Red on my knuckles, dry on my throat. 

No worries, I simple vent them on the wall.

Sigh, was really tired, tried to have a good sleep in the sofa, wants to go for a good beer but decided to come home for the home cooked dinner.

Who knows, as I wake up, quarreled with parents till now.

Today is just not my day. 

Morning late for bus stop, luckily a friend was soooo great that he wrote down EVERY SINGLE DAMN BUS until I wake up........ gosh soososoososososooooo grateful!!

Then, cab to work, in the end jam till $22.

Sigh........

Anyway, yea, low on cash these days, then mum came demanding explanations for my expenditures. Well, on my part, I seriously couldnt feel it every time as I eat it cost up to 20-30, that amount seemed so small until it snowballed into hundreds of dollars.

But then, she kept lamenting about me treating people around me. I know I owe them for a living, but then again, I have kept to my means. I spent within my budget, I no longer need to ask for their money other than the 200 they gave for simple meals, phone and transportation.

In my point of view, what is a dollar saved today when it would depreciate in the near future, rather to spend it on people around me, who mostly had not enjoyed gourmet food or been to places in singapore. Why to cling on a fading dollar when you can make a little difference to a person's life, that could widen their horizon for greater understanding of the world around them.

It really makes a great difference. Before my financial freedom from part time work, I have been a frog in a well in Singapore. There are so many places I have never been to, so many food I have never tried. Being in a well can really be depressing, you start looking at the world so small so lifeless, and you start being pessimist, starting to find a bleak world out there, starting to feel that the dark cloud above the well is the only bleak outlook of life, failed to see that somewhere, there can still be light.

My principle of life is to share the world I live in. I understand the struggles to live, especially with money. Why keep thinking that money can solve everything? Why kept thinking that money is the essential essence of life? Why kept thinking about "what if fall sick need go hospital"? Why kept thinking money spent is money wasted? It's so depressing to see how money had been a center of your life. 

I mean, as young as I am, as spoilt as I am, I spent within my means, still living fine, I guess that is good enough. I understand the burden of 8 mouths to feed in my future, but that is future, why let the future deprive me of a great teenhood. I have no great talents nor rich friends that might be of use in the future, but there is a reason it is so. As long as I find happiness in them I guess I am alright. Everyone has hobbies, let's just say mine is to make a difference. And I got nothing much to make a difference other than just to eat drink and be merry. And so be it.

Sigh....... what difference could i actually make to the future with these petty sums of money. not like I can invest into something and let it grow, provided Im not dumb enough to screw it up, or what great business could I come up with. I mean look at you, in the end, you are no better..... one of you is still under some boss, unwilling to change a trade, to change a marketing strategy, to expand product line, and another is still a housewife, what happened to all the great food u can make, the great yogurt you make? Not like I have not given you ideas to make it big, you refuses, then, given my limited time, what can I do at this moment? 

Anyway whatever the case, money still wins, will be rather frugal for the next half a month, for I had not much left.