捧着一颗心来，不带半根草去

"Selfless"

That was my answer for the scholarship interview as Terence asked me what is the key quality of a tsao scholar.

Really, it is the effort and time you devoted that would touch people life, that would make a difference, that would make the world a better place. Just as many have done so in me, I would do likewise to many more. Though a great weakness in me is that I jump into commitments and get stuck too quickly. Oh well at least I'm having fun.

Yet, in my opinion, this only applicable to ordinary people like you and me. Mainly because the effort and time devoted are all genuine and passionate, whereas those in the high profile would do those for their own benefit, that they had weigh the cost benefit or all those things and came up with the conclusion that by doing such 'kind acts' they will benefit more. There was this book I was reading "Three Cups of Deceit", which recounted and cross referenced with many sources how some high profile philanthropist had been heavily involved in frauds, misusing donation funds, and crafting lots of fake recounts and lies.

It has been another busy weekend. Sat was at church, then went for waterfire event at reservoir, sun we filmed a promo vid for bedok wushu, then helped at Grandmaster's Commemoration Event. It's really cool to see so many masters gathering to honour our late Grandmaster Chen Yu He. It's like concentrated with so many masters of the martial arts realm, which had made me feel so honoured to perform on that stage, where chinese traditional culture re-affirmed our roots as chinese.

On monday, I went borders to grab some awesome deals. Bought 7 books, combined with a stranger, who should be very happy since she was going to pay around 20 for those 3, and now she could owned them with 7 and a half bucks. But seriously lorh I knew my books were stolen, since I knew I had chosen 9, one of them was "freedom", perfect condition, still sealed in plastic. Walao books also steal... -_-"

Interview went fine I guess, borrowed shirt from Johann, pants from Bowei, belt from Dad, haha sounds pathetic, oh well. Well price of being frank and honest, is a spot closed for the scholarship. When asked what difference would it be if I didnt get this scholarship, I answered immediately, that life goes on, I would do what I do, trying my best to make a difference to as much people as possible. I should have just answered: I hoped to get the scholarship so as to devote more effort and received more motivation to contribute back to the society, singapore, as I am but a product of the kindness this nation had offered me, with much graciousness. Oh well, perhaps the interviewers are Terence and Julia thus I was more frank and more of 'myself' instead of the 'ideal self' haha, geron theory at work again =D

Spoke with an adult friend of mine, strangely enough she shared with me lots of her personal sensitive problems, really great to see people appreciating my companion and trusted me, opened up to me, and share their worries, thoughts, problems and asked for my opinions. She definitely changed alot ever since certain thing happened and after that, she found a catalyst to re-ignite the dimmed candle of hope. Many awesome women I encountered in my life, to raise her daughter so well and rather matured. Good parenting, depart values in her, patient, and gives appropriate freedom, and happiness which she often lacked due to her work life and her school life. At least I think she had found someone to fill in the gap, like the ink in a conventional pen. Well I guess many times, the candle must be melted so that the wax could keep the candle upright. The candle, a symbolism of motivation in life.

It's midnight now, with prevailing winds, raged windows, disturbed curtains, and a gust of hot air left trapped in my house, funny to yearn for rainy weather to cool the air, yet shut the wind and rain out and left the hot air remain inside among us. Paradox of human.