Supp~~

Came back from Dick Lee's Hotpants, 

It was actually a great musical, 

about growing up, 

about how things screw up, 

but bottomline, 

people have feelings, 

and people need to reignite their passion, 

rediscover their passion, reminiscent about the good old days....

jokes are good, songs are catchy, and I got autographed by Dick Lee!!!
WOOHOOO fan boi!

Anyway, 

recently had a one to one talk with a great leader in my life, 

he actually told me that he admired how I bring my parents out, 

but actually, I am admiring about another friend of mine, 

who is 100 times better!

He works with his mum, he look for his mum, 

he find his mum to talk things, 

he gets dinner date with his mum, 

none of which I would ever do. 

Well anyway, 

days ago I tweeted,

咫尺天涯，心与心的距离，才是最遥远的.
So many ppl I wanna know more about, yet often, we can only stay as "a friend I know of"

There are many people in my life whom I wanna KPO into their lives,
helping whatever I can,
but we only have 24 hours in our lives,
I got no time.

How many of us actually bothered to notice the people around us everyday.
There was this customer of mine facing huge difficulties,
this person came for liqueur, I suggested a cocktail,
and then we started talking,
and found out that this person was heartbroken,
in midst of divorce, and forced to forgo this person lifestyle.
Details not to be disclosed.

Anyway, the point it,
the person told me Im the only person that the person talk to about this,
so it suddenly hit me, how many lonely souls are there walking with chains?
Many people around me I sense have alot of things kept in the heart,
yet they do not express it out, at least not to me,
and many times I do feel like knowing more,
at least if no solution, I can offer emotional release?
but yea.. no time.

The only times I can check out social media,
is after work, past midnight
when they probably be tortured by a problem so much,
they finally suppressed and decided to sleep,
so for me to dig them out is painful for them,
and I'll let it slide...

This is the only theme that no songs that depicts this comes into my head,
anyone have any idea plz share!
Well, maybe it goads me to write one??
hahas!

 

Looking at Bali picture,
so yearning for a getaway there,
where the pubs plays music,
booze is affordable,
and breakfast is enjoyed in the forests.......

Again and again I felt I've been organizing gatherings,
and just dont fit it right.

Even as simple as just come and eat and chit chat,
there were so many unhappiness,
what is wrong is people?

disorganized, but nothing much to plan right,
and everyone seldom meets,
so catching up needs time,
not like there's anything much to do together......

and yea, apparently ppl around me are not that versatile,
alot of things we have little experience......
seriously, I always felt regretful to organize gatherings,
but time and again I keep organizing.

So weird,
then someone pointed out to me,
it's that cuz I felt certain groups are so much of my life,
that I want them to be part of every highlights of my life,
and often, I am unwise.

As I should have followed my new point of view,
that every group is different and should utilize each group
with the right purpose of the group,
and not jell it together and hope things just work out.

Have to constantly remind myself this!

It's been long since i blogged,

Most of the time are spent working.
For July, I actually had 3 jobs,
Restaurant at night 6pm - 12mn,
but only 5 days
Geylang Serai drinks production for Ramadan pasar malam 10am-5pm,
only 4 days
then occasionally Giant as a packer.
then got Garfield Run,
got Energizer Run,
got Sound of Music,
and Ukulele Assemble SG.......

So yea how busy it was.
Then recently began seeing this girl,
so spent quite some time midst my busy schedule and our work schedule to meet.
so was a really really tiring July for me.........

Spent my bday simple,
just a dinner with Wushu and SRC,
then at night my great friends ZG and BW
came timbre for me after they left work at 11pm......

Then on weekend morning, fianlly me and dad has a common off,
so before the run we had a great dinner,
finally they are not complaining the price steep,
and agreed going out for a lunch..........
these kind of chances are rare, especially as I grow up....

Nothing much in highlight,
much to rant though.......
my mum entered into some MLM, and delved too deep,
from free membership, now buy their products,
then tried to enter our family meembers into it.........
and trying so hard to persuade me into eating those unknown vitamins........
OMG MLM is a strictly NO for me!
No matter what fuck is that.....
Trying to persuade me with shit logic and brainwashed mind and skewed facts,
I am fine with the body and lifestyle now,
I don't need any quick way to earn money,
neither any vitamins to enhance myself,
so shut up!

