Day 4, and I not coping well.

For a social animal like me, I really cant see locked down at home doing absolutely nothing.
To make things worst, parents, yes parents, their form of "care and concern" means to
Dictate your every move, every diet, every decision, no matter how old you are.
It's one thing enduring it a few hours a day, and spend most of my time outside,
But when you are 24h with them.............. oh my............
Simple things, eat noodles, say why eat noodles must eat rice,
Eat veg, say why so little, must eat more,
Eat meat, must cut down, etc etc.........
Go down to get a Kopi Peng, why never wear mask, high risk,
Oh my God....................................................

At this point, their Care and Concern becomes an annoyance,
Maybe im that Weakest Link youth,
But I seriously see them panicking even more and more each day.
As entitled and privilege as it sounds,
Having the liberty, having the power,
to choose, to indulge, in midst of pandemic, is a blessing,
but its toll is the deteriorating mental state.
My mental health is degrading too,
With all these constant comments of every step I take,
and the 4 walls environment, and noise from everywhere else.........
How long can I take it?
I'm not a virtual guy,
I hated online lessons,
I hated zoom and whatever social meeting methods,
I am an old school miser still prefer
to meet through a coffee or meal.
I want to walk, walk every inch of the city,
See the changes, the interactions, and everything....

Sigh......

But "my" life is never just about me,
It's a collective effort of so many hopes, dreams
and hardwork of everyone around me.
Some times, just thinking,
if I could end all of theirs and end mine,
Then there's no more "debts" to pay,
And I bring all the burdens upon myself in hell.......