There are just too many screw ups that I could not elaborate all of them. They never changed, every tour groups that we had, he is always overly concerned of things and us that it became a burden to everyone. For example, he likes to carry every single thing in his bag as if we are going for some survival camp, as a result, he is often too tired, and often sick. Also, he keeps treating me as a child can't take care if myself, as a result in cases where we got separated, he will try to look for be but we already stated that if we get lost we go back to the bus, this delayed tour. Then he is too concerned about taking pictures of every thing that he often takes pictures of pointless things, and pointless videos, and pointless photographs with us just because he want a comparison how big the thing is. Then, it's her, she is forever last in all destinations, she kept having the mentality that as long as we are waiting there is still time, in the end always embarrass us cuz need to wait for her or them. Sigh, tell me, how to enjoy tour? FIT better, but FIT they became too concerned about routes and plans it totally destroys the element of adventure and surprise ok a FIT tour. Seriously pek cek. I know it's privilege, it's filial piety, it's the security and familiarity but seriously, it's not that I totally don't enjoy, but I can enjoy more thoroughly without parents in the tour. I know "we are one", facing everything in hope of a better tomorrow as one unit but I think it's totally unnecessary problems...... Sigh Now can only hope my dad recover n my mum stop being late. Overall the trip got good and bad, in fact, extreme good and extreme bad, at least in my point if view and response to the situation. Good part, shall have an optimistic post at the end of tour.

Supp...

Movie Review "Cafe. Waiting. Love"

Watched the movie finally!
Been waiting for this movie for quite sometime since Harlerm Yu promoted it.
So listening to the lyrics, it felt like it's trying to say about fate,
and how 2 imperfect people becomes perfect together.
After watching the movie, it seems different.

Anyway,
the movie started off introduction of setting,
and many slapstick jokes,
that nay appeal to taiwan drama kind of audience?
character development wasnt really there,
everything seems to "simple" to progress.

However, after a plot twist at the end,
as cliche as it is,
it's rather thought provoking.

Must we be really at the state where the ideal "target" is completely crushed before we realize the goodness around us? The main character basically had a major crush on some ideal angelic kind of guy but then after the twist, she realized that the person that actually stayed by her side the whole time is actually the clown or joker as it seems.

Just went to Batam with WD and CH.

Really glad to have them in my life.
Throughout the journey we had lots of catch ups and reminiscence about the past.
It's amazing how life just branches away after graduation.
And yea I got to know them more, 
and had more "case studies" of how people could turn up in certain parenting styles.

We had some conversations about child raising too.
Sometimes we feel that it's such a huge thing,
to raise someone properly,
not to create monsters or not screwing up a person life,
and how to nurture critical thinking and surpass us.

Well, this topic seemed to surface a few times when talking
to peers of my age. Generational thing? Cohort phrase of thinking?

Yea all in all,
I still conclude,
there are too many factors
that could shape a child,
that as long as it creates a purpose
in my life
to spend time and effort
on this worthy growth,
alot of things are up to life.

Anyway the trip is great.
First day went to shopping, bowling and arcade.
Didnt expect how we were crazy at bombomcars and just bowling.......
Was surprised they enjoyed indo food,
really felt so touched they actually are actually
receptive to indo culture and food.
So along the way I guided them origins of stuffs,
culture of favour and tips,
using hands, empals, etc etc.......

Second day went for shooting, canoe, cable ski and atv.
C was really awesome at atv, duh its cars!
and also cable ski! He managed to ride it at the end of almost 2h,
we couldnt even stand la!

Surprised that in Batam, time crawls!
One hour of nap and restore a whole day of energy,
and a good night sleep last around 4-5 hours only,
despite how drained out we were!
And though we have done so much,
time never seemed to run out!!!
Really awesome!!

Anyway yea then we were talking about why do I 
keep treating people......
Not a new question,
but seriously I couldnt explain.
Well, he asked if there is unconditional love,
and how far social exchange theory stands?

So I conclude:

1) My behavior is probably Im rather a lonely guy, using money to buy companion perhaps?

2) I believe the same dollar to treat, is used to do something the person couldnt have done at that moment, might evolve into something beautiful, rather than let it depreciate over time.

3) Unconditional love is present at parents when child is young, until some point when they looses this and became more demanding cuz they felt they put in enough effort for some reward. Though not applicable with all, cuz some young parents do not care their kids.

4)  It should be rather universal, just depending whether the exchange is "equal value" to another person eyes, again, symbolic interventionist, beauty at the eye of the beholder, individual values different stuffs differently.

Then last day shopping.
Sometimes I do feel extremely demoralize that Im not charming and skinny and fit,
such that I could look good in many fashion,
have my size for all clothes,
and attracts people whatever I wear.
Then again..... sigh..... what for?
Also, seeing friends buying stuffs for their siblings,
sometimes really wished I were to have siblings,
at least someone I could show care and concern for.