As much as I am disappointed they entered,
but I think back,
maybe this is the kind of feeling they had to me,
for spending lots on delicacies and musicals..........

Sometimes I really wonder whats there in life other than bullshits and more bullshits,
some people just are born with a silver spoon, nothing to care,
not much frets, not much problems,
and some worked their ass off just to have enough to live.

Working so hard for what, imagine im now adult,
working life everyday,
and then the money earned spent on some self "rewards",
like perhaps a holiday? some luxury items? Party?
then whats the point of working?
just to create the yearn of escape? of leisure?
so the leisure suppliers could earn and make a living too?
what pointless life!!

Realized my blog is a ranting blog after graduation.......
oh well........
sigh...... gonna chillout at some cafe before work reading.............
ciao

Well, it has been like forever since I blogged again.

So after graduation, I converted to full time in my current work at Adstragold.

Much to say about this experience, but then again it's all about perspectives. When comparing, the grass is always greener elsewhere. One of the most crucial factor of the convert is colleagues, yet sadly after a week working with him, he gotta leave due to family problems. So now Im stuck here. Initially, work was not as smooth, but I have gotten used to it, I believe I'm a much more patient and understanding person. Working with me are nice people, I sort of have an authority here, just that sometimes they boss always have his misunderstandings, and kept having an impression of me not being focused. Well, nothing really new about it. At least till now, none of my direct customer have any complains of me, and actually received a number of praises. These brightens my work life.

So while working full time, I utilize my off days to take a break from work, mostly food though, and yes, this week, due to re-scheduling, I have 2 half days and 1 full day off in a row. A break well timed! Last wednesday accompanied a friend in wake, slept 3h before work, then the following day is world cup when I bet, and then followed by Beerfest, so that 4 days, I slept only 3h a day.

Anyway, Beerfest was disappointing in terms of beers, there are all light beers and all taste like tiger, no flavor at all and are rather flat, However, the list of bands are awesome! First time seeing smashing guitar, and crowds standing on tables and piggy-back each other to rock with the Killer Queen!

Then, I spent my tue with cell group plus zh to the Trick Eye museum! Though more exhibits than Bali, the exhibits werent as interesting, but then it's well worth, considering we even had the 50% off sales! Then on wed, I visit the SCC kids. Surprised, that after so long, there are still kids flocking to me, hugging and pulling me, shouting my name like a celebrity. Maybe someday I would really set up a child care and set a whole new culture of children! That we teach them the traditions and values, and let them have the freedom to explore, the knowledge to grow, the resources to be creative! And wow! Im so impressed with this lion dance kid, that he is interested in this chinese culture, and are training everyday, and is rather cute!

Then we went to strictly pancakes, cost me a bomb! but oh well I guess I have depleted their menu hahas! Then went for How To Train Your Dragon 2. The movie was okay, lots of concepts not convincing, but the message it brought forward was good. I guess one of the things the movie taught is never to look down on yourselves. Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measures! Who are we to look to ourselves and think "Im not as capable, Im not as equipped, Im not special", because we should be looking into ourselves and think "why not?". By being inferior, and being afraid to take on responsibilities, and to not dare to try, is not going to give glory to God, for we are all His people. We are meant to shine, and unleash our potentials, such that we give inspirations and hope for others to shine as well! And as we are liberated from our fear, we also give others a chance to liberate themselves of their fear.

It's gonna be graduation.
i have no special inclination to it at all,
just another rites of passage thing to me,
rather pointless, cuz probably I didnt put it much effort
so the cert isnt something very worthy to me.
But anyway, glad that I gonna be graduating,
all the projects and intern all over.
I had a catch up with a course mate,
really amazed how much of our theory works he could still rmb,
really rare to find ppl like him that treasures the knowledge we gained as much already.

