Sometimes I wonder how anyone could feel self sufficient without socializing, but even in socializing there may not exist real genuine companionship, perhaps some people settle on a relationship for companionship, for at least they know the effort and time put in would not be of waste, but then in love things get complicated too.

Our need of affection is so strong, there is a fine line between selfish love and love. 

On one hand, I think most of us would desire a special person to be always on our side, always reaching out to us, always living our own world, but that desire us selfish, that's being short sighted and narrowed vision.

Maybe then, what I really desire is a purpose, a purpose to get out of bed each morning, to do something useful to someone worthy, purpose to life, or perhaps finding purpose in a life? 

Saw a cute elderly couple, both sitting at the top deck of an otherwise empty bus, side by side, hands on the seat in front, smiling. That radiance brighter than the sun out the window. Could I even have a life like that? Someone to walk through life like that, living on love. 

There is nothing new in the world, some live for the fortune, some for fame, for material goods, some to work for the slaves of financial debt, some for responsibility, but all these are meaningless, meaningless without a purpose. 

May I find one...... 

If I were to have children, I shall let them aim high from young, and to challenge them to beat a nation record in any field by the time they turn 30, to achieve half if that by 21. At least then, they would not waste their time like me.....