Well,
a short getaway ended,
was fun, tiring, and enriching too.
Really hoped that our friendship could continue on,
who knows what the future would bring,
especially with a rites of passage like NS.
But anyway,
on behalf of belated mid autumn, 
wish everyone longevity, 
and a bright future ahead!
May mankind lives on, enjoying the same pale moon..........!

Supp~~

Came back from Dick Lee's Hotpants, 

It was actually a great musical, 

about growing up, 

about how things screw up, 

but bottomline, 

people have feelings, 

and people need to reignite their passion, 

rediscover their passion, reminiscent about the good old days....

jokes are good, songs are catchy, and I got autographed by Dick Lee!!!
WOOHOOO fan boi!

Anyway, 

recently had a one to one talk with a great leader in my life, 

he actually told me that he admired how I bring my parents out, 

but actually, I am admiring about another friend of mine, 

who is 100 times better!

He works with his mum, he look for his mum, 

he find his mum to talk things, 

he gets dinner date with his mum, 

none of which I would ever do. 

Well anyway, 

days ago I tweeted,

咫尺天涯，心与心的距离，才是最遥远的.
So many ppl I wanna know more about, yet often, we can only stay as "a friend I know of"

There are many people in my life whom I wanna KPO into their lives,
helping whatever I can,
but we only have 24 hours in our lives,
I got no time.

How many of us actually bothered to notice the people around us everyday.
There was this customer of mine facing huge difficulties,
this person came for liqueur, I suggested a cocktail,
and then we started talking,
and found out that this person was heartbroken,
in midst of divorce, and forced to forgo this person lifestyle.
Details not to be disclosed.

Anyway, the point it,
the person told me Im the only person that the person talk to about this,
so it suddenly hit me, how many lonely souls are there walking with chains?
Many people around me I sense have alot of things kept in the heart,
yet they do not express it out, at least not to me,
and many times I do feel like knowing more,
at least if no solution, I can offer emotional release?
but yea.. no time.

The only times I can check out social media,
is after work, past midnight
when they probably be tortured by a problem so much,
they finally suppressed and decided to sleep,
so for me to dig them out is painful for them,
and I'll let it slide...

This is the only theme that no songs that depicts this comes into my head,
anyone have any idea plz share!
Well, maybe it goads me to write one??
hahas!

 

Looking at Bali picture,
so yearning for a getaway there,
where the pubs plays music,
booze is affordable,
and breakfast is enjoyed in the forests.......

Again and again I felt I've been organizing gatherings,
and just dont fit it right.

Even as simple as just come and eat and chit chat,
there were so many unhappiness,
what is wrong is people?

disorganized, but nothing much to plan right,
and everyone seldom meets,
so catching up needs time,
not like there's anything much to do together......

and yea, apparently ppl around me are not that versatile,
alot of things we have little experience......
seriously, I always felt regretful to organize gatherings,
but time and again I keep organizing.

So weird,
then someone pointed out to me,
it's that cuz I felt certain groups are so much of my life,
that I want them to be part of every highlights of my life,
and often, I am unwise.

As I should have followed my new point of view,
that every group is different and should utilize each group
with the right purpose of the group,
and not jell it together and hope things just work out.

Have to constantly remind myself this!

It's been long since i blogged,

Most of the time are spent working.
For July, I actually had 3 jobs,
Restaurant at night 6pm - 12mn,
but only 5 days
Geylang Serai drinks production for Ramadan pasar malam 10am-5pm,
only 4 days
then occasionally Giant as a packer.
then got Garfield Run,
got Energizer Run,
got Sound of Music,
and Ukulele Assemble SG.......

So yea how busy it was.
Then recently began seeing this girl,
so spent quite some time midst my busy schedule and our work schedule to meet.
so was a really really tiring July for me.........

Spent my bday simple,
just a dinner with Wushu and SRC,
then at night my great friends ZG and BW
came timbre for me after they left work at 11pm......

Then on weekend morning, fianlly me and dad has a common off,
so before the run we had a great dinner,
finally they are not complaining the price steep,
and agreed going out for a lunch..........
these kind of chances are rare, especially as I grow up....

Nothing much in highlight,
much to rant though.......
my mum entered into some MLM, and delved too deep,
from free membership, now buy their products,
then tried to enter our family meembers into it.........
and trying so hard to persuade me into eating those unknown vitamins........
OMG MLM is a strictly NO for me!
No matter what fuck is that.....
Trying to persuade me with shit logic and brainwashed mind and skewed facts,
I am fine with the body and lifestyle now,
I don't need any quick way to earn money,
neither any vitamins to enhance myself,
so shut up!

