Today I treat the whole youths bubble tea.... a hole in my wallet.... my debt-ridden identity has officially been reinstated haha. But no worries, in a few weeks time it's all gonna be minor matters haha. Hmm, for this month, perhaps I'll be going back into the normal hdb enviornment to work, my old bubble tea shop =D

Anyway, talk about today, went to lent bike from tai, give shirt to friend, collect coupon, lent money, teach piano, cell, bbq, and supposedly wanted to go for tp haloween but couldnt make it. But im satisfied staying, we had fun, and its really encouraging to see the youths all having a good time together, i felt the bond, the warmth, the family. Its funny though, rather irony, for a game that supposedly encourages selfishness and ill feelings and even violence, to be the catalyst for them to enjoy themselves, and a magnet for the youths and the young adults to mingle together.

So I was just hovering around, jumping here and there, chatting here and there, and yea, I felt great, is totally like one function or something. We never had such big get together before as far as I know.

Then again, was eavesdropping some of their happenings in school, and yea, they really had lots of fun times and crazy times in school, facing a wide spectrum of problems, and I could see both the maturity and playful side of them. Yepp, all these, if one dont try during pri and sec, he might not have other opportunities haha.

Then yea the reservoir suicide case was brought up again. So yea this only proves that these people got little, if not none, to turn to for help, for rant, for seeking advice, and its rather sad for them. And yea I agree for one of them to have the mentality to wear full red, they are really pitiful. Their enmity for the predator is so great that they held that vengeful will to be willing to have the guts to suicide by drowning. Any ordinary person would struggle and paddle as someone pulls the leg in a pool, but they got to endure that psychological and mental torture just for that. Really pitiful.

Anyway, yea nowadays the teens have so much freedom, Im rather speechless haha, during my time, I was one of the only ones who had that degree of freedom, but teens nowadays generally have that same degree. And yea, definitely due to access to technology, information flow faster, and they experience lots of problems early, even to BGR, was watching this youtube vid, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFpLpM0KGwM&sns=fb, I was laughing at first, but felt pity for him after that. To be rejected at that age? It's like Games at Twilight, Ravi, was so hopeful about emerging victorious, but was completely crushed, to the extend, "He felt his heart go heavy and ache inside him unbearably. He lay down full length on the damp grass, crushing his face into it, no longer crying, silenced by a terrible sense of his insignificance."

Guess as we learn Socio and Psy, everything seemed to somehow linked together. As said, there are more to a child's world. They too, have their own problems and stories, often more interesting than the older ones. Probably cuz of Pavlov too, that as we age, we see the similarity of problems, and we gain experiences, from ourselves or from others, thus we already have a rogh idea what to do as similar problems surfaced, and this goes on until our life is rather predictable and meaningless.

Oh yea I survived first week of school.

Sem 2 focus more on Mon and Tue, especially mon, after that, time went pass rather quick, such that Ive been trying to remember what did I do yesterday 1-5pm after lecture on Thur? Cuz I seemed to have spend 10 bucks somewhere but that part of my memory has sinked into the long term memory perhaps? Or just vanish..... vaporize into thin air. Im ageing too quick!

Anyway yea I think Im just gonna like psy lecture, thus thats the only one im gonna attend for the rest of the sem, and BNF too because I dont understand a shit there...... Right Ive realised Ive been a little more blunt nowadays, gonna refine myself slowly again.

A best friend of mine has grown worst, he knew it himself, well thats a natural defence against stress. I find him starting to Intellectuallize, under defence mechanisms. He's getting more insulting too, and very defensive, an obvious sign of frustration in him to be released, to be projected elsewhere, another possible mechanism. Anyway yea gonna be busy the next few days too, sat bbq + haloween, sun wushu + collect cake + bowei buffet invitation, mon tue sch, tue bday surprise, wed visit to samy..... sigh....

