Finally, 2 months is almost over.
However, the progressive recovery transition is another hurdle.
Again, the pessimist me would think that 2020 is basically over until everything resumes.

So ofcoz the latest news would be the budget release again.
Yes, in Singapore, we had Unity, Resilience, Solidarity and now Fortitude budget.
Seriously speaking, in relation to many countries worldwide,
I think we are doing super fine.
And just because election is coming, every action seems to be deemed
as a political stunt. Sigh. I have no comments on this.
And those comments about tax-payer money and all,
Historically, from Imperialism, Socialist, etc etc,
To what extend are government money belongs to us?

In my naive worldview, I choose to live in a country,
Where I get avenues of help, straightforward, I get infrastructure,
I get stability, safety, future-oriented, progress-centric, factors of this young nation.
The price to pay, is I gotta follow all the rules and regulation,
It's a package. And I dont really care how are people using my tax money
and how much they are paid etc, and all the political stunts etc,
I know that I am happy about what I have. Period.
(reference to pre-covid la ofcoz)
If you are unhappy, can you do something other than just revolting?
Apply to some position, make some changes, start a group, disrupt system,
If you cant contribute, but only have hate speech, then just get out of the country,
Leave the resources for those who have uses of them.
*not gonna debate on political views etc, im really not interested, just suit yourself*

So many of my SEP friends were disqualified for SIRS,
though not specified which criteria was not met.
My case, I wrote in for an appeal, awaiting result.
It's a mindset thing, I am not prepared to get it,
If I do, it's a bonus, it's a supplement to my plans.
I cannot rely on such things. I need to have concrete help.

Then again, with all these budget, how much of them are useful for me?
Frankly, very very minimal. Why?
From top down perspective, the mid careers are the most at risk,
they needed to be carefully care for because they are still in the workforce,
and this loss of income is like a mid-career crisis amplified.
So in short, its about Supporting Workforce, jobs in general.
Companies that have most potential to achieve retention of jobs gets priority.

Then is about helping family, especially elderly and young. Why? Vulnerable group.

So individually, its quite bullshit, in another perspective,
actually mid career have savings to fall on,
assuming non hand-to-cash workers,
and reasonable financial plannings,
the most disadvantaged are the young people that just started career
and yet without covid-friendly skills, we are stuck,
without indoor jobs certs, and no money to pursue to diversify skill.
This would also include fresh grads, they are stuck adding to the
jobs supply without jobs demand.

My case, worst, when qualification do not match jobscope,
and then try to diversify again? hopeless, will lose out even more.
The funny thing is, when I look at things at different Sociological Perspectives,
I kindda understand the Functional side of things,
and to some extent, some Conflict side of things
But doesn't mean I get the benefits,
It's like you understand how things come about but helpless eitherway.

So looking at the next months,
My most probable steps :

Disrupt my ACLP, clear Module 3 by end July.
Job hunting in July for Aug onwards,
Just a temp job to tide over until Tourism Recovery again maybe 2021.
For a week I wanted to make this 2 years count,
To find a job that : Diversify my Skillset, Career Progression in 2 years, Future-Proof
It's impossible la.
Either takes too long and too expensive to get the pre-requisite that I'm better off waiting.
Or job is not future-relevant, or no relation to my expertise, nor complement.
I do have more windows of opportunity if I compete ACLP asap,
But financially I cannot wait that long.
And I dont really like to owe people the favour.

So now until Aug, I will be applying more courses,
As long as it is within my means, financially and time wise,
Either for the cert or for the money under SEP Training Fund.
Taking on UX Design Courses, Data Analytics and Service.
And pending on Security Courses. If can afford, maybe HR,
All these are backups qualifications for a cushion to fall on.
Then gonna start applying for jobs in July,
Not gonna be choosy, take anything that open their door for me.

But if Aug cannot find job,
Then maybe do ad hocs while completing ACLP,
So by Dec at least will have a lot of windows of opportunities.

So I have been taking on these NTUC courses,
That pays $10 an hour for the lessons fro SEP Training Fund.
But it's running out, cuz Im maxing out my $500 SkillFuture Credits.
At the max, this would give me about $1200 for all the courses I attended.

But I need a more feasible plan until Tourism Recovery.
From the look at our main target market US UK,
It's not gonna be this year for Tourism,
But my wallet is not on my side.

