Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little 
Can barely stand on my feet (Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry) Lord what you're doing to me (yeah yeah) I have spent all my years in believing you But I just can't get no relief, Lord! Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody) Can anybody find me somebody to love ? 

Yesterday I met with a great friend of mine. He helped me greatly during O levels, and even in my poly years. I had never walked away from him learning nothing new. So he commented I was awesome. That moment, I was really in cloud nine.

Anyway today, it was my off day, so as usual I called up a few friends for a feast. Then now I thought back, sometimes, seriously, why do I always have this mindset to always spend unnecessary. Maybe a part of me wouldn't mind to literally "buy" a companion for a day. But to think of it, chocolates, $110 worth of chocolates for people who I either dont mean often, or probably wont see me through another 10 years, is it worth it? I mean part of the reason was that I like to have huge feasts, cuz I seldom have that, and part of it was because I want to taste as many types of gourmet as possible. 

But come to think of it, I do enjoy sitting at a bar with a live band playing some good tunes, or just some peace by the beach, or stare at the stars at rooftops. Then, it became rather irritating with the label "gay", like I know at times I may be particular about things such as cleanliness of table, or that my language of love as touch dominance, but then seriously, is it that bad? What if I am really one? What stereotypes were actually false? How would a real one behave? How different would their lifestyle be? Gays are socially constructed, may I should really find out more about this "culture".... Hmm... curious.... 

The reason why Im not into romance, is that I really find all those lame and meaningless, what is marriage more than compatibility, willingness to walk down the path of life, and for continuity? A part of life, which some may not even take it. I mean if I had to deal with the stress of raising a good kid, might as well adopt and nurture one than to take the risk of creating one bad kid right. All the romance and theories and act, it's jsut a matter of emotions that drives the world, and choices, sacrifices, and time, you just gotta juggle your time well, and when u cant, just sacrifice some thoughts to do some great acts and ta-da hollywood romance. 

I dont have a charming look, neither I have much talents in anything, and rather lazy, and dont seem to get along with ppl well, and most ppl I close with lasts a year before I or they simply moved on, all in all P.J is still right, Im just that happy time guy, I find that Im easy moved and touched by simple acts of kindness for me, what if they are pretentious? Am I that naive? Seriously, I am sick of tired of chasing for some long lasting friendship or relationship, I rather have children that I could teach and nurture, at least more worth it, but then again as they grow up we will just be rather distant again. Human relationship is just so absurd, pointless, ridiculous. Perhaps Gulliver is a wise man, being a misanthrope.

In God we trust, in human we distant......... hahas words of a misanthrope......