Oh yea, one of my module is sociological research, so then someone asked me, why do people have a weak mentality nowadays, that should lead to an exploratory research, from which can branch out to more applied research, perhaps can be evaluation or social impact, or simply can use explanatory approach right away? And is best using cohort (note cohort and time/period is difference in a sense one is whole population, another is samples from it), or even can be panel, to see the shift in personality/mentality of the subjects over time, but result can be guessed its most probably because strawberry generation, people live better life and peer influence that made even the strong adopt the weak mentality. Cohort is best now cuz not much difference will the ages of teens be defined, unlike other terms that might differ their criteria over time.

On Sun, I should be having a hands on experience to handle personality problem. I never handled this because, it seems harder than handling family problems, as in counselling the victim, not solving it, just making the victim feel less affected. But the slow method is really slow.... I shall adjust abit the degree of bluntness I guess.

As classmates said:

This personality is hard to please, easy to be pissed, and rather mood swing, so it's a clear sign of lacking of self-esteem, such that you'll be looking for someone to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. Sure, it's okay for someone to make you happy, but if they're your only source of happiness, you might become angry or sad whenever they're not around, and that can be very demanding for the other person! It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.

It can be that this person received harsh and strict treatments that the person feel the lost of identity, not knowing how should the person behave to be accepted, and will resent if rejected, and so requires the attention. This person might feel lonely or at state of anomie because the person might feel he/she does not fit in with the world. However, at this stage, I think the person should realized the lag to keep up with the world.

Rather than complaining that the world (people around you) is against you, why not step back and look at it, that they function normally without your interference either, though without you they might not be connected to each other, but their lives don’t change, so the world will not stop because of one or two conflicts, you will just lag behind, like a rock in a flowing river. So perhaps, you should humble yourself, change yourself? Since in my opinion, you love attention, and that they are a few important sources of attention, so maybe you would all give in here and there?

Initially I thought its just a typical immaturity problem, yet seeing the wonderful minds of the gen z people, I dont think it should be lightly handled. Also initially I do not sympathize much and wanted to give one shot vomit everything out, but guess after thinking that the root of problem might be insecurity and searching for identity, I quite pity the person. But frankly, the person gotta learn to smile more, and be less sour plum haha. Have to level up sense of humour first..... be more accepting to the differences of human personality, then try to act such that both parties reach a common ground to co-exist harmoniously.

Then the LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?" "A staff," he replied.

Through the trip Ive learnt to understand the lyrics more:

As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand

And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned

But you'll see every day
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one

I totally feel the lyrics now. Due to relative's recommendations and various detours, my trip was not at all according to my plan. We actually went up to the Peak in the morning, where its night view is the popular one, and thus went to Avenue of Stars at night, which therefore unable to produce good shots of the statues such as the famous Bruce Less Sculpture. Initially I was really pissed about it, it's like eating beef noodles without beef.

Then, our trip is compromised because we dragged too long at Macau, again because we wasted 4h where we could have seen the shows in the casinos there. So it snowballed over to our stay at ShenZhen as well as HonhKong again.

Thus, our shopping time is limited, and my parents are rather slow (this one I dont blame them), thus we got all our pace all screwed up, rushing when its wiser to relax, and relax when we should be rushing. Also, due to my mum's poor health, we got to give the last day to her shopping (dont mind either), so yea more or less many of my want-to-do are affected. I didnt get much time to shop for souvenirs for friends, especially the Wushu Group, and SCC P6, also my cell.

I wanted to get something motivating and meaningful for the P6 just like the cups sx bought for us, I'd like to get mini sculptures that suit us 4, I wanted to get dryfits for our cell to like an identity shirt, i wanted to print group photos of us and relatives to express our sincerity and gratitude, i wanted to get a set of new clothes for mum n dad as well....

but well, even with so many unaccomplished, its still great, because as I look back, I see our constant hopes for everything to be smooth, for good bargains, for good weather, for good people, and we all stand as one family, facing all these obstacles as it be, to care when mum is sick, or as she have she leg pain, or as Im tired, and much more, it's really a great feeling, one ONE, WE ARE ONE~!

Anyway, Love Thy Neighbour ending is a still a great twist, Tian Hu and Ye Meng didnt get together, but they both showed hope for each other's future endevours, and lived meaningfully and optimistically. All ends well, though the rest I dont really care, so cliche, typical sg show.

