May 15

On friends. Today marks the 124th consecutive day of meeting with a friend, Z. And it's probably the longest streak ever, but I guess this is the date where the streak ends. Again, have to mention how very very grateful I am in this friendship, the amount of effort it took for this to even happen. We are 2 very different people. Our views, our interest, our definitions, our upbringing, and even our personality, I would say, are opposites. Ive learnt alot through this streak, reframing a lot of things, and also doing things differently. Definitely a great listening ear and opened up my world a little more to things Ive never took interest in but now I know them, such as world of sports, street wear, and minds of teenager, or just fundamental difference between the generational gaps.

Though I must say, he introduced me to another friends of his, K, that seems to connect to me better. This person is a low maintenance friendship. We talked about feelings and viewpoints without much assertive of stands, we enjoy food and cafe and pretty much the small moments of being "present". We can be scheduled or be spontaneous, from compartmentalizing specific days to work on something in life to just go with the spur of moment on the day. He is probably on the other spectrum to Z, in terms of how he thought through every step, every decision, and every response to things, 2 or 3 steps ahead. Which I thought the reason was rather peculiar but definitely valid. Sometimes, being truthful helps if you value the friendship, and rather honest than to bottle up, even if it's just a minor irks that you can live by it but just to point it out to a friend is better than to just accommodate; but doesnt mean its hierarchical, means that if he knew the reaction or viewpoint, that some things are not necessary to say since it will not help the situation, so its task-oriented. Very tiring way of life in my point but oh well, its a perspective Ive never came across. 

But I sense a little tension between them. Z finds that K became distant, and evaluating everything so much to the point it feels like he is judging what could suit his ideal life he is aspiring for, and K finds Z being less honest on his feelings, to the point he find that its hard to move on from a topic they clearly stand on different side of fence. I did try to get both of them see the intentions on both sides but then he mentioned about don't need to always please everyone and get to side of everyone. Hmm..... but the way I see it, both are harmless, or rather, have valid viewpoints, they could resolve the difference easily? But oh well, beyond me to do that, either way they know each other longer, and both values each other a lot a lot. So yea, not gonna mediate this. 

On work. News about the new tightening measure on safe distancing came yesterday, like the sound of roaring thunder piercing through the grey skies, wriggling through the thick droplets of rain. The news on reduction from 8 to 5 have me rather unsettled as many plans have to be put on hold, and  now the further reduction to 2 is practically another form of lockdown. Tour bookings have froze ever since, and now, cancellations and postponement plagued the mailbox. 

On financial. About a month ago, a friend asked for a huge sum, $4k, to help on something that doesnt even concern him. basically, he is in a lion dance troupe that causes his life so complicated now. Due to the nature of industry, they have not much chance to get bookings, so the leaders are all in financial difficulties, and their sponsors are pulling out, causing the debt due to warehouse rental and operating debts, and the leader that controls cash flow had his account frozen for investigation. The rest are young and the leaders do not want other members to know as dont want to blow up the matter. To make matters worst, one of the member was caught by traffic police on unauthorized driving without license as she allowed her friend to drive her rented car, which cause a $5k penalty according to a clause which he couldnt get his hands on, but they agreed to resolve privately for $1.8k initially, then raised to $2.1k within the week. The problem of urgency made me suspect the clause. The troupe leaders agreed to help and decided to resolve privately as the "victim" is under huge stress in relationship and in work, with tendency of depression and sleeping pills. 

All these led me to be under a $8k loan from boss and another friend. It never occurred to me though, that no IOU was signed between me and him, neither him and his troupe, and no receipts no clause was shown to me. I hate to have to come down to the last resort of doubting my friend, but what if I am being cheated? As much as I warned him of being cheated, I had never doubted him. But I chose to believe him for now until the issue resolved, on the hard limit that I am not helping him financially anymore until full repayment. Having a $4k loan from another friend, our decade long friendship is being affected as every conversation now starts with asking about the status of this sum. Bothers me a lot but valid, and I fully understand. I then went to the lendee to explain that no matter what situation it is between the troupe, but the loan was extended to him as a friend, he should be thinking about ways of repaying regardless of if the troupe could repay him. Similar case for me, to settle the loan on my end, I took on part time waitering. Probably the easiest F&B Ive done in my life, where system flow is well thought of, and responsibilities are streamlined and straightforward without much training involved. Boss knew about it and was unhappy, and step me up to more responsibilities to fill my time, ofcoz with a fair wage increase. But honestly, I can do HR management, but managing people is not me, it dont come naturally unlike others, whether or not i can excel is one thing, but whether I am fully comfortable doing so is another. But oh well, a job is a job, and being in a rather close-knitted team, I dont see why not. 

Oh well, last day of dining in and going out, I have 6 more hours before my part time work, to just chill, and people watch, and then the following one month to recalibrate the team, and to recalibrate my life too. Compared to the first lockdown, I must say I am very much more prepared, with clear direction, and task to do. No courses, no beer. No unhealthy thoughts. Okie, till next time, ciao.