Thursday, after celebration, I went to help pop camp, didn’t know why I decided to do so! Its like suicide for me since I had little sleep time this week already! Anyway despite hearing complains and news about how out of hand KY’s group is, when I observed, they are normal naughty kids, rather I believe strongly it was the lack in team leaders cooperation.

When handling kids, we have to work on our facial expression, look calm when in trouble, to act as if everything is fine and under control. Both of them looks like the world collapse everytime there are small problems. Furthermore, the experienced one often mia, leaving the inexperienced to handle the rest, and being taught to be strict and firm yet his natural charm made him popular, it was really tough to take on several roles.

Then, perhaps this was all destined to happen, as I left at 5pm for 2h to do my school work, he snapped, and it seemed like a big issue. Perhaps someone up there really wanted him to try on.

As the performances was on going, we then found Child A, which was bonded close with KY, crying at the back, he felt betrayed on the absence of KY’s sight when he woke up, and assumed he went home without telling him. So as we found him, he was devastated, angry, exhausted of the crying. Ofcoz, KY thought he would be with his original group, thus was minding his own chaotic group. I saw his face filled with guilt and resentment that everything happened “under his hand”, he felt lousy. So I suggested he carry him onto the steps at the back, on his lap, hug him close. Not knowing what was best, he knelt down and hugged him. At instance I was really really touched. I rarely see such a dedicated leader for his team. Since I observed, he tended to the group’s need wholeheartedly and non hesitantly.

Then it was night hunt, it was really fun, I must say they did a superb job in planning and with the creativity to come out with the scenario. Then there are movies, and then my sleepless night. This was when I was shocked at myself. Since child A was beside me, whenever he seemed to be having nightmare or that sort, twitching or moaning, I would tap his chest or shoulder with decreasing frequency, sort of calm him down, and assured comfort and protection. Yet, as I heard a child coughing badly at the other side of room, I wanted to give him water, but I actually lie back down on the bed on the thought that my bottle was on the other side of the room! See how selfish I was! And how lazy I was! But after that epiphany, someone came over and helped him already, and so I was really ashamed of myself. Anyway, for child’s A, I saw the urgency and that kanchiongness in KY towards him. I smiled. Its really a great sight to see, a rather touching one, for their bonds.

So my observation led me thinking he’s a great young leader, potential servant leadership, a strong teen that carried on persevering everytime after he snapped, thus he didn’t just back down and leave the “rotten stall”. But I think he’s a little too perfectionist, he takes on issues too personally, carrying everyone’s burden on himself. Thus Pastor Jacq should be right, he was pressurized to perform, under seeing the other good leaders that could manage their group well. Being inexperienced, he’s unable to see whole picture, he tend to focus on the “lost sheep” without settling the herd, thus his reactions everytime someone deviated away made the herd feel lost, and that as the children see his hopeless expression, they might not be able to find assurance of a capable leader of them.

So KY tend to be stressed, and a huge factor of them is self implied. Other factors are that being new, he’s always pointed at by the other leaders, though not really being scolded, but being told what he should do and what he did wrongly, he must felt really lousy. Actually, handling kids will never have a model absolute answer, thus it’s really up to the cooperation, which is lacking. He was too strict in discipline, giving himself more stress only, under the misconception that strict is good, and he isn’t strict enough (though in my eyes I will never be strict to that extend) and thus he felt everything is due to his incapability, which isn’t true.

Performance wise, he is really good, perhaps even better than myself, but he was exhausted too fast, and that night he was on verge of getting fever, he’s people-oriented, so energy run out fast, which made his expression dull, that dispirited the team too, but everything was actually alright and in control. Whatever problems he was facing was common to the other groups as well, yet he doesn’t see that. As such, I do feel unfair for him to be 'scolded' by the other leaders of what to do, but then again, perhaps there's a reason for him to go through all these? Hopefully he will remain strong. One thing for sure though, he should be well eyed on by people, at least among the syrens and the "Pastor's circle" we all have seen and admired his great dedication and determination. Sad I couldnt see throughout the other days, but actually if fate wants him to go through hell, these might not happen if i was there, so in a way, lucky im not there. Haha. So... yea, proud, really proud, really great, to be able to know and see this boy.

So this camp killed me, but had given me a breath of life as well. I left at 6am for home, to regenerate for today’s movie and the rest of the day with Jorgen.