Today I had the most interesting talk with the most interesting mother, Auntie Ah Hiang. Unlike most mothers, she is one who really protects her children, in a sense she do not want them to be in top 10 academically. Her reason was that she do not like troubles and problems. Thus, she would not want her children to have problems in coping with failure. She wanted them to be ordinary so that they would not need to stress over maintaining the position, but most importantly surpassing oneself. She never exposed how great was her children, she merely, humbly said: as long they passed. They were smart, but had to sometimes act dumb, 难得糊涂. However eventually they indeed gave gratitude to her as they expand their horizons - to see many people struggling to be 'sane'. 物极必反, too much of a thing would cause a backfire. This is why some poeple meditates, to keep their mind empty, to give their brains a rest, to focus on lesser stuffs, since subconsciously we had been multi-tasting too much. She also shared how she witness students shivering for no reason and eventually had to let him take a year break from studies to regain 'sane'ness. He totally blanked out for a year. I've seen one in real life too but not gonna disclose it here.

Speaking of this I remembered the feeling as I stepped into 3A, the moment the frog finally met the filthy creature that destroyed his bliss (ignorance). I was toally not used to mugging, and my life turned rather 180 compared to sec 2. Parents arent as supportive, conflicts at home got more intended due to teacher's complains, I could not handle the idea of being at the bottom even though it was actually a bottomless pit, and eventually thinks that life will find a way and started to hate education and school. I indeed was 自暴自弃-ing.

Though yes it is true that life will find a way, Auntie Ah Hiang's husband drove taxi for their children to complete universities and masters, all through their own choices instead of forced. I think they are indeed an awesome, extraordinary family.

As Jacky Wu ever said, we youngsters are like planes, we can fly and soar as high as we want, but the vital factor is whether we can land back safely and willingly. Be contented that we have experienced our peak, that we had gone far enough to realize how far we can go.

Speaking of this I remember Francis got a blog post on icarus - most commonly seen as an over-ambitious, stubborn adolescent but why not someone who has made a decision that's the last day he's gonna live? that he wants to fly high, high, high and never fly again?

I replied he is someone who had decided not to be a fugitive/slave/escapist of life on earth and lived his life to the fullest =)