Anyway, so it woudl be friend bday too,
so gonna have a rojak celebration tmr.
First is for wushu post graduation dinner,
then is for my graduation,
then is for fren bday.

So honoured that without organizing,
wushu guys are coming, cell, ex cell, and ex students.
10 ppl are coming to see my graduation,
I think thats the most number of visitor anyone I know ever had sia!

=)

feel bad not having much time catching up with ppl,
but cuz of work anyway.
the pay isnt good right now,
but i still accepted the full time position,
due to more working hours,
job familiarity and satisfaction,
opportunity to exposed to more things,
and yes, as a lazy person, proximity is high on concern!

Well, I guess, soon, I'll close one chapter of my life again!
50 years of my life ahead.....
still pondering,
still contemplating,
still bewildered,
and rather fearful,
but hopeful,
and ironically a little anticipating.

But nothing is definite in the world,
so yea........ just gotta let time unravel the future~

Back from Bali. 
Land of Gods, Paradise Getaway, Island of Terrains.....

Loved it there.
Different parts of Bali has different experiences.
There were beaches, and hills, and sun, and breeze, and chill, and stars, and disco balls.

This trip made me think alot as well.

1) I thought of family. What does it take to be a family? What is an ideal family? Sometimes, despite the many wonderful places, my parents tend to spoil them with their tones and attitudes. Sometimes it's so irritating when you throw tantrum just because things doesn't go your way, and you assume this and that, and always think you are correct. And then you are rushing itinerary that you dont enjoy the places at all. Or you take pictures for the sake of taking them, and often frowns upon good photos that you spoil the mood of the photos. And then complain about money again. And also weird behaviors, embarrassing, and not being graceful. But then again, We Are One. Things dont always go the way we want. But we are still as one, looking ahead for better things together. But then again I saw the interactions of other families and all, I just kept feeling why cant I have a family like that? Sigh, un-content-ment.

2) Wages there are so low! That most locals there cant really enjoy the development of their own country. I think that's something common through all countries, that the developments are meant for tourists to enjoy not locals. And welfare, somehow I think sg has relatively better healthcare. And education for mentally challenged, in Bali, there isnt classification of mental challenges and its a taboo, as they believe in karma, that misfortune such as these occurs because the family did some grave mistakes in life, they shun and alienate these ppl. Pitiful....

3) The kind of life they live is rather carefree, simple, yet happy. Sometimes Im too burdened by my parent's enforced expectations of earning huge money. Like as if money is all worth in the world. Sigh.

4) I always believed that no matter what, if a person wants you down, you have no defence against him. You can take hundreds of precautions, but it all boils down to heaven. But above all, a good person, no matter how bad, there will be a greater help for you.

5) Service. Service standards were so much better there, to every person there even if the person is not in service sector. They greet you politely, they are patient to guide, they are appreciative of gratitudes. In service line, in F&B, they provide wet towels as you enter, and welcome drink, no matter if you decide to sit and eat or to change your mind. They always speak nicely. Oh! they speak languages! Dutch, France, Holland, Cantonese, Mandarin, Korean, English, Balinese, all types!!! wow!!!

6) Culture. No matter young or old, their traditions are passed down well. Their dances, practises and skills are hereditary! Yet in Chinese culture, it's becoming shitty as generations go by. Why? See our traditional music and dance? The lion dance? now got hip hop? face palm!

7) Health. I see old folks there are to climb the steps with ease, carrying their harvests, yet young tourist like us struggling.

8) Religion. So many types of religions and practises! shall not discuss much here.

9) Some teachers abandoned classes to drive tourists around, to earn extra money, and even have under tables to secure a government jobs, that dont necessary fetch good money, though guaranteed job, but they are that "desperate"? Why? What would happen to the children of their future? So sad =( Knowledge is compromised!

10) their bars all so entertaining! they do have a night life though their night starts at 6 till 11 only. Short working hours, but they lived good. So relaxing there! I think I drank every single night except the last night.

Have been mia for very long.

Basically my life is all about work right now, my boss was great to me, my welfare was good, and he allowed me flexibility at work. Ofcoz, I have also strive to make myself useful in the brewery. Learnt alot about the business and customer relations. 