As much as I am disappointed they entered,
but I think back,
maybe this is the kind of feeling they had to me,
for spending lots on delicacies and musicals..........

Sometimes I really wonder whats there in life other than bullshits and more bullshits,
some people just are born with a silver spoon, nothing to care,
not much frets, not much problems,
and some worked their ass off just to have enough to live.

Working so hard for what, imagine im now adult,
working life everyday,
and then the money earned spent on some self "rewards",
like perhaps a holiday? some luxury items? Party?
then whats the point of working?
just to create the yearn of escape? of leisure?
so the leisure suppliers could earn and make a living too?
what pointless life!!

Realized my blog is a ranting blog after graduation.......
oh well........
sigh...... gonna chillout at some cafe before work reading.............
ciao

Well, it has been like forever since I blogged again.

So after graduation, I converted to full time in my current work at Adstragold.

Much to say about this experience, but then again it's all about perspectives. When comparing, the grass is always greener elsewhere. One of the most crucial factor of the convert is colleagues, yet sadly after a week working with him, he gotta leave due to family problems. So now Im stuck here. Initially, work was not as smooth, but I have gotten used to it, I believe I'm a much more patient and understanding person. Working with me are nice people, I sort of have an authority here, just that sometimes they boss always have his misunderstandings, and kept having an impression of me not being focused. Well, nothing really new about it. At least till now, none of my direct customer have any complains of me, and actually received a number of praises. These brightens my work life.

So while working full time, I utilize my off days to take a break from work, mostly food though, and yes, this week, due to re-scheduling, I have 2 half days and 1 full day off in a row. A break well timed! Last wednesday accompanied a friend in wake, slept 3h before work, then the following day is world cup when I bet, and then followed by Beerfest, so that 4 days, I slept only 3h a day.

Anyway, Beerfest was disappointing in terms of beers, there are all light beers and all taste like tiger, no flavor at all and are rather flat, However, the list of bands are awesome! First time seeing smashing guitar, and crowds standing on tables and piggy-back each other to rock with the Killer Queen!

Then, I spent my tue with cell group plus zh to the Trick Eye museum! Though more exhibits than Bali, the exhibits werent as interesting, but then it's well worth, considering we even had the 50% off sales! Then on wed, I visit the SCC kids. Surprised, that after so long, there are still kids flocking to me, hugging and pulling me, shouting my name like a celebrity. Maybe someday I would really set up a child care and set a whole new culture of children! That we teach them the traditions and values, and let them have the freedom to explore, the knowledge to grow, the resources to be creative! And wow! Im so impressed with this lion dance kid, that he is interested in this chinese culture, and are training everyday, and is rather cute!

Then we went to strictly pancakes, cost me a bomb! but oh well I guess I have depleted their menu hahas! Then went for How To Train Your Dragon 2. The movie was okay, lots of concepts not convincing, but the message it brought forward was good. I guess one of the things the movie taught is never to look down on yourselves. Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measures! Who are we to look to ourselves and think "Im not as capable, Im not as equipped, Im not special", because we should be looking into ourselves and think "why not?". By being inferior, and being afraid to take on responsibilities, and to not dare to try, is not going to give glory to God, for we are all His people. We are meant to shine, and unleash our potentials, such that we give inspirations and hope for others to shine as well! And as we are liberated from our fear, we also give others a chance to liberate themselves of their fear.

It's gonna be graduation.
i have no special inclination to it at all,
just another rites of passage thing to me,
rather pointless, cuz probably I didnt put it much effort
so the cert isnt something very worthy to me.
But anyway, glad that I gonna be graduating,
all the projects and intern all over.
I had a catch up with a course mate,
really amazed how much of our theory works he could still rmb,
really rare to find ppl like him that treasures the knowledge we gained as much already.

Anyway, so it woudl be friend bday too,
so gonna have a rojak celebration tmr.
First is for wushu post graduation dinner,
then is for my graduation,
then is for fren bday.

So honoured that without organizing,
wushu guys are coming, cell, ex cell, and ex students.
10 ppl are coming to see my graduation,
I think thats the most number of visitor anyone I know ever had sia!

=)

feel bad not having much time catching up with ppl,
but cuz of work anyway.
the pay isnt good right now,
but i still accepted the full time position,
due to more working hours,
job familiarity and satisfaction,
opportunity to exposed to more things,
and yes, as a lazy person, proximity is high on concern!

Well, I guess, soon, I'll close one chapter of my life again!
50 years of my life ahead.....
still pondering,
still contemplating,
still bewildered,
and rather fearful,
but hopeful,
and ironically a little anticipating.

But nothing is definite in the world,
so yea........ just gotta let time unravel the future~

Back from Bali. 
Land of Gods, Paradise Getaway, Island of Terrains.....

Loved it there.
Different parts of Bali has different experiences.
There were beaches, and hills, and sun, and breeze, and chill, and stars, and disco balls.