The new series The Oath looks liek a great show too, it's about medical, the coexistence of chinese and western practitioners, filled with lots of twists as well. And Christopher is a great actor too =D along with other actors, they have their standard haha, I think it's a great message for sgreans too, about trusting TCM, because TCM can also cure, with lesser side effects, cheaper, and more comprehensive unless need surgeries etc. This fri gonna go TCM again =D would hear and increase a little knowledge too =D

Next sem timetable rather shitty, Monday 9am-9pm, 6 modules at one go, tutorials somemore, so heavy~! But tue cuz tut only at 4, so might use that morning to recuperate. Thur Fri will depends on the first few weeks, if the lectures are beneficial or I couldnt catch up with tutorials alone, then I cant work anymore =(, wed, I shall devote to self study or projects and whatsoever. =D since it's only 9am-11am tut. However all the modules are not to my liking, even the psychology might not suit me, since there might be lots of theories that will confuse me. Oh well, gotta brace through it~!! Gambatte~!! To me and all 1B01~!!! Hopefully our class would be more united and driven to excel, and to improve our teamwork, to achieve heights as ONE. =D

money is everything

i tell you why it is not. even the words say so. look, in EVERYTHING, there are only N,E and Y of MONEY in it and when you put N,E and Y together, you will pronounce it as "ney"(no)

=D haha so cute =D really creative~!!!

but anyway:

without money we cant think of anything else but survival, Maslow's first, so bottomline money must be enough first, Maslow's second =D thats business =D so that makes the world go around, almost everything we do because of money, example doing business, then while doing that, we make friends to have sense of belonging to work hard together =) Maslow's third =D so without money you wont even think of finding those things that money cant buy in the first place =D

so "money isnt everything" is a subset of "money is everything" =D just like in wushu first we need to just follow the routine expectations, then we find out that just follow isnt completely right in practical, then we improvise in our own style and understanding in it =D

Wootz epidode 19 Love Thy Neighbour was awesome~!!

That bitch was finally left alone~!!!

Anyway, still that angelina is such extra family, dumb dad too, and stupid parent that complaint too much homework on the husband's student, its like what the hell rare to find such passion lorh. Anyway oh yea last day of work this month~!! wootz~!!

Had a great chat with Marco too, about culture and all that, how his family and roots have strong culture of family togetherness, to the point that it might turn into a minus point due to the tendency of over reliance, but at least, their intergeneration is strong. Look at our society? We have kids dumping their parents for freedom, neglecting their parents for career, using their parent's property for personal profit, and much more, such as the Love Thy Neighbour scenario, to chase each other out of the house, whadacrap!

Yes I agree I think philipinos are strong and humble people. They are able to withstand lots of pressure but yet still abiding their principle of not getting bullied too much. Admired them. Marco mentioned about his upbringing too, as we talked about christmas and other festive seasons. Had a really great time working there, learnt alot from him, and other customers, as well as Rose and my colleges.

Service is like an outflow of our heart, we treat customers the way we want to be treated too, and have to constantly stay humble and keep light jokes. Up till date I guess I had no complaints, and instead a handful of positive feedbacks, and perhaps a few customers that look up to me, of trivial things like initiating to pay for their few cents when they had no coins. These are little money, but it means alot to them, for example to give them a change of 95 cents coins just for 5 cents? Ridiculous, or 14 cents or 35 cents, as most scenarios. And a can of drink more expensive than to buy 2? Rather dumb, at times I would pay for 2 and split half with them. And a bottle of mineral water for 2 bucks? That's so rip off! Sigh, sometimes though we got to profit from business, but not too harsh ba....

Today I served the coldness group ever, Keiyun group haha, so dead.... till they drained my energy too, but still gotta thank them for making my work time there pass rather fast and breeze. used up all my 4 vouchers on them.... to think that they had so much money at sec 1 sec 2, really got me rather jealous and admiring. Marco also commented, sometimes we feel that even kids are richer than us... hahahha lol.... as in really laughing out loud.

Oh funny incident, Marco wanted to video my nobody dance yet his hp broke down so coincidentally and appropriately at that instance hahaha. Oh well, another episode of my life ended with another happy note. Tomorrow gonna be busy, and then off I go to HK~!! Then I'll MIA for a week or two, depends on the amount of things I got to settle once I'm back.