Really happy when customers compliment about my smile, my service, my enthusiasm and all. 

Life was ironic for me.

Never be too quick to speak, nothing is really definite in life. 

Long ago I never thought I could be accustomed to such working life, I would never imagine myself being in a job the whole week, doing the same thing and all... I enjoyed work right now.

It's like long ago I have never imagined myself liking club songs or rock songs.

Long ago I wouldn't have interest in TCM and now JL approached me about it, and since 2 years back I actually wanted to know about TCM cuz it's a great safe solution to elder health. 

That brings me to the irony that long ago I have never considered migration, I would be devastated if I leave all my social connections and life in sg. But right now I actually have thoughts to go to Sydney. I mean like there is nth that ties me down to sg anymore. 

Now I understand why ppl say that friends could be established again. In life, there is a limit of close friends you could possibly have, cuz of the need of connections and the scarcity of time. And friendship now is a different phenomenon, all these years I have been searching for those kind of die-die-stick-together friendship that do everything together go everywhere together. But then it's not practical in modern society. 

Firstly cuz we take connectivity for granted due to social media. We lose that value of physically spending time together. 

Secondly there are too much interest activities in the world that ppl have different tastes.

Thirdly time drifts ppl apart faster cuz much things could be completed now in the same period of time as before. 

Thus I chanced upon groups on google, it's amazing about the number of ppl liking a particular interest. So it becomes task specificity social support model, we go to different groups of ppl to seek what we want at it's best possible chance. You don't approach a photography club if you need help in business, you simply approach the entrepreneur club as it yields higher chance of finding help. 

That being said, I guess I'm saving money for a trip to Sydney to see the culture there. And ofcoz, the retirement villagers there. It could be a path for me in the future. 

How I Met Your Mother has officially ended.

The last 2 episodes finale filled in all the gaps of the whole drama.
All in all, it's so "life", every thing about it, is like life in a dramatic way.
In the end, at some point in time, we still gotta say goodbye,
There's a time for everything, for all relationships,
Sometimes you realize the journey you've been taking has reached its final stop.
So the question becomes : Where do you go next?

That's probably the hardest, most intriguing question at some point in our lives.
I felt like Ted, except perhaps in a different manner.
I started off didn't really care about social relationships,
I am just friendly to anyone, then I get close to a few gradually,
then it hurts me when we drifted,
and the cycle repeats.

No matter how close were you,
I guess in the end, everyone got their own family,
own careers, and time spent would be much less,
but then once in a while on big moments when you reunite,
That's when time seemed to just rewind to the past.

Most important moments shouldn't be missed, you cant have them back, so don't give up crazy moments with your friends, they're probably the real-est kind of love you could get even for a moment. Some people are worth the effort to keep, some just have expiration dates.

Ted also thinks he is ready to be a relationship guy at the start of the drama,
but we found out that the whole 9 seasons is preparing him to be a good father.
Somehow I'm like that too,
I felt that having kids is the only worthy love I could pour to.
I felt everything is so superficial,
and that I always come across to friends as Older Brother Syndrome,
not really the kind of friends people have,I am rather awkward.
Yea often I heard comments that i'm like a "father" to my friends.
So perhaps I would want to skip all the relationship to having kids.
But then it's impossible, cuz I alone can't do that,
need a compatible someone..........
Someone...... perhaps with a yellow umbrella at the train station of Farhampton.  
But things happen for a reason, I'll just have to wait for it.

Ted is "old" for his age, is rather a bore, and likes things other ppl dont,
he liked to lecture and display his architecture prowess,
capable of perhaps dating at the lighthouse,
saying cold jokes and stuffs......
I feel so much like him....... hopelessly romantic.....

Anyway yea, then Barney finally became father too,
his marriage fell with Robin, cuz the sparks are too great,
that they are overwhelmed, and Robin is definitely not the kind of mum,
but at least they are frank to each other, complete honesty,
just like the vow.
Robin found her love in the end too,
at the right time, when all the possible knots are untied,
unfortunate that the mother, Tracey, actually died,
but in her final years, Ted was the perfect man for her,
loved her every moment of his life,
So for Robin, her final relationship would not cause her to be tied down with family responsibilities.

