Are we just lost stars trying to light up the dark?

Recently I attended a talk about the Science of Happiness.

It mainly focus on a hedonic perspective of happiness, so the factors are maximizing positive affect, minimizing negative affect and life satisfaction.

It explored the Terman studies which involves a extreme state of subjective well being studies by the Diener model, which is that in rate cases where satisfaction reached its maximum, it has reversed effect like being too contented thus losing the competency and therefore prone to mistakes or tendency to ignore symptoms which might lead to great illness and etc. Interesting thought but either irrelevant since we can't really we happy and satisfied to the max cuz we can't really know happiness until we been through unhappiness? The need for novelty would drives us to achieve more, so could be actually be 100% satisfied in life?

We must give applause to the amount of preparation and research the students did, it wasnt an easy task especially on such topic. However lots of audiences such as myself are so cynical about things like creativity and economic. They claimed that the studies concluded happy people are more creative, but there are so much talents out there producing their best works under depression or at their lowest point in life. And as for the economical part, Easterlin paradox easily countered the claim that riches has a linear positive effect on happiness.

So the rest of the talk was a recap of what we have learnt in social aspects of Happiness. Sadly, there wasnt any discussion sessions for the floor to throw in some perspectives and researches here and there.

I actually went in hope to hear some interesting findings on the Dark Side of Happiness. I had several questions like, in the pursuit of happiness, people tend to be unhappy, so is such pursuit in wrong direction of happiness? and lets talk about happy events, those that causes all the serotonins and oxytocin and endorphins and maybe dopamine too....... happy moments are like drugs, that makes your brain work extra hard to get back that feel, but in the process it made u not as happy right?

There are lots of approaches to understand happiness, subjective well being as a whole, liek the top-down or bottom-up, and the PANAS and PERMA, and other Eudamonia model but I guess all in all it could be sumemd up in the 3P model, past, present, prospect.

We should have acceptance of our past, to untie all knots, to forgive, to accept ascribed statuses, to appreciate what you had and had not, and what you have went through to shape who you are. Then, acceptance of our present, have the courage to change things you can, and to have serenity to brace through the things you cant, and to live life to the fullest without regret, and the prospect, maybe the future ideal self image, the hope for tomorrow, a purpose, a destination.

But then again, paradox of choice, what if we could not fix on a path to take? What comes next?

Hahas, got me thinking, and also ofcoz, recently talking about what benefits could we get from investing so much emotionally into another person, since all feasts come to an end, all humans are bound to drift at some point in life, why are human so social and so emotional? to find sense of security? sense of belonging? to merge walls to form greater walls?

I guess men are generally lonely and sad deep inside? Cuz men pride, cuz it's embarrassing to talk about feelings and problem to other ppl, cuz stereotype to solve own problems and strong facade. Their probably go for task specificity model of social support to find help only if they know that person is of specialty field to help him and not due to the closeness or whatever, and normally would not seek help for emotional issues.......

Well on the brighter side I found an answer to a friend's question some time ago, "why do you like to treat people so much?"

It's actually prosocial spending which would lead to increased happiness.

Firstly, it is Relatedness, helping others satisfies fundamental need for social connection.
Secondly, it is Competency, you feel the power to make a difference in people life, and most of us are socially constructed to feel that this act is good, you feel that you contributed to the greater good of mankind.
Thirdly, Autonomy, the act of free will to give led to a sense of self satisfaction that you have personally performed a gesture of goodwill.

Yepp........ thats all for now..... ciao