Episode 18 Love Thy Neighbour,

Sianz the extra family seriously extra, suddenly got internal wars, fighting for house to profit, then lose 70k in stocks, useless man borrows 30k from dad for business, dumb boyfriend which dont help girlfriend, everything so crap. Compared to the centrestage family, suddenly got pregnancy-in-late-age, then mom-daughter reconcile, couple work hand-in-hand, neighbours help each other, then last part Lucy went for abortion, which Huang Da Fa initially planned for that, but in the end, recalling how much Lucy had done for him, and how much she yearn womanhood, and how much she love children that she decided to forgo everything she loves for him, he went to stop her, but it was seemingly too late~ arh damn tmr gonna be my last episode, until I have to wait one week for the final episode.

Work wise. Wow, be careful what you wish for. Yesterday was just blogging about testing my ability, 40 students came in during the lunch period. It was such a chaos! Actually everything was under control until I forgot to serve salads. Was really disappointed in myself, but oh well, at least no complaints unlike last Sunday, when Marco narrated to me the situations and complaints they received.

I believed this is the part where customer service can change everything. As long as we appeared calm, and polite, and seemingly handling the situation well, pretending that everything is under control, the customers wont feel too pissed. Job well done for me (self congratulate). Yet again there was a little monetary issue. Sigh.

Oh, Seb and Pet came, yet that time was just after that busy period, so I got to do the dishwashing, thus unable to serve them much, hope they're alright with that. At night, saw yongbao and lured him in haha, he bought 20 bucks worth of food. =D Rich people are really different.

Tomorrow KY and friends coming, I bought them the JuzToday 13 bucks voucher. Hope tomorrow wont be too busy so I can serve them =D Pet, Seb, Khairu group coming too, wondering what small cake could I buy. Hmm, busy day haha.

Sigh, after settling my endless commitments and socializing, cuz of the scholarship, I had to terminate the loan, which I initially insisted not doing. I knew this was going to happen. DUMB F!! This is the Fking Shit in life, as our lives are stable, we always want to meddle with it, trying to find a shortcut, or to maximize benefit, on the cost of so many DUMB legals to deal with, making life hard, waste time waste effort waste eyesight. For all I know, I might need to go down that DUMB bank to terminate the DUMB loan. It's like what the shit, I know the money could be used to invest, but what happen now? Been so stable in stocks, now suddenly losing almost 10k~!! Then what, waste my time cuz of the Fking loan? This is called the ridicule of men, when things are stable, thats when people start to come up with more nonsense. Men just want trouble, they do not know how to appreciate stability and peace. I especially loathe anything to do with legal stuffs, waste of my Fking time. I knew it, my rebellion earlier this year was for a cause, I knew somethign like that will happen. "Nothing will happen, its just that 3 years we got to pay back the loan at no interest. No need for you to trouble anymore but this time only." BULLSHIT! Waste of my time.

Urghh so spoil mood, argh let it be ba, just get a good night sleep, men are ridiculous, bo bian sia. ciao.

Work is fine today as well, except for the part where the is money shortage and we need to top up. Sianz, dont know whose fault is it, so be it then. I mean like so far anything I handle is alright, but whenever im not tracking the cash register sure got problem. Really confusing. Customers swarm in after 6pm, as usual as weekdays.

There is this tennis coach called Mark too, the one I actually delivered his wraps to the tennis court 3 stories up because he was in a rush that day. Today he came for 2 cans which is 2 bucks plus 14 cents due to GST, I offered to absorb that 14 cents myself, so I put a dollar in the cash float. At the end of the day, there was an extra dollar, which is weird because it should be 80 cents, furthermore according to Marco (previous Mark I used is Mark of kitchen), there was another customer taking 2 cans at 2 bucks without paying the GST, so should be short of that means the excess should be 60 cents. Oh well, perhaps I really suck at maths. Anyway these are small amount, but the difference at the afternoon is big! Almost an hour of our salary. Oh well. I do believe my customer service is good though. =D