This trip made me think alot as well.

1) I thought of family. What does it take to be a family? What is an ideal family? Sometimes, despite the many wonderful places, my parents tend to spoil them with their tones and attitudes. Sometimes it's so irritating when you throw tantrum just because things doesn't go your way, and you assume this and that, and always think you are correct. And then you are rushing itinerary that you dont enjoy the places at all. Or you take pictures for the sake of taking them, and often frowns upon good photos that you spoil the mood of the photos. And then complain about money again. And also weird behaviors, embarrassing, and not being graceful. But then again, We Are One. Things dont always go the way we want. But we are still as one, looking ahead for better things together. But then again I saw the interactions of other families and all, I just kept feeling why cant I have a family like that? Sigh, un-content-ment.

2) Wages there are so low! That most locals there cant really enjoy the development of their own country. I think that's something common through all countries, that the developments are meant for tourists to enjoy not locals. And welfare, somehow I think sg has relatively better healthcare. And education for mentally challenged, in Bali, there isnt classification of mental challenges and its a taboo, as they believe in karma, that misfortune such as these occurs because the family did some grave mistakes in life, they shun and alienate these ppl. Pitiful....

3) The kind of life they live is rather carefree, simple, yet happy. Sometimes Im too burdened by my parent's enforced expectations of earning huge money. Like as if money is all worth in the world. Sigh.

4) I always believed that no matter what, if a person wants you down, you have no defence against him. You can take hundreds of precautions, but it all boils down to heaven. But above all, a good person, no matter how bad, there will be a greater help for you.

5) Service. Service standards were so much better there, to every person there even if the person is not in service sector. They greet you politely, they are patient to guide, they are appreciative of gratitudes. In service line, in F&B, they provide wet towels as you enter, and welcome drink, no matter if you decide to sit and eat or to change your mind. They always speak nicely. Oh! they speak languages! Dutch, France, Holland, Cantonese, Mandarin, Korean, English, Balinese, all types!!! wow!!!

6) Culture. No matter young or old, their traditions are passed down well. Their dances, practises and skills are hereditary! Yet in Chinese culture, it's becoming shitty as generations go by. Why? See our traditional music and dance? The lion dance? now got hip hop? face palm!

7) Health. I see old folks there are to climb the steps with ease, carrying their harvests, yet young tourist like us struggling.

8) Religion. So many types of religions and practises! shall not discuss much here.

9) Some teachers abandoned classes to drive tourists around, to earn extra money, and even have under tables to secure a government jobs, that dont necessary fetch good money, though guaranteed job, but they are that "desperate"? Why? What would happen to the children of their future? So sad =( Knowledge is compromised!

10) their bars all so entertaining! they do have a night life though their night starts at 6 till 11 only. Short working hours, but they lived good. So relaxing there! I think I drank every single night except the last night.

Have been mia for very long.

Basically my life is all about work right now, my boss was great to me, my welfare was good, and he allowed me flexibility at work. Ofcoz, I have also strive to make myself useful in the brewery. Learnt alot about the business and customer relations. 

Really happy when customers compliment about my smile, my service, my enthusiasm and all. 

Life was ironic for me.

Never be too quick to speak, nothing is really definite in life. 

Long ago I never thought I could be accustomed to such working life, I would never imagine myself being in a job the whole week, doing the same thing and all... I enjoyed work right now.

It's like long ago I have never imagined myself liking club songs or rock songs.

Long ago I wouldn't have interest in TCM and now JL approached me about it, and since 2 years back I actually wanted to know about TCM cuz it's a great safe solution to elder health. 

That brings me to the irony that long ago I have never considered migration, I would be devastated if I leave all my social connections and life in sg. But right now I actually have thoughts to go to Sydney. I mean like there is nth that ties me down to sg anymore. 

Now I understand why ppl say that friends could be established again. In life, there is a limit of close friends you could possibly have, cuz of the need of connections and the scarcity of time. And friendship now is a different phenomenon, all these years I have been searching for those kind of die-die-stick-together friendship that do everything together go everywhere together. But then it's not practical in modern society. 

Firstly cuz we take connectivity for granted due to social media. We lose that value of physically spending time together. 

Secondly there are too much interest activities in the world that ppl have different tastes.

Thirdly time drifts ppl apart faster cuz much things could be completed now in the same period of time as before. 

Thus I chanced upon groups on google, it's amazing about the number of ppl liking a particular interest. So it becomes task specificity social support model, we go to different groups of ppl to seek what we want at it's best possible chance. You don't approach a photography club if you need help in business, you simply approach the entrepreneur club as it yields higher chance of finding help. 

That being said, I guess I'm saving money for a trip to Sydney to see the culture there. And ofcoz, the retirement villagers there. It could be a path for me in the future.