So all these NTUC courses are generally useless for decent jobs. I needed Diploma or something in new industries if i were to venture out. But Diploma courses cost alot due to limited funding for people below 40 years old. As a cash-to-hand worker, I cant possibility afford that on these Diploma Courses. My current skillsets involve nothing that works right now in Covid situation. My whole life is about Service - Events, F&B, Tourism, Ad-Hoc. My Diploma is towards Social Work - Service. The road to recovery is looooong, and I cant be doing nothing in months to come.

I have zero interest in Financial Advisors and whatever along the line.
I have zero engineering and IT skills nor any software or hardware stuffs.
I have zero knowledge in IT or Construction field for Project Management roles.
Not interested in delivery and rider kind of jobs.
The manpower supplies in the market is saturated.
The job openings are very very limited.

To make things worst, my enrollment in the ACLP made me not eligible for many stable jobs that requires 5 days work week and all. I am unsure if I can change my enrollment type to Modular Staggered Cohort. I would probably postpone some modules if I can, to get some job first before resuming ACLP again when I'm on my way back to Tourist Guiding.

But who wants a temp? If  I shift to a perm, what am I gonna do with the remaining modules of ACLP?

Government funding such as SIRS and Study Awards, are not something I want to depend on for survival. Applied, but not optimistic. I need something more concrete, instant, and with continuity at least until Tourism Recovery. Or worst still, if I get a stable path, I might just forgo Tourism. I dont know.

When you're young, you got no money, and without income, you can only rely on Subsidies and Grants for Skills Upgrade, but all the Skills Upgrade are disadvantageous to being young, because useful course are not subsidized enough for me to afford.

It's few weeks to lift on Covid, but the gradual recovery is worrying. The future is worrying. Looking at Industry 4.0. Im honesty useless in it. No expertise in Data and Analytics, no expertise in Autonomous Bots and all, no expertise in and Additive Manufacturing, no expertise in AR VR domains nor any proficiency in programming languages, no expertise in Cyber Securities, and definitely not enough industry experiences to be in any kind of consultant / purchasing manager / simulation jobs.

As much as I am enjoying the current "work" to be paid to study and get certificates.
These are meaningless. With the free time today to think my next steps, I'm reminded again - I'm useless, at least in covid and the road to recovery.

I can go back to ad-hoc manual labour kind of jobs, provided I can postpone my ACLP. But is that my best option?

So, things turn out to be a little better this month.

For about 2 weeks I worked to tabao hawker food.
Was a hectic job because there would be 2 main waves,
12nn and 1pm, or 6pm and 7pm.
So orders would come in and you have to get ready the orders to be dispatched
by the stipulated time. Orders come in quantities of 30 - 100 orders.
Not easy at all due to the different preparation time of hawkers.
Meanwhile, there would be this phone who would ring when there's an order,
these orders should be ready in about 15 mins time for dispatch.

The problem also comes when 2 part timers coordinates.
Some only writes order number while some postal codes,
For me, I write both as well as Name.
It's hard when you dont have the item on your dashboard,
and have to find the food items for the rider to dispatch.
Worst is when all the plastics are of the same colour.
And riders arent empathetic too, time means money to them.
So yea though I was getting used to that,
I shall close that chapter of my life.

I am now enrolled to various courses in NTUC to get money.
Literally "work" as student.

How it works :
- For every hour of lesson, we can claim $10 from SEP Training Fund
- Course fees can utilize Skill Future Credits
- Advance Utilization of our Oct Credits is Eligible

Eg :

Course : WSQ ABC
$50.00 // 16 hours
So use Skill Future Credit to pay $50
After completion, claim $10 x 16 hours = $160 from SEP Training Fund

So by cramping myself,
I get free certificates, and being paid to study, why not?
But virtual lessons are a pain-in-the-ass.
Pace is super slow due to virtual environment,
Alot of effort to concentrate because more attention needed.
Things are worst when it comes to Adult Learners.
I am okay when there are newbies, and slow learners,
Though the pre-requisites are supposed to have certain competency levels,
But the irritating ones are the demanding learners.
Demand to get the easy way out or to get what they felt they are entitled to.
Example, they want a recorded lesson for reference but
Would be against school policy.
Walao write notes yourself very hard ah.

So yea now its a bit better, for I am earning to study,
and most of the modules though tedious its easy for my level,
and free time between classes or during classes I can do some
Own readings since i have to be in front of the camera.
So it forces me to be slightly more productivity with this webcam function.

