An update of my life after so long.

Well, after BMT, im posted out to Clementi as SRF. Days there were good. Ofcoz, the first 1 month was tough, as I have to adjust myself and my mentality for the extreme regimentation there. Other than that, bonding with bunk mates and all was good. We had loads of fun, and had lots of night snacks times, bringing in bread, jams, milo, biscuits, crackers and more. Training wise, tough, but pace was manageable, thats why I slimmed down to 69kg.

Then thats when life start to turn another way around.

My driving course wasnt really fun, cuz I had no fixed instructors, most instructors were just trying to pass time. So I count my life by the day. Getting into the vehicle with the instructors judging you and scolding you all the time, life was bad. Towards the end, just last last week, I took 3 tries to get the license. That was probably the worst week of my life. Failing the test on first try is understandable, as it was the first time I drove to the test area before that. But one the first test, I didnt even hit the road, I failed due to not closing the door properly. Sigh. Subsequent tests, just simply I sucked. I hit rock bottom. At the end of the week, I was devastated. I resign to conclude Im a failure driver, and thats not the only screw up, my wushu competition didnt perform well too, was having rather high hopes. What to do. Then, it was my turn on worship, and I screwed up the song too. Haizzz......

Im not the only one though, so I accompanied my friend too, and started a pack a day, and drank a couple of bottle a day, and well, I think booze works! I passed on Monday. Yet it was not a great honour too. While I clock my mileage, Im still repeatedly shouted at, "how you even pass the test", "want me to ooc you", "you're not fit to be a driver". Really, maybe when the whole world thinks you suck, you really suck. Maybe I really sucked. Whatever. I concluded. Who cares, suck at something, change la! big deal! So my temper grew worst, I think it affected my relationship with my family too, my temper was bad.

I pass my days getting events, meeting up with TLC, to have good time singing and entertaining them. That makes me happy. And yea, of all the ktv sessions, being with this clique is the best!

So series of events, I think at the end of the day, it's really me against the world. I do not have the privilege to have  close knitted clique, going to everything together, talk hearts out and pass days together, but it's okay, I can hop around do whatever I like with like minded people, accompanying the days. I think people are just people, vessels, empty vessels. They come because fate wants to, and finish his/her business, and ob la de ob la da life goes on~ thats it.

Today was a rare time to see entire cell going for steamboat, so I thought to drop by for awhile, catch up abit, take some photos, but the response wasnt really my expectation. Rather aloof. So ok, so what I want, take some photos, thats all. I mean like, its not like they actually come to me on my troubled week, or anything liek that, talk about life, console, catch up... nope, not like i turn up for fellowship often too...... and yea most ppl adopt a been-through-done-that attitude when talking about problems anyway, same as other groups of friends, pointless talking about problems, well, life goes on....... so i left for friend bday. reached there, cake was cut too. too late, so thought of catching up after that, went to ktv, gosh it was dead silent~ sigh whats wrong with people. Urghhh whatever, life goes on. I think the only great thing was to catch a pri sch friend just on time, for a short while, thats quite worth it, glad he's doing alright, blessed young man.

So..... whatever, life goes on, life is a personal journey, good to bitch about it to random ppl once in a while, but dont expect anything, it's still a me against the world in the end....... just me, myself, and probably a couple of bottles and a few packs........