we had build. But 10 years down the road? I had now strong bonds with Solid Rock too. These people do care about me too as much I care about them. Especially one cell leader, she's very concerned about our well-being, often very appreciative, and very devoted to us, especially her Saturdays. Same as the other one, to decide to shepherd us instead of other one. And the members, despite age differences I think we are really very gam. So yea, difficult. Sigh. But yea it wont happen at all anyway.

Anyway after that we went Tai’s house to rest to 9am for JiaoLian’s distribution of goodies to the neighbourhood. Perfect way to start a year~! To do good deeds and bring joys to the citizens!

And so I started the year with a chapter in the bible too, Psalms 25, start of a new year, started off well, lets have another year of fun too~! And hopefully prosperous too.