我不再逃空虚日子
这一路都在熬
也许爱情就是 熟能生巧 
你绝对想不到我多渴望
让生活染上一些颜料~


hahas, suddenly sang this song after editing my parent's vday photo, hmm.... subconscious desire??

CNY was okay, planned didnt fold out, it was raining heavily, thus we were stuck at MBS.
Second day CH visited me the whole day though I didnt really entertain him
Now watching "Dad, where are you going".

oh well, it's really coming, and presentations on that day, like seriously?? oh.... and it's mala's bday hahas
she said "i had the whole world celebrating it for me" ahhahs!! cute max!

Furthermore, we had to wait for the lucky draw every hour. 
However, time passess rather fast, the whole day gone just like that,
with sore legs and tired eyes. 

I always felt so sorry for being unable to spark up something to talk
and get him talking and high...... sigh.... i'll find that bridge one day!

korea variety of father-child vacation,
really really cute~~

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=482834821778326&set=a.342457625816047.80322.102799093115236&type=1&relevant_count=1&ref=nf

Today was a rather hectic day, but Im glad able to at least sent J and his family to Changi MRT, but gotta head home due to the fret of no more transport home. In the end we had to take 24, and walk a long way home. Well, rather disappointed that we didnt get all the thx and goodbye msgs, even when he is on hp 24/7.  Oh well, maybe my expectation too much, too anal about it, its always a difference in level of how people treat you.

Kindda think of it, we only meet once a week, nothing so special about him flying, just that he once sent me, I felt obliged to do so too.

Well the week is almost over, left the performance in 5h time. Sigh, crazy performance. Oh well, push myself a little. Anyway, going for Vday run.

Hmm, the drama just concluded again, the last episode was totally abrupt, all the "problems" are solved so fast so unnaturally.

One more week to go, to freedom. XD

Looking forward to CNY with family at Gardens By The Bay. The spirit of CNY!! I think family is the best pillar of support ever, at least you can rely on it, and its always there to back you up. Ofcoz, sometimes as we look at other families or drama scenarios we felt that the grass is greener there, but I guess generally speaking, every household has their own pros and cons.

Sometimes, I think I expect too much for my family too. The other day I casually commented that my dad ought to understand us more, so as we say "help bring the tee", dont have to ask specifically but already has in mind what are we referring to. I gave the analogy of a good secretary who would consider what the document is for, need how many copies for how many parties, both sides, coloured, collated, stapled etc for the boss when the boss might just say "print this".

Felt bad saying it as it might seem like he do not know about us, but seriously, all he do is to camp in front of the computer watching dramas and shows. WTH not even educational or inspiring, just some cops stories and china history. I mean like, he dont watch for arts pupose - means he dont look at emotions, camera angle, non verbal expressions, storyline, character development, and he dont watch it for escapist purpose too, he doesnt have any stresses to require to seek refuge in the delusional virtual utopia. I recommended intelligent shows he dont really appreciate, needless to say musicals, just that after much explanation he agreed its a whole art and culture in those, but not in his understanding or interest yet.

I admit I could be totally engross to rush through a 25 episodes drama in a day but I was chasing the storyline and I just like to complete what I have started. Then, I would review and critic and only get the inspirational part of them. Some are really great like World Without Thieves. Some are just rubbish, for fun joy laughter. I do tend to be more inclined at the first, but the latter is still needed to destress.

Sometimes, when someone shared something they feel great about with you, would you laugh? And why do you laugh? Is it because you are happy that your friend is happy? Or just an act so that your relationship with the person is sustained? And so what if people do not rejoice as you did when you shared something joyful to you with the person? How would you feel? Should you feel "rock-bottom" that the friend do not share the same sentiment? Wouldnt that make friendship nothing but mere selfish pursuit of self? That you would expect them to feel the way you do? If not, you wouldnt feel happy? Or you wouldnt feel great? Then what makes a friend, "friend"? and not acquaintance? Nor simply a tool of help? Or a commodity of trade? Passer-by? There are just so many "actings" and "compromising" to do in any relationships, I wonder what would life be like as a hermit? Perhaps thats why the Task-Specificity model explains Social Relationships better, as we approach different people for different intention. Are there then what Bo Ya considered as "True Friend"? "The One Who Knows My Music"? "Soul Mate"?

As society advances, everything is so fast paced. Emotions, problems, projects, work, school, money, everything is constantly and seamlessly changing. I felt that I think being always on the fast lane, having so much activities and new experiences, I often expect too much.

This morning for wushu, I came up with another game, similar to chess, to place the tatami in a chess format, and have both teams on each sides, and each team were to move one player one adjacent tiles at a time. When they face-off, they will PK horse stance. Then, the losers are supposed to be doing extra physical movements as a "disadvantage" that was to be stacked, but due to their physical level we scraped that. Actually Im rather surprised they are able to last such a long time doing the horse stance. 

