totally not a good day these few days. the only thing worthy to feel happy is i got 11/12 for a seq that i screwed up the exact terms. so total got 17/25, furthermore CA marks will count ONLY this test. wootz my lit isnt as expected because the 2nd question pulled me down a lot, 10/25, whereas first question got 15/25. Sad, but oh well i did well for humans at least, im glad. will focus on chi and maths after march.

pissed by the first sentence ms soon said to me 'you sing!', what the fuck i swear i had stopped singing out loud and continuously in class, i had slowly disassociated with the class yet im pulled out as one of the handful of 'trouble-maker', seriously pissed, no matter how trivia is the matter, whoever knew me should know that i had quarreled and pointed middle finger at teachers for accusing me of wrong reasons even though they are good teachers. though understands and pity them, i still give priority for fairness in the top of the list. anyway she was lecturing about leaders in class must help chairman to discipline the class. lol totally not for me, i had gave up ever since 1D said i did NOTHING when i actually did alot for the class. So from then on i had decided to push 'responsibility as a leader' all the way to bottom of the list. and ofcoz randy had to add salt more to say we're noisy, knn...

yesterday too, so pissed with albs when i tried to help in his compo and he got distracted just after a SECOND !!! he would look away and engage in all sorts of thing then didnt catch a single word i said,  hopeless being lol

sigh, still the same question, what in the fucking problem of singing?! one of these days i must go ktv again to vent my anger, probably swimming pool too in search of the absolute peace venue. seriously larh, i felt my heart gonna force its way out of its position, to bend and crush my ribcage, tear open my skin, and scream its blood out, and then dehydrate until motionless, no more pump, no more live, no more me.... something like the pink floyde the wall cover above this post... 

the worst and most unbearable part is... not a single teardrop could flow out....

Reedited a really old work:

The splendid sunset will soon be gone,
As I listened to the smooth tone alone,
I shouted, “Goodbye sun, see you tomorrow!”
I shouted it with sigh and sorrow,

The breeze is blowing cold and slowly,
So I watched the sky evolving closely,

There are elks by the lake,
It was very cold but they seemed to not shake,
When I returned to see the sky, it was already dark,
Oh, no! it was pitch dark that I couldn’t see the ark,
So then I went back in the foothills of the land,
Still, I could see everything, yes, I can,
All except what is in plan.
 
Life is sorrow, life is pain,
Some say heaven is waiting at the end,
Yet where and what is heaven?  
I no longer yearn to know,
‘Cause there might just be layers of cold winter snow......