Been dead for quite some time, not really feeling well, a little sick i guess. This year definitely not a good year for health. Lol yesterday a counceller came in, he gave a survey on stress, i think i would have more than 50% or them ticked, but i faked them ofcoz, i dont wanna be bothered with some random guy and teaching me to handle stress when im not stressed.

Looking back on changes of humans, really amused me. Humans are so unpredictable. Friends could just fall out into enemies just like that, normally due to a common lover. And I really hated to see a playperson ditching their 'partners' and messed up their lives. It was like walking in and leaving like nobody's business. Old songs really have their meanings: I will survive.

That reminds me of a statement rather inflicting quite a significant depth of cut on my heart. On not in, it was healed already since it was just some kind of skin surface wound. Someone said Im worst than someone I feel far worst than me. Well, in my pov he is, but not to eyes of others, i should accept that, though i have ample evidence to proof the false accusation. Sometimes it was just better to retreat.

Speaking of humanity. I was shock-stricken when I see Joseph being ignored by his brother. Joseph is the guy who was rather timid to even talk, and by this incident i am rather sure that his family plays a huge part of his timid behavior.

His brother is really handsome, yet beauty had it's balance and cost. His outer beauty had confiscated his inner beauty. He left Joseph behind when Joseph could not open his umbrella, he stared at him in a rather irritated manner and then leave him in the lurch. The distance at least a couple of hundred metres, he was on the other side of the path while Joseph was at this. Maybe it was the rain that had made me possess a preconceived notion where he was in a sorry plight. He stood there struggling to open his umbrella in the rain, with such submissive expression like as if his brother is right by doing so. His eyes showed subtle signs of fear of being left behind by someone close to him - nervousness. It was hard to describe fully in words, it was hard even for a movie to capture that scene.

However I hated Mario last time, I still have an affection and care towards his well being. I still have a faint memory of that dire situation where he went missing searching for me. I bet he must have felt that he was left out, sometimes feel like saying sorry to him, though it was not entirely my fault coz I asked my friend to help take care while I go nearly stadium for badminton training. Thus I could imagine how lu xun (famous author that wrote feng zheng) was feeling when you tried to apologies for a statement of forgiveness yet it was long forgotten by the other party. Sorry seems to be the hardest word as said. Anyway my point, at least there's a sense of responsibility and a little care for someone related to you. Yet that jerk, that beast, that inhuman, that whatever you could think of, ah, ccb, knn, fi, mf.... sigh, he is totally unsuitable to be called brother.

I had always been bewildered by his fear to open his mouth, now I'm glad I could safely say that a huge factor is from his family.

Hmm, because of that incident I could conclude that literally I am thick-skined. I rushed to open my umbrella for Joseph therefore cut my finger, yet when I bathe then I realised it was a slight cut though my skin had been peeled off. So my flesh was not cut deeply haha.

Speaking of that, i left my umbrella on the bus, then i saw the driver using it to shelter his way to the station, made me further reassured myself that my actions do make an impact on others.