2 more days, and I'm off to HK, and will think twice of whether or not to continue work there, but the thing is that Marco and Rose trusted me alot and taught me alot to prepare me for anything. I really feel sad to just leave like that, its like as a supervisor, its also sort of teacher, training a disciple, hoping to see him soar high one day. On the other hand, the responsibilities are really much, and the mental and physical strength demand is rather high to me. So I'll think twice, ofcoz compared to many other jobs, this is heaven already, but really, I think Im better off living my life volunteering, unless being my own boss.Dont really like big organisations, prefer doing simple stuffs like bubble tea. =D

A packed schedule this week, though time can fly really slow at work, at least I learn things. It's really enjoyable to see many different styles of customer, and how easily they agree to try my recommendations, but I do give them alot of ice cream haha =D Unfortunately I dont have a try at busy period yet. Ive been hearing stories of busy times, and the chaos they have to handle, I really hope to handle that one day, for a couple of hours or so, just to handle impatient customers and etc, to test my customer services when things are not going the way it has always been. So well, perhaps I'll work on a sunday for once in nov after i get my sch timetable. I want to have a try on how well I can manage situations, and how calm my mind can work. I think I would rather fail, cuz at times when customers swarm in and I got to take multiple orders and prepare drinks and deserts, I do kanchiong a little, though no mishaps yet, and I politely apologize which so far received no complaints, but "its alright", or "no problem" instead. Good customers I meet =D Thanks for the favour. =D

Love Thy Neighbour episode 17, dang im gonna miss the last episode, cuz just nice i sat 3am flight. Cant stop laughing at the cartoon-ness of the Tian Hu family, so hilarious man, especially the dad, "I'm so bored at home that watching ants shifting nests amazes me more and mroe each day"... hahha~!! and "The door will need to upgrade soon, as you're getting fatter by day"...... hahahhahaha~!!! Completely awesome~ If only I have such funny family haha, unlike that Angelina family, with such knn dad kept busaysong foreigner, walao everything also blame them, please larh singapore dont have foreigner called kampong liao lorh, somemore singaporeans kept bully blue collared foreigners lorh, seriously firetruck sia. Noone in the family pleases me, though that Mozart looks like a younger version of James Tan SE, but in the show he so damn stupid, so spoilt, so spoil plans too, and what a coward for giving in to bullies. Ok larh must applause for their acting, especially the mother, but definitely not for angelina, so damn lousy, emotionless, no exaggeration, not natural. Best actors are all of the TianHu family!! The Hong Kong family is good too, but I think that Michael guy very noob acting as well.... the Hong Kong guy better! and the wife haha! Awesome slang, was playing with that slang the other day at scc.

Full day again tomorrow. Ciao.

Episode 16 Love thy Neighbour,
A cliche small misunderstanding caused lovers to fall apart, just because of them them kept having the impression of the other as a thief, thus doesnt believe her honesty. This made me recall a phrase: At times, we should look at situations without history colored glasses, this way we would allow the situation to give us a new impression, a renewed impression, a new truth, instead of a distorted one.

Today work was great too, not too busy, helped out a bit here and there with dishwashing too, which caused the full time staff to be scolded, he's really unlucky. Sigh. Anyway, did closing solo today, simple but stress, because of the history of having shorts that we need to top up.

KeiYun came with his friends in the afternoon, accompanied them since the cafe isnt busy. He complimented me being a good teacher, woah I felt really great, though I may not really show, but to a teacher, just uttering that short sentence could really boost my morale ten fold. Hope that girl do remember and understand what was being taught. They had fun playing Blockus, I finally get the objective of the game now, initially I thought it was meant as a cooperation game to complete the biggest block. Anyway yea then they tried Family Business and a little of Lifeboats.

This would be the last week I'll be working, wondered if I should continue when school reopens. Now, I have an additional commitment towards the Tsao Scholarship Projects and to maintain my gpa for my studies to retain the scholarship. Hopefully my future modules wouldnt be too hard, but more suited for me, the thinking and practical type. Working here isnt really tough, just need the mental strength to provide best customer service, and last through the long hours of work.

