Had a great night with my cell and kok guan's cell, carolling. Especially as we touch into Mary's Boy Child. This was a song that had parted me for too long, so as we sang it, I could remember the lyrics very clearly, and even the tune (though in the end they're version different than what I have heard) clearly reverberated in my mind. It was also that momnent, I was as if woke up from an amnesia, memories of my childhood came back. I remembered I was slumbering in the 3-seater seat in my parents car, probably exhausted after in awe with a big xmas tree. I remembered the grey cassette labelled xmas carols with 20 songs, yet that song was put on repeat then. My parents then was talking stuffs that seemed loquacious to me then, but the whole atmosphere was rather warmth even as the windshield wipers was at 0.5Hz with the aircon at high. The seat was not comfortable that I had to stretch to fit in the 2 depressions, so called 'holes'.

That was for the day. However I do realize that I think my memory is recovering. I could now remember things that I couldn't just half a year ago. Since around november I realize I can remember my childhood better, or rather the image, the memories, are clearly, are less intangible, as if I was living through them again each time part of it came back. I'm really grateful. =)

Believe it or not, I think the estrangement of school is hindering me from grasping my happy childhood. Maybe just like matilda, as people are given pressure and goals, they tend to look forward and forgetting what they had been through in the cost of forsaking some 'abilities', and eventually, the past will fade, but will be polished again as we recognize some familiar tunes or objects as we take a break. I think, this is a wonderful break for me. Though majority wants school, I think I prefer this state now, at least for the time being. The world don't stop because I stop, but since I got this opportunity, I think I should enjoy and live this break to the fullest first =)

From Freud theory, it could be also that +/-3% of our brains is conscious whereas the rest are subconscious, so since there are lesser things to be conscious about, some things might 'diffuse' into the +/-3%. Like the delete button and the data recovery button... ermm.... or rather the drag to file function, the some data exchange themselves =)