What a day! Woke up at 5am to prepare for morning job. Then, during the job, I suddenly had this idea to sell one product of food. Since we need alot of work and capital if we were to open a brand new shop, plus the credibility, traffic and "sign". Thus, we can always sell products to existing famous stalls to improve their popularity? Why didnt I thought of that?

Anyway, so then since Samy was really sick, we cancelled our meeting. Hope he get well soon! It's good that we didnt meet too so I could rest at home, watching TV, eating lunch, and then biked to CL competition. 

I felt really sorry for him. He put in so much effort in wushu, practiced so much, so much hardships, so much training  yet he didnt get a result that he was satisfied. He was very scared, terrified I could say, and extremely disappointed, depressed, he really didnt want anyone to see his performance. So although JL should see it to critic and improve, I made a firm decision not to reveal it at all. I promised him not to. Some other person broke his promise and showed sx, I felt really terrible. It's really a matter of principle. Just because he is still rather young, and "easy to bully or tease", doesnt mean his dignity and words are to be taken lightly. I really think it was overboard. My trust had dropped to half. I think it's belittling to exhibit a person's ineptness in a burlesque manner, especially when he had the trust in him.

Well, coincidentally I was playing "What Are Words" on the Piano before going for the competition. This is why I was firm, I guess it was a warning? A foreshadow? But then now I feel worst, as I think I had said alot of stuffs to some people close to me, even though I dont mention names, when I share my problems or getting comments and viewpoints, they could guess who the person I was referring to. In a way, I was not keeping my promises too. Dang I felt really bad right now. Seriously, what are words if we dont really mean when we say them? Emptiness. Gone in the wind. We are so easily manipulated to talk out the problems and from their all the mists could be breezed away fast. Then, this is indirectly breaking promises too. This also meant we are weak, so weak that we need someone to vent the problems to, to direct the "burden" away. We are weak! We cant fight it on our own!

That's life actually, we like to focus on weakness, we find faults easily, we rank people, we label losers, we compare. Competition seems all so meaningless, who are we competing against? What is Martial Art?  What is the value in it? What makes a man? Why learn Martial Art? Seems like I have gotten to the stage, where I start to question back the origins, the very reason why I do the things I do, that feeling, that mentality, that moment. Or perhaps I merely took a break from this stage of life by occupying myself to distract myself from thinking, and now with time in my hands I started to think again. I think society will be alright if everyone is busy, cuz when we got nothing to do, we really really really think alot.