So, it's almost the end of the first month of Circuit Breaker.
I'm finally better. Not because I adapted to this though.
So there comes a time when my mother annoyed me so but I threw a
HUGE tantrum, and it was for a very very trivial thing.
That was when I thought damn this CB shit is taking a toll on me.
The hopelessness, the coop up angry bird,
the loneliness, the rage.

So yes while I am still glad about government support,
This and that, BUT financially and functionally,
I wasnt getting much yet, in fact till date,
I have only received the Temporary Relief Fund.

You see, as a Tourist Guide, I am jobless now.
At the start of Covid, I thought that it would be affected,
thus I went to do part time at a brewery.
Meanwhile, I signed up for ACLP,
Thinking it is great time to part time study, part time work.
Then comes entertainment suspension,
I still get 2 or 3 hour slots, enough for daily meals,
and then comes Circuit Breaker.
Im then jobless.

Due to my involvement with Brewery and all,
The SIRS payment is not applicable to be back then.
And then I am not considered Self-Employed just due to part time,
So I cannot tap into the Training Fund,
My goodness sake dont tell people good news when there are fine prints,
To make accessibility so damn hard, might as well I prepared for no help at all.
I felt super betrayed.
I forsee a problem with my livelihood,
Time and again I tried to alleviate the situation.
Time and again I hit the wall.
But then there are tons of people out there,
Sitting their ass whole day doing nothing,
Just wailing and complaining,
But now they receive all these Grants and Support so seamlessly.
Now I'm appealing for most of these again,
Hopefully SIRS will be open for me at the very least.
I have gotten the Letter of Eligibility from E2I,
But then I realize most of the course are out of reach because CB,
And the ACLP I am on now its "too late" to apply. WHAT?!?!?!?!
Sigh, appealing again, but Im so prepared of the worst la.

So, the situation now is that I can't get a good temp job because of my ACLP course,
I have random days of the week dedicated for that sessions,
So most of the jobs are out of reach for me because :
- Travel to the west for a few hours of work
- Require full commitment without non flexible off days for my course
- Long contract that I cant commit to it
- Some technical skills required I dont have
- Too popular of a job that I didnt get any reply

So eventually, now I'm q-ing up for food in hawker,
for 2 waves of orders, dispatch to riders,
and thats it. It's again just enough to cover my meals,
So financially its shit job,
But then the latent benefit it brought me was sooooo much.

I got an excuse to go out in the sun again,
I dont have to walk at night to get fresh air,
I talked to the vendors, got some hope here and there,
I am being more optimistic about things,
I can get my lunch without q-ing!
I am eating relatively healthy again,
My mood improved!

Yes by optimistic, I saw a few changes in lifestyle out there,
There are actually hawker vendors that are glad we continued deliveries,
That theres this app to continue business,
Some people are super happy when Macs and BBT were closed because they got more business,
Some neighborhood stall enjoyed being in the limelight now that
the CBD is empty, and they can still get gov support and pay off their rent.

Yea, so being out there gets me going.
Social media is toxic.
People criticizing for everything and anything,
To the point even Singing and Clapping seems like a crime.
It was such a great initiative,
Where people feel connected through this organised act,
Be it to show appreciation or to kill time,
It's something for the entire nation to do,
I really dont see the need of dissing the effort.
Starting to be annoyed as SGAG cuz of the lady keep shouting.
Sighhhh the world needs more empathy, more care,
Not insults and sneers.

Elderly exercising alone inside cordoned area,
How deadly and the freaking spread be?
An activity for him/her to kill time right,
say nicely la, no need virtual-shaming,
some person after exercise panting sitting down without mask,
give him/her a break la, how to breath with that shit?
People queue for ikea, people are observing 1m and all these precaution,
People may not think upgrading their home furniture was necessary because
They were most of the time OUT, now need to spend 2 months IN,
They rush to buy, Understand them la.
People rushing to buy Macs and BBT,
Hahahahs this one I got nothing to say,
they say Hungry people are Angry people.
Every "last" meal is gonna be like this what,
but again measures are still observed, they havent lost their minds,
don't you forsee? blaming these "covidiots" are such a Privileged, Myopic and Apathetic act.

Oh well, I'm only alone, with my unpopular views, ciao.