"Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely person."

A quote I came across in fb, really touched deep into me, used to think that way. Few people had told me too, that though my social circle is big, my connections are plenty, yet I am actually lonely, I dont really have much that I can depend fully on, and not much commitment to the rest to keep building the friendship. Even to a few that had accompanied me for such long years, it's really hard to keep in touch and chill. Somehow, there will always be awkward moments, quiet moments, just to wait for a right topic to strike and etc, and often a few topics will repeat and another few will circulate, means the topic will be repeated to different groups of people, "spoiled radio".

My life had been heavy involved in volunteerism, and I dont really have a choice, to the extent that I was just talking to Johann, if I were to stop them, I have no life. I dont mingle with majority of people that are of my age well, since I'm a rather 'old' guy. I cant stay home whole day too, as in a few days in a row this way, I'll rot and die. Most people dont mind, not bothered by it, I cant. Its these that kept me going, kept me strong, kept me positive-thinking. Alone, thats where my thoughts would drift, and would turn pessimist, would thinking things like what would it be if I werent around, would things be better off? Would the world be a better place? So on.... and then I'll drift into purpose, which eventually my answer would be the same, then into existence, which the conclusion would still be unanswered.

If my life was an equation:

Life = personality + achievements + social circle + activities + goals + control.

And if we get another equation for volunteerism:

Volunteerism = personality + achievements + social circle + activities + goals + control.

We can see that:
Life = Volunteerism

Because with these I shape my personality die to the different people Ive met and reality Ive seen, such that I have activities to do that would land me into achievements, which is met after ive set my goals, and thus I met more people more friends more diversity, and thus I have self discipline over my actions and image. Sort of sociology at work, but not quite.

So I would response to the quote above, that lonely isnt necessarily a bad thing, some people are just meant to be like the Terminator, come for a purpose, finish a mission, then "I'll be back" (when deployed for another mission)

Anyway, so far been really glad to meet appreciative and nice customers in MindCafe, and awesome kitchen and supervisor, Marco and Rose. Superman and Superwoman, able to withstand pressure and loads, yet continue to be mentoring and optimistic. Awesomely awesome.

Sad thing is a friend of mine didnt get a job, when I believe he's in need of a job, yet some people that couldnt really do much help stayed on, but yea who am I to judge, though I do remember that no cellphone during work..... it was this that got ___ into trouble too today. (Might be sensitive thus not gonna disclose online)

Perhaps for Nov, I might propose to Rose to let me organize a team to work fri opening to close, that we will take turn for shifts, breaks, etc, just give us the salary accordingly, like treat is as 2 person, 11am-1am, so we ensure 2 person min to be working, the rest could take a break, change shift, anything we want, thus in busy times we can all help out each other, so its a team effort kindda thing, and since I'll trust all of them cashiering and etc will be easier to handle. Because the last few times we have cases of big amount of money short. I dont think its a matter of giving wrong change, cuz cant be so much, it's either the cashier machine got problem or our staffs got problem.

Alright, sleepy now, good night, sweet dreams, ciao.