26th Mar:

Spend my whole day at the Ageing Conference at Pan Pacific, one of the last moments of my poly life with my class, I concluded our class still had more laughs hahas! Bunch of fun loving people! So Then at night went for Timbre, and had a casual talk with a friend. Simple day passed.

I guess it's official that my friendship with a friend I once considers close restarted.

Perhaps will not be as close anymore but at least I'm happier at this conclusion, at least I know what pisses him off, and realize our friendship rather superficial. I mean one moment will ask me for lunch n dinner, and talk about games and all, then one trivial matter can totally shut me off, so its all still at a companion level, no personal level yet.

It's ok, hope can continue eating and talking about games, I don't mind.

Sigh now that i know, at least no more resentment, now feel like holding something to give me some security feeling, but none....

Sometimes it's really hard to get a shoulder to rely on, or even to get a hug, esp with all the homosensitivity around. I really feel sad for ppl like me who got no one to receive hug from, and can't find a guy to do that cus it's just weird.... Cuz our culture, ppl stereotype fast... Esp for males... so ya, only bolster lor...

---------------

Time can never mend
the careless whispers of a good friend
to the heart and mind
ignorance is kind
there's no comfort in the truth
pain is all you'll find

-----------------

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

-----------------

I know it's not enough to say I'm wrong
You know that I will miss you now you're gone
I know it's not your life to see this through
Just know that in my heart, it beats for you
So leave a little note for me behind
I swear I have to know the reasons why
This won't survive

27 Mar:

Gathering with sec sch friends,
really surprised most of them remembered whatever I said long time before,
and yea other than those,
we really Talk Cock Sing Song,
lots of cold pun jokes by Cheuck as usual,
and then yea it was mostly laughter.
BKT and Cheesecake Cafe were closed,
we ate Tian Tian and O Coffee Club.
So excited for the next big event,
driving to Malaysia.

Yea, I rmb a few of my friends never flew on a plan before,
I seriously felt like devote one month of my time working,
so could have a short trip on a plane for them......
Then again my work is only 4h a day,
cant fetch me enough money.

Sigh~~~
Someday I will!

Yea it's really heartwarming to gather and have a good laugh,
I think in the end, the 94s people in my life
are the more lasting people.......
even though we not as gung-ho,
totally "xi shui chang liu" (thin water runs longer)
=) cheers to Talk Cock Sing Song!!

What an idiotic episode.

Sigh.
Today a close friend of mine suddenly left group,
the group was about to decide where to go tmr.
So then I was suddenly saddened, terrified.
This is cuz I just lost another close friend last weel.

Then I thought that, it should be bgr that he did that.
So then after awhile I found out I was right.
Then, it became worst.

I was disappointed, pissed.
I told him countless times,
not to vent anger on innocents,
not to deprive ppl of their rightful share
of happiness and time with him,
and this happened.

Dont tell me cuz no mood or what,
The whole world go through the same damn thing,
We are emotional I know,
I tear alot too, it's no shame,
But in the end I did not carry my problems around.

Then, Im disappointed in myself,
that he is not even talking to me his problems,
talking about bonding,
we came from a 10-ppl cell to 5,
then how is it bonding
when simple life problems such as this
not being shared........

Also disappointed in me being a lousy friend,
that people could walk out of my life on trivial matters,
my gosh, what bullshit about social,
total bullshit,
social ties are so superficial and shallow,
maybe cuz I couldnt taste the grapes to say its sour,
but whateever......
dont matter anymore......

Totally devastated,
to think about all the efforts and time,
to even rush there in 10 mins,
with a bike without  brake,
almost banged into traffic twice,
forgot about the steep slope and almost out of control also,
sweat like pig and all in vain cuz he's aslp already.......

sigh.............
never been so angry in my life.......
though I think I probably soft heart again,
but for now, Im a cold hearted machine.......