Must life be so complicated?

Lots of theories and wisdom? And all the guides to life?

Doesnt that tire yourself out if you cant reach your expectations?

Today, got a friend angry as I dont have a sms habit, so I am not sensitive to sms vibrations, or tend to forget to reply when busy, or when I am with other people. 

Felt really bad, cuz I always assumed she is someone that can accept cliff hangers and continue conversation few days later and all, some kind of penpal, but now I see she has been suppressing that anger. 

So then as I helped a friend on her compo, I started thinking....

Some things is really the personality, genes, my parents never knew about social etiquette too, my mum often makes situation awkward and her "kiasu-ness" attitude, my dad never fails to offend all his bosses, so as much as I am quite a social butterfly, can never reli establish long term relationship (in terms of friendship).

Then, I look into myself, and find what is wrong? I find im so out of place.

For example, the taste of clothes, was shopping with friends, they commented my taste are not fashionable.
Another example, conversation topics, my topics dont usually fit with people my age.

So........ yea actually many times I seriously would like to explain myself, but dont ever have chances to do so. I screw up most of the things in life. I have no idea what to do in my life in the future. I have no interest in anything everything yet at the same time I enjoy whatever things that comes to me for the moment.

Sometimes I wonder, is there really a place that could fit me?
Is my life turning into a hermit like some ppl around me,
what's wrong being hermits they are surviving well, if not, better
what is my purpose?
Individualism or Social Pariah?
What is acceptable individualism what is not?
What is happiness.........?

Ofcoz, those few times I was extremely touched by those ppl who msged me. Really really grateful for that, but as my friend said, I have too high of an expectation of things, almost idealism, surrealism, that I actuallly closes the opportunity to have one. Then again, there is this guy who Im really proud of his life change and all, and his growth in many aspects. Yet again, academically, how I hope I could give my brains to him, in fact, I think I should just surrender my brains to some other random person, he/she will probably utilize it better than me, Im just wasting Earth's oxygen just for the brain of mine? 

There will come a time
Where you will need your friends tonight
And there will come a time
Where you will need someone tonight

And when it feels like everyone's turning their backs on you
Oh when the sun's not out but you know you got to see it through

One day everything will be fine...... but not tonight........