So then Jo casually asked, why do we always come up with new games and not replay the old ones. I thought for awhile, yea, it didnt really come to me that we can reuse games, I was always thinking of new games. It's personally I guess, always seeking for new exposure. 

Well, again I see the bonds of the Jr, Im really really really glad.

So then, after a shag day, luckily it rained and I got to rest my body. 

Then I came across this taboo app called "Bang Your Friends". Im like what in the world?! Why would such app even exist. This really grows the desperation of people nowadays, and the derogating sex norms. 

Then I skimmed through a few "What would you do" videos, and felt that luckily I think humanity still exist. It's always great to see people standing up for one another, but again there are topics raised that are really complicated and rather controversial. Again, I just think that humans have to have more understanding of one another, to see beyond their actions, to their culture, upbringing, experiences, geographical locations, belief and personality. 

Then, I was looking through personality disorder and I thought I fall into mild Histrionic Personality Disorder.  Somehow I have the constant feeling of wanting to distant myself with the world, yet at the same time possesses some kind of unbearable form of loneliness, but I consider myself very social-able and outspoken which shouldn't have this problem and then fighting a constant battle whether or not to initiate or to let the other party initiate cuz of the "effort" and "worthiness" measures. Maybe, Im anti social too as many of my social network are hermits too, like me. Hmmm. Then most hermits are really frog in well, I get the benefit of exploring the world, so I would always like to share the world I see, but that would lead me to not be able to find someone that would be outgoing, understanding, full of wisdom, yet loyal, trusting, and fun-loving. 

And lately I have been very restless to do anything still. Burnout, but over nothing. Why?

Then as CNY and Valentines is approaching, kindda wondering what would I be doing, how memorable would it be, how happy should I feel. The channel 8 show showed a guy alone on CNY eve, really feel sad for him, yet also, I thought of those ppl who have no kins on reach, or still have to work, or abandoned, they have no problem going through it, mostly also that they have a group that they belong with that substitute the sense of belonging of family and spouse. This really proves how accurate is Maslow. I really loved to see a big big family of 10 on one table feasting, and none on phone or any other gadgets. I remembered how angry I was at the second CNY at JL house when most of the people are fixed on gadgets. 

Then I thought of child rearing. I mean like, I would like to train my child to not be afraid of asking, but it might spoil him, but if dont ask, will be shy, so have to ask and yet if the person said no have to dont feel hurt, but that would make him easily con-ed. Sigh. Also, i would like him to seek for opportunities by only providing minimal pocket money, that he have to complete task to bargain for more, but that would make him no empathy, and money minded, if pocket money, too reliant and too "employee" like. Then, I would like my child to able to be open with me, to update me about everything even though I wont do anything unless he asked for advice. But then who would actually do that? Sigh.  

Today I went to Community Singing with Robert Fernando. He has an awesome voice, really deep and clear, very suitable for oldies. I think such events are  really awesome, to bond the community with music. Looking deeper into it, the songs he arranged are sooooo suited. He started off the song with "I believe in music", and got the atmosphere up with the exercises and ice breaking. Then, in the middle, the transition to the other singer was good, with the bridge song being "Release Me" and such.

The audience are all so supportive, standing up to join in the singing, and even stood up to groove. At his part, he frequently engaged audience participation by splitting us half or by gender, or to call up audiences on stage. There was the kids, soooo cute! especially the sisters! When singing "Rasa Sayang" one of them actually turned towards her sis and gave her a shhhh sign hahahs. Really cute! And there's the guy who took the whole balloon sculpture nearly his size and asked whether he can have it. Anyway, back to Robert, I loved the part of Quando Quando where he started a train chain with the audience, and all of us was involved in the train ahah! And at Blue Suede Shoes he encouraged us to dance.

One of the best community singing I've been to! I hope this type of event would reach out not only for the senior community to bond and have fun, but also the youths to rekindle the flames of oldies up, and we can have a n intergenerational community of love and joy, where people greet each other on streets and have compassion towards one another.

We were approached by a lady that sells some trivial thing that I did not need, so I said sorry no, she went on talking with anger, that she's from some organisation I couldnt recall, and that they are not as fortunate as us having meals, and then continued to "scold" us for being ungrateful and she also mentioned about pursuit of religious faith that she thinks do not benefit herself.

I just felt pitiful for her as I know there are less well off people in the society, but in every society, for every rich there would be poor, cant help it, and for every poor there would be a rich to reach out to them, and thats how society functions. I mean, at least in Singapore, the statistics of absolute poverty are really really small, there are a great pillar of support from religious groups and non profit organisations for them. I always stereotyped the poor to have more understanding and wisdom towards life and hardships, but looks like im really wrong. To an extend, she's really myopic and full of self resentment.

Besides, wont they think of some other ways other than begging for money? No free lunches in the world okay! Gotta earn the effort to at least please Heaven to give you a way out, and in the first place are you even sensitive to the medium or forms of help Heaven sent?

Oh anyway my dad sent in a resume for the RC manager position, hopefully he gets in, then it is really the right platform to actually make a difference, towards a more united and happier community!