The truth is, my pay isnt very high, but to them, despite being full time, I might have better pay than them. For this reason, I really hoped I could help making their work a little more enjoyable.

Alvin Tan came today, this was the first time he actually acknowledged me and spoke :Hey, how are you doing?, seemingly caring. A little motivation boost as well, but it was really a surprise. Actually I wondered why he came, he didnt seemed to be doing anything else but peek-a-boo-ing? (pop up suddenly). Oh well, not for me to comment.

So, I got much more to learn, much more to teach. Sometimes, just as Elder Jeffrey have once said, teaching elites are tough, we got to prepare ourselves to think their way, and even to think beyond their way, in order to encourage them thinking deeper and more advance, and therefore we got to be mentally prepared and do our 'homework' too. I really really feel super bad for not preparing the questions for him when tomorrow it was his exam. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Alright, its late and working full day tomorrow again. Ciao.

Recently met a few few friends, of younger age. Innocent as they are, one of them is on verge of a broken home, problematic family. We exchanged messages, ive tried to make the person feel less sad about having an incomplete home. Wondered if it worked, but yea anyway, the person is young, despite the admirable knowledge, its hard for someone of that age to go through this. I wonder how would it feel like in a normal person's point of view. I realized as we know more of the world, the more we are immune, the more the wall between emotional and rational diminishes. It is not necessarily a bad thing, for it is mandatory in certain profession such as counselors, funeral-dressers, doctors, disaster volunteers, even vets.

So I realized, long time ago, that the people Ive met, a huge percentage of them are troubled, and they do willing to approach me. Yet I always feel that I might not have the best solutions to them all.

Anyway, yepp, as I as chatting with a friend the other day, people look for me only when they have problems. See how true is it? haha, but yea I dont mind.

Now is 1am, a start of a new week, would be rather distant with my social life, and would be more focused on my work life. Hope everything's would be fine =D Let's all have success and serenity in anything and everything we do~ =D =D

One thing's for sure, the near future is bright, full of powerful people of the GenY and GenZ now, breakthroughs will occurs in more frequency, and would be revolutionary. Anyway, sad that the volunteer in BVH had ceased due to reconstruction, really sad, it was like finally a group of young people wanted to groove the silver main, yet the feast ended without us even tasting the main course yet. Sigh, at least we had some photos and facebook contacts, perhaps someday we would go ktv together. It's been so long since I've went for one. Would like to go with new people haha, wonder what would it be like.

Anyway, was singing "梁山伯与朱丽叶" just now, the feeling was great, to be singing duet with friends. That would be the first time we sang together I guess, I'm looking forward for more. We had lots of things in common, hopefully as we become closer, you would be more frank and open, to let me walk into your life more (Not gays larh, just that I got a weird feeling you got lots of problems keeping to yourself).

Oh Ive learned of such weird propaganda of "Pray the gays away camp", I kindda disagree with it. It's like we shouldnt force a person to behave a certain way just because we deem the current as deviant. It's always shaped by the environment around us, and we should accept diversity.

Anyway, back to topic, ktv, that made me think of Johann, which I havent seen in 2 weeks already.Really treasure the times where we walked to the MRT at night, singing MLTR and Try by Asher Book, and those in your house, and the "I will survive" and "你是我胸口永遠的痛" as we train our forearms, really great. Never had more fun singing =D But then again, those were the days when you were high nia hahas.

So I'm still looking for that someone, of the opposite sex, who have the same music taste as me, that would never get bored of singing, that we could groove in any and every occasions, even as we do chores, that is as uniquely her as uniquely me. Wouldnt the household atmosphere and mood be nice that way? Music is the greatest remedy for all sorts of problem, just open your mouth and sing, and let the bliss flow and fill. Imagine having themed nights singing to grease or country or club. It would really be a different ambiance every night, a different setting every time as we indulge in the world of music.

I found out I can really be very romantic lehh hahas, so embarrassing to say, but yea its true, I have like thousand and one ideas of dates, hehe. If only life is like musicals, just sing and sing and the whole world will join you, and will go through life with songs after songs. Like guilin form of communication, singing the same mountain song tune to talk. Well, dont know how true, just rumored I think.

Ok it's late, ciao.