Today slacked at BBT shop, joked and had fun before going for tutorial for 2h.

Slept at WC house haha, then went for pasar malam at toa payoh since Im returning lib books.

These days started to watch the new drama, Yours Fatefully, I think there are some nice theme that the drama brings out. One of them is night blindness, filial piety (living with parents despite having family), culture, and paranoid behaviors perhaps. Other than that, the mainstream theme is the romance as I discussed in previous post. Hmm, just now in the morning I had a funny thought, that I shall set today's dinner for "the one", but in the end I ate alone. Hmmm. Sigh. 

Watched Jump by channel U, sort of a remake of Let It Shine, but I think Let It Shine is better. This remake is rather boring and amateur. Perhaps the only interesting part is the skipping, which got my interest to play =D 

Oh right, this June gonna be a busy month, planning for so much Pop Excel outings, jobs, voluntary work, and SCC. =D 

The brain is the most complex study one can ever embark on, sometimes Im really so so curious what are people thinking. 

Once I was talking with someone, thats when I heard that I had been placed under the impression that Im more distant to Wushu and more towards my other activities. Well, I agree n disagree. Agree, because yes Im trying to pursue the maximum happiness I could get. Disagree because by the portion, I do think they took the largest piece of the pie, just that I have many events and activities that they placed under "others". By further differentiating it, it should be consist of many many groups and subgroups.

But as I shared, my level of happiness decreases there, as I found the bond breaking, though I do feel really proud and overwhelmed of the revival. I do treasure bonds, but sometimes rashness would make me defend the new ones on the expense of old ones, until people stopped it. there was a few occasions that I upfront argued in favour of trainee to the trainer. Yet, sometimes, is like I cant really connect to them anymore? Or maybe it was just me, I find that my topics are typical turn offs in he social world. I do regret at alot of times, why wasnt I a gamer, to relate to people, to start the topic, to create the spark? Then why was I so "oldies"? Why am I so "cold and apathetic"? Can I be "normal" again, to really be shaken and excited by every single common trivial things? Im also often misunderstood, as someone advised, perhaps, we should ask ourselves, "why did I give such a negative image to others?". 

Well, connection is important. I do realize Im not the only one that has many vibrancy and dynamics in life, yet the moment the clock strikes 12, alone, at home, or sometimes anywhere else, we feel really lonely and empty, distant, and aloof from the world. It was as if something was missing. Sec 1, I felt as if there was a beast in me, caged, subdued. Now, it felt that there was a hole, a missing piece, and I suspect perhaps bgr has a relationship with it. 

No matter what, most importantly, I really fear that 10 20 years down the road, these people would just disappear, vanish, and the memories, dissolve into thin air, gone by the wind, weighted down into the abyss. One of the most saddening and scary song, All By Myself by Eric Carmen

Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

With that, I do sms and encourage sec sch friends too, esp those that has better memories than I do, of the times we have spent together. I really have a lousy memory. I could forget passwords, and secrets,  other ppl personal stuffs that they shared and important yet I dont remember, and even memories, that needed so much hints to clear the dust and piece the faded puzzle back again. Thus, photographs and archives are really important to me. How I wish Harry Potter do exist, we can really "store" our memories.