Sat, the seemingly "boring" bible study has a new light. There was deeper issues than I thought. Mark 14 was about Judas Betrayal. Then, the topic went to whether it is pre-destined, and whether he was at fault. So the notion of satan entered into him could be figurative or literal, figurative in a sense that he allowed sin into his life. Jesus perhaps already know about the betrayal due to the prophesy, so deliberately chose this "black sheep" into his twelve. This proves that he is in control of time because he knew all that was gonna happened. So did he live only to fulfill this purpose? Perhaps no, he do have a choice to not allow sin into his life, perhaps if so, Jesus would picked another?

Then the issue came to the point where Jesus allowed Judas to sit with him and feast, which meant that Judas meant alot for Jesus, but though he knows he will betray him, he still gave him a sort of final choice, to repent, though he might already know its in vain. This kindda showed that even Jesus had this "pity" feeling, that his disciple would betray him after everything he had done. It's like the greatest grace ever. Here, the Youth Church was playing the song, Amazing Grace. So coincidental~!!! 

"Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me."

Sigh. So linnet casually posted a question, how good of a friend are we. I really dont know. With all the "rashness" in making close friends, I often think Im too emotional, to be easily closed with anyone, compared to sec sch. And yes alot of people come and go like CH and WD, and some I thought we could last long but didnt. =( 

Ive heard of stories where person A updates every single actions, quarrels, thoughts and feeling to person B even if it regards to the gf. Ive heard stories of people sharing all the problems and successes and go through together. Even the recent drama, Game Plan, the brothers reconciled, with the younger one tying the shoelace of the other just like how he did in his younger days. Really very touching. I wonder what are some of the things my current circle of friends would remember till their adult days. 

But anyway, really proud and happy to see someone with me, learning alot from me, and I gave him lots of life too. He remembered all the chinese phrases I used to spam him, 船到桥头自然直，天无绝人之路，飞机精华在于降落，etc etc, and I heard he often tell others what I told him. Really really glad. I mean, 18 years, I finally have one "disciple". Touched. Its really funny how people meet each other, I remember how I casually tell him about CCA stuffs, and about the wushu culture, and then asked whether he is serious about cell, and till date he is one of the few that really took the teachings seriously and many times when we talked he could even use verses to support his statements. Really cool. Again, dont wish to lose him, but then again, it is again a rushed friendship, and might be the same as all others, just close of a period, and distant again. Sigh.  

Then the next issue is what to do after witnessing how Jesus already know us better than we know ourselves. Judas chose to suicide after shocked that the prophesy was real and remorse  Peter on the other hand, went through the shame that he thought he wouldnt have, but became an important piece for His ministry. So is the suicide pre-destined too? I believe there must be some that are free will, and a infrastructure that might be predestined but might alter due to societal influence. Anyway, yea, its about picking up yourselves and giving yourselves another chance. 

Anyway, Fri BBQ turns out fine. I asked the girls to plan for games activity which they failed, I even took care of the food in hope there would be ice break. But then we just gotta simply push Jorgen into the pool and few of us to get wet and the fun kept rolling. The nice part is that the 94s just gotta make atmosphere and then have our nice catching up time at one corner. They told me a few things that I thought about it seriously and shall only reveal long time later.

But this had a big toll on me, there are ppl who are unhappy of the fee, I guess I might need to fork out a huge sum of money. Then today I left 20 from 75, I mean like OMG its too much. I shall not plan, organised or fork out anymore events already. I thought about it, the money I spend on people is too much, like easily 100 for people around me accumulated through the year, exclude presents and gifts and events, but expenses. I shall try to be a stingy guy for this sem and experiment how it would go.

And I gotta find a job soon cuz seriously parents are running out of money and jobless, I gotta produce results in these 5 years.

Oh btw I am reallllyyy realllly happppppiiiieeeee that Jorgen wore my full set I gave him, shirt, pants, shoes, when he waved I totally couldnt recognise him!!! He is sooooooo shhhuuuuaaaaiiiiii~!!!!! So happie I chose an awesome gift and he dont mind wearing it~!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooo hooooooo~~~~~~~!!!!!!!